Saturday, February 17, 2018

And so it begins

It’s Go Time. February 17 arrived, and the journey for our Medical Mission trip to Honduras began. 
David and I are both going, and will serve as stewards to the needs of One World Surgery Center in Tegucigalpa. We will fly there today, and return the following Saturday night. 
For now, we are packed and making our way there. 2 flights, the first to Miami. We packed what we were told to bring, plus many other things we thought we might need, plus many things we don’t need but don’t know it yet. It’s a big “unknown”. What will be important, and what won’t? We’ll find out soon enough. 
The temperature in Honduras will range from 80 during the day to 60 at night. Nice, huh?! So it seems. I brought shorts, which means I had to shave my legs, and will do so for the sake of my vanity. That in itself may be the least of my worries. 
We were told to bring our own eating utensils, bug spray, light blanket, and rain jacket, plus an assortment of other items. A flashlight, as the electricity shuts off at 8 pm every night. And snacks and packaged food “if your a picky eater”. They said to bring an (empty) water bottle, and fill it up only out of specific designated sources. Do not drink water out of the facet, or brush your teeth with it either, we were told. Or you’ll be sorry.
I was told I will be a designated Circulating Operating Room RN for the week. I don’t know what service I will be working with (ENT, Urology, General, Gynecology, or whatever services they will offer this week), but I will make it happen. That’s what OR nurses do. 
David is classified as a General Volunteer, which means he may be cooking, doing yard work, helping the children in the neighboring Orphanage, as well as assisting in the Surgery Center (turning over rooms between cases, etc). We were told his duties may be different each day. It takes many General Volunteers to keep this Mission going! It’s open to the public, so if you happen to be reading this, you can go sometime, too. They have many brigades each year. Clinical volunteers are great, but General volunteers are needed to assist in a plethora of areas. 
You may have heard the Department of State has issued warnings about traveling to Honduras. No need to worry, we are told. The One World Surgery Center (along with an Children’s Orphanage and Elderly Orphanage) is located on a well-fenced and 24/7 guarded “Ranch”,  about a hour bus-ride away from the Airport. I suspect the bus-ride there is not on a highway? I don’t really know. Could be a bumpy ride, later today. 
How did I come across this opportunity? I work for Stonebridge Surgery Center which happens to be partially owned by SCA (Surgical Care Associates), who is a huge sponsor for this Mission. This Medical Mission is open to SCA employees and their families, but (most) many of the brigades are open to the general public, as well. They just need help there, to help others less fortunate. If I’m correct, there may be up to 60 people participating/volunteering this week. Doctors, nurses, and people from all walks of life with a single mission and goal. 
So as we make our way there, we left behind our farm in good hands. Between our daughter, Lauren and another young lady, Rosie (who lives nearby in Gunter), they will take care of our sweet animals. Setting things up on the farm to be gone for a week, was a feat in itself. I’ll miss that the most. My Barn Time. Petting, loving, feeding and cleaning many animals has become not only a way-of-life, but a passion. It rivals with the calming effects of yoga. 
One thing I know for sure, is that we will travel by bus to the “Ranch” today. We are not to leave there at all, for the duration of this trip. We do not leave the compound, until we are taken by bus the following Saturday back to the airport. No souvenir shopping. Nor are we allowed to give the children (on-site) anything - or bring gifts. The organizers do not want the children there to think they will always get things each time people come to volunteer. There is a Wish-List for the Orphanage if any one of us wants to donate to it directly, and/or bring things for the “Ranch”. They run a tight ship there, with volunteers coming and going. David and I have found it to be highly organized, with impeccable communication to the attendees. They make it easy, and have policies and procedures set out in detail. 

I’ll report more as I can. WiFi and cell service is another item I’m unsure about in Honduras.

Happy Saturday,
Cyndi 



Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Right-sizing

There seems to be an unintentional theme going on lately. I almost titled this writing as Part II of Love and Loss, yet I felt it would be unfair to Sugar, as this particular loss I'll describe, was intentional - for the good of our farm animal. I'll narrate this in story form:

The Life and Times of Pickles

There once was a Mama and Papa donkey, who were both rescued from different places, to be brought together on a farm in Gunter. They quickly bonded, and got along very well, as if they had been together for many years. As their love for each other grew, they decided to have a baby donkey. To the surprise of the owners, a baby donkey was born in the pasture. Congrats Mama and Papa Donkey, you now have a baby boy. We shall name him Rocco, with a nickname of Baby.
Baby grew up in the pasture with his parents, Mama and Papa who are very tame, loving and kind. Yet, as Baby grew, his Mama and Papa began to see him differently. He matured into a grown donkey, and the dynamics of the herd changed. What was once two donkeys, now became three donkeys with family issues. There was jealousy and challenges along with playfulness and love.
Then, those owners decided to move away from Gunter, and sell their house to two unknowing people who readily agreed to let the donkeys stay, as the original owners could not take them with them. This new couple became fast friends with the donkeys, and fell in love with these sweet, gentle, full-size donkeys. Mama, Papa and Baby came to trust them impeccably, as well. Rocco was renamed to Pickles, but again was commonly called Baby. Time went forward, and the new owners built the threesome herd a large, new shelter, just for them. The herd is very smart, as when it's raining, they head under their shelter. They also use it for protection from the north wind. When the grass doesn't grow during the winter, round bales of hay are their food of choice. Life was good and easy, except for the continuation of isolation for Baby. As Baby got older, Mama and Papa became more dominant. Baby was readily nudged away at Treat Time. He would be chased off by Papa on random and inconsistent occasions. What appeared to be intermittent isolation was becoming a way of life for Baby. He was the third wheel, the outcast, the one who was never first. This behavior by Mama and Papa began to create uncertainty in Baby, and he began to be more stand-offish. At times, Papa could even be physically harming to Baby. Is this how it's supposed to be, the owners wondered? This behavior concerned the new couple over time. Is this normal donkey hierarchy? Is Baby needing to find a place of his own - to be able to be himself?
Baby turned three years old recently. Granted this is still young in donkey years, as they live to 35 years old. A decision was made by the owners to give Baby a chance at life without being bossed around by his Mama and Papa. This was a long and thought out decision, that took many months to finalize. Baby was ready to be on his own, and become an independent donkey. He's ready to be a guard donkey for someone, ready to live his best life making his own decisions without intimidation and domination.
A search brought the owners to a farm that was needing one donkey to protect a foal, as well as an older horse. This was a perfect opportunity for Baby to step up to the plate. He could be himself. He knows how to protect, and this farm wanted him as a pet as well, which is how he's used to being treated. Baby would have the best of both worlds, as he could still do his "job" - and be loved.
A day and time was agreed upon, and a transfer from one pasture to another (not too far away) would take place. Now, Baby has never been harnessed, he's never been in a trailer, nor has he ever left his home of 3 years. How would this transfer actually happen, as he would need to be coxed into a horse trailer and driven to his new home. But it did happen, just last Saturday here on the Graves Farm. Baby walked (rather willingly) into the horse trailer, and went along with the process wonderfully. He was so gentle and good, and everyone was so proud of him.
Baby left the Graves Farm in a luxury horse trailer and headed out to his new chapter in life. This new chapter for him includes freedom, and the ability to become his own self. Where his potential was once stifled at one farm by his own donkey parents, changed in the blink of an eye to his own self-awareness, his needs and wants, as well as the ability to make his own decisions.
And Baby will live happily ever after. The End. It's not really the end. But that's how stories usually end, with The End.

There was one person who cried a few tears in this particular "loss" (surprise, that was me). Between Sugar and Baby leaving me this weekend, it was rough. With that said, how's Mama and Papa Donkey doing, you ask? Well, they are snuggling and side-by-side as they always have been. But I know it can't be easy. (Am I just placing my own feelings on them?). I feel for them. Do they look around for him? Do they miss him? It's rare that donkey families stay together, so what are the emotions they have? I wish I knew. As I go about my day, I pet Mama and Papa, I love on them as I always do, and they love me back as usual - without the uncomfortable "keeping Baby away" thing going on. But I can't help but wonder......was that just what happens in donkey families? I may never know. I can only do what I think is best for our sweet Baby. That's what we do in life. The best we can in any situation.

David sums this experience up as right-sizing. We are keeping the balance on the farm, doing what we think is best, and cultivating harmony and happiness for all who live here. It sounds easy, but sometimes it's hard. Since we have gone so long without loss or change, this seemed like a weekend of uncertainty. It will take a little time to settle into these changes with these farm-animal-world happenings here on The Graves Farm, but I have a feeling there's more unpredictable things in the future. Some good and some not-so-good, but nevertheless we will take things as they come and enjoy all the blessings we have. We are most grateful. Faith keeps us strong in times of trials. We also have to trust our own intuition, have self-compassion, and keep learning. And just do what we think is best.

It's going to be okay,
Cyndi


     
 



Sunday, February 4, 2018

With love, comes loss

It's a bit ironic that my last blog post was titled Goodbye, Things. It was in no way associated with what was "to come", but I felt a pang of "oh dear" when I saw that I had titled that as my last post. With that said, my heart is heavy. At this point, one might think I'm speaking of a relative or friend. Actually, I'm speaking of a recent happening on our farm.
Sugar is one of our newest additions to our chicken flock. We purchased two Polish (Silkie) chickens that are adorable, sweet natured, tame and bantam-sized (small breed). One was white, the other tan. We named them Sugar and Spice. We raised them in our shower inside the house, until they were ready to go outside to the Little Girl Coop. There is a transition process for adding chickens to an existing flock. Everyone does it a little different, and David and I have developed our own way of transitioning new chickens in with the others. This time was no different. Sugar and Spice moved from the shower to the Little Girl Coop, which is a closed, smaller coop in the barn, with a heat lamp to allow them time to adjust to the colder temperatures. The other chickens can get to know them, smell them, and adjust to them, before we let the newer chickens out to free range with the existing flock. It was during this time in the Little Girl Coop that we noticed Sugar was not her normal self. It was as if she lost control of her legs and feet. We did what all chicken people are told to do, and isolated her from the flock so that whatever she might have, is not given to the other chickens. A virus or disease can spread through a flock quickly and kill your entire chicken population. And it happens fast. We brought her back inside to the comfort and controlled environment of the shower. She was still eating and trying to drink, but her condition was progressively worsening day by day. Eventually, she could not eat or drink on her own, and her legs seemed paralyzed. We searched the internet for what might be the problem, all the while looking for a solution. A friend called her vet for advice, and we sought help from another chicken person. It appeared to be Marek's disease. This is horrible, as it's a fatal virus (very few chickens survive it, apparently) and now we run the risk of our other chickens being exposed to it, unless we got her out of the barn quick enough. Only time would tell. For now, our sweet little girl chicken, Sugar, is losing the battle. David and I begin feeding her (with a syringe) of our famous concoction consisting of wheat germ, peanut butter, electrolytes, and water. She readily opens her beak for us to feed her. She loves it actually, but is unable to control any of her body movements except her head. The virus is winning. We continue this for days. We sustain her life with this mixture of food and water, but her body has given out, and she cannot do anything but lay completely down. Head, wings, legs - everything is heavy on the floor of the shower on the pine shavings that are her bed. The suffering is hard to see, hard to watch, and is heart breaking. Now what? In all our time of having chickens, this is our first sick chicken. We once again go to the internet to search what other people have done, what is best, and what should we do next? It's not good news. Either we stop the food and water, and she slowly passes away. Or we "humanely" euthanize her to stop her suffering. Since I had began feeding her myself, I was guilty of continuing her situation, that was not going to get better. Only sustaining her misery.
After much education from chicken forums, thinking about it for some time, and talking with David, we knew what we had to do. We could not let her suffer any more. There were many helpful sources to help us process our situation. We had to accept this dilemma of a sick chicken who is dying. We don't let go easily. Many reputable chicken websites explain that with the responsibility of a flock, comes the responsibility of losses, and what to do in those situations. It won't always be rainbows and butterflies.
Fast forward to the ending of the story. Sugar passed away. Our hearts broke when she left us. It will take time to heal, but we must understand this is life on a farm. Her sister chicken, Spice is left alone without her best friend. It's a tragic loss for us, as it is our first loss. We have gone a very long time here on our "hobby" farm with healthy, strong and hearty animals. We haven't taken that for granted, mind you. We have always known that a time will come when something might happen. And that day came yesterday.
Rest In Peace, Sugar. We will march on with our flock, knowing that you are with us in spirit. The Circle of Life seems so logical and normal to me. Until I lost a chicken, and realize how delicate they really are. In the blink of an eye, she's gone. The blessing is that our flock is okay, and no one is showing those same symptoms. Truly a blessing.
Love and Loss. David said those words yesterday. With love, there is loss. It was a reminder I needed to hear. But, it's still hard.

Stay strong,
Cyndi





 

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Goodbye, Things

While on a run today, I continued listening to an audio book, "Goodbye, Things". As you may know by reading previous blogs of mine, I'm all about non-attachement. I'm not an expert at it, yet I am a work-in-progress. I think about letting go of material things, and I have incorporated the concept into my life with relative success. Yet sometimes, I have to ask myself if something I have is necessary or useful, and analyze the pros and cons of keeping it. Now a days, I am likely to rid myself of it.
Material things have always made me feel good, in the past. I liked having certain clothes, a particular car, that special bookcase or the purse that (I thought) spoke of my "success" in life. But something happened. When I begin to learn to let go - more and more - of my material things, I felt better. Way better than having things. I felt free. I felt clean. And I felt simple.
Having less meant I let go of what other people thought. I am secure knowing that I have what I need.  If my car is not the nicest, or my closet has a minimal set of clothing, I still have what I need. And I find this practice of non-attachment to material things translates into a healthier emotional well-being and a simpler life. Not to mention less to clean and clutter my living space.
Now, I have a long way to go, don't get me wrong. But once I started down this road, I can't even imagine turning off it. It's wonderful! I try not to get too crazy about it though. I wait until something strikes me as "are you sure you really need that?" or "that's been there for a long time". When I step off the curb, why have all this extra stuff? I just want to continue going down the road of saying 'Goodbye' to things as it arises - or if I'm in one-of-those moods to do so. And, I was in one-of-those moods the last few days.
Since the weather lately has been so cold and not conducive to barn cleaning and what-not,  I found these last few days calling my name to take the time to "nest" in the barn. It is my very favorite place to be. Peaceful and calm. I begin by mucking the sheep and chicken coop stalls. I had been making sure they all had plenty of straw during these blistery cold nights, and now it was time to change it out. The best part is, the straw from one place can be used in another place in the pasture. For example, where the donkeys walk up to the barn is mostly dirt. Spreading this "used" straw around that area keeps it dry and a nice place for them to walk and stand. I also changed out all the water buckets with fresh water, filled all the chicken food feeders, fluffed the coop shavings and tossed out all the extra chicken poop I could gather. I will say we maintain it well, but giving it a once-over now and then is refreshing. Even though I get dirty doing it, I somehow feel cleaner. During this process is whereby I cleanse myself of unnecessary things. I don't need this.....I don't need that. Why is that here? It's time to move that. And then Wa-La! The magic of the barn is sparkling, it smells good, and is crisp and uncluttered. It's simple, and it makes me happy. Less is more.
As I write this, I realize that this is really all normal things most people do. My "Goodbye" part comes into play as I'm going through this process of nesting, cleaning, or just being in the mood to do it. I see things differently, and going through these motions have a different intention now. Which brings me to this book I was listening to. The words, "There's happiness in having less." are golden. I am able to understand what that means, finally. Granted, I'm not getting myself down to a mattress and two set of clothes. Yet, the author's minimalist philosophy sounds wildly attractive to me. I can do that, and I could live that life. I actually have, living on the side of the road before. But in real life, day to day, taking my material things down to my personal minimum is a journey I'm happy to be on. Yes, sometimes I have to do it when my husband is gone or away. I typically won't throw out his things or something he may want. But downsizing things when it's just yourself is easier. There's no one to ask and justify to. You just do it. Just so you know, he usually doesn't notice things are missing if I do it a little at a time. Bright side? You can always go buy something if you really did need it after all. But that's not the norm, nor my intention to have to buy something again.
I figured out the important thing is not the measurement of have many or few things I have, but my own state of mind in regards to it. If you have a lot of things are are truly happy, that's totally fine. For me, discarding memorabilia is not the same as discarding memories. Actually discarding these things helps me remember them. I'm all about each of us doing our own thing.
For me, less clutter physically around me means less clutter in my mind. When my environment is clean, I feel clean. So as I moved around the barn yesterday and today, it's a representation of my mind, as well as my physical being. This afternoon, I kept walking back out to the barn, to feel that feeling again. It's been a journey to get there, as our barn started out in a sad state of chaos. Yet now, it's open, airy, and fresh - plus includes just the things that I need, and they are in their place. It's a win-win for my animals and my own mind.
To add to this wonderful non-attachment concept I've adopted, is a term my husband enlightened me on. Right-Sizing. I really like that term. Why have I not heard it? It lends to my saying 'Goodbye' to material things. It helps provide a direction when I may need it. Maybe I will never be a Minimalist, but I can be a Right-Sizer.
I equate this new term Right-Sizing with finding balance in my life. I'll continue to focus on finding balance in the physical things around me using logic, understanding and self-compassion. When I realized that the guilt that keeps me from minimizing is the true waste, it helps put things in perspective. I sometimes write myself a Permission Slip that it's okay to get rid of material things around me, which ultimately brings feelings of purity, contentment and joy. Which all keeps me at the corner of Happy Cyndi and Inner Peace.
So as I lean into the continuation of minimizing my material things, decluttering my mind, and right-sizing my life, I look forward to the fact I can do this. I am healthy, motivated and love life. I am most grateful to be aware that this makes me happy, and has not just physical, but mental advantages. As well as my daughter not having to go through tons of "things" after I step off the curb one day. Your welcome, Lauren.
Here's to putting the 'right' in right-sizing,
Cyndi

 



Thursday, January 18, 2018

This cold weather

After a second round of cold weather, I began being asked by friends and family, quite frequently, "How are the animals doing with these freezing temperatures for days at a time?". I must first say that I'm always touched that others are thinking about the safety and well-being of farm animals. It's easily assumed that they are all okay. We see them in the pastures while driving by in our warm, toasty cars. We see the horses in the fields as it's raining, and they just stand there. For hours. The cattle have the same expression on their faces whether it's cold or hot. How do they do it? Who suffers and who tolerates it well?
Before I begin my journey with an update on our animals, I will re-iterate how many, and what we have. In the front pasture, we have three ewe/sheep (who are all around the 1 year old mark), and two Great Pyrenees (Livestock Guard Dogs/LGD). In the back pasture, we have three full size donkeys. They are in separate pastures due to the fact that the donkeys sometimes run/chase after the sheep. The donkeys appear to do this mostly for fun and play, but we decided to not take any risks, and separated them in separate pastures. It works out well. Both of these pastures have access to shelter/cover for them all. We have a large run-in shed (20X26) for the donkeys, with the back wall facing the north so that north-wind does not bother them. The sheep and LGD's have access to the barn, which has a pen for them - all together. They do not get full-run of the whole barn, as they actually have a large-size "doggie-sheep" door they use to go inside the barn, into a fenced pen area inside the barn. Their pen has plentiful straw for the sheep, and two large dog beds for our protectors. And they all know whose place is whose in the pen. The sheep do not sleep on the dog beds, for some reason. Which is a good thing, as the dogs really deserve those comfortable places for all the hard work they do.
We house two chicken coops inside the barn as well. When we first moved here, we had the chicken coops outside like normal people do. We discovered that extreme cold, rain and/or harsh sunshine during the summer were all reasons to place these coops inside the barn, and allow the chickens to free range on their own accord. They come and go out of the barn on their own. If they want to be inside (for any reason), they can do so. And at the same time, those chickens who wish to free range, can go outside and eat bugs, dust bathe and do chicken things. They come and go from the barn through several smaller openings that allow them to do so. They use their coops mainly for 1) sleeping at night, or 2) egg laying time. We have two coops because our community of chickens have included smaller, younger pullets that need time to adjust to the larger flock. So, we have a big girl coop and a little girl coop. Introducing new chickens to the flock is a process. Currently, we have 10 chickens. They are all hens, as rooster are not allowed by the Sheriff (my husband). When we have accidentally gotten a rooster (as a baby chick) they have grown up to be quite a disruption. So any accidental roosters we had, have found new homes (Thank you, Preston Trail Farms!), and they go on to live healthily, happy lives. With that said, our recent new additions, Daisy and Lily were not only meat chickens, but one was a rooster, and they now live on another farm. We have since gotten 4 new pullets (girl chickens) who will grow up to lay eggs. We named them Peaches and Creme, and Sugar and Spice. Peaches and Creme have joined the flock nicely, although not old enough to be egg layers yet.....but soon . Sugar and Spice are only 2 months old and will join the flock outside when weather permits. Until then, yes, they live inside a shower in a bathroom in our house. They have shavings, food, water and a perch, just like all the chickens before them have done. Until they are older and fully-feathered, it's best to keep them somewhere warm - and that's where we do it. In a shower. It's easy to clean, easy to access them (hold them!), and get them accustomed to our "way" here on The Graves Farm. The chickens that come through the house/shower route are often the chickens you are able to go pick up in the yard. They are tame, sweet and enjoy the love of people. Or at least tolerate people holding and petting them. When people visit and realize some of the chickens don't mind being picked up and held, those are the ones raised in our shower inside the house. Mind you, we do not shower in that shower while they are in there. It's strictly a chicken holding place, until young chicks grow up enough to be outside.
In addition to the sheep, LGD's, donkeys and chickens, we have 8 or 9 barn cats. Why am I not certain on the actual count? It's because we have one (sometimes two) barn cats that just appear. Sometimes they are around so much, we even name them. Then, we might not see them again for awhile. The barn cats that are permanent fixtures are: Fi, June Bug, July, Finn, Kitty, Smokey, Sweet Pea and Preston. There have been other cats that come and go, but we never know whose they are or where they came from. We have one big boy cat hanging around lately, taking up residence whom we named Boots. We see him now and then. But overall, most of these cats have been "gifted" to us. Friends or family who have a cat that they need to "get rid of" for various reasons. It's like a community of House-cats Gone Wild. People (they ask first) bring their cats here, and we give them a wonderful place to stay. They are well fed, have plenty of water, and find the abundance of cat beds and kitty climbers in the garage and barn enticing. They are all smart kitties. So smart, they learn how to come in the doggie door and into the house. That leads them into the laundry room, which is now called Cat Land. The door to the house (from the laundry room) is kept shut, as we do not want to live in Cat Land ourselves. But the laundry room provides a safe haven for any kitty who desires the next-best-thing to being inside a house. The laundry room has cat food, cat beds and water as well. They really only use it when it's cold, as when the weather is warm, and they enjoy sleeping outside.
Lastly, we have our two "inside" dogs, Bridgette and Maybe. They now live in Cat Land as well, as since that door is shut full-time now, there are actually no animals inside the house (except in the laundry room). The house is always much cleaner now since this has occurred. No animals in the house. It works for us.
Now, let's talk about this freezing weather for days on end. How is everyone doing?
1) The LGD's:  Levi and Whisper are big dogs with lots of dog hair. Layers and layers of fur. That particular breed is meant to live outside and guard livestock. They are awesome. Period. Their fur coats provide the warmth they need, but I will say these cold temperatures have put them to the test. They have their dog beds available to them for comfort and warmth, in the pen area of the barn. They are protected from rain, sleet, and wind. They are up most of the night guarding the parameter of our property, making sure no predators cross the fence line. They are diligent and loyal. They protect the sheep instinctually. We could not have all our ancillary animals (chickens, barn cats and sheep) without them. They are the reason everyone else is alive and stays safe. They are churning through this winter, but I know nicer weather would make their lives more comfortable. Hang in there!
2) The sheep: Belle, Eve and Cotton have grown out their wool coats. They love this cold weather. I assume they think it's refreshing. The summer is so brutal for them, that this is a walk in the park. They stay outside much of the time, but if it's really cold and windy, or cold rain, or both, they are smart creatures and come inside their pen area in the barn (same area the dogs have their dog beds).  This is their safe place - and their protection from the elements. We keep plenty of straw down for them to snuggle in if they do happen to be cold. It's hard to tell if they are cold? We have friends who also have sheep, and they have told me they already lost 2 of their sheep to this cold weather. So since I'm new to having sheep, all I can do is provide warm options for them, and a place to get out of the wind and rain, if they want to. And usually they do. They only like warm rain. Kinda like me.
3) The donkeys: Pumpkin (Mama), Papa and Baby (Pickles). These full size donkeys are amazing. Smart, funny, and full of personality. They play, love and communicate their needs well. They too, have grown out their coats. In the summer, they are pristine and smooth. In the winter, they have longer, scraggly hair, which they will shed in the Spring. We had a new shelter, a Run-In shed as it's called, built for them before this winter came. It's plenty big for them to get under, and they do. It's three-sided, with plenty of room for all three of them to get under when the north wind blows, or rain comes, or it's just plain cold and they want to settle into their straw. It's a place they can call their own.
4) The chickens: Ginger (head hen), Butterscotch (her right-hand man/hen), Pebbles, Pepper, Sunshine, Butter, Peaches, Creme, Sugar and Spice are all resilient. These girlz, wow. They are hardy, bright and a great flock of chickens. Everyone gets along, for the most part. They love free-ranging, and put themselves to bed at night - on their own. When dusk falls, they head to the barn to roost on their own special spots for the night. In this cold weather, they poof out their feathers and somehow use that technique to keep themselves warm. They don't often choose to go to the very inside of their coop, where it seems it would be the warmest place. Nope, they are fine with the cold temperatures. They have surprised me the most, in these frigid low teens of temps. They manage it just fine. Simply amazing. The biggest thing I've noticed is they lay less eggs in the winter. I'm told the reason for this is because there is less daylight hours, and that is needed for their egg production. We still get eggs each day, just less now that in the summertime.They require very little with this cold weather. We shut the barn doors more now with the colder weather, and shut all the barn windows to keep the draft down in the barn. That helps a lot!
5) The barn cats. Our community of cats is full of every personality you could imagine. Overall, they do well with each other. Some prefer the garage area, some prefer the barn and some prefer the laundry room. 5 of them are consistently in the laundry room during these cold spells. They go in and out through the doggie door, mostly sleeping inside on the cat beds we have placed strategically. This cold weather is not appealing to them. But they are all making it. In the garage, we have several heated cat beds available. Fi has claimed one, as July has claimed another. They all figure out what works best for them. We give them plenty of "warm" options.
Most importantly........how do we keep all our animals water sources from freezing?! Water is key for all our animals. We have invested in heated buckets and de-icer's in existing water buckets. These devices turn on and off automatically, to ensure the water in the bucket(s) does not freeze. It does not necessarily heat the water, but it keeps it from freezing. Magic. We have these in each pasture, in the barn, and in the garage, so that no one is without water during freezing times. This has made our life SO much easier. It took having a electrician to come out and assist us with new GFI plugs and other necessary adjustments, but is an investment that will pay-off each winter. As far as food goes, we do have to feed more during the winter, as nothing is growing for the animals to eat. We buy round bales of hay for the donkeys, alfalfa square bales for the sheep, and grain for everyone. This is only necessary during the winter months. We find this pretty easy to manage overall. Once you get a system in place, it runs itself with daily maintenance.
I'll close with one last thought. My favorite times of the day are morning and night feedings in the barn - even when it's 20 degrees out there. The love is overwhelming. No where else I'd rather be.
Ewe puuuurfect as ewe are,
Cyndi

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Surrender

As I age, I find myself doing "old people" things. I recognize it, I feel it, and I wonder if there's many more times I'm doing "old people" things and not even realizing. Granted, as a mid-50 year old women, I am entitled to the classification of older-age, if you will. I may not have fallen in full-force, but I am certainly on the cusp enough to know that other's perception (of myself) can be that of a "older' person.
I'm not taking about old-people things like eating applesauce, taking naps, collecting coins or playing cribbage. Or driving 20mph when he speed limit is 60 (with the blinker on), failing miserably at the self checkout at the grocery store (oh, and have coupons), or general complaining. I'm talking about the interaction with society, others around us (young adults, etc) and technology. We are all going to move slowly, misplace things and not remember as well as we used to. That's life. But, how am I reacting to real-life around me? Technology - am I accepting of it? People - am I tolerant of others?
Yesterday, as I was attempting to install my additional Home Google Mini (we have one set up, and use it frequently), and the install did not go as planned. Installing and setting up the second one was not like the first. There's other criteria necessary, like modem setting changes. Well, I don't have access to change the settings in my modem. Rise Broadband does. And if they do make these changes necessary for my new Mini, there are other unintentional consequences that may ensue. So, what to do. Throughout this process with embracing technology, I have a knee-jerk reaction to say, "Forget it, it's too difficult" or "It's too hard" when things get confusing. So, I made a conscious decision to stick with this setup of my additional Mini til the bitter end. It would be too easy to say, "Nevermind!".
Fast forward.......I rode this out til the end, even calling Google Help to ask about it. They were the ones to confirm my suspicions regarding the necessary modem changes. Google is aware that their product requires it, and that many people do not have the access to do that. First, that was wonderful to hear a company say that they are aware of the limitations, and not blame it on something or someone else. Very refreshing - thus creating more respect for Google in this process. Unfortunately for me, Rise Broadband will not be making changes to my modem and the Mini gets returned to the store. The moral to my story is : I used this technology project as one of learning. I tried to embrace this process, and follow the necessary steps needed to see it through. That's not always the case for me. So, even though the additional Mini set-up process did not get completed, I considered it a success. I rode it out.
I have found myself doing this more and more lately. No, I'm certainly not a expert at it - or an expert at anything, really. I found that I am good at fighting against my own nature. I can learn to adapt to new technology, and the more I do this, the better off I may be in keeping up with society. I will need to continue learning what's appropriate, what's safe and what's relevant. I have a wonderful example of two "older-people" technology mentors. First, my aunt and uncle. Every time I visit them, we catch up on life happenings, then immediately they ask, "Tell me something new you like - and use - on your iPhone.". They sit eagerly, like little sponges, awaiting my in-service on something new and useful for them. And it's almost like a competition for them to know more than the other one knows. They don't like to be texted in a group text, they like a "personal" text only, please. My sweet aunt has now passed, but I still see her sparkling eyes looking into mine, searching for knowledge in regards to her magnificent iPhone. She has granddaughters - who are teenagers - who she would do anything for to keep up with them regarding their phone skills. Their desire to stay current on technology is inspiring. That's the attitude I want to emulate. And I think about them when I struggle with technology. What would they do? Second, is my Dad. He's a social media king of sorts. He uses his computer on a regular basis, and when something is not-quite-right, he seeks help and assistance. Since he lives in an area with other seniors all around him, he barters his computer fixes with other things. I'll teach you tennis lessons, if you can help me fix my computer. Or better yet, he can simply go up and take a computer class, taught by another retiree who enjoys doing so. It's like a Senior Barter System. I'll assist you, you assist me. They do for each other. My dad also seeks out new technology not only on his computer, but via social media. He's an avid Facebook-er, reads blogs, checks his email regularly, and many other things, I'm sure. Just keeping up with each Windows update is a chore for anyone. And he knows when it's time to do so. Go Dad! Now, if I could get a iPhone in his hands, he would never look back and surpass us all with his new phone skills. His potential with technology is endless, and his computer skills are evident of this. Now, if I can get the flip-phone out of his hands, there will be no limits on what might happen next.
As I look to older-age people for inspiration regarding technology, I'll need to continue to surrender myself to it. Surrender my reluctance, my fear and my own push-back to it. I really want to embrace it, so that I can stay current. But it's harder as you get older to do so. Surrender, Cyndi. Let it all go, quiet that chatter in your head that says "don't do it". It's a fight against my old-age self. Don't be afraid of the shaming and teasing from young adults as you try your hardest to figure it out. Stay strong. Keep searching and trying new things. And Cyndi, don't forget to ask young adults how they do things, what they use, and how they use a particular app. Keep growing your knowledge! Surrender to it, and it will come easier. I'm trying.
I'll close with this......
My Observations on Young vs Old People Things:
1) Any young adult who says they hate society is considered a hipster. But when Gramps complains about the hip-hop music, he's old.
2) There is no way as a young adult you would let your bff or boyfriend wear matching clothing, but when maw-maw and paw does it, it's cute.
3) A young adult is weighed down with just carrying their phone, while Grandma's purse is the gateway to Narnia.
4) Old people put on glasses to look at their phone......or set the font to extra-large. Young people just shake their head. Little do they know it will catch them eventually. We never think it will.
5) Old people send out "joke emails" or "news emails", young people Snap and Insta. Even texting is iff-y.
6) Older women wear nicer sandals, but don't get a pedicure. Guilty.
7) Young people have nicer phones. And have probably never used a flip-phone. Much less that box phone that's still in your trunk.
8) Panty lines. Need I say more?
It's freeing, exhilarating - and a challenge - to get older. My motto will be surrender. That's the only way I can make it through. Just surrender to it, Cyndi. Embrace it, lean into to. Every day is a gift.

Here's to educating myself with young peoples knowledge,
Cyndi



Monday, January 1, 2018

2018

I'm not one for New Years resolutions. I've never really been. Yet this year, my thoughts have been in full-gear, churning out lists of things I want to "get going" on. Is that the same as a resolution? I may have to give into the notion that it is. I'm not sure yet.
I was at yoga class yesterday, and the yoga instructor begin to tell the class how a word - or set of thoughts - speak to her, and after awhile, she recognizes it and acts on it. I thought that was a interesting way of recognizing how the universe and God is speaking to us. I think that happens to each of us, and when we are are open to "listening" then we are able to grasp it and utilize it in our own lives. My set of recurring thoughts lately are based on where my next steps will take me. This continuum is based on creating a life of ease, joy and contentment. Even though I may be late-to-the-game, I've finally realized I have the exclusive ability to chose many things around me in life. I used to just let things happen, let people in my life randomly, and deal with it based on my inability to set boundaries. Now, I notice I make a conscious effort to chose the kind of energy I would like around me. This in itself, has changed the way I look at life. It certainly reduces conflict, drama and ill-will within myself - and to others.
As I slowly began to recognize this journey, I notice who around me is authentic. Who around me really cares. I thought I knew, but I didn't really. I wasn't being discriminatory with my feelings regarding situations and people, therefore this led me down the rabbit hole of chaos. How did I figure this out? I think I finally got tired of my spirit being in chaos on a regular basis. It did not feel like I was living a wholehearted life, and looking after myself as I could. - or should. So 2017 brought about ways for me to deter the chaos, and move inward. I was more careful of who I let in my life. How much I told others. What excuses I made to them, or better yet, if I even gave excuses to others.
2017 brought me the ability to not have to give a Why. To not have to go places when I desire not to. To investigate why I'm feeling like I may not want to go, and process those feelings......instead of ignoring them. To have self-compassion for myself, and live life more freely. To practice moderation.
Now, in a new year I want to continue this lifestyle, as it feels good to do so. Yet, I'm ready for more. I don't necessarily know what "more" is. So, I begin meditating on it, and allowing myself to think through it until I come up with answers. I think we all do this instinctively, it's just that I've noticed myself doing this more and more.
According to an audio book I've been listening to, this is mindfulness. When we hone our skill of being keen observers of ourselves. Paying attention to what's occurring while it's happening. Paying attention without judgement, comparing or accessing. Just paying attention to what's happening at those moments, and feeling the feelings. Good or bad, just openness. What I find interesting about this, is Lauren (my daughter) and I had had a discussion on this not long ago. Whereby we can feel feelings, and not make a judgement on them to whether they are good or bad. That's the ability of being mindful. It's a heightened awareness of ourselves.
I place judgement on my feelings all the time. "I feel bad I'm thinking this", or "I feel awful feeling this way", etc. And to initiate the ability to not classify my feelings, moved me into a new realm. And it takes practice for me to do this. I find I need to remind myself to feel my feelings, to give myself permission to do so, and let it be.
It seems so complicated, but I found the more I do this, the more I want to do this. Yes, I fall back into my "old ways" as they are comfortable and I'm used to them. Ahhhhh, my mindlessness life was easy. Yet, I like the way being mindful feels. It's forgiving. It's almost like stopping time and watching what is happening around me. For me, that takes practice. My usual state of mindlessness kicks in far too often. My semi-awareness, habitual ways and inattention to my own feelings doesn't feel so good anymore. And, it often brings about suffering.
I look forward to a new year because it brings me additional time to practice my new skill of mindfulness. I've been using it to think about my career, where I work, who I work with, how I want to be, and who I want to trust in my life, etc. Even though it seems like a "door" shutting, it's actually a window opening. Bringing in fresh air, sunshine and a warm breeze. I don't have to be the same ole me. I can be a better version of myself - and I look forward to doing just that. I do get frustrated with myself, as some days I am not the best version of myself. And trust me, I recognize it when it's happening, it's like a bad taste in your mouth. I feel bitter and bad when I'm not being my best self. And this is where the cycle happens, where we beat ourselves up because our "best" was not good enough, and I judge myself, and loose my self-compassion. So, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again at life. IMPERFECT, yet knowing I Am Enough. I am enough without being what others desire me to be. Better yet, what I desire myself to be.
And with that said, that's what propels me to live life wholeheartedly. To be the best version of myself I can be at any given time. To practice mindfulness, and recognize when I'm being mindless. It helps me be a keen observer of my own life. And I like how that feels, so I think I'll practice that some more.
Here's to us being the best version of us,
Cyndi