Everything Happens

There's a couple of books by Kate Bowler titled, Everything Happens For A Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved and No Cure for Being Human that I've been devouring. OMGoodness. These books hit me hard in my own little life as first, Kate has Stage IV colon cancer and second, her 'cancer viewpoint' (although slightly different than my own) is powerful, intriguing and thought-provoking. I saw so much of her cancer-journey life in my own cancer-journey life. Everything from what people say to those of us with cancer, to why some people suffer and others are spared. Her review of conventional wisdom that's not that wise after all really hit home for me. 

Aristotle believed that everything happens for a reason. Whether you are spiritual, atheist, new-age-y or believe in God (or your higher power) Kate had so many, many words regarding this adage of 'everything happens for a reason' and how each of us coin it in our own life and beliefs. Kate's belief in God had her perplexed that if God is good, fair and powerful then why is this (cancer) happening to her. Or to anybody for that matter. Seems like a bit of a garbage deal, right? Kate goes on to say if all the people she's ever loved don't count enough to you (God), could you at least make a little exception for her. If not for her, then for them. Believing in God and having bad things happen in your life can be quite a struggle that people have to iron out.

I begin to understand that Kate being diagnosed with cancer at 35 years old and a small child in her arms is vastly different than my (and David's) situation, hence why her views are a bit different than my own. What Kate and I DO have in common is how the community reacts to those with cancer. Bottom line: there's no cultural script or language that allows others to communicate with those who have cancer. There's just not. It's uncomfortable. Period. I had blogged early on that no one can say anything 'wrong' to myself or David, when it comes to ourselves having cancer. I welcome all words and feelings from our caring communities of friends, families and quite frankly, anyone. I still feel that way 110%, as I feel that people’s intentions to say something is pure (and brave). What Kate points out is that people are unsure what to say (to her regarding her cancer diagnosis and her health) and therefore other's intentions of sweet and kind words can come across as desperate attempts at reasoning why some people get cancer. Yeah, I noticed she takes this way more seriously than I do, but I do notice it when it happens to myself. People ponder is it something I've done, something I was exposed to, does it run in the family, and so forth. People want answers, it's just who we are as human beings. 

A common theme when someone has cancer is how we (because I'm guilty of this in my own life) are attempting to talk with a friend or family member who have cancer and say things to them whereby we’re really just trying to make ourselves feel better. It's just such an uncomfortable situation anyway, and when someone says the ole 'everything happens for a reason' line, I don't know if I've every really believed that per se. Is it really cause and effect? Or is it more like in the book, The Secret, that we should just believe things enough that we can incubate our own life and draw it to us. Just think harder, incubate faster and the cancer will be gone. Or we can try to pray ourselves out of it. Or maybe life is just uncaring and the universe is cruel. There's so many ways to spin this. Kate points out so vividly in her book that there's no cure to being human. We don't get to graduate from it. We are stuck with genuine uncertainty. And that's where we will stay. In life, with happy and terrible things all around us. Thank you, Kate for bringing some new thoughts for me to mull over. I'm still living with my usual mojo of enjoying every day. Every day that I get up and brush my teeth is the best day ever. Yes, cancer cracks you open to everyone's pain and that's a perk of having cancer. I may not be able to see all of Kate's many sides of cancer from over here, but I'm not 35 with a small child. I've had a wonderful life, and do not have a tiny human depending on me. My tiny human is now grown with a tiny human of her own. Kate's books are raw, yet funny - and real. Reading about her outlook on cancer further clarifies and solidifies my own outlook on life with cancer. My take on life is: Everything Happens For A Reason. I just keep moving forward, one step at a time. Nobody every promised me a certain lifespan. I'll take what I get. 

Sheepishly Me

 

I had no idea I'd be this excited to have our 5 sheep back.

Grace with daughter, Brooklyn

When I hear my ewes baaaaaaa because they are so spoiled, it warms my heart. They look up at me with their rectangle pupils and it's like a direct channel to their soul. Their eyes reflect love, trust, peace and  harmony. There's just something about them that are unlike any other animal. Yes, they want treats, but they also want my touch. They love to be loved primarily by having their faces gently stroked -  some of the ewes more than others. But they know me, just like my dogs know me. I just love them so much. I missed them. 

Counterclockwise: Grace, Brooklyn, Lulu, Willow 
and Belle behind the feeder

David (aka Lamb Dad) actually made noises recently of: when we are getting our next ram, Tres? See, he's already named him, too. The thing about sheep is though, they are tricky, puzzle solvers. Yep, if there's a way out of the fence, they'll find it. That was our biggest issue before going to Houston for David's cancer treatment. The sheep are going to try and escape because it's just what they do. They check every gate multiple times a day to see if we accidentally left it open which we do far too often. So a huge thank you to Amy and Cody for taking such great care of them, and blessing us with them when they could have freely kept them as their own.

Lava ewe ❤️

I'll keep you posted, but Lamb Dad says he'll start looking for a ram in Oct/Nov. We'll see what happens. I mean, we already know everything happens in life. So who knows how it will all go down. 

Brookie Baby

Okay, everything’s happening in the Cannon household, too. Brooks is making everything happen lately. He's just about 10 months old and we are already talking about his 1 year old birthday celebration at the farm in Oct. What?!

Entered in the 2033 Olympics 
in Egg Eating Creativity 

I had the pleasure recently (while on my work break) of watching Brookie a day or so while his day care was closed for staff training. 

Enjoys his wagon time

The dogs were not as smitten to be there as I was.
But our floors were being done, and the dogs
had to come along for the fun.

Let’s just say the dogs were not a fan of a crawling baby. They stayed far away. Maybe actually stayed by the front door for 2 days waiting for us to leave. She has no patience for a baby. After all, whose going to eat all the chicken poo in the barn if we are not there. 

Brooks neurons are firing fast and furious and I feel like I can see his synapses happening in real time. 

He's nonstop playing and his favorite toy is not a toy. It's a plastic coffee cup lid.

All I need is a bottle and a lid. 

He loves a rinsed out yogurt plastic container. Or a small plastic bowl. No toys needed, just open the tupperware cabinet and he's in it. Ryan and Lauren will need to get their roller skates out soon to keep up. They'll need to add more carbs in their diet, and keep every single thing in their house waist up and above. Things are about to get wild. The word No will mean absolutely NOthing. He'll use it only to say back to them. Never mind the little side curl grin on my face and the giggle sound that just escaped my mouth. I was just thinking that he needs a brother to wrestle with, that's all. His day care brothers will do for the mean time though.  

Break time's up, People

As much as David has encouraged me to hang out at home, and I have for a month and love it, I begin to look out in the world at what nursing jobs are dangling out there. Yes, it took me almost a full week to adjust to being home, but after that, every day was a Saturday. I get lost in the days and mostly know what day it is by whether David is working or not. What I know for sure is that it's really cool and fun not to work. Yet, I did begin to dabble in resuming, interviewing and that sort of thing just because. I don't have a set reason, I just did. Then, something showed up that my sister (and her daughter, Kris) had suggested and encouraged......school nursing. 

I happened to apply for a school nurse position with absolutely zilch experience in school nursing. Then, called in for an interview with a group of administrators from the school who I instantly liked. There I was sitting in a board room of the high school and answering round robin questions. What would be the most challenging thing for you in this position, they asked. Uh, that I'm not a school nurse and have a huge learning curve. This questioning went on and I answered questions which I found entertaining and actually almost fun. After all, I need to practice interviewing, right? So why not make it fun. Then, before I knew it, the interview was over and I was back in my car jiggity jig, driving back home replaying in my mind some of the things I had said in the interview. A audible giggle would escape my mouth here and there in the car. Thinking of how the interviewers would scribble madly on their mandatory Interview Form when I said this or I said that. It would surprise me each time, and draw my attention to the person scribbling something on their paper to the answer of a question just asked of me. It was almost like a game. They ask something, I say something, and some of them scribble. I did not feel nervous, after all I was practicing, right.

Wrong. You see, it's real after all. It's not just practice. Their scribbles added up to a call back to me (after all the candidates were interviewed) and I was kindly offered the school nurse position by the assistant principal of the high school. I'm still waiting for the call back for them to say they were just kidding and it was practice after all. But I've not received that call. Instead, I'm going in for fingerprints tomorrow, background check and maybe eventually if they see I'm not a criminal, a new hire appt. Huh. Maybe working at a high school during the insurgence of covid cases rising again seems a bit illogical. But here I am.

Little Girl Town

Okay, enough about work things. Let's talk chickens. We all know how much I love my little girlz. I decided not that long ago to allow the silkies and frizzles to leave their fenced area and move about the world (free range). They still have access to their Little Girl Area readily, and they do so. Yet, they get to investigate other areas like the barn, the side pasture and the intersanctum as well. Here’s just a few whose out and about in life these days. Covid means nothing to them. 

SaltNPeppa

Tiny yet mighty

Frankie, best silkie mama ever

These sweeties still head back to their own coop nightly to roost (in their Little Girl Area). They do not sleep in the barn with the big girlz. Not yet anyway. My 2 youngest silkie pullets are growing up, and their brother (the rooster) was taken to the feed store to be sold there. I almost kept him for breeding and considered raising more bantums, but decided it's not really what I want to do right now. So, all my chickens are technically hens (or young girlz, pullets). You know us, we accidentally get a rooster here and there. For now, we are rooster-free.

Kitchen Aid

We are almost at the finish line. I'll try to make this the last time I fuss review the kitchen re-do. 

Worth the wait

Here's my list of why I might not remodel a kitchen in the future:

1) each time a subcontractor would finish what they were doing (painting, flooring, etc) they either created more work for us via either addt clean up needed or we'd need to fix something they inadvertently messed up in the process of doing their job they were there to do.  

2) delays, lots of delays for us with subs

3) additional expenses for unexpected things like black mold, flooring complications and plumbing and electrical hiccups (due to older house)

4) unexpected arrival of workers and/or no arrival of workers

5) I'm not sure I'd have the patience necessary to move through it all again knowing what I know now. 

My list of why I would remodel a kitchen again:

1) It's SO worth it. 

Only a few remaining items left such as trim,
paint touch up, and ice for the fridge 😍

Interestingly enough, I'm not really doing alot of cooking these days. Imagine that. Yet, I'm enjoying the kitchen immensely. I missed you, kitchen.

Heading to watch a youtube on school nursing, just in case.......

Cyndi