Settling

While we await the arrival of Chia's kid(s), we watch all the animals revel in this heat, and are amazed at how well they adapt. The chickens, donkeys, sheep and goats all blend from season to season. Most importantly to note, is the shearing and shaving of the animals (those that need it) is key in this blending process. When Fall arrives, and the cold starts its journey, their winter coat(s) are much needed. When Summer hits, the natural shedding - and intentional shearing - is a relief.
Currently, we have a huge fan in the barn going 24/7. We watch water buckets daily, and make sure everyone has access to fresh and plentiful water. The feeding schedule has shifted to later in the evening, due to the heat suppressing the guard dogs appetite. We have been successful in shaving 2 out of the 4 of the guard dogs. The multiple layers of fur is too much for them in this summer heat. The relief can be seen right away, when top layers are removed.

A new change we made this summer was to not use straw in the sheep or goat pens. It's great to have it for moisture wicking (urine) and hiding some of their poop, but really, it's a hassle this time of year.  It's hot, draws more flies, and does not serve a purpose at this time of year. On low wind days, we can muck the stalls, and burn the straw. Instead, we are forgoing the straw in exchange for daily quick-sweeps of the stalls. The barn smells much better, and along with spraying (every 2-3 weeks) for fly eggs, and young flies, we can keep the adult fly population down. The flies, inside and outside the barn, are a nuisance to the animals - and us. We do what we can. The Pour On pesticide for the donkeys works great. I'm freely able to pour it down Mama's back, and as it absorbs in her body, the flies will not accumulate and settle on her. Papa, he's another story. Even though this Pour On does not sting or burn, he is reluctant  to let us put this on him, and stays away. He is a rescue donkey who is not harness trained, so getting this on him is always by way of tricking him. With food, with the ability to go to a different area of the property. Sometimes we are able to help him help himself. He's smart, and can smell the  Pour On, so he's the master of Catch Me If You Can.

This is our first summer with Sugar. She's my adopted nugget, who at the age of 1 year old still did not have a name.  She's a white, fluffy MaltiPoo full of joy and love. We got her over the winter, and she's feeling the heat now. Her little pinkish-red tiny tongue hangs out as we work outside now. She's instantly full of burrs, as her coat attracts them like honey to a bee. I pick them out lovingly from her fur, as it's a dance we do often. Sugar's past life has formed her to be protective and unsure. She still only allows me to pick her up, although will tolerate others holding her. I still can't figure out what it is she will eat on a on going basis. Dog food isn't her jam. Bacon is her fav. Everything else is a "maybe" depending on how's she's feeling at the time. At 4 lbs, she's a touch cookie to feed. David is best at getting her to eat a decent meal. He can look, but not touch. Sugar loves him for many reasons, mostly his taste in food. She's starting to let him in her Circle of Trust. Bacon helps. Sugar has shown me that no matter what has happened in the past, forgiveness and trust can be found again. That love prevails. She's leaned into this transition with us, and according to David, in about 5 more years, he may be able to lean down and pick her up. The progress is slow, but it's evident daily, that she's trying to let her walls down and allow others to love her. She's a 1 person dog. 1 person is enough for her, and I get that privilege in her life. David is not detoured though, his mission to teach her grace and (more) trust is relentless. Sugar is turning the corner. Slowly. David's patience will be rewarded one day. He's still waiting for her tail to wag when he says Hello to her. To be able to pick her up. One day, Sugar, you will. You are still healing, and that's okay.

While we await Sugar's changes toward allowing others to love her, I made a huge change this weekend. A big step forward in life. Warning: It will sound materialistic, but for me, it's about letting go. Back story: I drive a 2008 Saturn Vue. I chose this car for many reasons, mainly because no matter what happens to it, it's okay. It's an old car I can do anything with, go anywhere, never worry about hail, or what would happen if someone hits it. It's my Worry-Free vehicle that gets me places, helps with the farm, pulls the trailer, put my bike in it, and it hauls feed easily. If it ever does decide to stop running (which it runs great!) I could just leave it on the side of the road, and run home. The police would put an orange sticker on it, tow it away, and done is done. And if you rode in it, you would think, 1) this car does not have shocks, 2) why does she drive this? and 3) this is a janky car.

While all those thoughts are justified, I've been able to ignore it all, and drive on. Lately, David and Lauren have both mentioned (begged) me to get a newer car. Something nice. Something decent. I've thought about it, and decided maybe it's time. Maybe they're right. They have my best interest at heart, and I should consider what they say more seriously. So I agreed to go look at cars. We did, and ended up at a Toyota dealership. I've never had a truck (besides our 68 Chevy short bed). I liked the Tacoma truck, and interestingly enough, decided it would be okay to buy one. And we did. A grey, beautiful truck that will do all the things Pearl (my Saturn Vue) did. We brought it home, and drove around in it this weekend, and I've never seen David happier for me. For me, that I'm not driving Pearl. He's so happy, that he can't quit clapping (the Steve Harvey clap - palms only, fingers out) in the new truck while we drive around. Wow, perception is not always reality, because my perception of Pearl was that she was fine and good enough for me. Those around me speak otherwise. I DO love my new truck, and am happy to step up my game in the world of driving.

But what about Pearl, you ask? Well, I could not trade her in because they would not give me any $$$ for her. Basically nothing. I might as well have given her to somebody. Anybody. So she too, came back home. That was Saturday night. By Sunday at noon, I had her up front with a For Sale sign in the window, at the end of the gravel drive to our house, waiting for the 10 people who drive down Little Elm Creek Rd each day, to think about if they might buy her. And guess what. 1 of those 10 passing cars decided they wanted Pearl. A man, ironically our closest neighbor, Raul, who I've spoken on the phone with about his roaming dogs. Not the best interactions we've had, but they were always decent and appropriate neighbor communications. Now, he wants to buy my car for his wife. We shook hands and smiled at each other. **Update: He has since fenced his biting, roaming dogs about 6 months ago, so all is good. It was good to be at peace with each other, although we've technically never "had words". He lives down the way, and we all like to stay in each others good graces. And now, we gave Raul the Neighbor's Deal on Pearl, and off they went. Within 5 hours of having the car out front with a For Sale sign, Pearl is gone. I'll get to see her now and then. Driving by. My heart is happy, as someone else will love her as I did. They do not know she has a name, but I do.

As I continue to ebb and flow, I made a giant step forward this weekend. I've stepped up my game. Mostly, I've realized that when I'm just fine with something, doesn't mean it's always okay. This happens in my life. I can be a Settler without even realizing it. Thank goodness I have loved ones around to wake me up, at times. Every now and then the squirrel gets the nut. I can still see David clapping his hands in the truck, as we drove to Home Depot. His cute little smile made my heart so happy. And Lauren will be so proud of me. She tolerated Pearl, but wanted more for me. Thank you both for pushing me to want more for myself. I need that now and then.

And that's what we are doing for Sugar, too. Cheering her on, to allow others to love her and be her wonderful self. We all continue to open doors for each other. It's a wonderful life. Everyday brings a new story.

I look forward to what today brings,

Cyndi