Monday, December 31, 2018

Moving forward to the New Year

It seems every year, I learn new and different things. This year was probably one of the biggest years for change, and we've had a lot of change in our 30 years of life together. Between the loss of David's parents, settling an estate, new lambs, chicken losses and gains, guard dog's surgery and continuing recovery, retirement from the OR into the medical office setting, new guard dog pups to train, Lauren's new-found love of biking (plus a myriad of change for her, certainly), constant care and movement of fencing for farm animals, new roofs on all the dwellings, as well as other plethora of day to day activities. I began my own death cleaning this year, and learned to love less clutter - and less noise around me. I know that this is what we all do in life. Other people's changes are different from mine, but just as impacting and important. We are all bouncing along this wonderful life together, each doing things in our homes to live life as best as we are able. With love and loss.
I've learned the impact of one's parents death(s) is varied and far reaching. The learning from it goes well beyond "what to do after a death of a loved one". It's a lot of rethinking, forming what if's, and maybe even some regrets along the hard road we call the grieving process. While life continues for us, and changes are happening, the end of life for others forms new pathways into ones thinking.
Simple questions arise like, Will I trust my adult child's judgement when the time comes that I need to hear hard things? Will I take other's advise when my decisions are not sound? And maybe most importantly, How will I know when it's time - to make a change or move?
It's so hard to realize a time will come for this type of thing. But it does, even though I can't see that far ahead in life. It's like it happens to others, but those kinds of things won't happen to me. As I age, I no longer believe that, because I know a time will come for "that" kind of change. The changes for 2018 are normal, regular life changes as we all have. I'm hoping in my lifetime - and when it's "time" - God will grant me the grace to know that a season of change is necessary.
My favorite thing about all this is it will be a surprise. So how can I be ready for a surprise? I've never known in my life where I would be in 10 years down the road. So planning for proper care at a late stage of my life seems perplexing and confusing. I didn't even know that in January 2018, what was about to fall in my lap in late 2018. How could I possibly construe and formulate a plan for "later on" not knowing my destiny. Where's the book on all this? And to make it even more difficult and complicated, each person whose of older age is so vastly different. There's no one path, and no "right" path.
So as I cool my jets on thinking about my own plans when an age strikes that requires me to seek assistance, I move forward. I'm ever changing and evolving as a person, as most of us are. I don't want to dig my heels down and define myself as "fill-in-the-blank". I want to be fresh, learning, and smile. I want to learn to listen to my intuition more regularly.......and trust it. I always want to learn to love myself more, because as I do, I learn to love others more.
With this evolution, I find I need to be more and more open to the things around me. Social media, 'current' phone etiquette, trendy and cool things that make living life easier, resetting my expectations on today's lifestyles, and listening to the younger generations. Now that's really how I learn things. Don't get me wrong, I still want to do things my way, the old way, the ways I've always known. But that only gets me so far. Speaking of learning, I've learned I need to be open to ways of doing things that are not necessarily comfortable - or may even seem illogical to me. But that's the way life works, and it's taken me years to see that I can sit back and say things like, Remember when the phone was attached to the wall to talk? Or, Remember when there were only channels 4, 5, 11 and 13 on the TV? Or one of my favorites, which I resist the urge to say (all the time), Remember when people answered the phone when it rang?
So now I find myself "sounding old". And by the way, I feel it when it happens, most of the time. Or I can tell by the look on others people's faces around me. Either way, I'm doing it. I want to learn new things everyday - and I hope I can continue to do that. I want to try and keep up, just a little bit, with this vast world of happenings.
It's a conflicting paradigm, though. One side of me says, "Yes, Keep up, Gurl!", while the other side of me says, "Go put a Closed sign on the gate out front of the property, and become a commune and never leave". Ah yes, I'm conflicted.
I'm picking the option of Keeping Up. I'm like a 2 year old chasing after a mom walking too fast. Wait for me! I'm just trying to keep up with life, keep myself in line, and manage all my sweet farm animals - all at the same time. Luckily, I have a life mate, best friend, kindred soul and husband who is compassionate and amazing. He wants me happy, as much as I want him to be happy. He's a wonderful artist, woodworker, and baker. He's my gateway into the world of growing old. And there's no one else I'd rather travel in time with.

Bring on the changes of 2019. I'll do my best.

Cyndi


Farm Update:
Due to the nature of a recovering dog and guard pups who are still young, heat lamps were placed in the barn to assist them with the cold winter temps.
The lambs are in the midst of weaning from their mama's (and us, from Little Grace). The lambs are now big enough to be secure and eat on their own, and become more and more independent.
Grace is down to 1/2 bottle am and pm. And cries for more constantly. Insert hurts heart to hear her cry.
All electrical heated water buckets are in place for the upcoming 20 degree weather.
Sugar is beginning to learn her name, as is Dixie and Davis.
This rain makes the farm a muddy mess.
The donkey's own updated barn is ready just in time for this cold and wet weather.
Last, all the chickens are healthy and happy - which, of course, makes me one happy chicken lady.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

And now, let there be peace

As Christmas approaches, it's fitting to say there is peace on the farm. It's been a long time coming.

Tranquility and calm has descended upon us. The lambs have all turned the "I'm going to live" corner. Little Grace has been bottle fed for weeks now, and is finally catching up with the others. We are currently weaning her from the bottle, slowly. She's gone from 3 full bottles a day, to 2 a day, and now getting 2 partial bottles a day. We are making our way to no bottles a day. It's going to take about 3 more weeks to get there, but progress abounds. Grace, Clara and LuLu are all healthy, happy lambs. Granted, LuLu does not like this cold weather. All in all, the lambs are growing up. I imagine that Belle and Eve will wean their still-nursing lambs within the next month. They are growing less tolerate of their lambs nursing, and the lambs are eating alfalfa, grain and grazing the pasture. Oh, my heart is happy beyond belief. Each time I drive down towards the house and see them all out grazing, I realize David's dream of a larger flock is coming true. Will there be more? I never thought I'd say it. But, yeah, just maybe there will be more lambs in our future. We survived - and they survived. I can't wait for Jerry, The Sheep Shearer to come this year and see our prizes. Our spoiled sheep have had spoiled lambs. I can see him rolling his eyes as I write this.
And Whisper! You'd be so proud of her. You've all gone down this scary road of will she - or won't she make it through this recovery period, and come out the other side with a successful surgery and healing process. No, I did not take her to the vet this week. Wait a second while I pat myself on the back. Okay, done. We were able to keep her from further escape(s) and harm. Really, I think she's just thrown in the towel, and quit fighting against us. But either way, we are all in a good place, together. And to add to this success, we have created a new area whereby the puppies are now blended with Whisper in a fenced area that allows them their own private access to a portion of the barn, that's exclusively theirs. Did it require David and I to move 13 10X6 pieces of fencing? Why, yes it did. Did it require us to cut another small door in the side of the barn? Check. So now when it rains, or is really cold, the new guard pups-in-training, and Whisper, together get to dictate when they want to come inside the barn. It's also a great way to bond them to Whisper, and get some training with her and what to bark at, staying up most of the night watching and learning to love and respect each other. The 3 of them are all able to eat their meals in a 10 X 10 area together without complete chaos. They eat calmly, and are mindful of each other. It's been a blessing to be able to have them all together - with access to a large, fenced outside area. They will be free to room the pasture in an estimated 3 months. We look forward to Whisper being healed by then, and the puppies ready to take a shot at being free in the pasture, under the guidance of Levi and Whisper, both. This whole process is an evolution. New guard pups, new leg for Whisper, new lambs and new beginnings and traditions on the farm. It takes time and work, but all this time and work invested pays huge dividends. It's like the stock market. It pays well over time, and we are still putting in our time. I can see the rewards coming, and it feels good to let go of some of the chaos, and enjoy the calm that's creeping in.
And since I wouldn't want to let things get too calm, I decided that maybe, just maybe I need an indoor animal. The sheriff had put all animals out of the house on my last crossing. I can't say as I blame him. It's a lot of work to keep the house clean with cats and dogs coming and going, with dirt, grass and hair flying everywhere. After all, it's really dirty outside. Chickens, donkeys, sheep along with rain, mud and dirt does not lend to a clean house.
So what might I want in the house? A really small tiny dog. Yep, that's what I want. An indoor animal. One that stays inside most all the time, with outside potty time, and then right back inside. Maybe can't qualify for this job, as she enjoys the life outside too much. Maybe enjoys her barn time, gravel road time, 355 time, and even her occasional trip down the road to the satellite tower, across the way, to see what's shaking down there. She's even been known to travel across the street to the pasture of cows, and get too close to the edge of their pond. She's all about getting dirty, and it does not bother her in the least.
After some research, I located puppies and dogs for sale around 3-5 lbs. OMGoodness, now that's how a house pet should be. We begin our journey of this online, and ended up at a tiny puppy/dog boutique and found our forever house animal. We adopted a 1 year old MaltiPoo who had gone unpurchased, and who also was looking for a forever home. There we were - together looking for each other. She's just over 5 lbs full grown, a white poodle-looking, curly haired girl with a Maltese curly tail. I'll take her! And we did. She's feisty, but fearful. Brave and afraid. Fan of females, and loves a life of luxury. David built her a little dog bed, with a special pink velour pillow of her own. She wears a sweater, and stands on her back legs like she's in the circus. She doesn't bark, but she does have a odd howl when left at the house, in her confined area when we are away or at work. David named her Sugar. She's sweet, and just like all of our animal population, we love her to bits. Each and everyone of them, brings pure joy.
Our cat community is not taken for granted. They all get along so well, and do a wonderful job of deterring mice, snakes and rats. We still have the occasional possum around, as there's not much that a cat can do to help that. But all our cats do a great job of tolerating, and mostly enjoying each others company. They each have their domain and territory. They are certainly the easiest of the animals to care for. But right up there with easy care, are the chickens. We are holding strong at 16 chickens. 2018 was a year of chicken highs and lows. Our chicken community is much like our cat community - everyone is getting along with no obvious meanies. Having our chickens settled, brings about lots of eggs, chicken-harmony and extermination of all bugs in the surrounding area of the barn, house and garage. And the donkeys have something new for the winter. We had their run-in shed modified. The south side is now covered, so that it's more like a barn for them now. We added rubber flooring in it, and it's now their Donkey Palace. They esp love it when we put their hay inside it. Almost like being indoors, and I must say, they have always been fans of the barn. And we have created a separate barn space of their very own.
So as I often do, I do a census of our population: Chickens: Ginger (RIP Butterscotch), Sunshine, Butter, Pebbles, Pepper, Peaches (RIP Cream), Callie, Goldie, The Twins, Veronica (RIP Penny), Storm (Cloud was a rooster, bye bye to a new home), Whitie, Blackie, CoCo and Frizzle. Donkeys: Mama and Papa. Cats: July, June Bug, Fi (May), Kitty, Sweet Pea, Finn, Smokey and Preston. Dogs: Levi, Whisper, Dixie, Davis, Maybe and Sugar (RIP Bridgette). Sheep: Eve, Grace, Clara, Belle and LuLu. Population: 37
It's interesting, because as a unit, their names don't really sound all that great. But if you knew them individually, most all of them fit their names. Or so I think they do. Cue the circus music. Because that's what it's like around here. The three rings are constantly changing their performers, and some are highlighted more than others. It's been an eventful 2018. One of love and loss. We are still ebbing and flowing around here, but for now, the dust has settled. We are all finding peace, comfort and our place where we belong. Myself included. It's taken me years to get here, as I thought this was only what other people did. All it took to get here was to step out of my box, and realize there's more to life - to my life. I've arrived. and oddly enough, I keep arriving.
Thanks for sharing 2018 with me, and 2019 will bring many things I could have never guessed or dreamt of. That's what happens each year - things I never would have imagined, happen. Like happy accidents. I have titled 2019 The Year of kNOw. Knowing what I'd like to do, where I'd like to go, and the ability to say No. I'm going to focus on knowing what feels right and good, listening to my intuition, and answer when it speaks to me. I've ignored it far too many times in life, but I'm on track now. If it takes turning 55 to find my inner voice, then it's about time to start listening to it. I'll stumble, and I'll fall. But getting back up feels so good.

Peace to you,

Cyndi




Sunday, December 9, 2018

Back to the Vet

I'm beginning to think the veterinarian's office should just make Whisper and I a "standing" weekly visit. After a week of watching Whisper struggle with her leg after the storm incident last Friday night, I decided another visit is necessary. For her, or for me? Yes.
Whisper is getting to be quite the expert at car riding. That's a bit exaggerated, but still, she's adjusting and no longer pants and drools from anxiety, my pasture dog. This time, I also put my little King Charles spaniel, Maybe, in the car with us for some extra company and comfort. Those two dogs despised each other for at least the first year. Whisper did not allow Maybe to come into the pasture, and after one altercation, Maybe had no desire to wander out there.....without us with her. I think Whisper thought she looked too much like a skunk. Look how far we've come! Maybe is in the car as Whisper's 'emotional companion'. Who knew that day would ever happen. So the three of us travel to the vet office, to again confess my inability to control and contain my guard dog so her leg can heal. 4 months is a long time to keep a guard dog penned up. That's just me whining.
Side note: I had a "first" happen, as when I let Whisper out of the car on her leash, we walked through the grass and she potty'd while she was leashed. What? She's a real dog now. And she's beginning to settle into a routine of moving about the property - and in life - (only) on a leash. Her wanderlust days are temporary suspended, and she's settling into the groove of a new routine. To translate: Our routine for her, to get this leg healed.
Back to the vet visit. So Maybe waits in the car while I head inside with Whisper. We are the last  patient of the day. Dr Murphy watches Whisper walk in, and is very curious why we are there again. I know she's wondering what the "story" is this time. "Well", I start out with, "you know the storm on Friday night?". That's all I had to say. Dr Murphy knows what storms can do to animals, and Whisper gets highly nervous and anxious when it thunders/lightening. The first thing she says is we'll need to get some medicine to help with that, so she won't hurt herself when the next storm comes. Perfect! Then, she begins to examine Whisper, who I'm convinced has completely messed up her leg (again). Dr Murphy is moving it back and forth, evaluating it completely. Touching her leg, pressing against the area with the plate and screws, all while Whisper just lays there like nothing is going on. Dr Murphy looks up at me and says, "Nope, she's just fine!". Everything looks good (again). And once again, God has shown mercy on Whisper - and me. With 2 escapes under this dog's belt, and to be "fine" both times is something I cannot wrap my brain around. God is Good. We are close to 1 month post op - and she's fine. 3 months to go. 3 more long months of confinement so her leg can heal. Along the way, we are to do physical training exercises with her. The journey continues. Don't get too comfortable, because just when I think everything is okay, Whisper has something up her sleeve. She's a smart cookie. More like obsessed with getting herself freed. It's a battle of wills around here.
I'm taking that good news and moving forward. Whisper is thriving and healing. And on top of that, all three lambs are growing up and thriving as well. Clara and Grace are coming up on 2 months old, and Little LuLu is 2 weeks behind them, although taller. LuLu is a tall lamb, as is her mama. And her little Baa is the sweetest. Clara and Grace enjoy Baa-ing, esp when they think there might be grain involved. I'm happy to say that we had these three lambs, and they are all three doing wonderful. For our first lambing event, it's been an absolute blessing. The thought that they will be weaning from their mama(s) is hard to imagine. Those lambs love their mamas.
The cold has set in, and the heated water buckets are beginning to be placed in their appropriate spots. The barn doors and windows are remaining shut more and more, to help keep the cold out. This is the hardest time of year for me. My heart hurts to think any of them might be cold. Even though they have fur coats on, and live outside as farm animals do, I still struggle a bit with it. I've gotten better about it. This year, due to the lambs, and Whisper's healing process, we did install 4 heating lamps in the barn. (The chickens love them). But overall, I think we have everybody settled and the things needed for everybody to brave the winter. The tack room is full of coastal and alfalfa hay, as there's just not a lot for the sheep or donkeys to eat in the pasture during the winter. There's some, but we do supplement with hay in the winter. Then, when spring arrives, the grass and forbs are abundant for them all, and they eat non stop. I don't think I ever expected to have lambs at the winter season. I don't really know when I expected to have them, but winter can be cruel to these little lambs. Lulu esp does not like that bitter north wind and low temps. She stays curled up on the dog bed, and Baa's for Belle to come back in the barn. Belle, of course, is out grazing as she's a good eater. I still can't believe all my lambs sleep on dog beds, but they do. Every night. I think that probably speaks volumes about the way we raise and keep our animals. I imagine it's not the norm, but then I figure Why Not? Why not love them how I desire to love them? I'm fortunate to have a husband who understands the way I show my love. My love language, for my farm animals, is lots of hugs (if they allow me to do so, and even if they don't allow me to do so), an abundance of nurturing, and care with their living conditions, oh, and treats. Yes, some might say far too many treats. The barn is certainly my place of choice to be. I'll make up just about any excuse to go out there, be out there, or stay out there for long periods of time. Winter is harder in regards to time in the barn, but I love it just the same. My cold tolerance is low. I will say, sometimes the animals might not want me to love them like I do, as their natural instincts don't lean towards hugs and petting (Ex: chickens, sheep), but as David has heard me say, far too many times to any one of them, "Let me love you". They tolerate me, as best as they can.
As 2019 approaches, I am excited about what a new year brings. It's always a good time to renew commitments to projects, look ahead for new adventures, and rethink what life is all about. The age old questions: is what I'm doing in life enough? do I want to be doing something else? am I a settler? And my answer always seems to boil down to one thing. Happiness. Because does life have to be about doing enough? Can it just be about enjoyment and contentment? There's a balance here somewhere, and ironically it seems the older I get, the closer I get to my own nirvana. Age + experience = wisdom. My own version of it, anyway.
As I watched the tribute to George H.W. Bush, I was touched by his list of advice for young people. I realized it wasn't a list he made for others, but what he lived by himself, and was merely passing it on. Have you seen it? It's simply amazing. Simple, yet amazingly poignant:

Don’t get down when your life takes a bad turn. Out of adversity comes challenge and often success.
Don’t blame others for your setbacks.
When things go well, always give credit to others.
Don’t talk all the time. Listen to your friends and mentors and learn from them.
Don’t brag about yourself. Let others point out your virtues, your strong points.
Give someone else a hand. When a friend is hurting show that friend you care.
Nobody likes an overbearing big shot.
As you succeed, be kind to people. Thank those who help you along the way.
Don’t be afraid to shed a tear when your heart is broken because a friend is hurting.
Say your prayers!
I thank him for these reminders. I need them. Cyndi





Monday, December 3, 2018

Good News

It's been over 2 weeks since Whisper's surgery. It's also been a couple of weeks now that we have been bottle feeding little lamb, Grace. "We" being the key term. David and/or I bottle feed her in the morning and evening, and our knight-in-shining-armor, Paul dutifully comes by every day at lunch, to make sure Grace gets her milk. He heats the water, mixes the formula and puts it into the bottle and faithfully delivers that bottle to Little Grace in the barn or pasture. She is the oldest of the lambs born recently, yet the smallest, although she is likely to catch up in size, with time. She got behind the curve when her mama, Eve decided not to let her nurse within a week of being born.
What is unique about Grace is her dedication to Eve, although she's not being nursed by her. Grace has to watch her twin (Clara) nurse from Eve, and when Grace attempts to do the same, Eve disallows it by either pushing her away, or merely walking off - over and over. Grace has no choice but to give up. This phenomenon of rejection is fascinating. Graces' attachment to Eve is strong, despite not being nursed by her. It took time to orient Grace to a bottle of milk vs her mama. Hunger took over - and Grace became so hungry, the bottle was readily accepted, with time and continual trying. Now, she wants a bottle all day every day. She cries and cries for it. Luckily, she is eating alfalfa and some grain, but even the fight for that is hard because she's the smallest. Sheep can be cruel, as they are greedy eaters. They enjoy eating so much, that there's a vaccine for sheep called CDT. It's for the treatment of enterotoxemia: the overeating disease. It's a combination vaccine for clostridial disease and tetanus, which is typically given by the age of 10 weeks. Basically, it's so they won't kill themselves by overeating. I don't know the details of "how" it all works, but know that we vaccinate our sheep yearly for it, and plan on vaccinating our lambs in a few weeks. If we choose to give Grace a bottle every time she cried and asked for it, we could essentially cause her death. So many times a day now, she's asking for milk, and since she's at an appropriate size and on a feeding schedule, we don't typically deviate from that. But yet, she cries her sweet cry. Hurts my heart, but we have to do what's in her best interest. Grace is thriving wonderfully, and follows me around the pasture asking for a bottle. I love having another lamb imprinted to me. Belle is such a kind soul, and I imagine once we wean Grace off of Eve, she will begin to be more independent.
As Grace grows, so do the other lambs. They are all so sweet, cute and playful. The three little girl lambs play and chase each other. They jump and run, chasing each other like children do. I can certainly see how people just have more and more lambs. I don't know if I'm going to be okay saying these will be my only lambs. Yeah, I know I've already said that. I enjoy them so much, that I may have to have more. Sam The Ram, I continue to thank you for these gifts of sweet babies.
As time goes on, Eve, Grace and Clara remain a tight unit - as does Belle and LuLu. The 5 are a true flock. They roam together and all get along very well. It's magical watching them in the pasture, as they are such kind and innocent farm animals. They are not mischievous like (cute!) goats, or messy like (cute!) pigs, and I mean those things in the nicest way. But sheep are docile and quaint. They are unable to protect themselves from predators, and rely on others for their safety. Their Baa's are soft and delicate. I never knew sheep were so gentle. I am fortunate to witness it every day.
** Side Note: I must interject that the donkeys are empirically and surprising gentle and kind, too. And when I type that, it leads me to say: so are the chickens, the dogs, the barn cats........Our Farm Community is kind.
Sometimes when life gives you this equilibrium, it feels so good to live it, and be in that moment of really feeling it. What the animals give me, makes me want to give back even more. I know the animals can feel the love, as I can certainly feel theirs. This weekend, we had the opportunity to share some of the animals with family and friends. My sister and her fabulous family came by, and friends as well. My sister's grandchildren are all so wonderfully loving and sweet. I would love to have them over every weekend! We love having people drop by. David and I are the first to say that Hosting is a talent, and we are still learning and figuring out the secret(s) to it. Each of us always wishes the other was Fabulous Host/Hostess Extraordinaire. We bop along when it comes to entertaining, and really enjoy the experience of family and friends. It's such a odd feeling to say we feel so insecure at hosting, because aren't we old enough to be good at it yet? Other people make it look so easy. Despite our insecurities, we are always happy when people come over.
Speaking of happy, I was so happy to meet Kaitlyn, her husband and sweet young son. Her son was so brave. He was all-in! Donkeys, no problem. No fear. He was engaged, and embraced each moment. My favorite think about him? His patience, that's what I really noticed. What a attribute to have in life. Patience - its's key to everything we do. And he has that, at such a young age. He was taking it all in, in stride.
I love watching all the children, and the choices they make. It's almost as if I can see the neurons firing in their brain, as the young ones process what's happening around them. There's so much to learn. Where do the chickens live? What do they eat? You mean it's okay to hold one? The donkeys are so big. Why does the barn smell like this? And it just doesn't stop. I derive such affectionate amusement from it all. Their words, their faces, and their smiles. Precious. Thanks, Kaitlyn for bringing your family by the farm.
Whisper, Whisper, Whisper. I must tell you that we got the most fabulous news this past week. The surgeon took X-rays, and found that Whisper's leg looked very good. Her plate and screws are still in proper alignment on her leg, and she's on track in regards to her recovery. She got her stitches out, and her incision looks great and has healed without a glitch. Considering her escape on Day 1, this is unbelievable. What I have found in life is this: Good news! Yay, and oh-so-wonderful! We moved past fill-in-the-blank, now onto the next good and positive step. Right? Good news means more good news, or at least that's how I was feeling and exactly how I felt. How could anything go wrong now?  Whisper's going to be just fine! 'The worst thing that could happen' is behind us now. Insert record scratch. 2 days after receiving this good news, things took a turn.
It all started (this past) Friday night. Whisper was in her secured fenced area, all was well. As a review, she's not allowed to be off leash (or free to roam) for 4 months during this recovery. Keeping her contained has been one of the most difficult things we've encountered on the farm. Her instinct to guard, and be in the pasture is greater than any pain she feels. So what happened was, David and I get everyone in the barn settled, as we do each night. Then, we do something unusual, we head back out for my work Holiday Party. Yep, we are going out on a Friday night. Who are we? I digress. What did not pass the forefront of my mind was that a storm was coming. Whisper hates storms. She's "that dog" that freaks out with thunder and lightening. Not rain, but the loud bangs and lightening. That's all good and fine, if she can go to her usual hiding spot, but in her pen, she's stuck. I'll make this quick and painless: Storm comes, Whisper is mortified, flustered, and so agitated and stressed by it that she pushed with her body (and I mean pushes) her pen a couple of feet over, that allows her access to sneak under an area about the size of 1 foot by 1 foot. And that she did.
I still don't know how she moved that pen. Desperation? Probably. Fight of flight response? Yeah, that too. Whisper not only moved a heavy a$$ welded pen, but she moved a portion of the pen over an area that had a drop down, so she could crawl underneath and escape. While this was going on, I was completely oblivious, and had not even considered this could even happen in my wildest dreams.
When the party's over, we drive home, and while coming down the gravel drive we notice there are two guard dogs in the pasture. Not just Levi. Who is that other dog, I thought?! I thought I was dreaming, or maybe a neighbor dog decided to drop by? And then, it hit me: How did Whisper get out!? Did I leave the gate unlocked? No, Whisper used her super powers to move something I can hardly move. And she's a dog. With a hurt leg.
I quickly run out to the pasture and get her back in the barn on a leash. But it's too late. I can already see her leg seems different. I knew then, that this event tonight might have been that final hurrah for her leg. If I ever thought it was Escape # 1 to mess her leg up, how wrong I was. It was actually Escape #2 that might have done the most damage. There was not supposed to be a Escape #2. It never crossed my mind whatsoever. Remember, I had the Good News, that everything was fine. The vet said so. I had her in luxury accommodations, with everything she needed. Not everything, obviously.
Back to square one. I'm mad at myself for underestimating her desire, her passion and her need to escape. This is not a regular dog. There's no compliance, no cooperation. It's like she fakes it, till she makes it out. As if Whisper says, "I'll be right here". Not.
I can't be sure all is not well with her leg. It's a feeling I have. I watch her try to walk on it, and it's different now. Time will be the teller of it all. Only time will tell me the answer this time. If I asked to take her back up to the Vet for X-rays again, they will send doggie CPS out for me. Lady, why can't you keep your dog contained during a 4 month recovery period? But sir, you don't understand. I don't even understand how she's doing these things. I'm telling you - super powers. If Whisper was a super hero, she'd be Captain Houdini.
Back to my point from above. The good news I received was short lived, but I was convinced that once I got that good news, it would be smooth sailing, as I had everything under control and would make it a few more months now, protecting her from herself. No, that was all a delusion. Reality gave me a wake up call. Wish I hadn't answered that call.
I guess if your a dog, it's not considered self-sabotage. In a human, yes. Dog, no. Whisper knows not that she needs to be kenneled for her protection and recovery. She is back in her appointed safe place, forcibly and reluctantly. Just waiting for that right moment again to escape. Until the next storm, upon which I may have to put her beside my bed. I have a feeling she'll be under the bed. And that's okay. At least in the house she only drools and pants with anxiety.
And things were looking so good. This time, I'll have to "wait it out" to figure out what's next. Poo. Just when the good news came. It's crushing to see her so willing to hurt herself further, that it's hard to wrap my mind around this dilemma. And if she gets even a remote chance, I know she'll take it.
I'm going to keep at this,
Cyndi




Saturday, November 17, 2018

The Good, The Bad, and The Unfortunate

These last couple of weeks have flown by. And I'm happy to say that the lambing and births were a success. Yes, there were some ups and downs, some questions of whether things were going to be okay - or not. Overall, I'll consider it a wonderful 1st time lambing success.
I left off with Belle having her lamb, Lulu. Lulu looks exactly like Belle! She's going to be tall, like her mama. Lulu has nursed well from Belle, and is growing at a normal pace. All the lambs will continue to nurse until almost 3 months old. Lulu is nibbling at the alfalfa hay, and sleeping (at night) on one of the dog beds in the sheep pen regularly. She's begun playing with the other lambs, and is joyous and happy. Her unfavorite thing is the really cold weather. We had 3-4 nights straight of 20 degree nights. Lulu is not a fan. I'm so proud of her, and I don't really know why. I just am. She's been a breeze to handle, observing her growth, and be an independent lamb. Belle turned out to be an amazing mama, and continues to love and nurture Lulu. They are quite the team! And maybe Belle still looks pregnant, but that's our Belle. She loves her grain, and will still drink out of the bottle that's intended for Grace.
Speaking of Grace, she was first born of Eve's twins, and seemed the sturdiest at first glance, and that first day. That lasted for about a day or two, maybe. We saw it coming, that Eve would not be the best mama to Grace, as she favored Clara instead. Clara was small and petite at birth, and despite our first impression, has far surpassed Grace in size. Eve allowed Clara to nurse often and well. Granted, Eve only has one udder of milk, but it's a huge udder full of plenty of milk for both lambs. But as sheep do, they tend to "kick off" a lamb, and favor another. Clara was the chosen one, while Grace begin to slowly starve, if she was to be left alone to only get milk from Eve. Starvation in lambs is one of the two major reasons lambs die. The sheep mamas will turn away their own lamb baby(s) and it's hard to watch. So sad. But it's part of raising sheep, and a good shepherd/shepherdess will watch for these signs. Management of the lambing process is critical to the success of the lambs. And we did start supplementing Grace soon after we saw what was occurring. But as instinct tells them, Grace wanted her mama's milk, and would shun the bottle. But hunger and time changed all that. Grace slowly begin to take the bottle more, and learned that we were her source of milk. Her bottle milk has become a main-stay for her, and she's supplementing from Eve whenever she can get a quick drink from her mama. Which is not often. Therefore, we needed to enlist someone to come give Grace a bottle at lunchtime. Insert awesome Paul and Angela. They are friends who also live in Gunter, and come daily to feed Grace at lunchtime. What a blessing. They offer Grace a bottle during the day while we are at work. This holds Grace over, until we come home. Grace is now up to 1, sometimes 1 1/2 bottles in the morning, 1/2 bottle at lunch, and then another 1-1 1/2 bottles again in the evening. Finally, she has perked up! She's been out playing with the other lambs now. She's significantly smaller than Clara and Lulu, as she's had a rough go of it with being pushed away by Eve. But she is thriving well now, and will catch up in size eventually. She's the oldest, yet so much smaller, that you'd think she was much younger. Just the fact that she's going to survive is magical. All 3 lambs will be okay, and considering we have been bouncing along this lamb journey, we are thrilled beyond words. Angela and Paul may not realize it completely, but they are key. Key in offering Grace what she needs when we are not there. Thank you, Paul, for taking time out of every day to nurture one who now sees you as their "mama".
As I breathe a big sign of relief for the safety and security of the lambs future, I would deflate in a different area. Whisper. Awwwhhh, sweet livestock-guard-dog-never-known-any-other-life-dog-of-ours. Whisper had her surgery this past Tuesday. Successful TPLO with screws, plate and such. I brought her home Wednesday evening with a incision 8 inches long down her back left leg. Her back story is that she "came with the house". Her brother, Levi, and herself had been brought to the farm as Great Pyrenees pups, and when we bought the house, they were part of the deal. Best deal ever, by the way. They are livestock guard dogs like no other, except Whisper struggled with her back leg and a torn cruciate ligament. It's hard to run like that, and the pain was beginning to affect her appetite, and her lifestyle. It was hard to watch, as she takes her job seriously and continues to guard no matter what. She's Super Dog. So we had a couple of options: let her go lame, put her down, or surgery. Wow, none of those were remotely good. So, surgery it is. But there was no one there to tell me you can't take the guard out of the guard dog. It would be a hard lesson learned.
David and I had dotted the i's and crossed the t's. Her place was ready for her, after surgery. We had a brand new clean dog bed (infection control), rubber flooring placed so she wouldn't slide with her legs on the tile/wood floors, and a chain link fence gate secured strongly, across the large area she would reside for months in the laundry room. Inside. Yes, we were ready. Little did we know that Whisper wasn't. Sure, we knew it would be hard, she would adjust, right? She would be hurting from the pain and lay low. The Vet demanded/highly recommended she be place in the house, and contained there. "The barn would be too dirty, too much temptation and stress, as she would not be able to do her usual job of guarding", we were told. You ready for this? No running for 4-6 months. Confinement. Okay, then, we are ALL IN. Mentally and physically we had prepared and looked forward to helping her get better. We thought we had it all under control. Uh, no.
Whisper does not walk on a leash. She has only lived in the pasture and barn. That's all she knows, and that's who she is. That's where she's happy. Period. The End. She desires no other life. Getting her to and from the vet for surgery was arduous and wearisome. She's never really been out of the pasture, as her shots from the vet have always been with Farm Visits from the vet. Now, she's in a car, on a leash, and in a house, all with 24-48 hours. She's stressed, panting, slobbering, and whining uncontrollably. We do everything we can to console her along this journey. She's inconsolable. All she wants is her brother and the pasture. So we do the opposite after surgery, and bring her in the house where it's warm, comfortable and pain meds are flowing like a foundation. She'll adjust, right? Uh, no. After hard work, begging, prompting and physical work, Whisper is placed in her appointed Recovery Area, whereby she'll reside for at least 2-3 months, minimum. There are puppy pads for pottying purposes, a bed for comfort, and rubber mats so not to slip and hurt herself and what the doctor has repaired.
1st night in the Recovery Area went splendid. Wow, she's not that happy, but she's doing "okay". The next day arrives and it's Day 1 in the Recovery Area. 5 hours later, while we are at work, she's dug out of the chain link fence we had secured well. The base of the fence held fine, but Whisper literally tore part the chain link part. I have no idea how this can happen, as it's a manufactured product that holds in many peoples pets in this universe. Not Whisper. With blood below it, she fought that fence hard, and she won. I've never seen anything like it. I had been watching her on the security camera I set up near her, (off and on during the day) and notice she's escaped. How did I miss that?! I immediately leave work, fly home in my car, and pull down the drive. Yep. There she is. Back in the pasture, down by the pond with her brother Levi. I see how happy she is. I'm swirling in emotions at this point. Mad, sad, upset, disappointed I can't even keep a dog locked up, if I wanted to. I'm so mad at myself for letting this happen. Out of the car and into the house to pull myself together and make a plan. I'll leave the details out, but within about 10 minutes, I have her back in the barn in a caged area, Recovery Area #2, I'll call it. Another chain linked fence 10X10. I'll save you time and tell you that it didn't take long for her to pull apart that fence. Her desire is far greater than the pain she experiences doing that. But this time, I was there. David begin putting together some fencing that is welded, and again, we make her Recovery Area #3. Welded fencing. How can she get out of that? She can't. Eventually, she relinquishes her Will. It's not going to be "her" Will be done.
Big sigh. The question is now, did she mess her leg up? She wasn't touching it on the ground when she was out. The better question is, how could she NOT have messed it up? I feel so responsible that I'm beside myself. What should I do? Pray. And I do just that all week. I pray and pray that God will show mercy on Whisper - and me, and allow her leg to heal. According to the Vet now, time will tell. They will X-ray it again when she gets her stitches out. The waiting begins.
For now, she's in the barn, in a welded fenced area and everything they told us not to do - we've done. Dayummm. I'm a nurse, how could I do everything wrong. Everything. Just typing this is painful. And quite frankly, her leg looks pretty good. She did some toe touching on it today. She's eating wonderfully and taking all her medication. She's tolerating the Recovery Area #3. And, despite the fact that she mutilated her Cone of Shame on Day 1, she is leaving her incision alone, and it looks good. Bright side, I suppose.
Sometimes things we touch in life, turn to gold. In this particular case, not so much. I will use my arsenal of Hope and Faith to pull through this. They are the goldfish in the glass fishbowl, as I like to coin it. Hope and Faith. Swimming around in my heart and head. They are two things in life that are nonnegotiable. First and foremost, trust in God, then it's Hope and Faith that sees me through. And pray. No matter what, I know that it is in God's hands, and that in itself brings me all the comfort I need. And you know I'll keep you posted.

It will be okay. I'm throwing that out to the universe. It will be okay.

Cyndi



Saturday, November 3, 2018

Belle's Turn

It seems only hours after my last post, that Belle gave birth. Soon ended up being real soon. It was deja vu at it's best. I was driving down the gravel drive to the house, and I do a double-take, with thinking I saw 3 lambs, instead of 2. One lamb was with Belle. I slow down in the car, and carefully count. Yep, three lambs! Eve and her twins, and Belle with one. I drive up just enough to jump out of the car, and go investigate. I run out to where Belle is and realize she has indeed had this lamb. I touch the lamb, and she's dry. That means Belle had to have her earlier in the day. Then, those same thoughts begin: Where did she have her lamb, is there more, is she done, did she have another lamb and leave it somewhere, is everyone okay? So many questions. I walk around, looking to make sure there is not another lamb, and checking to see where she had her lamb. It seems these lambs just drop from the sky while I'm at work. No evidence anywhere, that Belle had her lamb in the pasture or in the barn. So my next thought is: will Belle be having another lamb? If the one she's had is already dry, I doubt it. I had predicted triplets for Belle, because she was quite large. But, I've mentioned it before, Belle's just a big girl, and she's my girl.
The little lamb beside Belle is trying to nurse. I know the best thing for them is to get them in the lambing stall in the barn. That way, I can isolate them so they can bond, nurse and be safe. I did this with Eve and the twins for about 3-4 days, to let the lambs get strong enough to venture out. So in order to get Belle in the barn, I pick up the lamb, and carry her slowly towards the barn. Belle follows me crying out for her baby. I make it to the lambing stall, and have no trouble getting them settled there. I do the usual food of grain and alfalfa, lots of water, along with straw in which to snuggle in. I turn the heat lamp on for the lamb. This is the critical first 24 hours. The first critical item is to name her, of course. LuLu it is. LuLu The Lamb. I must watch LuLu to make sure she nurses and gets that first milk from Belle. But uh oh. Belle's udders are not hardly filled at all. Not anything close to how Eve's were. LuLu does nurse on Belle, and I've read in my Raising Sheep book, that sometimes the milk does not come in until after the ewe gives birth. Well, Belle has til in the morning to get some milk in those udders, or else we will be bottle feeding this one. How appropriate that is, since Belle was a bottle baby from literally Day 1. I'll give her a little time in the lambing stall to settle in, and keep watch closely.
At this point, Eve's twins are about 12 days old. They are still nursing on one udder. Clara is nursing the most, with Grace getting the leftovers. We have already been offering them bottles, as we wanted to make sure if they are hungry, that they have another option. Thus far, they have not taken more than a few sips of the bottle. That's a good sign, as they are, at this point, getting the milk they need. But that will be short lived.
All evening, David and I watch LuLu and Belle. Eventually, Belle and LuLu begin their bonding rituals using their sheep language. It's different than Eve's, but effective just the same. I know that Belle will only be having this one lamb, as too much time has elapsed for another one to appear. LuLu is nursing, and although I'm unsure of the amount and frequency, I know that in the morning I can monitor this further. I am happy to report that Belle's udders the following morning have grown substantially, and she is working hard at nursing LuLu. They are a match made in heaven. Belle's headdress is exactly the same as LuLu's. LuLu looks exactly like Belle did when she was a baby. (LuLu's marking are different than Clara and Grace's.) She is a carbon copy of Belle. Belle's mini-her. Thank you, Sam. I owe you big, my friend. You have given us the gifts that we had only dreamt of.
As Belle and LuLu take up residence in the lambing stall, Eve and the twins share the area of the barn beside them. Just as Belle did, while she waited for Eve to be released. The tables are now turned. Eve is just busy trying to keep up with her lambs, eat enough, nurse them and live her life. Belle is doing the same, just 12 days behind Eve.
Belle is very laid back. She doesn't get too frazzled by much. Her and LuLu are now on day 4 in the lambing stall and I let them out today to venture out into the world together. Belle was very happy to be free, but she watched her baby close. And so did Eve. Eve did not like Belle's new lamb. I don't think I would have guessed that, but it's true. Eve would try to head butt her, and LuLu was scared out of her mind. She's just a few days old, and someone is chasing her. This will take time to acclimate them all together. It will all be okay, once everyone gets to know everyone better. Baby steps with the introductions.
In the meantime, while all this has been going on, Little Grace is noticeably lagging behind. She's not as playful as Clara, and is just a touch smaller. David watched Clara and Grace, off and on on Friday when he had the day off work, and was able to assess that Grace would need more aggressive supplementing. Eve was not allowing her to nurse as much as Clara, and Clara was the more aggressive nurser. I came home from work that day, and we fixed a bottle (like we had offered them before), but this time Grace drank enough to make us realize that she's very hungry. By the next morning, she drank a whole bottle, and it's only been a short time for us to supplement her nursing with a bottle, but she knows she wants it. All good news. Dr Shelton had mentioned that supplementation might be needed when it comes to Eve's twins and one udder. And we are ready and willing to do that. Who wouldn't want to give a bottle to a willing participant of a cuddly cute baby lamb. Baby animals are adorable, but getting to bond with them in this way, and have them imprint to you will last a lifetime. Already, our sweet Grace sees me walking toward her, and baa's in that little tiny voice of hers, asking for her bottle. It doesn't take long, as these little one's instinct kicks in strong. Need milk, must have milk, who has the milk.
Along with this fun of lambing, we've begun to let the puppies out and roam the pasture with Levi and Whisper. Levi and Whisper are setting the tone for whose the boss. Davis and Dixie (also brother and sister) are our two trainees. Duke was given to a family friend, who also raises sheep and chickens, except they do not have any guard dogs, so they are struggling to keep their livestock away from predators. When they were over recently, we were having this conversation and it seemed natural to give them one of our suburb puppies to help them with their farm. Duke will be a perfect guard for them, and we are happy for them all.
Davis and Duke are beginning to acclimate to the world outside of their safe, fenced area. They feel secure there, and go back to "their little home" sometimes, while out investigating. But, they love being out smelling, playing, watching, and basically checking everything out. They smell literally everything, and have the freedom to look around. They watch Levi and Whisper, not knowing that one day, that will be them. Whisper goes in for surgery in a week, and she will be housed in the lambing shed for about a week, before she will reside in a 10X10 fenced area to recover. (Belle and LuLu should be out of that area by then). The recovery time for Whisper will be 2-3 months of staying still, no running, and letting her leg heal. She'll be having a TPLO (tibial plateau leveling osteotomy). Whisper will have an incision down the length of her back left leg, will have her cruciate ligament fixed, and she'll have a screw placed to hold it in the proper position while it all heals. It's similar to an ACL surgery in a human. The recovery time is lengthy, and it's imperative that she does not run, and only rest, heal and recuperate for 8-12 weeks. As a guard dog whose used to running and "working", this will be a challenge. We've positioned her to have the ability to be beside (with a chain link fence between) her partner and brother, Levi. He will still be working, and will have the pups to keep him occupied. This will be a very trying time for everyone, but we will get through it. Whisper is at the point where she is not weight bearing on that hurt leg, so it has to be fixed. There is no other option. She's still young enough to be able to heal from this, and then an evaluation will be done on whether she can work again, or not. Only time will give us this answer. Dr Shelton says Yes, and he seems to always be right. So that's good news, esp for a dog who wants to work. But we will give Whisper the option, and will see what serves her, too. Having her caged could be one of the most difficult things we've had to do with one of our animals. I'm thinking since she'll be hurting and healing, that will keep her at bay.
The next week will bring it's own set of challenges with incorporating Belle and LuLu along with Eve, Clara and Grace. It seems like this would be an easy task, right? Oh, but contraire. They are both ewe's who have just had lambs, why the contention? Why can't we all just get along? I think if I wouldn't be such a helicopter Shepherdess, then I might not even know it happens, under normal conditions with most every flock. And they probably just work it out among themselves. Dang, that's hard to do, but I promise I will try to let nature teach them how to all get along.
As this next chapter evolves, Grace will continue to be bottle supplemented, and we will watch the others for the same need. Cold weather is coming, the holidays will arrive, and life just keeps getting better all the time. If it wasn't for David wanting to have lambs so badly, I would have been content in life to have my little flock of ewes, just like they were. But my eyes have been opened to a whole new world now.

I've learned so much these last 16 days. Lambing is not easy. There's so many things to consider, to watch for, to be ready for and then it keeps going, evolving and a very fluid process. Who knew? Not me. But now I know. My biggest take-away thus far? Management. It's all about managing what's happening, what's about to happen, and making things happen. Lamb management. Is there a class for that somewhere, because I would go. Or I should have gone. Yes, I have watched my share of YouTubes on it, but they usually just scare me. So I quit watching them. And now I'm bouncing along trying to keep everybody alive. Did I mention I don't know what I'm doing? I've learned so much, and I know there will more learning ahead. It's not done. It's just starting.

Hanging on for this ride and loving it,

Cyndi

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Lambing 101

As Day 11 approaches for Grace and Clara's little lamb life, a lot has happened. I left off where Eve had her sweet twins, and settled in for the night. I will say that a big part of the reason David and I  are both "worried" about the lambs is mainly because we struggled to get Belle through her first 2 weeks of life, getting her to feed with a bottle, and felt the responsibility of her life on our shoulders. Now, with two lambs at once, we were relieved that Eve was such a good mama to them.
Then, it happened. We noticed it the following day after the twins were born. The twins were only able to get milk out of one of Eve's udders/nipples. It became more and more profound, and the twins were fighting for one teat. I googled how to help this situation, but quickly realized I would need Dr Shelton to come check things out. And he did. Dr Shelton came back to the farm and evaluated Eve. He said, sure enough, that Eve was likely to only be able to give milk from one teat. He catheterized the "bad" teat, he gave antibiotics, he gave her a steroid shot (to be given again for two more days as well). But the udder would not produce milk. It was swollen by now, hard to the touch, and painful. Likely mastitis, or a nonfunctioning udder. This began making it harder for the lambs to suckle, because they would accidentally knock or hit the "bad" udder when they were nursing, and it would cause Eve to move away from her lambs due to the pain. The lambs would run towards her, still wanting to be fed. Dr Shelton had told us we were likely to have to bottle feed or supplement Eve's milk with bottles. He did shed some light onto the situation by saying that the one remaining udder/teat may start developing more milk. Only time would tell. It never did, so the twins would be left to nurse off of one teat and one udder of milk.
Grace and Clara were still doing well, acclimating to their surroundings. At Day 4, we let them move around on their own free will. Out of the barn, into the pasture if they wanted. They could always go back into the barn anytime. Our guard dogs, Levi and Whisper immediately took to protecting the lambs. They did not want any other dogs, chicken or such to get close. What good LGD's they are. The lambs were drinking from the only milk available, and sharing the teat/udder. Dr Shelton had warned us to watch for Eve to "kick one of the lambs off" because sheep will do that, esp with her current udder situation. But Eve kept on, letting both her babies nurse and take turns.
I did make a trip to The Dollar Store, because they have everything and it's close, and bought a couple of baby bottles. I dropped by the feed store to buy Lamb Milk Replacer. It's just like baby formula, but for lambs. I was set to begin the process of acclimating the lambs to the possibility of taking a bottle, in addition to nursing. Dr Shelton says when they get hungry enough, they will take the bottle, and that Eve will ultimately not be able to keep up with the lambs nutritional needs. It's only a matter of time, really. Good news? The lambs will most likely start nibbling alfalfa, grains and grass earlier than usual, due to this situation.
Day 6 arrives, and I go to the barn to check on everyone. Grace and Clara are thriving, and each day I'm pleasantly surprised. I have begun offering them a bottle morning and evening. Today is no different, and they reject it at first each time. But Clara will normally take a ounce or two, as Grace gets a taste and nurses while Clara takes the bottle. They both continue to nurse during the day on Eve, and nibble on whatever their mama nibbles on. They literally do whatever she does. They never get far from her, and the three of them talk to each other constantly. Sheep language is interesting. You can tell by their tone what they are saying. I'm lost! I need to be snuggled. I'm hungry. Where did you go? Night night. It's all very sweet.
This will be Eve's only lambing. Her udder malfunction is the #1 reason for culling. When a ewe cannot nurse appropriately, they typically should not lamb again. It's too risky. In the real sheep world, she would be sent to the freezer. But we are certainly far from that. So she will enjoy her life with her two babies, by her side, in the pasture for as long as she desires. They will wean with time, and in no hurry.
As the days pass, Eve and her lambs venture out further and further. The other day, they were down at the pond. I was so worried they might fall in the pond. What if!? Or it might be too far of a walk for those little lambs. Not to worry, they are doing real lambs things. When we compare them to Belle at that age, she didn't have a mama, and lived in the house with a diaper on. She stood on the dishwasher while I loaded it, she marched around the house in her little high heels (their hooves are thick and tall from the beginning of life), and she imprinted with David and I as her caregivers. She did not eat grain, grass or hay, even if we offered it. After all, we were not eating it. Only bottles. And she asked for them all the time. It wasn't until we bought Belle a couple of lambs friends, that she figured out she was to go out into the pasture and graze. It was quite a shock to her, but she did it. She learned how to be more sheep-like. But even today, she would rather be around us, very much like a dog would.
These new lambs will be nothing like that. They have eyes only for Eve. They are tough and thriving well. It's fun watching them grow up so differently. I certainly have learned a lot! And with that said, along comes Belle, following right behind Eve in the lambing department. Belle has grown significantly over the last week or so. Her udders are slowly growing, and it's hard to comprehend she will have babies too. We weren't sure, for so long, if she was pregnant. It's only been in the last week that we are seeing the real signs. The same ones we saw with Eve. Isolating themselves, nesting, resting more, seemingly uncomfortable, actually eating less. The last month of their 5 month pregnancy is when it all shows up. I somehow seem convinced she's going to have triplets. I just do. If I'm wrong, that's okay. After all, we've only picked out names for twins, so far. I picked out Poppy, and Lauren picked out LuLu. Granted, this is all assuming they will be girls, and it will be "they". Sam has done a fabulous job of helping us grow our flock. He's onto helping another family now, and will do the very same thing there. He sure throws pretty babies.
We saw Belle nesting in the barn area we made for Eve to give birth in. It's like she knows that's where she's supposed to be. She will have her day there. I don't know if it will be as smooth for Belle, as it was for Eve. Labor and delivery with no problems are certainly a blessing and it was not taken for granted. We hope the same is true for Belle, when the time comes. Maybe Eve and Belle talk about it in their sheep language.
The one thing I have failed to mention is their relationship. Throughout Eve's delivery and raising of the lambs, has been her best friend, Belle. They have been side by side through this. Belle would sit by the fenced area in the barn when Eve and the lambs were isolated for the first few days. She waited patiently. Eve has allowed her to be as close to her lambs as Belle desires to be. There is no competition. Just love between them.
As we wait and watch, living our life in fascination of these animals, I feel overly blessed at times that I have been entrusted to be their caretakers. I've read many blogs and sites on the internet of people just like us. Doing this hobby farm thing because it's what we love to do. Unsure, learning, hoping, guessing and loving every minute. To be outside, with no other people around and do exactly as you wish with no judgement. Only love and trust from the animals all around. It's my place in life. The one place that is therapeutic and peaceful. Literally, no other place I would rather be. Barn Sweet Barn.

Eve continues to amaze us with her motherly skills. She's doing a great job, and we love watching the new lambs grow and learn. I hurry home so fast after work these days. I can't wait to see everyone and how they are doing. And how everyone is doing. Speaking of, Whisper has surgery scheduled for 11/13 for her leg.  She will be out of commission for 2-4 months recovering. The new LGD puppies will step up to the plate and be Levi's side kicks. That will be a circus in itself. Things continue to evolve and change. Everything is the same, yet nothing is the same. Another lambing event is coming......SOON. Belle will have her turn.

Soon.

Cyndi




Wednesday, October 24, 2018

As The Farm Turns

We ebb. We flow. The farm has seen many changes over the last couple of years. We've loved many and we've lost some. It took me a long time to understand and truly accept the losses, and that it would continue to happen, as it is the nature of having farm animals. Along with heartache, there is light. And the light is shining brightly at our little farm.
We received a gift of two lambs from Eve, one of our ewes, last Thursday evening. This extra special event represents our first birthing on the farm. We did receive Belle when she was a 1 day old lamb, and we bottle fed her around the clock. But this is the first time we have bred and birthed onsite. Sam The Ram is the lamb(s) daddy, and Eve is an amazing lamb mama. This is all despite the fact I have no idea what I'm doing. It happened, and everyone seems to be okay. Actually, more than okay. Eve and her new twins, Grace and Clara are bonding, thriving and blending in with all that is around them.
It all started well over a week ago now. Eve's udders were noticeably filling, and she was moving about less and less. She was getting bigger and bigger as the days passed. Dr Shelton made a farm visit to see how she was doing, and said, "She will be lambing soon." Soon. When is soon? No one knew. Just soon. Soon became Thursday. It was a regular Thursday at first. I came home from work, made my way from the garage carrying my usual purse, lunch box, cups, bags and all the things I feel the necessity to carry around with me. Into the house I go, not even noticing. I piddle around in the house a short while, and head out the door to go check on everyone - it's what I do every day. It's my favorite thing to do every day. As I walk out the door and glance into the front pasture, I see it. Eve with a baby lamb whose just beginning to stand. She's trying to stand up and nurse. OMGoodness! Where's my phone?! What's happening? I walk frantically to the fence, and Eve seems like she's not sure what's happening either. There's her new lamb, who I immediately name Grace, and she's trying to stand and nurse. I look around thinking 'where did she have this baby?' But I don't see anywhere that looks like it's the spot. So I move forward in my thinking, and wonder what to do next. Oh yes, take a picture and send it to David and Lauren. Soon is here. It's now.
Now, back to where did she have the baby lamb? She didn't have her in the barn. Why not? There is no why. There she is, right out in the pasture, a baby lamb less than 1 hour old. She was still wet with the sac, and still being licked by Eve to uncover her, dry her and stimulate her. Lucky for me, Eve had not needed assistance lambing, and had done a wonderful job of birthing her. Now, what to do next. Take another picture. It also seemed everyone else in the pasture was unsure what to do. They were standing around watching. Not moving. Then, I realized the need to get Eve in the barn, like a lightening bolt had hit me. My once paralyzed self leapt into action. I go into the pasture, and pick up the baby lamb and walk slowly towards the barn. The lamb is wet, but doing well. She's alert, hungry and from my inexperienced eyes, okay. A short jaunt to the barn, and I finagle Eve and Grace into their allotted place in a pen. For now. I will need to tweet this a little more after David gets home, and we can move a piece of fencing around. No biggie there. We happen to be the experts at temporary fencing. That's going to be my next profession: Fence Mover who specializes in Movement of Temporary Fencing. Every piece of my temporary fencing has been all over this acreage.
So, I now have Eve and Baby Grace in the barn, isolated from the elements - and other animals. Eve is as unsure of what to do - as I am. What I don't notice at the time, is she's having contractions. When I look back on the video I took that evening, I can see it. But at the time, I was clueless. I'll call myself Clueless #1. Luckily Clueless #2 (that's David) came home from work, and the two of us tried to figure out what to do next. Good thing we did not have a Lambing Emergency. And just 10 minutes after I mentioned that I think Eve might have another lamb, of which David said there's no way another one could be fitting inside her, Eve popped out another lamb. Lamb #2 glided out like she was on a Slip N' Slide. Remember those? There we are, knocked in the face with a frying pan.....again. What the heck. This time, Eve is tired. Get a towel! David grabs a towel, and runs over to wipe lamb #2's sac off her nose and mouth. Lamb #2 cries. She's alive! I'm so surprised. Too many YouTube videos. But this time, David wipes her wet sac from her little body to help dry her and warm her up. Eve is still standing there, and lamb #1, Grace, is trying to nurse. It's not going exactly as planned. Oh wait, we didn't have a plan because we didn't know what we're doing. And now somehow, everyone is alive and well. Literally, within 20-30 minutes of Lamb #2's life, she's trying to stand and nurse, too. What a miracle. I do the next thing I know to do. I name her. Lamb #2 will be Clara. Grace and Clara are healthy lambs who want milk. Eve is trying her best, but she's tired. The lamb's must get the mama's milk within 24 hours, the colostrum, that contains the antibodies that will be important for their existence, and provide them the energy they need to protect them from the cold. I then wonder if I need to stay out in the barn all night to make sure the lambs nurse and get what they need. If not, we will need to supplement it from a bottle. As we watch Eve and the lambs, we quickly realize that Eve's natural motherly instance kicks in. She's nursing them, and calling to them with noises I have never heard her make before. Grace and Clara answer back with their sweet, soft baa's. They are communicating in their Sheep language. I can hear her say, I love you to them. Stay near, she says. And that it will be okay. That's me saying that last part.
David and I are almost exhausted, too. That was a emotional experience. We stand and watch Eve, and realize that she's going to be a great mama. She took over, and we stepped away. It was then that David and I finalized their pen with the temporary fencing, where they would stay for 3-4 days to bond and be safe. We set up a warming lamp, made sure there was plenty of water and food for Eve in their pen, and knew we needed to give her some time with her lambs. Things were going very well.
We did some final cleanup of things, and allowed the rest of the animals in the barn since we had their pen set up now. It would now be time to rest. We did stay and watch her for a short while. We may or may not have checked on Eve, Grace and Clara a couple more times late into the night. But all was well. We knew with multiple births, that we had to watch for rejection of one of the lambs by Eve. It happens a lot with sheep. Eve was nurturing them both so well from the beginning, that the worry faded away, and would continue to as the next days were to come.
As I lay in bed that night, I was so excited about the thought of awakening in the morning to run out to the barn and see how everybody was! Like Christmas morning when you are 6 years old. But better. I was giddy, ecstatic and full of love for the gift of two lambs. If Sam only knew.

Farm Animal Population: 35. Not anymore though, it's been skyrocketing lately, and now we are sitting at 37. Sheep: Eve, Clara, Grace, Belle; Chickens: Whitie, Blackie, Coco, Frizzle (new silkies), Ginger (1st chicken we ever had!), Butter, Sunshine, Pebbles, Pepper, Peaches, Veronica, the Twins, Callie, Storm, Goldie; Barn CatLand: Kitty, Fi (i.e. May), June, July, Sweet Pea, Preston, Finn, Blackie (stray who has taken up residence), Smoky; Dogs: Levi, Whisper, Dixie, Davis, Duke, Maybe and visiting resident, Tula (technically not counted in the population); Donkeys: Mama and Papa.

While the population does ebb and flow, it's a very fluid and ever changing environment when living on a farm. It is my wildest dream. All these gifts are granted, and I am most grateful for them all. Our new additions of Grace and Clara will bring new experiences to share. We never stop learning. We are thankful for the safety of Eve and her new twin lambs. They all made it though just fine, despite the fact Clueless #1 and #2 were their cheerleaders for the lambing event. Nature pulled through for us all.

We've had a few bumps in the road the last few days with Eve nursing and providing milk. The lambs are doing well though.......that's for next time.

Cyndi





Thursday, October 18, 2018

Had To Happen

Back in Feb of this year, is when we brought Sam The Ram to our farm. He was born in December 2017, and was 3 months old when we transported his little self to Gunter. He joined Belle and Eve wonderfully. He's very similar to them, as all three are tame sheep, and either bottle baby lambs (Belle and Sam), or a triplet who required additional handling, due to the necessity to be supplemented with a bottle, as the fight for milk from her mama wasn't an easy task, with two other siblings (Eve). The three sheep blended well together.
Time moved on, and Sam grew into a true ram. He has horns to prove it. He's given us a potential new lamb with Eve (dependent on how the lambing event goes). And in the usual nature of a ram, he became very protective of his girls. His head butting began at around 5-6 months, and both David and I could handle him well. He mostly used this technique with people, to let them know he's in charge. He would sometimes began butting one of the dogs, playfully, but they put a quick end to it, as he is submissive to Levi and Whisper., Guard Dogs Extraordinairies. As each day passed, and months went by, the butting and battering (as I've heard it call) became scary. He's now a huge ram, with horns that sting, and the weight of a Sumo wrestler that knocks you over with one blow. Now, Sam and David have the same type of bond Belle and I do. Sam and David are imprinted, and he actually comes running when David calls his name. Sam wags his tail when he's petted, and his favorite rub spots are on his chest and under his neck. Petting him through fence, you would think he would never hurt a soul.
Sam does not bite, nor does he show aggression to any animal on the farm. Just to people. He's certainly not safe around kids, and David has had to start distracting him by petting him or feeding him, so that I can go in the pasture. Otherwise, when he sees me go into the pasture, he runs straight for me - to show me whose Boss. He is, so he says with his head butting and battering. For being such a huge ram, he's a surprisingly fast runner! I love that about him, he really is cute when he's running.
A wonderful solution David came up with is something I've always wanted - but with a twist. He got a bell for Sam, and placed it on a dog collar around his neck, so that we will always know where he is in the pasture, and how close he is to us. My original dream was of a Bellwether. A wether with a bell around his neck. Okay, so I have a ram with a bell around his neck, to warn me of impending danger. Not my original dream. But close. I'll take it. This has been a blessing. I can always have a warning bell now, when going out to the pasture, or while in the pasture. I can hear Sam coming, I can be ready for him.
This was magical for quite a while. The problem was, Sam was getting bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger, and his aggressive nature became a impediment to doing just about anything in the pasture. And as you can imagine, there's plenty to do in the pasture from mowing, picking up dog bowls, feeding/watering, and just going out to enjoy everyone in the pasture. That was now against the Law of Sam. It's just so odd. Sam is sweet, kind and loving. He loves to be loved. He wants to be petted. He baa's constantly to have someone come over and pet him. But the second you stop petting, he butts. He allows us to brush him readily, but it's almost like he can't control the natural instincts to butt and protect the ewes around him, even though he knows us. It's like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I don't really even though who they are, but the concept applies here. Sam is kissing and loving on you one minute, then BAM, he's crushed your knee with his horns. Now, a ram can seriously hurt you. I began reading about this in other blogs and sheep sites. Rams are dangerous, they can be aggressive, they want to be the dominant one - even over people. Granted, not all of them, but many of them. I did have this understanding when we decided to get a ram, but with the range-of-danger they present, I felt like Sam wasn't going to be "one of those". Ah, but I was wrong.
Silly me. Living in a world of denial. I swim in that river often, De Nile. I had to face the facts, Sam was "that" ram. Now what? Okay, let's put him in a different pasture. Let's cage him. Let's. Let's. Let's. Part of all these Let's was......let's sell him, let's take him to the meat plant. So many let's. Finally, I decided I can't take him to a meat plant. Granted, he is still considered a lamb, and his meat would be delicious. No, I don't think I can follow through with that. So, I decided he's happiest if he's with ewes and doing his thing. On another farm.
To sum it up, I sold him. I sold him to a man in OK City who has 10 ewes and would like lambs. Sam's their man. Sam can do that - just ask Eve. And just like that, this man is at our farm, picking up Sam in a horse trailer to drive for hours back to his new ewes. Sam loaded up in the trailer with ease. A little grain is all he needs, and waa-laa, he's in a trailer heading to Oklahoma. I kissed him GoodBye and told him to Be Good! Then, I explained in great detail the need to be safe around Sam, to his new owner. Please, I begged him, you must be careful. I left his bell on him, as the man is going to need it. I kept saying over and over.....he will hurt you if you are not careful. I hope he heard me. I hope he heeds my words. Yet, I have a feeling Sam will be immediately placed in a pasture in Oklahoma and left with the other sheep. He won't be coddled, brushed and rubbed. He's going to have to transition to the real sheep world. No more gravy-train Graves Farm. He's about to meet The Real Deal. He'll be 1 year old in December. He's got this.
Sam would have a long trip to his new home in a horse trailer. As they drove down the gravel drive back to the main road, I knew I had done the right thing, and wished him only the best with his new harem of ewes. After all, Eve is his witness. Eve will give us Sam's lambs soon. Sam will always be our first ram, our first boy crush, and forever in my memory and heart. I know he will love being in charge of a flock, as he's built for that and will mange it nicely. Go Sam Go. I have been thinking of you often this past week, wondering what your doing, if they let you in from the rain, or if it even matters now. The bell around your neck is ringing in my heart. My Sweet Sam.

You will live on here at The Graves Farm, as your babies will arrive soon. Be still my heart.

Cyndi

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Barn Therapy

Back in the swing of life on the farm is comforting and theraputic. There’s so many new things happening! I’ll start with the chickens. We have certainly had our ups and downs with our chicken flock, but have seemed to find a happy place with the number of 15. We tend to swing in 'number of chickens' from 12-18 these days. Sometimes, we accidentally get a rooster, then minus one. That just happened (again), and luckily a friend wanted him, this time. Her/His name was Cloud, a beautiful light ombre grey chicken. She/He came with a recent intake of the 8 chickens we purchased from the Old Wild West chicken farm in Oklahoma. Supposedly we had all ladies. But no. One rooster snuck in, and we did not know it for a couple of months, as it takes time to really know whose a girl vs boy when it comes to chickens. Then all of a sudden, she was cock-a-doodle-doo-ing. You know the rules around here, Sheriff says "No Roosters" on the premises. And away he went this past weekend. His best friend, Storm was left wondering what happened to Cloud? Storm was the same chicken breed, but a darker ombre grey, hence more fitting for the name Storm. So far, she's still a girl in our eyes. It's a interesting phenomenon how chickens are in a flock all together, but 'pair' up with a chicken that looks like them, and typically their same breed. After all these years of having chickens, that still fascinates me. Anyway, Storm/Cloud is now broken up, and Storm remains with us, while Cloud is heading to a farm in Lowry Crossing to be his real rooster self. Storm continues to stay with the flock with her "other" half now obviously missing.
Chicken Math, it's great. The ebb and flow of our flock is always fascinating. We seem to always be counting and recounting. Recently, I made one of my better chicken purchases! On CraigsList (not sure why I was looking for chickens there, but they DO have lots of farm animals for sale), I found the deal of a century. Four silkie hens for $40.00. They are 6 months old and just starting to lay the smallest, cutest eggs you've ever seen. Silkies = chickens, like Yorkie's = dogs. Small, super cute, strong personality, packed full of punch and pizzazz. Yes, I got four of those sweeties! A white one, grey one (bonus - technically a Frizzle! Google that), a brown one, and a black one. They have been raised together and do everything together. OMGoodness, love them! It's as if they are somehow invisibly attached, roaming the yard in a tight knit group. And the best part is my existing Ladies welcomed them freely, so +4. Boom. I'm still trying to come up with names for these cuties. Right now, we call them The Little Girls. They all give me an egg most every day.
We have had another new grouping of animals join the farm. I surprised David a couple of weeks ago with a new Anatolian/Great Pyrenees livestock guard puppy. David has been asking and talking about getting a new guard dog puppy, who our existing guard dogs would train, for the farm. Our two Great Pyrenees, Levi and Whisper (brother and sister) are the best-est and most awesome guard dogs! Lately though, Whisper has begun to limp on her back left leg, and over the last 2 months it has worsened. We had taken Whisper to the Vet (which was a event in itself, since she's never left the farm) when she first started limping, and the Vet said she has arthritis, and not much will help her. But now, it's much worse, and so back to the Vet we go. We decided on a Surgery Work-Up including more extensive X-rays and evaluation, to see if any surgery might be available to help her live a better life. If it's a hip replacement, or whatever is needed, she's still young enough to live a full life without this pain she's having. What this means in the grand scheme of things is that she cannot guard like she used to. At least not in her current condition. And if this continues, we would need to train a replacement, and take her out of working the pasture. We have decided we need to bring Whisper into the inter sanctum (kind of like our front yard), as we call it, whereby she can relax and not have the compulsion to "work". She's not able to run like she used to, and she knows that. I'm not really sure how she's going to do with that scenario, but a change has to be in her best interest. To sum it up, a new Great Pyrenees/Anatolian puppy was now a necessity. I ended up bringing home a new LGD puppy, as a love gift to David: A boy puppy that David would name Davis, in memory of his recently deceased mother, as that's her maiden name. He's a handsome 8 week old puppy whose parents guard for sheep and goats, and they are big dogs. He will be the same. But that same night, David asked if there were more puppies available. Yes, I tell him. She still has 5 girls and 1 boy puppy left. David asked for 2 more puppies! WHAT? Is one puppy not enough? "Another boy", David says, "and then how about pick out one from the remaining girls". And so I did. After work the next day, I trek back to the same farm to pick up two more puppies. The two brothers and sister are now reunited at the Graves Farm. David's own puppy-dog eyes talked me into 3 puppies total. They are beautiful dogs, and will be large and in charge once trained by Levi. The process with take at least a year, but we will get there. This is all in an effort to relieve Whisper of some of her duties, and hopefully we can manage her pain. Her pain stops even her, from her natural instincts. So we will see where all this puppy business takes us. Right now? We are in puppy heaven, soaking up the joy of their love and loyalty. The other names for the boy and girl? Since they are his puppies, David ended up naming them all. The girl: Dixie. The second brother/boy: Duke. Our new puppies Davis, Dixie and Duke will be the next generation of LGD (Livestock Guard Dogs) that will guard our sheep, chickens and barn cats. And we thank them all every day.
We have one last addition to the group to introduce. Not yet born, but in Eve's belly, is a lamb. We now know for sure Eve is pregnant, and are pretty sure Belle is not. Belle has always been shy and sheltered. We have raised her as our own baby since she was one day old, feeding her a bottle around the clock. We are imprinted on one another. This is not to say she can't get pregnant, after all, Sam did his job with producing a lamb with Eve. But Belle is Belle. She's not your normal sheep. (This is what all mom's say, right? But my child is different. Special). Yep, that's Belle. If she's also pregnant, she's behind Eve timewise, so I guess time will really tell that tale. Now Eve is obviously with lamb. The thing is, I don't know when she's due. It takes 5 months for gestation with sheep/lambs. I guess we will find out with time. Eve is doing well, and lets us love her, and pet her more than ever. She's going to be a good mama. Thank you Sam, for giving us the opportunity to have baby lamb(s). I'm going to cry that day, for sure. A new lamb born in our barn will be a joyous occasion. Eve is the last/youngest of triplets, so can you imagine how hard I'm going to cry if she has more than one baby. I have chicken skin right now just thinking about it. Goose bumps bubble all over me at the thought of "the day". The day we have a lamb born here. I'm that 12 year old girl again.
God is good, and continues to bless us. We love and adore all our farm animals. They each have their own distinct personality and add a wonderful dimension to our little hobby farm. We have a lot of work to do in regards to training three new LGD puppies into adults that will do an amazing job. Granted, David nor I have done that before. We also have research and learning to do in regards to lambing. Shepherdess Cyndi has things to figure out. But then again, everything here from chickens to donkeys have been new at some point, and we do our best to keep everyone healthy, happy and safe.

I'll keep you posted,
Cyndi

I've already named the baby lamb Grace. Hope Eve has a girl! And just like everything in life, I probably have no idea of really what's to come.







Friday, October 5, 2018

10 Things I learned at Ironman Chattanooga




  1. These people are my people. Everyone around me craves adventure, challenges, and pushing ourselves to a place of fascination and discomfort, all at the same time. We are all thinking the same thing, feeling the same feelings, having the same recurring thoughts (did I train enough, do enough, etc), and vibrating on the same universe level. We are focused, nervous, excited, and have the need to be around each other, even if we remain quiet. We crave the incessant logistics, and actually welcome the uncertainty of the “big” day. What will happen on race day? It’s an intriguing and grueling option in life, that even I don’t always understand. But the other racers do, and we silently go about our preparations as one big spiraling, ball of chaotic energy trying to reach the finish line. The closer we get to that Finish Line, the tighter our bond gets. 
  2. Unpredictability is the name of the game. No race is really like the last one. There’s different external conditions/locations, weather fluctuations, personal feelings, training preparations, and body condition. In the case this weekend, the flooding in Tennessee has been so extreme that the Tennessee River was no longer safe to swim in. The swim portion of the race was cancelled, and racers were disappointed. Considering we were told the E coli levels were dangerous in the water, and the current would sweep you away, it was best. This is after months of swim training that everyone did. The early mornings at the pool, the endless laps, and the anticipation of what the swim might be like, vanished. And, there’s also the unpredictability of things like flat tires on the bike portion, malfunctions (all-of-a-sudden) from your once-reliable bike. The hydration and nutrition plans that go awry in a flash. Esp on the run, when you need it the most. It’s almost as if you must prepare for the unexpected. A full day of swimming, biking and running has to be planned, practiced and mastered. It can be done, and we can all do it. It’s just a matter of “is that your passion”? Anytime I participate in an activity that generates a large amount of unpredictability, it makes it even more of a challenge. Esp a mental challenge. Our body is a machine, we can all train it to go the distance. But our mind? What's a whole other aspect of racing. If a situation becomes unpredictable, mental strength has to be greater than your physical strength. My mantra for those extreme unpredictable moments? "Be calm. Stay calm. Stay in the moment. You can't think if you panic. So stay calm, Cyndi."  And my favorite? "It's going to be okay". I say it even when I know it's not going to be okay, and then.......stay calm.
  3. The famous question: Why? The most common question asked. But why do you do it? And why do it? Most people would rather give their big toe, or take a sharp object to their eye, than compete in a endurance race that saps vast amounts of time from life. I had many people I met during the race, tell me that's the most common question they get. Why? And then even the racers would ask each other, how do you answer that? It seems we all came to the same conclusion: Because. There is no definitive Why. It's like asking why does the sun shine? Why do the clouds look like marshmallows? Why is there starvation in the world? So many questions in life remain unanswered. This will likely remain one of them. Why did you participate in the Ironman, and want to do it again? There is no Why. 
  4. Surprisingly so, food played a much larger role in this endeavor than I realized. I typically bounce along in life eating what sounds good, what hopefully is good for my body, and then eat sugary things because I just love it so much. What I learned about food this time around is, that if you give in to food your body is not used to at a critical time, it can upset the apple cart. It took one wrong food choice Day 1 of my arrival in Chattanooga to realize that I need to tow the line on food until after the race. I had been training on particular food sources, that when I stepped out of that box, my body said, "Not a good idea". I quickly realigned myself until after the race. I had fallen into that trap of eating comfort foods over and over, and adjusted my body so much, that when let my guard down, I paid a hefty price. As much as I'm a fan of non-attachment to food, I had been on autopilot so long with my training foods, (which always made me feel energetic and good), that it was a wake up call to see the effect it had on my body, when I choose otherwise. Noted. 
  5. There's no place like home. Vacations are great, hotels are nice, eating out is new and different, but really, I like being home. So the hotel I stayed at was great, comfortable and convenient. I really have no complaints whatsoever, except that it's not home. You know how this goes, you find your new routines on vacation, new sights, new smells, new people. It's wonderful for a period of time, them home beckons. I came back home with a new outlook, which brings me to :
  6. I found I did this race for me. That's what I learned when I arrived back home. I could feel it as I was training, moving inward and being happy in the process of it all. It was a personal journey that fed my soul. The more I fed my soul, the less I felt the need for others to feed into it. I have found a level of satisfaction during this Ironman journey, unlike any other. I didn't feel the need to talk about it when I went back to work after the race. The internal satisfaction was beyond my own understanding. It was all about moving through the training and race - with me, myself and I. I also learned that a big part of the reason I felt this way was the natural and unconditional support I received from my family. They watched and supported me throughout the process without question or resistance. And I am most grateful for their undying love and devotion to allow me to be me. This time, the fan fair and celebration all bubbled deep inside my soul. Inside me, not outside. 
  7. I found comfort in the discomfort. Who knew I would ever think that discomfort meant to keep going. One foot in front of the other. Don't stop. Keep moving. Don't stop. Keep moving. It was a natural mantra that played over and over. A record I could not turn off. I found the discomfort wonderfully calming, as that meant I was getting there. It's all a part of this process. It's the one thing that is expected, and it will happen. It's a guarantee. It's about taking a deep breathe and resetting yourself. When I looked around, there was discomfort everywhere, as everyone around me felt it, too. There are varying degrees, but we are all in this together. Regular people like me there at the race are all feeling this same way. It's not all sunshine and unicorns. But the Finish Line will allow all the discomfort to fade away, and bring about the exhilaration and smile that remains.
  8. It's not about having a snazzy bike. I love my bike! I've spent many hours alone on it, covering many miles. Her name is Lil Blue, and she's a Quintana Roo who is a tri bike I happen to adore. She's not snazzy, she's just-right. A fancy-pants bike is not necessary. I've passed many a biker who might look like a pro, but looks can't get me to the finish line. High dollar equipment can shave minutes off your time, but I've found a good training plan, dedication, consistency, maybe a training coach and most importantly - a good bike fit will be key to success. When you and your bike fit like a glove, you move well on it. Biking becomes easier, less injuries occur, and enjoyment of the sport improves. A reliable tri bike shop can fit you to your bike. It makes a world of difference. 
  9. What you build from training will last for months. Now I love this one. It's a great feeling to think you can bust out a century bike ride, go run a marathon or decide to swim around the Island of Key West -because you can.That's the wonderful part of pushing yourself to your personal edge. The payoff is not just finishing the race, but being able to walk out your front door and go. Go far. 
  10. Anything is possible. Ordinary people can do extraordinary things. It doesn't have to be about swimming, biking or running. Climbing mountains, crossing the desert or getting to the moon. I mean day to day things in life. We can do whatever it is we desire, and we have the freedom to do so. It still amazes me that it's so easy for me to be able to do the things I'd like to do. Living in a free land, that allows a endless amount of options for people to chose from is priceless. God is ever present, and comes along for the ride every time. Right there with me. The peace and serenity that brings, along with the faith and trust in every step I take, no matter where I am, is what sees me through it all. I love this feeling of "I can do anything!". 
This particular journey was different than all the rest. Mindfulness and enjoyment were my best friends. During the long bike and runs, calm set in. I smiled more than I ever had in my previous trainings for Ironman races. It flowed well. My sweet husband, David and supportive daughter, Lolo supported me every step of the way. I'll carry the journey of this race in my pocket forever. 
I'm back home with my tribe. I'm blending back into normal life and it feels so good. The people I met during these last 6 months have been fascinating. I think about them, and what they do every day. People living their lives, the way they want. Pushing me to keep going, and be the best in my endeavors. I can take a step back now and reflect. My soul is settled, my heart is happy and onto other things out there waiting for me. The window of life is open wide, and I'm busy looking out that window deciding where and what I'll do next. For now, home. It's about going to work and coming home. The farm animals need me, my love and my touch. I want that as much as they do. Probably more.

Proud to have Ironman #6 under my belt, with more lessons learned that ever imagined. 
Cyndi