Making it all make sense

It may or may not ever make sense. Apparently all I need to do is blog my big feelings every now and then. Sometimes, it feels hard for me to overly complain. I feel like I've gotten out of the habit of big complaints. Oddly, it's hard to allow myself the worth that things should be better when they are so wrong. Why? Because millions of people in the world have terrible and bad things happening to them. And I think of all the badness in the world and it brings me back to a place of not wanting to complain. I find myself reflecting on Anne Frank's words from her diary that speak of her view on complaining: "Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we don't have". 

I've long held Anne Frank's sense of not complaining near and dear to my heart and mind. I still complain, but I usually realize when I'm doing it. My whole last blog post was a gigantic complaint. Somehow, I felt justified in it, because I usually don't complain that big. Oh, but I let it all out. And then, the universe shifted, God laid His hands down on us, and boom-pow, David was able to have his appts, PET and MRI scans at MD Anderson. And......drum roll.....his oncologist gave him a big fat A+ again. We are elated, grateful and amazed that he was able to get through the insurance issues we've had. Turns out this new health insurance did make him pay a couple more thousand to get this completed, but we knew this had to be done and paid the price despite what all the employees (at my work) had been told would happen (i.e. no addt increase in amounts to existing deductibles). Whoops, almost started the complaints again. Nonetheless, we are thrilled that attempt #3 was successful and David was able to get the care that's needed and due. Hip hip hooray for his fabulous results and I'm so happy that he's moved through this particular cycle, although late due to circumstances beyond our control, of his cancer surveillance. It's not until 3 years post-chemo/radiation that he'll be able to be deemed closer to being truly cancer free. We are not quite there yet, but each visit is a step closer. Due to the nature of SNUC, David is to be monitored closely because if SNUC sneaks back in.......no bueno. 

And while we are on the good news train, I was informed a few days ago that the new health insurance did begin paying at Texas Oncology. It's been since Oct 1 and is now Nov 20, that I can finally start unwinding. The medical bills in the world of cancer can be quite large, and I've been very concerned about this since Oct 1. And as Anne Frank once said, "What is done cannot be undone, but one can prevent it happening again." And that, Anne Frank, will be my motto. All that has been done cannot be undone. And I will make changes to prevent this (best as I can) from happening again. When I think of all that Anne Frank went through, along with all the Holocaust victims and survivors, I push towards her words of staying true to "ideals, dreams, and cherished hopes" as Anne would say. My own middle name is Anne, and I've always loved reading and rereading Anne's words of hope and equality as they stand the test of time. 

So, Anne, I'll move forward knowing that's exactly what you did in your own life. Resisting the urge to  complain, look for the good, always search for happiness, and as she says, "I can shake off everything as I write, my sorrows disappear and my courage is reborn." Such a wise soul at such a young age. 

And yes, I'll likely complain again in the future. I'm not at an Anne Frank caliber. But a girl can try.

Complain-Free Post

In honor of Anne, she would expect no complaints. So we'll stay on the good news train today. 

Let us start in the chicken world. Thus far, we have had approx 12 silkie/frizzle chicks born. We had many more eggs, but many were not viable. We lost a couple to unknown causes, then we gave a couple of chicks away to friends, and then we will sell a couple of them as well. The rest, we will keep. 

2 of the silkie chicks are squeezed in tight
at night to keep warm,
and living outside with their mamas.

While inside the house, under the red heat
lamp are two yellow with black strips,
one tiny (youngest) grey one,
and one bigger grey frizzle with
crazy feathers sticking out.

The other silke/frizzle chicks remaining are inside with us, under a heat lamp. They are so small and fragile that we want to try and ensure their safety. Sometimes David and I realize we are dangerous when we interrupt nature. Yet bringing some of the chicks inside is something we have done before with success. Don't get me wrong, silkie mamas are great mothers. But we gotta keep these sweeties inside for now, until they grow their feathers as these seem extra fragile to us. This cold is not a friend to very tiny, days old chicks.

In breaking news, we have moved Rusty, The Silkie Rooster, to a holding place to live for a few months until we are ready to breed again. Likely as the weather starts moving into Spring. 

His coop for now....

Living the bachelor life with mirrors, which as typical,
he loves to admire himself as bachelors do.

This gives the  silkie/frizzle girlz a break from sitting on eggs. For now, they are busy raising 2 of the silkie chicks with them. One of which is Rusty's color of reddish feathers and the other is light grey like Chompchi. 

Maggie's new neighbor, Rusty

So where are all the to-be-big-girl chicks? 

Chick Pile with 2 heat lamps in the barn

They are now living in the barn, with their own heat lamps, eating chick food like they have an open endless gateway in their little belly's for food. 

Living in the Guest House until they are big enough to come out

Currently, the demand for eggs outweighs the egg production I currently have. Even with my janky egg fridge setup at the front of the property. The $2.50/dozen can't be beat anywhere. David tells me on a regular basis about the supply and demand concept. Yeah, I know. But I just don't want to up my price. I'm trying to do a community service thing here. I want my neighbors to have fresh eggs at a great price. Free even. I think people need this in their lives. I'm here for it.

In the mean time though, these chicks will grow into layers, and I'm even thinking of getting more. Esp as winter is upon us, and my chickens lay less eggs during this time. It's a good time to raise some girlz for laying in the Spring. Right now, I even have a quite a few chickens molting. The barn looks like a pillow feather factory. There's feathers everywhere, as if it snowed feathers in there. Molting happens typically when the days get shorter. During molt, chickens stop laying eggs and use this time to build up their nutrient reserves. They rest much of the time, sitting and roosting even during the day. It's their time to recharge and they need time to themselves. A lot like I feel every Friday night. 

So while I mull over the economics of it all, I do continue to struggle to keep enough eggs in the egg fridge and fill egg orders at work. I just need more (hens) chickens, that's all. Some ask me why I don't just have roosters and have my own chicks? After all, we do that with the silkies and frizzles here and there. But the short answer is it's alot of work. I'll pay a couple of bucks for pullet (female) chicks instead. But that's a good question. 

Corey, at my work, sewed this OR hat for me 💛

My loves sleeping

Night Night

High on Quack

While I'm talking fowl, let's talk ducks. We've had our fair share of duck shenanigans up at the pond in our life. Fortunately, we have 3 ducks who have stood the test of time. 

These three are living the high life at the pond.

All boys. These 3, who I still call Huey, Louie and Dewy are hanging in strong against the hawks and anything else that tries to come their way. The livestock guard dogs watch them as closely as possible (and not in a dinner kind of way). The ducks are friendly, sometimes too friendly for some.....

Hold your horses

My two mini mares, Hope and Dora are doing amazing! I'm so proud of how far they have come. They are completely different mini's from when I acquired each of them. Hope, a black Shetland Pony technically, is younger, bigger and stronger than Dora. Yet, she watches Dora and learns from her. Hope watches the ease Dora has with humans. Hope watches and learns how to be trusting, which goes against all she's learned before she came to us. Thankfully, Dora was seemingly not abused (unlike Hope, which breaks my heart) and was used as a breeding mini horse. It was after her last foal that she came to us, as the breeder had no use for her any longer. At that time, Dora was a biter, and mad at the world. As was her baby boy, Diego who came with her. (Diego was re-homed for severe biting reasons quite awhile back). 

Dora, my Sweet Pea, having some precious
time up at the pond.

Now, Dora is a pocket mini. She can’t get close enough to you. She no longer bites and instead asks for pets. She wants to be in your business and knows nothing about personal space. As an older mare, and blind in one eye, she can be pushy about what it is she wants. I am right there with you, Dora. Same same. We are seniors who know what we want. 

Hope. Awwwhhh, Hope. Who knew you'd come around like you have. Such a horrible hard life for such a young mother. You're the example of "it's not fair what happened to you" meets "still gives life a chance". You show us what it looks like to show up each day and do the best you can with how you're feeling. I love that about you. 

Such a beauty

Typically, Dora and Hope stay on the side pasture on a dry lot. Mini's cannot have too much to eat, so I have to restrict their intake. Every now and again though, I treat them to time in the front or back pasture. They love love love it up by the pond and enjoy all the new taste and smells they don't often get. 

LGD Life

Even though that sounds similar to an acronym for human equality, it's the farm version that deserves respect just as the LGBTQ most certainly does. Everyone deserves respect no doubt, and why humans have to fight for it is beyond me. People are people and love is love. I esp love the love is love thing because we all have a right to love who we desire to love. 

And on a lighter note, I see the animals I love and care for, in turn, love and care for the others. For example, we love and adore (and greatly respect) all 4 of our LGD (livestock guard dogs). Let's start with the pups, who are now just over a year old. 

Penny, now just over a year old coming in at
about 120 lbs.

120 lb Penny is turning into the lead LGD slowly, as Levi ages. Penny is adventurous, and knows not her size. She's tall, lanky and loves to play. She loves everyone and everything. She's obedient to the fence parameter, and is not a wanderer. She has a strong drive to guard and keeps predators from trespassing on our property. She respects her underground fence collar and does not cross the line. She's first to meals, and happy to finish off anyone's bowl of food that is not finished. She loves treats, and is wonderful at asking for multiple treats, as if she never got one in the first place. Silly girl. She knows she'll get more. How can I tell her no. 

Laid back Dutch, until it's the dark of night.....

110 lb Dutch is Penny's brother who is a little shorter and more stocky. He has some hip issues at times, but they seem to be resolving as he ages. He's a wanderer at heart, and is well accepted by the neighboring pasture owners, as he's not afraid of going after predators outside the boundaries of our own farm. His underground fence collar cannot keep him contained. The instinct is too strong and he will go after that bobcat or coyote - and he does - under the fence. Both neighboring side pasture owners have expressed interest that he guard their property too, and he does. He's everywhere, yet never wanders away too far. Just close enough to keep predators at bay. Brave Dutch. He's in a class of his own. 

The bestest of the bestest

My old boy, Levi. His age is showing and we are kindred spirits in that arena. Sometimes age can't help but show, and he carries it well. He's allowing Penny and Dutch to step in, and has embraced them with open paws. I've never had such a loyal guard dog as he. He's the best, will always be the best, and who we will compare every other livestock guard dog to for the rest of our lives. He's the example of what a LGD is. He's shown Penny and Dutch what to do - and what not to do. Simply amazing.

Whisper resting before night fall

It's hardly fair that Whisper has been called the crazy sister all her life. We were told that Whisper and Levi are brother/sister, and maybe it's true. But we will never know, as they were here on the property when we moved here. They were here first. Whisper is stand-off-ish, shy, quiet, slinks around, and enjoys time in the laundry room when it storms outside. And then, she's the first to tear up whatever predator tries to cross the fence line. She, too, will go under the fence to chase down whatever needs to be chased down. Don't mess with this one. She's a little whackadoodle at times. And I love her for it. She really loves Levi like no one else does. Levi is her life mate and best friend. Whisper's got a bum leg that we had a TPLO surgery on for her, and she's recovered nicely. But still, she has a plate and screws in a leg that bothers her here and there. You'd never know though. She's strong and powerful, quiet and relentless. She's her own self, and that's my favorite thing about her. Go you, Whisper. 

Who knew I'd have 4 Great Pyrenees? They are beautiful, majestic and guard the property as if they are willing to give their life up for their 'herd and flock'. All 4 of these dogs see each farm animal as if it's their very own to protect. And boy howdy, do they do that EVERY night without fail. We owe it all to them. The one thing in return that I can do is make them feel safe and happy, feed them well, and I mean well. And pets, and love, and human touch. I need them to know how much I love and appreciate them. I pet them gently, stroking their eyes and wiping the sleepies out of the corners. Belly scratches when they ask for it. These 4 have formed a bond that I never could have imagined. How grateful I am for them each and every day. But man, I go through a lot of dog food. 

The question remains....

Does Maybe like her winter vest?

I'm going to go......'she doesn't have a choice
in the matter'. It's cold outside for an older girl.

Are the sheep pregnant?

I'm going to go with.....probably 🤞

What does Paul look like when his feathers are down?

You've seen this many times - fancy Paul

But he rarely shows his non-fancy side
because he loves to be so fancy

Does he still stand at the front door and look in? 

I'm going to go with.....yes, often.
I was decorating the Christmas tree and placing
the bins outside the front door. He watched my
every move and just wants to be a part of it all. 

Is Maggie on a weight loss diet?

I'm going to go with.....we are trying. 
It's hard being a pig on a diet.

How's Buddy?

I'm going to go with.....he's just fine.

Buddy's best friend, Brooks came over to play
this weekend. He watched every move he made.

And after each slide, Buddy needed to make
sure his best friend was okay. Without fail.

So many good things happening out here. I try to remember this one thing that Anne Frank also said, "Whoever is happy, will make others happy to". I see it everyday on the farm. The happiness of the farm animals. It just makes me so happy. Their happy makes me happy. 

There's nothing better than a pig kiss, trust me on this,

Cyndi