The favorite part of my day

We all have it, a favorite part of our day we really look forward to. Sometimes it's on the weekends and sometimes it's a particular time in each of our days, and sometimes it might be on a day off work but there's likely a part of the day we really love. Mine is when I go to the barn.....but you probably already knew that. 

Love you to the barn and back

Over the years, you have seen in this blog the constant changes inside (and outside) the barn. Let's see, stalls for sheep and/or lambing. Movement of the chicken coop or additions of roosting spots and bars. Makeshift stalls for the horses. Feed and hay over here then feed and hay moved over there. It's probably been exhausting to watch and at the same time, it's been my every dream come true. 

Most people love to move the furniture in their living room around, or in their bedroom. I love to move things around in my barn. And lately, since it's me, myself and I caring for everyone in the outside world on the farm, I decided it was time for a barn remodel. Mainly, the elimination of the wood flooring on the easterly part of the barn. That wood floor has seen some things. Sheep poo, sheep lambing extracts (blood, placenta, you get the idea) and primarily, chicken ick. And you know how wood is.....it's like your mother-in-law, unforgiving. 

This wood floor has served me well, but it's time
for it to go. 

I plan on using this space for roosting opportunities
for the girlz. I still have about 18-20 hens sleeping 
outside, and I'd like to woo them inside before it gets cold.

Then on the westerly side of the barn (this is all inside the barn mind you) I had the flooring taken up there which was huge heavy barn mats to find underneath it all was (drum roll) dirtish gravelish stuff.

The flooring on this westerly side of the barn was 
primarily thick black mats, which was okay. But
now both sides of the concrete (which is down the middle
of the barn) will be gravel, and 
chickens love to scratch around in gravel.

Surprisingly, no mice were found in the removal of any of the barn flooring (esp under the wood floor) which was shocking because I had recently just discovered I had a mouse family living inside my over/stove inside my house nesting in the insulation that surrounds the oven itself, who feasted on the appliance wires along with whole pieces of bacon underneath the stove that I have no idea how that got there. The mouse family could live there as if it were covid times and never leave their cozy little home they made. Until they ate the wrong wire and the oven started smoking and it wasn't even turned on. Long story, but let's just say that it was on Brooks birthday with people at the house and nothing caught fire which was a miracle because if nobody had been home it would have been a different story for sure. That oven/stove is now gone and a new one in it's place that has no mice. I have child and pet-proof mouse "traps" now all around the inside of my house to hopefully prevent that situation again. I never even knew that could be a thing. Mice living inside an appliance, but now I know. 

Wow, I got lost. I was talking about no mice in the barn during the remodel. And probably because there's 130 chickens around that would chase it. So as the flooring on both the east and west sides of the concrete (right down the middle of the barn like a runway) was being removed, a decision of what to put in its place needed to be made. I went with a "base" similar to what's under a real gravel road and then gravel on top of that. Yeah, like a gravel road in my barn. 

So this side of the barn now has plenty of places for the 
chickens to roost and sleep. The gravel has replaced the 
old, stinky wood. 

So I wasn't sure this was a great idea but I did it anyway because that's how I roll in my life now. I'll call it doing Cyndi Things. Turns out, it's working well. Whether it's dirt, gravel, concrete or anything on the floor in a chicken barn, it's going to get dirty and daily and weekly cleaning is necessary. Side note: If you are thinking about getting chickens it will be the best and worst decision you've ever made. Chickens are dirty and one must be prepared to live with chicken poop in their life. Hence, why most people do not chose to have chickens.

This side of the barn now has 2 coops which the chickens
love to sleep on - and in. And all new gravel . The concrete
floor in the barn stayed as it and supports the gravel areas well. 

As you glance over these pics, you'll notice I moved a few things around, and the chickens were not happy about that because chickens hate change. They absolutely hate change and never want anything moved around, esp their roosting spots. 

This is looking right down the middle of the barn. 
It's dusk and the chickens are starting to come in and find
their resting spots for the night.

In order to make my life easier, I've now taken all the chicken feeders and placed them inside the barn. I have 4 big chicken feeders and they each hold 50 lbs of feed. Everyone shares nicely. Even the goats try and eat the chicken feed, too. Now, feeding my chickens is super easy. It's all inside the barn and ready for winter and safe from rain. I still have waters in the barn and outside the barn, but with summer gone, I have far less water buckets out so that's less time, too. 

The one area that did not change was the horses stalls. Those are concrete areas with cush-y mats (for horse hoof comfort) and stayed as is. Dora and Hope are both very used to their am and pm feedings inside the barn. 

Hope, you're looking good! 

The summer fans are being stored in the
horse's area.

Excuse the messy floor, as I typically clean it on the
weekends now. The barn tenants don't seem to mind. 

The routine and rituals inside the barn are what helps ease the work with so many animals. They all know what to expect and when to expect it. Feedings in the am and pm have become easy and not overly time consuming. I also only clean the barn weekly now, and since it's never going to rain again, mowing has gone down to almost zilch. Farm chores are actually a time for me to bond with my fur and feathered farm animal friends and make sure everyone is okay, fed and watered. The best part is all the pets I'm able to give to everyone as less time on chores means more time for the animals (CoCo The Goat, Dora the Mini, and Maggie The Pig are all very fond of pets as are many of the chickens) and the love I receive in return is not measurable on a scale. It's infinity. 

The amount of love, joy and abundance I receive is what fills my cup up every morning, and what brings peace to my day each evening.

It was during this remodel that I did begin the process of putting up some summer things (think fans and extra water buckets) and begin bringing out winter things such as doors and walls that need to be placed back on some of the coops (for warmth from the cold, eventually). 

During the extreme heat of the summer, I remove
the nesting box doors and also the door(s) to the
coop(s) because it just gets too hot in there for them.
It's time to start putting them back on now.

So in this remodel, I've moved the nesting boxes around which the chickens hate when I do that and I try not to do that often. 

I've added the nesting boxes here.

And the best part? Paul is super excited that he has his mirror back and his special perch (saw horse) where he stays much of the time, staring at himself. He perches on top of the saw horse each evening/night and sleeps there. He's also one to sleep in, and is usually last off his roost in the mornings. 

His saw horse roost in now in front of
his mirror and he loves his "area"!

Forever admiring

Forever nearby

This is probably one of my favorite changes to the barn remodel, is Paul's Area. He absolutely loves it - and deserves it. He's one of a kind and he better live forever or my heart might actually break in two. Did you hear that Paul? Featherever. Never leave me.

I had a problem initially though. Coco was occupying the mirror so much, I had to move Paul's perch over in front of his mirror to keep CoCo from playing with her new goat-friend in the mirror, much less that I was afraid she was going to break the mirror. 

Eventually CoCo left her new friend in the mirror alone, so Paul could have his mirror back. I'm often reminded of the personalities the animals all have. They are varied and remind me of humans. Each farm animal has their very own distinct personality and we as humans disassociate from that as we eat them for food. But it's true. Each animal is special, and I love learning from them and observing their behaviors and watching their personalities develop and evolve. CoCo is super social yet Pearl wins the beauty contest around here for her gorgeous white fur and stunning blue eyes, but she could never actually receive an award as all the confetti falling from the ceiling would cause her to faint. I try not to scare her because I hate to see her fall over. It's funny and sad all at the same time. 

Pearl waits for me right here 💕

I'm also happy to report that Belle and Lulu are living out their senior years in the back pasture and are doing great. And as I type this, I realize that Noah from the Ark would be proud. I have many animals "in two's". 2 goats, 2 sheep, 2 ducks, 2 mini horses, Maggie The Pig almost qualifies for being 2 pigs-in-one as she's a big girl for sure, and Paul counts as 2 because his friend in the mirror actually counts as his +1. Even Maybe and Sugar are so bonded they could be a true pair. And 2 sets of Great Pyrenees brother/sister combos of Levi and Whisper, and Dutch and Penny. Yes, Noah, we are also a fan of animals going Two by Two with the exception that there's no reproduction happening on this ark farm.

And with this new configuration and remodel of the barn, things seem to have settled down and everyone is finding their roosting place again. Some in similar places and others finding new places to roost for the night. 

The chickens are really enjoying the jungle gym that Sheryl's
family brought to the farm for Brooks. I found the chickens
use it far more than any children do, and that's okay. 

Sometimes a child's play gym is really a
chicken roost in disguise.

The one thing I know for sure is that a sleeping chicken is a pooping chicken. So, what I've had to do is place black mats under each roosting area so that I can clean up the poop easier. The gravel is great but it's easier to clean a flat surface, and now that all the mats are under the chicken sleeping areas, I think I'm set. I'm so pleased with the new remodel, the new changes and the new feel that the barn has. It makes me happy and I love seeing all the animals happy, too. Now, if I just just lure those last few chickens roosting outside to come inside the barn, I'll really be happy. Silly chickens. Winter is coming.

And while I clean up my own life, I'm cleaning up the things 
around me. I've taken down this feeding area outside the barn.
It's now an area where they dust bathe.

I had forgotten what driving up to the house looks like with
all this gone.

(This is the BEFORE pic)
The chickens used this area before, and actually still do, except 
there's no fencing now. The fencing was to keep out Maggie,
the sheep and the goats out of the food in this area,
but that's not an issue any longer.

Lots of changes inside and outside the barn. Lots of changes in my own life. I'm happy to report everyone is doing well. Brooks turned 3, Olive is almost 4 months old and I started to include much of that in this post, but realized I'd break the blog because it would be so long. So I'll leave you with this:

3 years old now

Olive gets the award for the most smiles

Watching Lauren with these
two sweeties is the joy of 
my life 💝

We'll cover all the changes from inside the actual house, next time. You know me. I gotta get my barn settled to settle my soul. I can check that off my chick list and cock-a-doodle do my next project. 

Til then,

Cyndi

The chickens have made a request

 

Recently, the chickens had a good idea. They sent Pecky Becky to report their request: a remodel of their barn - and I think it's a great idea!

Barn Re-Do Please

One of the Before pics:

The old wood floor and the lambing stalls are a couple of items included in the remodel. And so it begins......

Once complete, I'll let you know how it turns out! I just know the chickens are gonna love it. 

A New Settlement

There's no justice to the way tragedy visits us 

We all have unsettling and difficult times in our lives, some people more than others. When hard times fall upon us, that's when we are provided the privilege to determine if we move through it with an open heart and listening ears or stay true to our old ways. 

It's my turn to make this determination. Because as some know and others do not, here's a recent announcement David and I made to close family and friends:

Dearest friends, we wanted to share some information with you today. After much thought, discussion, reflection and loving consideration, we have made the decision to separate and divorce. We are much better friends to one another, and look forward to supporting each other as we always have in our lives. There are no sides, there is just us. You may find us sitting on the patio together, visiting with you  together, or sharing a meal together. We felt it important that you know so it would not come as a surprise when we have the opportunity to hug your neck sometime soon. Please also know that we are uncoupling amicably and with understanding and compassion for one another. 

Untying the knot is never easy, yet we will continue to strive to do right by one another. With grace and love, Cyndi and David

Cool Change

In this particular season of my life, I've began noticing how often one of my favorite songs, Cool Change by The Little River Band is coming through the speakers of my truck. It has always reminded me that spending time alone - and in nature - is healing, needed and often wanted. Each time I hear it, it's as if it's speaking to me directly. It's time for a cool change. 

Although many may not or will not understand why this decision has been made, I know that others will place their judgment, opinions and their own past experiences to mine, as it seems to be human nature to do this to one another and often times without even knowing we are doing it. And although many will want to know the nitty-gritty of the why's, I understand that it's mine to keep. And it's mine to share if I desire to do so. At this time, it's best for me to stay focused on myself. 

I've watched many folks around me in the last many years who've divorced and I've watched closely how they act and what they say. Many of whom I've taken a page out of their book on how to navigate the road ahead and how society around you will react. You see, many people see divorce as shameful and quite frankly, as failure. Yet, for me, I see how divorce can be healing and beneficial. I see it as a path back to me. 

This keep happening

It's the patterns and cycles that dictate the direction a relationship is steered. Many patterns are good for a relationship and others not-so-good. As I contemplated whether to stay or go in my own relationship, I had to recognize that I would be grieving either way. Because each path requires me to trade something for something else. I made the hard and difficult decision that leaving the relationship would then allow me to see where my choices and actions would match my core beliefs, values and true self. There were parts of me that I lost along the way in my marriage and I now know that they are not lost forever. 

Stay true

Once our decision was made, David and I agreed on many things and one of them was the salvage of integrity. We both desire the respect and dignity for not only ourselves, but for the other. Tearing each other apart is never beneficial for anyone. 

So as we stay true to ourselves, we also try very hard, and I mean very hard to treat each other with decency during the messy middle of a divorce. Sometimes we have to try to try and that's all we can do on a given day. Sometimes the emotions that are felt in a single day surpass a number that seems greater than the universe allows. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I'm the happiest I've ever been. Yet, all the time.....I know this is part of the process of letting go and grieving. It's hard no doubt. There is an ultimate goal of 'us' to stay friends, and anyone that's been through a divorce can tell you that this isn't an easy goal. We are trying to try, and attempting to talk through feelings as they arise. We don't have to agree. We just need to listen. We need to understand how each of us, all along, were experiencing this marriage very differently. We need to understand how our origin wounds affect our lives now. We need to understand that we ourselves may need to reparent ourselves and heal that inner child within us. We need healing and clarity and this new path gives me a way there. Inner work typically goes unnoticed and unrecognized. The self awareness it takes to recognize its necessary is a bill pill to swallow. 

So as we make our way in this new world, please bare with us. It's easy and hard all at the same time. Regulating emotions during hardship is a work in progress. Right now, I'm busy loving myself, dating myself and taking the crown and putting it back on my beautiful head. 

So what is the new settlement you speak of

I think what I call the new settlement is all of us, yes every last one of us (David, Lauren, Ryan, Brooks and Olive) are all settling in to our new physical and emotional places. We are figuring out what to say and what not to say. For as many years as this has been building, the actual rupture requires understanding and patience from us all. So much learning taking place. So many beautiful gifts we are receiving during this time. Gifts of grace to one another and learning that it's okay that we are where we are at in our lives. The practice of self-compassion is key. We are humans doing human things and we won't necessarily get it right the first, or second time we do things. But we keep trying to try. After all, faith functions best when we don't know what's around the corner. 

Broken crayons still color,

Cyndi