Still working on mindfulness

As life-happening’s are all around me, I am continually reminded of the need to be mindful of my surroundings. Mindful. It’s so hard. I’m mindless a lot of the time. I crave mindlessness to escape reality. Last week, I tried practicing mindfulness through a myriad of life-happenings. I really do have to practice it, as it’s not a natural thing for me on a regular basis. Life-happenings definition: Day to day things/activities that give me one more reason to think hibernation is a good idea.
A roof installation went down (well, technically, up) last week, and went a bit astray. I will need corrections made this week, and the outcome is still to be determined. The idea that rain is coming made me a bit weary. The Internet/Wi-Fi and DIRECTV dishes could not be put back in their places, and it’s been a week without. [Insert big sigh here]. Not to mention it’s going to be a while longer before the dishes can be placed again. Then, a farm visit to assess our Great Pyrenees dogs leg/hip pain. And Lauren‘s birthday that did not bring celebration satisfaction to fruition, are all only minor hiccups in life last week.
As my own life-happenings are occurring, I’m very aware that they are not problems, but life swirling around me. The “old me” would complain, spiral and maybe even meltdown over things that were not critical. Luckily, I don’t recognize that person anymore. Thank goodness. David gently reminded me that after I had Lauren, that “nervous moms make nervous babies”. I’ll never forget that. I was high-strung in life, and wearing myself out. I was impatient, ego-centric, selfish and self-serving. I was struggling due to my own demise, my own inflictions, and a general lack of knowledge. I created my own drama, even there really wasn’t any. (My poor parents. There was three of us girls constantly beating up on them. Not intentionally, anyway.)
I knew I had to make a change, and I eventually did. To begin to work on myself, educate myself and find a better self who could live calmly, sweetly and with contentment. No matter what life-happenings were occurring, I would need to change my vantage point, perception and cultivate awareness. When I first discovered this thing called mindfulness, I realized what it was like to be in the moment. It took a long, long time to understand this concept, as simple as it is. I begin to think about how my actions affected others. To think about my own thoughts carefully, pick my words, then speak. (That’s a work in progress).
As this past week unfolded into uncertainty, I found myself thinking about it with more clarity and understanding. The mindless chatter in my brain crept in. Oh yes it did. But I can recognize it now, and make note of it when it arises. I’m able to shut it down quicker and more productively, to allow the mindful thinking to be present.
Ironically, for the second time, many of my training miles lately have been listening to The Great Course of Practicing Mindfulness. Love this book! I love the professor who wrote it, and also who reads it. It’s music to my ears when I turn it on. I learn something new every time I hear it. It’s actually subtitled An Introduction To Meditation, but it focuses on mindfulness, meditation and to recognize when one is being mindless. [Insert big bell ringing in my head, on that note.]
Meditation is another thing. I’ve seen those magazines showing classically yoga-clad women, sitting crosslegged with impeccable make up and hair. They look happy and content. Did they just meditate? My worst fear in regards to meditation is that I won’t do it right, or reach deep spiritual revelations, or know what the heck I’m doing - and certainly not look like those women on the magazine covers who appear to represent yoga and meditation. Most books I’ve read about meditation made it seem too complex, exotic or out of reach. The Great Courses book, Practicing Mindfulness helped me to understand I don’t need to don special clothing, shave my head, be a monk, have a specific religion or adopt a Tibetan name to meditate. I just need to be able to sit quietly, eyes closed, breathe, and quiet my monkey mind. When my mind starts to chatter, I need to recognize it, and quiet my mind again. Eventually I became aware of my mindless chatter and learned to point it out to myself, and realign my quiet mind again. For me it’s practice, practice, practice. I can do it just about anywhere really, when I have a few minutes of time to myself. I’ll listen to myself breathe, and go into a quiet mind place. It’s always very calming. Life-happenings are nonstop for everyone. I used last week as a practice of mindfulness. I did well a lot of the time, then tended to slip back into my old ways that would make me feel icky and chaotic inside. But mostly, I was just happy that I was recognizing the need to keep moving toward my better self, because I’m not sure I’ll ever reach my best life or best self. I do keep trying, moving forward, then backward again. And going backwards is a fabulous maneuver, so that I can move forward again. I’ve noticed that my quiet mind makes for a calm heart. I’m grateful for these times I’m given to practice handling life situations. I ebb and flow through them.
Thank goodness for The Great Courses series. I’ve listened to so many of them on audio books, I should have another college degree. It’s like taking a college course, for free.99. Almost free anyway.
This particular book, Practicing Mindfulness has touched my soul. It’s brought me to a place where I can recognize my actions. Wouldn’t that be great if that was a class in High School?!


Life lesson learned this past week? Life without WiFi is like pie without whipped cream. It’s still really good, and you could easily get used to it. But I really like whipped cream. And WiFi.
Cyndi

BTW, Lolo, is the ebb in “ebb and flow” the good part, or is the flow the good part?