It has been a minute

It has certainly been some minutes since I've met you back here, and would like to say Happy New Year! (again)

And I'd like to say a big happy birthday to David who turned 65 on the 19th! Look at you go! Some folks would not have predicted it.....but you continue to prove those folks wrong. Vintage 1958. And as a wonderful gift, the tax office is going to provide you a '65 and over' tax exemption and lock in a tax rate for you. Happy Birthday to yoooouuuuu! We happen to love senior discounts and concessions. I'll take all we can get. 

I can't imagine life without this

Oh, by the way

I got a text the other day that surprised me yet didn't surprise me. You see, there's a neighbor whose not a neighbor that lives down the way whose land is on the west side of ours. We share a fence line, he with cattle, goats and sheep. I can't technically see the mobile home in which he lives, but it's across the acreage over there. If I've ever mentioned him before, I've likely included in the conversation that he's 129 years old - and still caring for his animals and his land (and his fences). He's always dressed in his blue jeans, boots, button-down shirt tucked in, with a belt on. He's always put together whether he's mending a fence or walking his land looking for a lost sheep or lamb. I've mentioned prior that we've had his sheep in our pasture, even his ram whose apparently gotten our own sheep pregnant. We've taken his lost lambs back to him when needed, and assisted his goats when they've gotten their head/horns stuck in the fence, unable to get free and are crying and crying. 

We consider his flock and herd as animals that we listen for, care for when needed, and also observe daily as they are usually just on the other side of our fence line. Our eyes are drawn to them, knowing they are there and enjoy watching his new lambs frolic and play, watch his young calves play with our little dogs through the fence, and enjoy his animals although they are not our own. 

The text I received was from Janet, whose the wife of Fred, whose the son of Mr Galvan whose 129 years old. Fred is the actual land owner of the 20 acres that Mr Galvan was living on and taking care of, as Fred and his family live in Austin. Janet was just letting me know that Mr Galvan had his 92nd birthday and that he was going to now live with one of his sons (who he has 7 of) in Whitewright as it was getting too hard for him to manage his land and animals. And.....that they had already sold all his animals....in one day. 

I was unsure how to feel about all of this. I was happy his family was able to assist Mr Galvan in his time of need. But I'm going to miss him - and his animals. He was all of 120 lbs maybe. He was frail yet strong. A obvious hard worker, whose work was getting to be too much for him. David and I had just seen him recently mending an area of his fence and had stopped to ask him if we could help. 

Now, he's been moved. Janet texts that they are coming to see him and would love to stop by and meet us. I've texted Janet a number of times, for example when I've needed to let them know we were having our adjoining fence rebuilt. The cows were pushing over the old fence that had been there for years. Janet and I have stayed in touch for other various reasons and now this. And she and Fred did indeed come by our house on Sunday afternoon while they were in town visiting Fred's father, Mr Galvan. The first thing they told us after we greeted one another was, "My dad passed away yesterday". 

I again, was so sad. I was sad to lose him from our lives, but now he's really gone gone. Mr Galvan was part of our lives, part of the world in which we live. No, he was not 129 years old, and instead he was 92. And now he's gone. And all his animals are no longer along our fence line. As we all sat on the front porch and reminisced about Mr Galvan, they told us about all the people he's helped in his long life, and how loved he was and is. We talked about whether they will sell their land or lease it. They said they will likely lease it and offered us first dibs at leasing their 20 acres for 158.00/year. I corrected them and said, "a month you mean?". No, a year, they say. With their ag exemption, their taxes are $158.00 a year and so that's what they will lease it for. To pay for the taxes.

Let me get this straight. I can use your 20 acres for farm animals for $158.00 a year. Yep, they say. Well this is certainly a twist. Is this an opportunity to raise mini cows? longhorns? bees? I'm going to need to think about this a minute. I'll get back to you. 

So as we pay tribute to this kind man we knew as Galvan, a lifelong rancher, a dedicated working man til he was 92 years old, I'm thankful for the opportunity to have known him. Fred told us that his dad had told the family that 'without his animals, he would die'. And he did. Rest in Peace, my sweet friend. My eyes still search for you walking in the pasture, and I look for you along the fence line on my way home, wondering what you are fixing today and if you'll allow me to help you. I'll miss you. It's just not the same without you. 

Never enough

I assume you are familiar with the egg shortage these days. Who knew. How does this happen? While I'm sure I could google that and read about it further, I'll just say that if ever I thought that selling eggs from a road side stand was a good idea, it's officially a good idea now. 

This embodies the community of life with 100 chickens 💛
So much love, safety and community with these girlz.

Once upon a time I had 2 chickens. Then 8, then 12, then my chicken math told me I was at the crazy-number close to 30 chickens. Then I hovered at 60 chickens, then up to 80, and have now surpassed 100 chickens. Yep. I blew the door off the crazy-number of 30. I thought that was when people were officially cray cray. I now know that no matter how many chickens you have, it's always better with more. 

A few months ago, David and I bought chicks at a local feed store in Sherman. David always encourages me to get more than I originally say I want. He knows me. 

Then, this past weekend, I drove out to Ivanhoe to pick up 24 laying hens (18 months old girlz) from a operation out there where a couple, very similar to us, started doing chicken things and now have 300 chickens. They have hoop coops separating out and housing their meat chickens, their layers for eggs, their roosters, and their reproduction area where they raise more chickens. I was in awe. There is a chicken farmer inside me screaming "me! me! me! I want to do that!" 

But I'm a registered operating room nurse for now not a chicken farmer with hoop coops. Maybe one day. 

Where was I, oh yeah, I now have just over 100 chickens. 

Look at those little girlz roosting in the sun
during this beautiful afternoon of warmth

I love this. I love everyone of these sweet hens. I may not be getting an optimal number of eggs these days due to the shorter days, overcast weather, winter weather and molting time for many girlz. But their egg production will increase come spring time. I can wait.

I love how Paul naps in his spot during the day

The egg customers, on the other hand, circle the egg fridge up by the road like hawks on a pasture of mice. They hover and wait for the Sold Out sign to come down and grab the eggs, sometimes within 5-10 minutes of me placing them in the egg fridge. At $2.50 a dozen, I sell out every day. It's a community service whereby I like to provide folks with fresh quality food at a low price. That way, everyone can have access to fresh food. 

This location and set-up is the best yet.
Not quite as janky as it used to be.
I even have a note typed up, laminated, 
and on the front of the fridge, to keep the 
customers updated on my intention
to increase my egg production ✅

As my new pullets grow up and start to lay eggs around March or April, and my newer girlz (I recently got from the couple in Ivanhoe) will likely settle in and start laying more eggs more regularly - I expect my production to increase so that I can provide more eggs to the public here in Gunter. I now make more than enough money to cover my feed costs, and we are also selling David's homemade biscuits and his BBQ sauce in there as well. The homemade buttermilk biscuits are a big hit! 

Part of what is helping this feed situation is that David volunteers at The Community Garden Kitchen in McKinney each week and is now bringing home all their "expired" and extra food(s).

It's sooooo much food. Yet, if David does not take it, they throw it in the dumpster. So, they save much of it for David as they know the farm animals will be the recipients of it all. I'm forever putting bread out for the chickens, along with pies, vegetables and canned foods of all sorts. 

I usually place the bread in some water so that it becomes mushy enough for the chickens. The bread is older (not yet moldy though) and it usually too hard for the animals to eat. But with a little fresh water, it becomes a delicious treat! Maggie has to stay in her pen - otherwise she would eat it all and that is not a good idea for her although she thinks it would be a good idea. But she's not a good judge of how much is appropriate to eat. So she watches and waits patiently.  

The facility where David volunteers cannot use certain canned foods if the can is damaged. So, we have a lot of green beans, tomatoes and other random foods that are in a can and actually perfectly fine. I understand this facility has rules on what foods can and cannot be prepared for humans - and the outcome of their extra food is that our farm animals eat like we do. Real food, real nice. Heck, David and I eat a bit of what he brings home, too. I mean, why not. This food is from Kroger, Tom Thumb, Sprouts and other grocery stores. After all, this is what I see in the grocery store and now it's in my garage and tack room/barn - free. Perfectly good food not going in the dumpster. I'm here for that. Did I mention my farm animal feed cost has decreased? 

Oh, just a reminder….

When you can’t get in the front door...... 

Always lurking with the Ring camera watching him

Just take a nap on the front door mat.....

He's sure one day he'll be invited in

I am going to bring him in the house one day. Just bring him in and let him live with us. It's just that he's a bit loud. That's all. 

Stock Show

If there's something I'll miss about Lauren and Ryan living in Fort Worth, it's their proximity to the Health and Science Museum (Children's portion, mainly) and the Stock Show each year.

So much fun!

I love the curiosity of children

Brooks, Lauren and I went over to the Stock Show, as I also took Brooks over on my own recently as well. Both times, we all had a blast! Brooks, like most children, is a big fan of all the animals. 

He wanted in there so bad

This year though, Brooks got a lighted wand toy from a vendor at the Stock Show and walked around with it as his prized procession. 

We enjoyed seeing all the cows, sheep, goats and horses. Add in a fire truck and a fireman giving out fireman's hats and badges - and it's every 2 year old boy's dream. 

The joy of a hat and badge - and 
sitting in the front seat of a firetruck! 

So much love for the horses. He called them all by the name, Dora. As our mini horse Dora is the sweetest ever, and apparently therefore, all horses are named Dora. 

As I close down a very-farm-themed post, I'd just like to remind myself how fortunate I am. I'm alive. I'm able to care for my animals. And for this I am grateful. I find that it really cannot be taken for granted and I cannot do this forever - and not likely til I'm 92. Every day that I'm out here, living life truly out here, is my 12 year old self's dream come true. There's no where else I want to be. This is my daily vacation. My get-away. My happy place. My source of joy. I want to thank God for allowing me this in my life. I just shake my head sometimes and am amazed at how fortunate I am. And that in this universe, I'm trusted to do this - take care of animals. 

I, in turn, wish for you whatever it is that brings you peace and joy in your life,

Cyndi.................who is somehow able to create a mashup of farm life and running life. I've recently created a trail route around the property for running. It's a 0.55 mile loop that never leaves our property - and instead of pushing the dogs in the cart, they run behind or ahead of me. Pretty sweet. Why did I not do this sooner? 

 

Someone please tell me

Where does the time go? I've been mulling this over for quite some time. And even though that sounds like a play on words, it's true. I think about where time goes after we are done with it. When I asked Google where the time goes, it says that time mostly goes on the x-axis because it allows for other qualities to be a function of time. And that in most cases, time is independent of other variables. Since that was not exactly what I was looking for, although I thank Google for its answer, I'm needing something much more than that. After all, I think I learned that in 7th grade. My questions for time are now much different. Give me something more woo woo, or maybe more scientific. Just something about where time really goes. 

Turns out, I find that both Einstein and Newton have conflicting theories on how time works, but both agree that time is only forward moving. And then, turns out (liking the turning out thing today apparently) it's a classic argument regarding the flow of time. The No-Direction theory basically says that unlike many things in life that are symmetrical or circular, time is one-directional or asymmetrical. Also as taught in physics, that basically, time has no direction. 

Then, to complicate the long standing question of 'where does the time go', I find it's often speculated that time might only exist in your head. Apparently, there are many philosophers and theorists that feel that time does not actually come from the physical world, as it's said that time comes from four-dimensional space, and then Einstein's Theory of Relativity comes into play. I won't go into all that as there's not enough time or space in this blog to even touch on it  - and it'll also save you time in your precious life.

What I've learned is that time may not be what it seems. Time is not necessarily past, present and future. True, time can be dependent on what someone's definition of what time is. Time will forever be discussed in books, dissertations and every other kind of genre in this world. I mean, time is a TedTalk. The topic of time is written about in thousands of books over thousands of years. Time is debated at such a detailed level by so many people that there's no way I can wrap my head around it all. Time has been debated for all time over generations and generations by many people and by many genius's. Yet, still today, no one can definitively pin down this time phenomenon. And here we are....asking so casually....where has the time gone. No one really knows and that's incredibly fascinating to me. 

Letting Blackie go.....when is it time?

I've put off blogging for the very reason I did not want to re-live or talk about losing Blackie. It just hurts. That same deep hurt again, like I felt when I lost Winston only a month ago.

Too pretty for a barn cat

We lost Blackie this past week. I cried many days before he passed, I cried (and exhausted myself) the day of his passing, and still feel the sting of it all when I think about him. Every animal is so very special, and Blackie was no exception. 

For so long, he lived up here

Until he could no longer get up there....

We were fortunate that 3 years ago, Blackie decided to pick us to help him. We had seen his elusive self, slinking around, to eat and take safety in the garage, then eventually in the barn. We keep cat food out in both places for our own cats, and also for cats that just 'show up'. Blackie was different in that he was a long-haired black beautiful cat who appeared more of an inside cat than outside. For quite a while, as we watched him secretly come and go, we never knew if he was male or female. We just knew "that's a beautiful cat" - yet feral. His long bushy tail was unmistakeable. We were never allowed to get close, and if we tried, he'd slink off quickly.

Then one day, he decided he needed us enough to allow us to see him - just close enough to notice the wound on his forehead.

This is how he came to us initially, with a 
wound that seemingly would not heal on
it's own

It was around this time that we decided to trap him and take him to the vet for the wound on his forehead. It definitely needed attention. So we did trap him to his dismay and we made our way to the vet. The vet would tell us we'd need to bring him inside the house so that his wound could heal, administer antibiotics/medication and that it would take about 30 days (give or take) to help this infected wound heal - with medication and a clean environment. 

Unsure about what we were getting ourselves into, David and I picked the guest room upstairs to release Blackie in (who was 'wild' at that time and so very scared of us) to which he promptly ran to the closet and stayed there for most of the duration of his healing. He did in fact use the litter box we placed in there, and he did take the medication we would put in his food and in treats. 

By the time Blackie's forehead wound healed and he was ready to be released back outside, he had become tame, trusted us, and allowed us to love him and pet him readily. He was just the sweetest boy. Oh yeah, and we figured out he was a he. He also had a piece of his ear cut off signifying that he was indeed neutered. 

He would share his little cat house with 
chickens.

He would patiently wait for the chicken(s)
to lay their eggs, their head back into his little 
house and happily lay on/with the eggs.

Since that time, Blackie has lived in the Tack Room in the barn, taking shelter on a shelf higher up inside a 'cat house' that in the winter time would include a heating pad. 

Blackie readily shared his cat house with the chickens, who often times laid an egg in it. Blackie did not mind, and once the chicken(s) finished laying an egg, he was happy to lie in his little cat house with a chicken egg in it. He was so laid back about it all. Chickens, no problem. Eggs, no problem. He's a sharer. 

As time went on, he moved downstairs off the 
shelf and onto a softer bed with a heat lamp,
when needed.

My sweet boy just kept getting smaller

Then about 6 months ago, Blackie started to lose weight and even limp a little. After that did not seem to get better with trying new cat food(s) and encouraging weight gain, we took him to the vet. The vet proceeded to tell us that he was very old, that he was losing his teeth and that weight loss in older cats is not unusual. He also noted that Blackie had severe arthritis and his joints were swollen and sore, therefore limping might occur. This all made sense, but yet there was not a fix to his issues. Pain meds, but no long term fix. Fast forward to his symptoms worsening, more weight loss, more limping and back to the vet we go. A steroid shot would be all they could offer along with noting a spot/place in his mouth that "might be cancer" or that Blackie has an auto immune disorder contributing to his issues. Hence, my prior blogs indicating that Blackie was on hospice, as he would not be recovering from his health issues.

Blackie began to become more and more frail

As Blackie continued to lose weight and decline in health, he would remain in his area in the tack room with a bed, a heat lamp, a litter box and food/water all within a central location for him. He seemed to be very comfortable there, and we both enjoyed seeing each other each day we came to the barn to feed all the animals. He would ask for pets. Sadly, he would lick only the juice from the wet cat food we would offer him. He was so thin, and was down to 5 lbs at this point. 

We knew we were going to lose Blackie. This is the point that every pet owner dreads. Do we allow him to pass on his own - or determine it's time to end his struggle and pain. 

After talking with my friend Marjie, she too had a dog with this same situation and a similar decision to be determined. And just like with Winston, we knew we should talk to a vet about this again. Marjie also told me she utilized a vet who would come to your home, to help determine this type of situation - and the magnitude of it all. So we called Dr Henderson at Beyond The Rainbow to come out and see Blackie to give us another opinion and help us make this decision. 

If I could ever recommend something to you in your life, it would be this. I've never done this before, but Dr Henderson did come to our farm, and reviewed Blackie's condition with us. She too informed us Blackie was not going to get better or improve, and like the other vet had suggested, that Blackie likely had cancer or an autoimmune disorder occurring. He was so tiny, and said he's likely "eating" just enough to stay alive and is motivated by seeing us each morning and night. After all, he has everything he needs at his paw-tips to exist in life, but that his body is barely thriving. Dr Henderson went on to explain that many times, cats will go away when they know they are going to pass on. They will go hide or run away to pass on. David and I both knew in our hearts that it was time to let Blackie go. It's just hard - every time - to make this kind of decision. We just knew that we did not want Blackie to run off and pass on his own. That seemed too sad for us - and him.

Our chalk board in the Tack Room

Dr Henderson would be able to assist Blackie to pass in his own bed, in his own comfortable, loving home with David and I with him. And he did. Blackie crossed that Rainbow Bridge with David and I at his side, talking to him, allowing all the smells and feels of his own bed to embrace him. It was a peaceful way to allow a loved one to pass on. His little body was worn, and I wished for his spirit to be free from the cruelty of what life can bring. Dr Henderson was so comforting, and I'll never forget her grace and her ability to make this hard transition as good as this type of situation can be. I'm so very grateful for her. 

A few days later, I saw this......
I wasn't expecting a note back from Blackie,
but wow, I felt this deep in my heart. And cried.

The blessing in this experience was that we were at home. I had Sugar there with Blackie, as he just loves her so much. Sugar may not be reciprocal regarding his feelings, but she is extremely tolerant of his love towards her. 

He shares his warm bed with Sugar. They both
wait patiently under the heat lamp while I feed
all the animals.

Blackie loved Sugar. Sugar 'tolerated' Blackie's 
love. Sugar's love is hard to come by in general.

On his final day, Sugar was there with us, and 
Blackie could not take his eyes off her. He
always wanted to nuzzle Sugar and love her.
She would try hard to allow his love.

Death is never easy. I've often thought that I could prepare myself for an upcoming loss by reasoning and reassuring myself that it's 'better that way' or somehow that decision is best for an animal. Yet every time, I find I'm not prepared. It's a pretend 'prepared' I prepare for and then reality hits hard every time. With the loss of Blackie erupted the same pain I recently felt with the loss of Winston. Blackie had also chosen us as his forever home. Blackie allowed us to care for him, love him, and granted us the privilege of his precious meows every time we walked into the Tack Room in the barn. Lucky for us, the Tack Room is the thoroughfare to the inside of the barn. It's where we prepare everyone's food. It's where we would see him day in and day out. Rain or shine. Blackie was a mainstay for us. His presence is so very missed. The room is empty without him. I'm still adjusting to this change. Yet I tell myself I can visit him just around the corner, as David buried Blackie behind the shed we have. He will forever be where I can find his spirit. I can hear his sweet meow right now.

My sweet boy, before he fell ill 💔

Not quite sure why, but I might find him 
leisurely sitting in his litter box.
Rest easy, my sweets. 

Life out here - while running

Speaking of animals that chose us........something that happens fairly often, but I don't often talk about is what happens when I'm out on a run. I run mostly on country roads, not well-traveled roads, and roads that can be unpredictable with animals that are loose - esp dogs.

Yes, I can't resist loving on
dogs out here

Ryan and Lauren had gotten me some bear spray awhile back after an encounter with a German Shepard that decided it did not like me going by on the road. This particular German Shepard came running at me so hard and so fast that it hit the cart/Bob stroller (that I often take Sugar and Maybe in on my runs) that it knocked the front wheel completely off and had it's whole mouth around Maybe's body in the cart. Since I carry a can of wasp spray for just this reason, I was able to deter this particular dog and even was able to speak to this dog owner about this. 

Nonetheless, it's a risk when running. Dogs. They are my biggest risk factor on the road. I've been bit, as you probably know already, and can tell you a dog can tear you up in about 30 seconds or less. Give them a minute or two, and as you've heard on the news, dogs can kill. They don't need alot of time. 

The above dogs pictured happen to be good dogs. Friendly, kind and respectful. But how do you know when they come running up to you as you're running along? You don't. You just make sure that you are "ready" - just in case. I've gotten quite used to this. And I'm happy to report that most dogs out here are good dogs. 

This is a recent example, and many times that I'm talking to Lauren or David on the phone while out running - they can hear barking dogs around me. It's part of the dealio. Sometimes these dogs will run along with me for miles. Yes, for miles. These dogs (above) had run at least 4 or 5 miles with me, when David showed up in the car. Why did David show up in the car? Because I was running towards Sherman for us to go eat lunch, and he was going to come and grab me on his way there. I have a particular route I run from Gunter to Sherman and David is well-versed on the route. He is an exceptional crew as you know from many of my races. I suppose it's never really a surprise that I have a dog following me or in this case, a pack of dogs around me as I run. 

David sees this probably more often
than he'd prefer.
I love Sugar's head sticking out the back
of the cart seeing what the heck is happening.

Do I want to take these dogs all back home with me? Of course I do. But yet, they are healthy-looking and most have collars on, so I know they are likely wanderers and probably have a place to call home. Will they find their way home, yeah, I bet they will. This particular pack seemed well-versed on sticking together. I enjoyed getting to know them as we moved down the non-busy back roads. The little black Schnauzer had a WonderWoman collar on and has been groomed/shaved short with a beard in place. The 2 Great Pyrenees were a girl and boy who seemed hauntingly similar to my own Penny and Dutch. The other (2) male and female St Bernard mixes were so sweet and surprisingly soft. The female dropped back and went back home, but the others stayed with me - until I got in the car. David just shakes his head as he never knows what he'll find when he comes to grab me off the road and take me to our favorite Mexican food place in Sherman. 

I think part of the journey and excitement while running on country roads is who and what you'll come across. I'm already a sight to see while running and pushing a Bob stroller with dog(s) in it. That in itself qualifies me for full-on Crazy Town. And then to come across more dogs - and what happens after that - keeps my life bubbly and fun. I love it. But I do have the Bear Spray (and wasp spray) if I need it. Usually though, its love and a soft voice these country dogs want. That's what I'd want if my dogs got out. Someone to treat them nicely. So that's what I give, along with a good run that they are likely not expecting. 

The healing's going well

I'm happy to tell you that I had my stitches taken out from my recent Moh's procedure for skin cancer. 

Wow, skin does not look that great close up.
The healing is a bit lumpy bumpy, but 
that's just how it goes. It calms down after 
a year or two and the scar becomes less visible.

I'm fortunate that I heal fairly well. My skin does well with stitches, and I'm always happy that I haven't gotten an infection from these incisions that happen more often than I prefer. After all, I wear a mask at work that rubs it, and I'm in a dirty barn cleaning and feeding farm animals. It's a wonder it heals decent. I'm happy to report the outcome is positive. 

It's healed well and for that I am grateful

For me, cancer can tend to encourage oneself to ruminate on death and dying, and where the time goes, and why I run out in the middle of nowhere for hours with my own dogs - I only have one answer: It's the season of life I'm in. I do ponder the mysteries of death as I have many senior animals on the farm and am a senior myself married to a senior. And it's been said that it only takes two generations to be forgotten. I do wonder if time is only from the current moment and forward. And there's very few things I'd rather do than be out running on the road with my little Sugar listening to audio books. It's where I'm at right now. These things feel right to me. It feels natural for me to do these things. The people who do drive by me on these country roads, in their cars, may think otherwise and I get that. I mean, who runs down the road with a tiny dog in a stroller and 5 dogs circling around them. Oh yeah, I do. Sometimes our lives make perfect sense to ourselves and not to others. The acceptance of that idea has been my life's work. 

Happy New Year!

Cyndi

How about a Brooks video for a more upbeat ending.....he's at the museum in front of a huge screen with dinosaurs, with his dad. 

 

Change is the law of life

 

Change is happening around here and I'm fortunate it's a good kind of change. I changed from one employer to another employer (this past week) due to the insurance issues we've had since Oct 1st. I did not necessarily want to leave where I was, but with the insurance changes and the horrible impact it had on David's and I ability to receive health care, there was no other choice but to leave for better health insurance. This is certainly not a reason I've ever left a job for, esp a job I liked. Yet, I could not find another option except to make a change. Another change in all this is that I did not end up going to McKinney Surgery Center as planned. I actually decided to go back to Stonebridge Surgery Center, of which I had been a PRN OR RN (that's code for: per diem, as needed, operating room registered nurse) there for a number of years, previously. The folks at Stonebridge are loyal friends who have traveled not only the cancer journey's with David and I, but also our life journey in general - and I, with theirs. They know me better than most people do and as Dr Waheed often says, they 'speak Cyndi'. And I speak Stonebridge. We get each other, and although I was considered a PRN RN there previously, I was always working full times hours. Now, I'm officially full time with benefits. And most thankful for that. I am grateful that they have chosen to have me back, and feel like I'm home. I feel extraordinarily fortunate to have the opportunity to work there again. 

Did I know this would happen? Nope, no idea. Since leaving Stonebridge years ago (prior to working in the surgeon's office who operate there) I never thought I'd be blessed with being there once again. After all, at the time, I wanted to retire from the OR and move into a medical office setting. Yet, once David and I were each diagnosed with our cancers, our needs in life changed drastically, and I knew I'd need to get back into a OR position for stability and salary. 

Now I find myself driving the oh-so familiar roads that take me to Stonebridge Surgery Center. The roads I have driven, biked and even ran to get to work. It just feels so good to be going there again. How we are "moved" in life without realizing we are being "moved" along in these kind of decisions is beyond me. Sometimes my life just happens. I'm where I'm supposed to be. And as Kate Bowler advocates that "everything happens" - always leaving off the "for a reason" - part. Kate is an advocate for dispelling this particular cliche (she goes so far to call it a lie) because her opinion is (as reflected in her book and podcast with this title) Everything Happens. Then there's a period behind that. Not for a reason. Instead, everything happens. Period. The. End. I'm experiencing this at this moment because there is no set reason that can be seen or given, only surmised. I can guess a reason, but that does not make it a real reason, and that's Kate's point. Why do we say everything happens for a reason when nobody can give us the reason. I think my summation of this phenomenon is that that things are happening. Boy howdy, things are happening. 

Egg Bridge 

There happens to be quite a few new things - and changes - in our life, and this egg bridge is certainly one of them. 

Egg bridge freshly completed

What exactly is an egg bridge? I never even knew such a thing existed. Well, to fill you in, it's a little bridge whereby my egg fridge now resides. Due to the lay of the land up front on our property, there's not a flat spot for which to put the egg fridge. Plus, it's an area for water runoff - hence the need for a bridge. I've never been able to place the egg fridge at the front of our main property due to this issue of not having a proper place for it there.  I'd planned on moving the location of the egg fridge from our property (which is actually now Lauren and Ryan's property!) to the entrance of our own property (in front of the closed front gate). But a surface would need to be laid in order to do so. And now, it's complete. An egg bridge for the egg fridge.

Signs going up

This was my birthday gift from David: Yep, an egg bridge. The intention is that the egg fridge will be moved from where we currently had it......

Old location.......Lauren and Ryan's place

and placed on this egg bridge, providing more stability for the refrigerator and hopefully even more convenience for the customers. We are able to secure the fridge to the fence as well as place the money box right beside the fridge. I'm also seeing this as a long-term place from which to sell the eggs, esp as Lauren and Ryan begin their eventual move to Gunter and having the egg fridge in front of their property does not seem logical. Although I can see them having chickens in their future but not sure if they see that. 

New location......work in progress

On the evening that all the Eggs For Sale signs were moved, and the egg fridge was moved, and a sign telling customers that the egg fridge has moved (placed where the fridge used to be).......I arrive to this surprise:

David surprised me with a grand re-opening "air-dancer" to celebrate the egg business in its new location. Fancy, huh? I thought so! Because the egg fridge is sorta behind a tree, and it's black - it's kinda hard to see now. So I'll be getting a couple of new light-colored magnet signs (kind of like those on a car) to place on the fridge so it can be seen more readily. For now, I've got a handpainted sign drawing attention to it. That's temporary and contributes to the jankiness factor. 

Unfortunately, it was later in the evening (when all this move was made) and dusk turned into dark, and the dancer was turned off. But it'll be on again! And I was able to gather more eggs to place in the egg fridge. What's a grand re-opening without any eggs?! I mean, someone actually had the gaul to buy all the eggs from me in the middle of this move, that evening.

Oh wait, but it gets better!

New item for sale 👍

I've got a ways to go to get the egg fridge and the signs a little less janky. With time though. For now, we are growing our road-side stand with the following new items introduced : Homemade buttermilk biscuits (in the freezer) and homemade canned BBQ sauce (in fridge for safe-keeping) are all now available, along with the fresh eggs. Don't worry Maggie, there's no bacon involved.  

My next (longer-term) goal will be buying and placing a Share Box down by the Egg Fridge. I'd love for neighbors to be able to contribute and share what they make, or have extra of, or grow in their gardens. There's many people out here that could use what others don't have the need for. 

My example for which to try and emulate

About damn time

Yeppers, we've re-done most all the house over the last 6 years with the exception of the laundry room. I've mentioned that David was working on it, and he did finish it some time ago, but it still feels new to me and I love it. I love the new tile, the moulding around the room now, fresh paint and the new cabinets and counter top. 

I love my new laundry room 💙

Another favorite thing about the laundry room re-do was that we moved all cat-things to the closet in the laundry room. Now, the closet does not have a door (intentional) and that kind of makes this closet a side-room, if you will. This is now the official Cat Room. I moved all their food, bedding and sleeping quarters there. 

Three of the cats here, Smokey, top left,
Kitty, top right, and Junie B, bottom

I don't mind the cats being in the laundry room, I really don't. But now, they are more condensed to a particular area in there, and it works for them - and me.

Sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference in the life. It was a lot for David to do all this himself, so technically it's not a little thing. But having a re-fresh in the laundry room is like a breath of fresh air. I absolutely love it. It finally feels like a laundry room. 

I Am Sophie

I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to keep doing this. But here I am again. Doing things like I'm going to live forever when I know I'm not. This time, it's a treat for Buddy. 

Buddy Boy

Buddy is about to turn 1 year old and he's a guy who loves to play. He loves chasing the ball, playing with any animal who'll play with him, going on runs and walks (mostly enjoys the walks) but loves loves the cart rides. Since he does not have a true playmate, we decided to get him one.

Sophie, who now steals all bones from Buddy

This girl. She's the cutest, but don't let that girl-vibe fool you. She's feisty, she's zesty, and she's full of life. This girl is on fire. 

I was afraid of getting Buddy a girl friend because I thought he might play too rough. Turns out, it's the other way around. Sophie is a fire ball and wants what she wants. She also makes sure that she gets what she wants. She's the little sister who beats up on her big brother. Sometimes, Buddy looks up at me as if to say, How can Sophie do that - and get away with it?

You can never know how these things will go.....but I can tell you that her and Buddy bonded instantly. I mean, they became best fur friends forever within minutes. They both seem to know that they are now each other's - forever. ** Side Note: Due to the archaic nature of this blog platform, I currently have to video a video to get it to post. In both the above videos, you can hear Buddy snoring while I'm recording them for the blog. Yes, he snores LOUD. 

Sharing bones in the warm sunshine

Someone please tell us what is going on

Sugar and Maybe just watch the Buddy and Sophie Show. They are not sure what to make of it, but instead, they use them as entertainment and are trying hard to go with this flow.

Instant bond. I had no idea this could happen 
so quickly.

I've never had 4 indoor dogs. 4! Turns out, it's the best thing ever. Or at least I think so.

Chicks, Man

Wow, do we ever have some chicks around here. 

The chicks are living in the Little Girl Area
until they get bigger. 

I love how they all mingle around together.
The silkies share their area with the chicks
very well.

Let's see, we have some silkie and frizzle chicks from our own flock. Then we bought a bunch of (pullets/girls) chicks at a local feed store awhile back, and they are mostly feathered now. Which means they are growing up and able to keep themselves warm. So all the heat lamps are off, for now. (Except for Blackie's, the hospice kitty in the tack room). The weather has been milder anyway. But overall, the chicks are growing up and getting bigger day by day. 

A couple of the silkies from our own flock.
So dang cute and fluffy.

We have all the chicks living outside in the Little Girl Area right now, as it keeps them safe while they are small and unsure what to do in life. When they get to be teenagers, we will likely move them to the barn, yet will keep the silkie and frizzles chicks in the Little Girl Area, as that's where they will stay and live. 

They are getting old enough to roost now

Yet sometimes they choose to have a chick-pile instead

I love how the chicks begin to roost and act like real chickens. It's fun to watch them grow and see the  instinctual chicken traits begin to show up. The scratching with their feet, roosting, and the best part, is watching them bond with one another. Chickens are a lot like teenagers. They create clicks and become friends with those most like them. They each have their own personality. Many are so beautifully feathered, and they have no idea just have gorgeous they are no matter how many times I tell them. 

Speaking of chicks, you know my sweet little niece, Savannah, right? The birthday girl who we gifted silkies to and has the most bougie chicken coop setup (which I love!).  She's the newest chicken lady in our family and rocking it (along with Kristin and Sheryl, of course)…….well, she decorated her gingerbread house for the holidays. Or should I say, gingerbread coop house 🤗

Is this not the cutest thing ever

Santa Baby

Look who I found in the parking lot

Santa visiting Cook Children's

On the last day of my prior job, Santa showed up to say Hello. He also lives with me.

Santa meets reindeer (Dr Ogg)

David recently took his Santa costume out, dusted it off, and came up to say hello to the staff and kiddos at my work. It was so much fun, esp considering it was my last day there (before my new job).

What happened next was surprising and new, which seems to be a theme in this blogpost. There was a co-worker whose HOA needed a Santa to attend their event and give out 100 presents to the kids in the neighborhood at their annual neighborhood holiday event. This means David/Santa will be in a big red chair, giving 100 children presents (that their parents have picked out and wrapped for them) and also taking photos with them. This will all happen in a supposed 4 hour period. 

So now, somehow, David has his first real Santa gig. It's this coming Sunday from 1-4 in Aubrey. 

He immediately starts researching how to be a Santa, as there are Santa expectations. You can't just be a willy-nilly Santa because it doesn't work like that. Kids have expectations for what Santa says and how Santa does things. Kids also have lots of questions and David will need to know how to answer those and be ready for anything that comes his way. Turns out, it's a lot of responsibility. But David is up for it, has done his research now, and is as ready as he can be. We've completed dry runs of kid-question and answer sessions, we've reviewed that all photos taken have to show BOTH of Santa's hands in the photo, and all other kid-appropriate things that parents and society expect. You don't just show up as Santa. You are Santa. 

What's cuter than Santa with a puppy?

Buddy wasn't having it

When 2 holidays collide

Stitch Me Up

I had another wonderful experience with my skin cancer lately, as I had the Mohs procedure/surgery completed on a new skin cancer on my face. Yes, it seems like I've had this Mohs thing more times than my fair-share allows. But apparently, my body loves to make skin cancers, so this procedure is a main-stay in my life. Let's go through it together, shall we?

First, I'll back up and say it all starts with going to your regular dermatologist and having a full body skin cancer check (every 6 months for me). Then, that usually means biopsies of suspicious places, usually on my face, nose or ears. I've had skin cancer other places too, like on my feet, abdomen and back, but my face seems to be the go-to place for me. Side Note** When I was young, our sun-block was a short sleeved t-shirt after we were already sunburned. Granted, sunscreen was not a big thing back in those days - and add to that - skin cancer runs in my family (red-haired light-skinned folk). 

Okay, then the dermatologist office calls me with my biopsy results which tends to be bad news. Then, I'm scheduled with the surgeons for removal of the skin cancer lesion via a common method called Mohs. This is a surgery/procedure whereby the skin cancer is removed, then taken (at that same time) to be inspected under the microscope and determined if all the margins of the lesion are clear or cancerous. If they are clear, your wound will be sewn up. If the margins are not clear, more tissue will be removed. Then, this process is repeated until all margins are clear and it's time to have the area sewn up and a pressure-dressing/bandage placed. 

Okay, where was I? Yes, I was past the point where I was scheduled for Mohs for a skin cancer lesion on my face and arrived for this procedure that I've had way too many times for my liking. 

Next up, I'm taken back to a room and the doctor marks the area.

X marks the spot.
First marking before any cutting begins

Then, I'm "numbed-up" with local (lidocaine, usually) in the area in preparation for the removal of the lesion. After the numbing medication has become effective enough for the removal, the doctor then removes the skin cancer lesion to be taken to the pathology area of the office for review of the margins.

So the excision is made, and now I have a little hole in my face cheek. 

And the first pass is made to take out the
cancerous lesion. This does leave a little crater.

It's at this time that patient's are usually given a temp bandage placed over their affected area and sent back out to the waiting room while the pathologist determines if all the cancer was taken out. This is where it gets tricky. Sometimes, you have to go back again and again to have more and more tissue removed and given to the pathologist again to check for clear margins. This can happen several times and is never fun. Lucky for me, today the doctor took the whole skin cancer on his first try. Which means it's time they can sew the area back up. 

Second marking to determine the closing and
incision line.

So again, you are laid down, and the numbing medication is then given again - and more of it - because the area they will sew up is larger than the area of just the lesion. This is because the shape and structure of the face does not allow otherwise. There are standards of care of how to stitch up areas around the nose. It requires a larger incision so that the skin can be pulled together for a clear incision line. They typically try to place this incision line where your nature folds and lines are in your face. This time, it was close to my mouth - but that's they way it goes.

Taaa Daaaa all closed up!
Side Note: This looks like it's on the opposite
cheek because the prior photos were selfies, 
and this photo was taken by the doctor. 
Funny how photos can reverse things, huh.
(The lesion is on my right side)

So now, it's sewn up and a pressure dressing is placed over it so that it helps hold it together and keeps pressure on it. This is a tough place to heal because you're constantly moving that part of your face with your mouth by talking, chewing, drinking, eating and smiling. 

I am now free to roam once again

Questions? 

Does it hurt? No, not with the numbing medication on board. Later on, yes. Plenty of tylenol and ibuprofen is a good idea. (I am also given a pain killer Rx, but never take it)

When do the stitches come out?

5-7 days, whereby usually one of the doctors/co-workers at my work will remove them for me, so I don't have to go back to have them removed. It's very convenient that way, and plus I don't have to miss work again and drive to Plano 😉. 

How long do I have to keep it dry?

48 hours and then the dressing can come off. After that, it's just rinsed with soap and water, with antibiotic ointment applied after that. Easy peasy.

Should you be alarmed if you need Mohs?

Nah. I always consider myself fortunate that someone is finding my skin cancers and removing them. That's what it's all about. This is fairly common, unlike my blood cancer, polycythemia vera. Which, by the way, I'll be finding out in the next upcoming months whether I'll be still receiving my treatments in-office, or will be able to administer the injection at home. For now, I'm still having labs drawn - and treatment (injection of BESREMi) every 2 weeks at Texas Oncology in McKinney. Everyone, myself included, is very used to what is happening nowadays. After all, this was a new cancer treatment for that oncology center, and we are all on the same page now. I love going there every 2 weeks, as it's like seeing my extended family and catching up. Funny how that happens. 

Back to the skin cancer though. I'm a big advocate for having your skin checked, esp if you are in a high risk category (skin type, family history). Skin cancer can kill. It starts on your skin and can move inside of you if left alone. No bueno. If you have something funny-looking on you, consider having it looked at. Preventive care is self care. Sunscreen is a plus, and I've learned this all-to-well in life. Never enough sunscreen. 

Cancer is an interesting thing to have. It binds you to constant appointments (dr visits, lab, infusion room, etc) and I often find myself saying how inconvenient it all is. I mean, it is an inconvenience in my life if I'm frank about it. An inconvenience that is life-saving for me. I'm still able to live a wonderful life, and grateful for that - more than any words could ever express. I'm also constantly amazed at how the good Lord allows me to still do the things I love to do. I'm well aware there will be a day that it will be otherwise. I'll go down trying, that's for sure. 

To end this cancer talk for today (I love how easy it feels to talk about it) that I'd like to note that this is all a gift. A gift of hope, joy, understanding, adaptation, and empathy-envoking. A gift to understand that each day is exactly what I make it. And to have been given the understanding that I'm here for only awhile. Don't know how long. Just for awhile. I'll gladly take it. 

I also love it that others (you!) are along for this ride. Thanks for standing with David and I. We feel you,

Cyndi

Oh, one other last new thing......you know we take Brooks to the Fort Worth Health and Science Children's museum regularly. This day was different! 

Big day in the life over here.
What used to scare him excites him now.
Change is good 💛

He drove the ambulance! (which has previously been very scary). How time changes us all. ❤️