New Beginnings

We live

in a world

of

sunrises

if the earth is given a chance to start over every single day, aren't you?

- Cleo Wade

I just love Cleo Wade's work. She's an artist and poet who is an advocate for reminding us through her books and poetry that our life is constantly in a state of design. This means, she says, you have the power to redesign it at all times. Thank you, Cleo. I love your beautiful book, Heart Talk, and your children's book, What The Road Said which is an all-time favorite of mine. 

Books are my window where I see the outer - and inner world around me. And not just because my daughter is a librarian 😉  When I think of what my dream date would look like, it would be with my favorite writers/authors:  Brene Brown, Cleo Wade and Anne Lamott. Inspiring women who write on the topic of (many things!) including vulnerability, hope, shame, resilience and the power of love. They remind me to know the value of knowing my value. 

Gifts of Imperfection (my fav book by Brene Brown)

As I move through my little life, often times unwittingly and unknowingly yet trying hard to be self-aware with mild success, I find myself presented with gifts. My most recent gift? Charlotte. 

Char, who has an a uncanny resemblance to Sugar

Rising Strong (another great read by Brene Brown)

Char is a 2 1/2 year old bichon frice who is the classic broken spirit-rescue-in-need-of-safety-and-love doggo, from a local rescue organization who takes in small dogs that are about to be euthanized. Local shelters call her organization to offer up small dogs "on the list". She dedicates her life to picking these doggies up (young and old) caring for them, and then works to rehome them. 

Why Charlotte? Well, there's irony in this answer. Let's back up this story to when I ended up with Sugar (also adopted) by chance - and not with intention. At the time, I was to see another dog and God decided I needed Sugar. Frankly, we needed each other. Fast forward to now. I've been thinking that Sugar needs a friend to be at home with her, as Maybe slows down. 

Levi is so patient with Maybe.

Maybe waits for him to finish
his meal and lick his bowl
clean for him, of course.
That's what friends are for.

You see, Sugar is a flight risk who thinks that going out in the world to look for me while I'm at work is a good idea. Her dog friends tend to keep her at home and remind her to wait for me. So my thought process is that if I get Sugar a friend now, then they will bond and be each others mates eventually. Bottom line? Sugar does not do well alone, and once Maybe leaves us, Sugar will be alone. 

So, I am to "see about" a small dog who is also a malti-poo and when the lady brings that particular dog to see me, she also brings a surprise dog, Charlotte, whose recently been taken in and not on her website for adoption yet. Char was scared, barking out of her mind, showing her teeth, and just crazed in every way.

Char hid, and her panicky, non-stop barking
 upon her arrival informed me of
her level of scared-ness. 10/10

Poor thing was so scared and I knew it. Others would see her differently, even assuming she was aggressive or mean. I get it, she's exhibiting behavior that appears that way, but yet, this is what dogs (esp rescue dogs and homeless dogs) do to protect themselves from further harm.Yet, in all this chaos,  I knew she was mine and she knew I was hers. We've been side by side ever since. 

Day 1 : after she realized I was here 
to love her, not hurt her.

Charlotte loves the farm, me, her pack-mates of Sugar and Maybe (well, Maybe doesn't love much these days except food and sleep so there's that) and she fell into our routine so quickly that it's like she's always been here. 

Char stayed on a leash with me the first 
few times out to the barn and to 
feed the animals. She met
everyone slowly. 

One thing for sure is: she loves walking and running with the cart/stroller. These two love their cart-time. Maybe also enjoys this as well, but only as a ride-along now.

Charlotte’s particular broken-ness that needs addressing? Most men. She's not a fan and this makes it safe to assume a male has created core memories in her little mind of harm, feeling unsafe or anything along those lines. She's insanely scared of most men. 

So we have some things to work on as most broken dogs from rescues need. After all, Sugar would not let David touch or pick her up for 6 months. Now Char is on that same train in regards to letting a man near her. But it's something we can slowly work on and weave back into her life. We'll focus on helping her feel safe again, giving abundant love and a permanent place in our pack here on the farm. Yes, she does love the 4 livestock guard dogs and is slowly adjusting to the farm animals. But there's one in particular that she's not fond of. Another new gifted farm animal I recently received unexpectedly who’s also scared and unsure of her new life here. Her name is Baby.

Apparently, Baby will not fit in the igloo 
as I had expected she might. She’ll 
need a pig house. 

Power of vulnerability (I love this book, Brene)

Gosh, what happened? Well I was driving home from work the week before last (was it a Wednesday? I don't remember) and I got a phone call from my farrier who was frantic about needing a home immediately for a pig. The conversation went something like this, " The owner is having surgery tomorrow and there's no one to care for the pig. And she's the same size as Maggie (my pig) and she's tame and sweet and used to live in the house and and and and and and can you take her pleeeeease? Her name is Baby and you will just love her!"

Fine, yes, I'll take her. I was feeling completely vulnerable in this situation. And so, I set a boundary. But she has to live outside with Maggie. In a pen. Okay, she says, they will bring her to you tonight. Tonight?! They? Whose they? 

Daring Greatly (another amazing book by Brene)

And sure enough, at 8 pm that same night, a man shows up with a pig named Baby in a open crate on a trailer from where he drove her like that for 2 hours and Baby is scared out of her mind. She's twice as big as Maggie, and I'm told she's only ever eaten people-food, particularly pizza, and is now 'charging' at the man and myself because she's so scared and I'm sure she will take a finger off my hand if given the chance. 

I'm having immediate regrets about this decision. To make the circus even more crazy, Charlotte is barking out of her mind at the man with the scared pig, that I have to place Charlotte (along with Sugar for emotional support) in my truck and roll up the windows so not to scare the pig more. And now to think we have to push/navigate/encourage this pig all the way across the yard and around the barn to Maggie's pen. I had been told she "comes to the shake of food" but this pig aint moving. Baby is not having any of this and could care a less about food this time of night. Let's just say with lots of prodding, pushing and dodging her snout with sharp teeth showing, we finally make it across the yard and around the barn to Maggie's pen with all our fingers intact geeezzzz.

The man could not leave fast enough, and I'm still not exactly sure who he was in relation to all this because it seems it was not his idea to make the 2 hour drive there and back and he knew nothing much about the pig except her name is Baby and she loves pizza. It was a drop and run....for him.

After I see him off, I head back over to Maggie's pen to find Maggie and Baby (both 'only pigs') in a full on pig fight. I've never seen a actual pig fight before but can now be considered an expert on it. They were making pig noises I've never heard or knew existed. Baby is huge and the hair she does have was standing straight up along her neck and down her back. She looked like a wild boar. What have I done. 

Pig Fight Rules:

1) Don't try to break it up yourself unless you want to get bit by a pig.

2) Figure out how to distract them with food or something. Anything.

3) Separate them immediately and in any way you can and keep them that way. And in this case, at 9:30 pm, figure out a fence situation to keep them from harming each other.  

4) Find the antimicrobial spray for all the bites on their ears and sides of their faces.

5) Figure out why you said yes when you should have said no. Apparently, my life story. 

Luckily, I'm a Fence Master and I have random fencing around the farm that I could throw together to keep them separate. And that I did. I place fairly-strong portable fencing down the middle of Maggie's pen to keep them apart. That'll do, I think, until I can get something more permanent for them. I gotta get to bed. 

As I laid in bed that night, I wondered who would be the winner of this pig fight? Maggie was protecting her space. Baby was scared and mad. Maggie is smaller yet more agile. Baby doesn't move about well due to her size but man that girl has some sharp teeth and is not afraid to use them. The answer to this question was not one I wanted to know the answer to. I would need to keep these only children, I mean only pigs.....separate. What have I done. Oh I've already said that, haven't I. 

Morning comes and everyone is still alive - and separate. I do my morning farm chores and head into workie work. I arrive back home from work 10 hours later jiggity jig and guess whose back together? No, not Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott. Those silly pigs.

And guess whose all bit up again on their ears and face, again. Yep, you guessed it. Maggie and Baby. Baby pushed that fence apart in one weak area, just enough to slip through and apparently regretted not being able to get back to her side, by the looks of things. Let's just say I spent a fair amount of time fixing the fence to where that would not happen again. And sprayed their wounds with anti microbial spray once again. 

The purple on her is the color of the 
wound spray

This is going to be a long term living situation. Separate, that is. And am I to keep Baby forever? Is anyone going to take her back? This I still do not know. Yet, it's pretty safe to assume I'll be keeping her at this point. Which means I need to build her a pig house because the igloo is much too small for her. After all, Maggie can get in it and used to sleep in it before I got her an official pig house. But this is not true for Baby. Baby happens to be a much larger girl, as well as older which lends to her residency here at the sunshine senior resort. She gets to live out the rest of her years here, assuming that she is allowed to stay, which I’m thinking the answer to that is yes. Funny thing is, nobody has said for sure about her length of stay, nor have I asked. No matter that, Welcome, Baby!

They do well together with a fence in between

Obviously not the same breed of pig 🙄

So I'm in the process of building her a pig house from random things around on the farm. I have positioned her in a place in Maggie’s pen that is actually under an awning already. Yet, I need to make sure she is warm as the winter arrives. Pigs get cold as they have little fur or hair to keep them warm. So a pig house is being constructed around her spot she's chosen, all on her own. She's decided where she's comfortable, and that's okay, Baby. I'll build it around you. And so I did. 

I've taken misc things around the farm and
created Baby a shelter of her own. 
It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there. 

The random door is a temp roof. 
There's still work to do to get 
her house winter-ready. 
Her pig house will be made from
ingredients I already have.

Braving the Wilderness (such a good book, Brene)

As both Charlotte and Baby settle into this brave new world they have been dropped into, I rejoice. Char has come around quickly showing her ability to potty train, accept Ryan who is a male in the house, learn the routines we have around the farm, and begin to trust her life again and show her cute little personality. She's independent yet needy, strong yet scared, and learning to love again. She'll be wonderful for Sugar because they each have traits the other does not. God knows. He just knows what we all need. I'm forever grateful.

And what a wonderful time to express our gratitude over this Thanksgiving holiday. It's hard to say just one thing that I'm thankful for because I feel thankful for everything. Esp the gift of waking up each day. For my health. For the love I'm able to give and receive. For family and friends. For the opportunity to work and help others, all while being able to pay my bills. Everything. And during our Thanksgiving meal......

Inspection in progress

Asking what the mashed potatoes are.
Have we not given this to him before? 😮

.....when I asked Brooks what he's thankful for, giving him an example of monster truck. He says back to me, "That's not a food". And in that moment, I realized in his mind, Thanksgiving was a time to be thankful for food things. You can only say a food your thankful for. He picked bread. I picked turkey (sorry Paul). And the realization of how impactful we are as adults to influence these young minds is daunting. Everything we say and do seeps into their brains. What a huge responsibility we have to all children to steer them, teach them, and help them become grateful and helpful human beings. Certainly one of the hardest things we do in life. 

I'm heading out to the barn to care, love and relish in these beautiful creatures I've been gifted. May your holidays be filled with love and light. 

And may your first love last forever.

You are your first love. Take care of yourself.

-Cleo Wade

Until next time,

Cyndi