All Of The Above

 

Fur Real

So this happened even though I did not take any photos at the time. This past Saturday, I got a text:

It was from Danielle, Baby's 'previous owner' for 5 years. Asking if "they" can come over and see Baby. 

Sure, I say. And they do. Within a couple of hours, Danielle and her mom, Shelly (the real owner of Baby) arrive with their friend Shirly. I'm still trying to figure out who is who, so let me explain. As I get text(s) from all three of these nice folks. Esp Shirly, on the regular. They are usually checking in on Baby. 

Shelly - actual previous owner of Baby who had this huge pig, thinking it was a pot belly pig, living IN HER HOUSE. And yes, feeding her "pizza and food from Market Street" (her words). She would tell me that Baby destroyed her house. Broke windows, ate baseboards, pushed through doors, and rooted her whole back yard up. Baby's "bed" was in their laundry room and just in case you are not aware, pigs can be very protective of their sleeping/bedding space and therefore, for a long time, they could not go in their laundry room because Baby would "come at them". Yes, I say, I understand that as Baby regularly comes at me when I get too close to her own space. (Maggie on the other hand, is a very non-aggressive and docile piggie, so she really doesn't do that). But wow, Baby will come at you and try and bite with no questions asked. 

Shelly informed me that her son had brought Baby home from their ranch and told her it was a pot belly pig. When Shelly saw Maggie, and I told her she was a pot belly pig, that was when Shelly realized Baby was not that. Then, Shelly confessed that she thought all along that her son had brought her a wild boar baby pig he had found on their ranch, and they actually bottle fed Baby for a full year, in their home. 

Maybe she’s just a different breed
that I don’t know about 🤷‍♀️

Shelly does not walk well as she's having knee surgery soon, and was supposed to have had surgery already. She was a little sad that Baby did not "remember" her as she would have liked, as Baby was "coming at them" and trying to bite them, and not really up to having company that day (or any day, really). I just watched the show.

Danielle - daughter of Shelly who arrived with a 11 month old son, Jay, in tow. Danielle is very familiar with Baby, as she's Shelly's daughter. She, too was a little sad that Baby was not just running up to them and saying Hi. Baby tolerated them, but was just living a pig-life and looking for food as pigs do. Shelly and Danielle tried real hard to show Baby who they were, but Baby just wanted the collard greens and romaine lettuce they had brought. 

Brooks waiting patiently with his fishing
pole and tackle box

Shirly - friend of Shelly and Danielle and the impetus for finding Baby a new home. She, too has 7 acres and has rescue and farm animals as I do and loves her life as I love mine. We bonded, as she and I have texted many days just talking and sending photos of our farm animals. It took me awhile to really figure out who she was and what relation she has to Baby. Turns out, it was her husband who brought Baby out to me on that fateful night. Ohhhhh, got it. They are really nice folks and watching the 3 of these women chitty chat together on my farm, and explain to me ALL about Baby was quite the treat. I loved their support and love for one another. It really was a fun experience. Shirly texted me later that day and sent me this:

Same same girl

Which I thought was hilarious because I had a ticket to that exact event, too. 😉

This is how I make new friends. Shirly is now a texting friend of mine. She's my age, has similar interests and loves to share her farm animals and their stories. Shirly is the real deal. She texts me like she's always known me and I love that about her. She has chickens, horses, goats, etc and I bet you are still asking yourself.....how did these people find me?

Well, we have a mutual friend named Shannon, who is both of our farriers (feet trimmer) for our horses. And Shannon was just trying to help Shelly find a new home for Baby. And she did. Me. It's all tied up in a pretty bow now. And I have a new friend. And a new pig - or is she really a true pig. We'll never know for sure. But if you google Boar, you'll find a picture that looks like Baby. It's neither here nor there now, as Baby will surly live out her life here. Pigs are herd animals, so it's nice that Maggie and Baby have each other and they have really come to tolerate each other well. Baby is 5 going on 6 years old, and she's not a young thing. Good news is she's lost about 10 lbs thus far and her previous family were all surprised to see how wonderful she looked and not just that, but how well she gets around. And a realization that she's not a pot belly pig and that maybe they were joshed into thinking she was for a long time, and they now had the chance to say 'they knew it all along'. And the truth will set you free. They are now free of the creature that was tearing up their house and yard. And did I mention.....I have a new texting friend.

In that same arena

In Feburary, my two little goats who are not little anymore, will turn 1 year old. 

Eating too much chicken food

The one thing I know for sure is that living on a farm there's always something going side-ways and needs re-adjusting. It's part of the gig.

This time, it was the goats. They are eating as much chicken food as they possible can and 1) costing me extra $$ in chicken feed, and 2) getting too big too fast. Goats and sheep can die from overeating. There's even a vaccination for it, search it up. And since I know this, I needed to take action.

So what to do. Somehow place the chicken food out of their domain? That's hard, as goats are tricky, crafty and good at getting to what they want. Although I may try to separate out my chicken food in a manner that only my chickens can get to, that's for another day and time.

On this particular day, I knew I needed to get my 2 little goats, Coco and Pearl secured where I can feed them and that they can be safe and warm - and contained from the chicken food. 

I know, I'll expand my pig pen and get them their own shelter in there and they can live with Maggie and Baby. You know what? That's working out wonderfully. The visitors who came to see Baby were actually concerned for the goats safety, but I let them know that the goats: 1) have their own sleeping space and 2) have access to get up higher than Baby can get to. So all is well in the land of Pigs and Goats.

Pearl sleeping 💤 

They truly are little kids 🥰

I always seem to have extra fencing around and since I'm a Certified Expert Fence Mover according to my daughter, I was able to expand the pig area and then place all the goat's play toys that used to be Brooks play toys that he does not use and waa-laa, everyone is happy. 

There’s quite a bit of room for 2 goats and 2 piggies,
burn pile in progress too

It's really important this time of year that all animals have a place of shelter, warmth from any cold rain, and out of the north wind. So far, this arrangement seems to be working well. And everyone is being fed an appropriate amount so the goats and pigs can be healthier which should make them happier. It makes me happier anyways. This will work for now, because ultimately, I'd like to place them out back in the back pasture with the sheep. With time. I need to have them be a little older, first. 

Coco is the sweetest goat ever ❤️

All is right with the world 

A New Run Buddy

To set the tone, I just want to let you know I was not okay with this when it first started happening. Yet, I've come to set parameters around it all for the safety of everyone. 

Oddly, once David moved out earlier last year, I noticed that Penny has decided to never leave me unattended. She begin to whine when I was out of range from her (a fence separating us) and she began to take note of where and what I was doing.....more and more.

Then, when I would go out for a run, she would find a way to go with me. No matter how quiet I was or which way I would go, she would find me. Nothing would deter her. I kept taking her back home and putting her back in the pasture yet to no avail. Finally, time after time I realized that the only way I ever  leave the property without her going - is to drive. And this means that I would have to drive up the road and park my truck to go run. 

Unless....I run the back roads on a particular route and then she can come with me. A route that's Penny-Safe. Safe for her and safe for others. 

Penny stays close

This girl will go 8 - 10 miles with me. And the little dogs , too, but they also have the cart to jump in when they want to rest and ride. 

Everyone okay? Let’s go!

What I didn't realize would happen is that when a car would be coming to go by us, Penny will come when I call her or she would already be by my side as I move to the side of the road for the car to pass. She's so obedient and loyal that having her there, esp on my night runs, makes me feel very secure.  

I would have never thought - or guessed - that this type of scenario would exist. It's not a great idea for her to be out with me without a leash. Not because she's going to hurt someone, but I don't take my dogs out unleashed in general. What I've noticed is that on the route she is allowed to go with me on, the "loose" dogs have come to know her (they already knew me as I run out there regularly). There's many non-aggressive dogs that are not fenced that come to the road when I run by. I pet many of them, and they know me. Now, they are getting to know Penny. Penny is not interested in barking at them or bothering with them, as she senses their non-aggression. That's what I love about her. Gentle and kind until a predator comes around. Then, she's all-in. Sweet Penny. My new running buddy. Only on approved routes. 

The downside is....for now....for me to leave and run without her, I drive up the way. Silly, right. But it works for now. Maybe Penny will settle down about me leaving on foot. For now, she's a runner, part-time. 

The Little Dog Pack

As Baby adjusts to life out here, so does Char.

The Little’s ☮️

Charlotte is settling into life out here with her 2 pals, Maybe and Sugar. She's showing who she is more and more. Her little personality reminds me of a cartoon character. She's mischievous, curious and has exaggerated and vivid emotions. Her myriad facial expressions, head tilts and body gestures make me laugh. She loves to steal things esp Olive's pacifiers or Brooks toys. She's not one to always tear things up, but grab and run for play rather than destruction. She loves pets from those she trust, and is a avid lover of a ride in the car. She's still not a fan of new people, here or anywhere, but I can see the slow improvement as she barks just a little less. Her reaction to new people is over the top and she's sure they are going to hurt her. She's absolutely certain of that. Both her and Sugar, being rescue/adopted dogs, are extra special as they love hard with those they trust. It's a lifetime of learning for them. They've been mistreated in a previous life such that this new life is an opportunity to become the wonderful pups they always were - and are. The path is long, yet the rewards are great. 

Char’s little ears 

Char’s not a big pup, yet she makes Sugar
look so tiny

I've see this same progress with Hope, one of my mini horses who was terribly mis-treated in her former life. Even with Paul The Turkey. All the animals that were gifted to me with an uncertain past are my most precious gifts. The irony in it all is that as they grow, I grow. They have shown me that we all need safety, love and shelter. I learned to apply that to my own life thanks to my furry and feathered farm friends, as they show me resilience, over and over. And why it took me so long to understand that I deserve to feel safe in love is a wound I'm healing from. The word love for me was mis-understood. Turns out it doesn't have to be bad, hard or difficult. Love is pure. And the best way for me to experience true love is not through humans but through the eyes of my animals. They are showing me the way. To think I can be in another relationship is me walking all my $hit right back into it again. I have so much work to do on myself before I can even consider being close to another human again. I find myself keeping others who are interested.....at an arms length away. I need to work on myself and learn how to set and keep boundaries of what I will and will not tolerate in my life. I even recently wrote a letter to myself. It's a long one, but here's a excerpt:

A Letter to Me

Dear Cyndi,

You have learned to exercise a muscle you didn't know you had. For years, you have been many things and being an over-understander was one of those things. You tried to understand where everyone was coming from. You made excuses. You thought it was your responsibility to accommodate and that things would change. And you just did not know how to set boundaries - and keep them. You were too busy thinking you caused other people's emotions and how they treated you was because of you. 

You have learned so much, with so much more to learn. You're setting boundaries and keeping them. You understand that people's behavior can be a reflection of their past, and sometimes have nothing to do with you. And that you are not the creator of other people's emotional state. You have learned what you will and will not tolerate in your life. You're learning to stop over-considering why someone might do something and are instead asking yourself, "Is this a situation where I am betraying myself?" And if it does, my responsibility is to take care of me. Not to try harder to be loved, accepted or appreciated. You are realizing your own responsibility is not to decode other people's behavior. Instead, you are learning to trust yourself, your knowing and follow your heart. Not someone else's heart. 

You are learning to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, poor decisions and not listening to your knowing - even when it was screaming at you from inside your core. You are understanding that there's work to do on you. To forgive yourself, to look toward emotional growth, and not let your yesterdays control your tomorrows. 

Your understanding that being able to sit with yourself, even in the dark of night and feel the hurt and pain and then get up and move forward is actually the best therapy for you. And learn how to be better and do better and keep at it as it's a life-long thing, girl. And that you don't need someone by your side to achieve that. You are awesome as you are. 

Keep growing. Plant more seeds. Stay true to you......always remember that. And yes, you’re all over the place right now with your feelings. Let it be. It’s part of the process, Sweet Pea. 

This is merely a portion of my letter to me. One that I add to at times. One that helps remind me that it's not what others do, but what I do, that is most important. 

My Fam

And what's very important in my life is the family who lives in my home. Lauren, Ryan, Brooks and Olive. As Lauren and I work on past repairs, and learn how to communicate better and more effectively, we know there's so much potential there. There's alot of failing forward. Esp since I'm learning how to express myself in a more healthy way than I used to. I often find myself acknowledging to Lauren that I don't know all the answers. That I'm not perfect in my actions. That I'm a growth-in-progress and will be for my remaining days. And yet she still loves me for me. And I for her. We have so much catching up to do. So much growing we can do together. I have re-parenting for myself - and for her - that's necessary. It's been hard to realize all the work that needs to be done. It can be overwhelming and I just take it day to day. To be able to have the self-awareness of this is hard yet is the best gift I can give myself. The origin wounds (thank you, Vienna Pharaon for writing The Origins of You) we carry into adulthood, that we then carry into relationships can be wonderful - or toxic - or both. This book is one I read over and over, hoping that I can one day soak in all the goodness that Vienna provides. 

And during this first holiday season that I find myself single, I also find myself looking for all the goodness. No funny-business. Just goodness, purity, and love.

#farmboy

It's days like this that I see God's grace. In these moments are exactly when I'm actually finding myself being in the moment. I find myself mesmerized by a 3 years olds ability to be in the moment and not worrying about what's next. Yet instead, what's right now. And I feel that deeply. 

Road House (to go) in the bed of the truck
Nothing better, my friends 

So as we had a picnic in the back of the truck after getting feed for the animals, I feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face and wonder......is this the warmth of God? the warmth of what love feels like? the warmth of the human experience? Or all of the above. All of the above. 

And speaking of warmth, I’m trying something new, which seems to be the theme of my life right now. I’ve loaded up straw (lots of straw) in different areas/shelters for not only the farm animals but for Levi, Penny, Dutch and Whisper. There are several barns and shelters I’ve placed abundant straw in. The LGD’s have chosen this particular shelter as their favorite, which in the past has remained unused.

Char loves them

This makes my heart so happy.
Except in the early mornings before work, when I 
go to feed them, they are here and it’s a little trek 
down the pasture for their breakfast delivery. 
Worth it ✅

In the past, I’ve gotten dog beds for them. Big dog beds for everyone, yet they get so nasty and gross so fast. This year? It’s straw. Lots of straw and refreshing the straw when needed. They seem to really like it. And when they are happy, I, too am happy. And yet, another theme in my life :

Farm animals happy = Cyndi's happy 💕

Happy, happy holidays my sweets,

Cyndi