The Promise I Made

Back Story: As many of you know, my last US crossing from West to East on US60 was completed mostly on my own. The real exception to that was that John was a day or two behind me (30-60 miles at any given time, give or take some). This occurred first, due to us getting separated in a rain storm. Then, he had cart issues (front wheel) and encouraged me to keep moving forward. I did, and all was well overall, with him still out on the road, but just in different towns at night/morning. We communicated daily and knew where each was at any given time. The problem? I had committed to my family (prior to that crossing) to stay in proximity to my running partner, for safety reasons and to decrease my families worry. I did not abide by that promise and completed the crossing on my own. John did finish as well, 2 days later. Success!

Fast forward to this crossing: I made that same commitment and promise to my family, and pinkie swore, to really stay with my running partner this time. Really, I will! If he stays back, I stay back as well. John and I will set our own pace during the day, but our nightly destinations will be the same. Every night, I guaranteed. Just once so far in these 20 days, John stopped before our arranged destination, due to not feeling well. But we did sync up the next day. I kept to my commitment and promise to be as safe as possible. And having someone else there, esp at night and early morning is vital to what the plan was going to be in order for my family to be "all in" for this crossing. I had my mind-right. I was prepared, and I felt this was a fair request, and something I could do to keep everyone feeling 'okay' about me living on the road.

Yesterday, Day 19: John is still not feeling well. He's having physical/health issues, that won't allow him to be successful on a daily basis as he wishes to be. In order to respect his privacy (he is a private person when it comes to his health) I can tell you that he's been struggling with his ability to perform the miles as he desires to, and/or is able to. He told me yesterday he's going to stop this crossing. I choose not to blog about it at that time, as I had continued discussions with him, as well as tried to sort out my own feelings about what this means for me, as well. John feels certain I will have no problem finishing. But that's not the issue. The physical portion of these miles is not a issue for me, fortunately. BUT, safety is. I made a promise. I made a commitment to my family, ahead of time, to not do this alone. That John and I will be near and/or together daily. Now, he's leaving. When, you ask? In the next 4-6 days approximately. He desires to get to a bus station for his transportation.

What now? Good question! David just about hopped a plane to come fetch me. But, we have agreed that I will continue this week, until I know John's final bus plans. David knows me well. I say things like, "Just another day or so" or "I'll just get to Maryland first" or "What about meeting in Richmond, that's half-way". But the fact is, I'm going to keep my promise. I'm going to do the right thing. I won't stay out on the road, sleeping outside alone, going through "bad" parts of town without anyone around if I need them, or putting myself in harms way to get to Florida. Do I want to just keep going? Well, yes, of course I do! But the risk and danger is not worth seeing the Route 1 End sign in Key West. I need to be responsible, yet I'm devastated. This is what I love to do.

In my sadness, I tell myself this:
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

I'll enjoy every minute I have left , as I go through Connecticut. Every step. I'm going to Groton tomorrow. Clinton, CT the next day. And so is John. For now. Milford, CT is after that, and then I think that may be it. Crossing NY and New Jersey on my own is probably not wise. And then, I'll go back home where I'm safe. I'll most likely fly out of New York, and more details are to be ironed out as the week unfolds. And John is making his own arrangements. I'm so sorry he does not feel well, and know this has been very hard on him.

I never could have predicted this. Yet, I'll never forget this time I've had in the gorgeous New England area. I'm not done.....as it will take a few more days to tie this up with a pretty bow, and not cry about it. I'm grateful for these days, the people, the places and all the support you all have given me. It has fueled my soul, and I just can't thank you enough for standing by me. And being here with me.

I'll awaken in this awesome campground tomorrow morning, and set out for another day on the road. I'll take these next few days I've been given, and make the most of them. Thanks for understanding and being there for me. Please say prayer for John, to feel better soon.
It's going to be okay,
Cyndi