Carefriendtation

 

You've likely had many carefriendtations in your life - as have I. This concept came to me via a podcast, and although used more frequently with family or friends, using it in the community has benefited me greatly. My most recent use of this was at my follow up visit to my oncologist at Texas Oncology. Technically, he's not a 'friend' but he is someone who's been there in my life every month (sometimes every couple of weeks) helping me, guiding me and even being a cheerleader for what it is I enjoy doing in life (running, biking, etc). We have been a team for several years now as I live with a cancer who happens to be like bad friend that won't go away.  

My oncologist, the helper of all things blood cancer for me, and I had our "first" office visit after the overdosing situation at my last appt. I wasn't sure how it was all going to go down. Will one of us fire the other? Will it be awkward? As I awoke the morning of the to-be afternoon appt, I rehearsed all the different scenarios knowing that what is likely to happen at this upcoming appt would be something I did not guess, therefore did not rehearse. ooof. All day at work, I felt like I fought the bad mood lurking underneath it all and dreaded the drive to the appt. 

Me driving to my appt

Along the way there, I would need to change my mindset to allow this visit to be a carefriendtation. I've never been big on confrontations, I mean, who is. Carefriendtation (in a community relational way) on the other hand, is a more productive way for me to view and approach situations. I knew I needed to go into this particular doctor visit with a caring heart, assuming goodness, and with an objective minds eye. I set my intention as such.

How my insides felt about going

Once I arrived at Texas Oncology, it had been 2 weeks since the "almost-thought-I-might-die" (too-much) BESREMi injection, and the first thing I am to do is have some labs drawn. The ladies in the lab are always nice and always there to make the magic happen of the blood draws. After my blood is drawn, they send me down to 'sub-waiting' area so that my oncologist can see me. And sure enough, I am called into a patient exam room and await the doctor's arrival. This is when I practice "not spilling my coffee". Have you ever been bumped by someone and the coffee in your cup spills out just a bit? This also happens with my feelings. I do a great job of keeping my thousands of feelings in check, and then I get 'bumped' by someone's words or actions, and then some of my feelings and words escape from my mouth that are better served staying in the cup. Not all my feelings and words need to spill out, mainly because they are thoughts and not always real and right. But as humans, we get bumped sometimes, and it's easy to spill our coffee - and our feelings that are not meant to be spilt.  

As the doctor comes into the room, I see only his eyes as usual, as we are wearing a mask of course. Cancer centers still do the mask thing as everyone there is sick after all, and most are immunocompromised as cancer patients. As he enters the room, I feel his mood and I feel his energy as he sits down. It's a melancholy, almost-sad, apologetic type of mood. Eeyorish is the best way I can describe it. He begins, "I want to first apologize for what happened". And then everything after that was indeed appropriate conversation in relation to the situation. There were multiple apologies from him during our office visit that day, and he takes responsibility for the situation being the doctor, and let me know the nurse had been struggling with what had happened, and still was. We discussed my current lab results and how it would be best that we skip an injection that day (which we all knew would be the case). We talked about getting a prescription for BESREMi that I could self-inject - but that my insurance was giving a hard NO for it. We talked about my comfort level with coming there for future injections despite what had happened. We talked about my insurance covering this cancer treatment with only the facility giving the injection. We talked about it all. As a nurse, I have the ability to know that "things happen" in health care. We are human. Do we want bad things to happen, heavens no, but they do. As a nurse, I could feel what the other nurse was feeling. As a nurse, I could be objective to what had happened. And I could also trust what would happen for future injections. Wait, it's hard to type that, actually, but instead, I'll say I can try and trust what will happen in future injections. 

I left being completely surprised at this visit with my oncologist. And for the record, I did not spill my coffee. My oncologist was supportive, understanding, apologetic and everything you'd want in this type of situation. I know this was a difficult situation for him, and I also know he had to have put in much thought into this visit with me. It was a tough visit for us both, yet we were able to come together after a terrible situation. I felt heard. I said all the words I wanted to say. And I also tried hard to listen to him, and let him get all his words out. We both did. And now, we move forward. I return in 2 weeks for more lab draws and evaluation of what's next. Then, I see my oncologist at MD Anderson the following week after that. I am so grateful and fortunate for the health care I receive. That statement may sound perversely counterintuitive at this time yet I feel it to be true. I need these doctors, despite having a recent blunder, botch or whatever we wish to call it. How about mistake. Let's call is a big mistake. It's not been an easy task to find an oncologist in this area to treat a rare blood cancer. MDA gets it completely, but it's just far enough away to be inconvenient to go every couple of weeks. So I've decided to stay where I'm at and trust this process. Having a chronic disease is hard not only on your body, but also on your mind. Keeping your mind right is imperative. I really try to stay out of my mind on this and stay rooted in my being. Cancer is not the boss of me. I will not allow it to infiltrate and occupy all my mind's time, and will fight against that til the day it takes my body away. I just can't let it have my mind too, I refuse to let that happen. But that's what chronic cancers and diseases try to do, they are tricky like that. But don't fall for it. Stay strong through the struggle and stay brave when you are afraid. It's a mantra I repeat in most every life situation - esp this one. After all, fear is a liar. Never listen when fear tells you what to you. It's not your friend. 

No forest creatures around here

Despite what Disney shows us, there have never been forest creatures show up and clean a house or barn around here. Instead, Mr Retired did. Damned if he didn't spray wash out the entire barn (don't tell him he forgot the inside of the barn doors which happened to be slid open at the time of his cleaning). And wowsies, the inside of the barn is a different color now and no one even painted it. 

I feel a little embarrassed about this. 

I was a participant in some of this action, but only on the last day, which was a Saturday morning - the day we were supposed to start. David worked on this project all that week, and he and I finished it on a Saturday morning and had the rest of the day to spare. 

We moved a chicken coop away from this area
to open up the area a little more. 
It's so clean 😍

Beautiful, said all chickens

Thank you, David! It looks great! Now....how can I keep it this clean? I know I can't, but I do also know that every now and again, even a metal building needs to be cleaned. And now we know how it's done and that it's do-able. It was during this process that we decided to shift some things around in the barn. Kind of like when you move your living room furniture around. It's fun to mix it up a bit. So we did that, too.

Dora and Hope love the updated signs.

We added little picket fences to discourage any
dogs from eating any eggs laid in these areas.
You know our chickens - they lay their eggs wherever
they feel like 🙄

Excuse the mess (the walls are clean though!).
 These 2 coops now live side-by-side
and it opens the barn up a little more.

David even freshened this baby up 😃

Sheep Shenanigans

Stay with me now......it all started when I was looking through photos on my phone dating back to 2016 and 2017 (more on that later) and I saw a picture of when Belle was only days old. The year? 2017. I immediately thought 'she's not too old to have more lambs' and then that thought evaporated from my mind. 

Baby Belle

Belle was our first sheep ever whom we received at the feed store at 1 day old. The feed store had been trying to save her after her mama "kicked her off" after she was born (meaning the mama would not feed or accept her as her own). In walks Cyndi into the feed store and the rest is history. I arrived home with Belle, all while trying to figure out how to keep a newborn lamb alive. Fast forward after reminiscing about this photo, and it was merely the next day that David sent me a video while I was at work - of the neighbor's new lambs. They were frolicking near our property line/fence and it's hard to resist watching all that cuteness. They are a bundle of joy, as were all the times before that we have had lambs of our own. I could hear David in the background ohhhh and awwwing over these sweet lambs.

Fast forward only 1 more day. Only 1 day, I repeat, and I get a text from David (while at work again) telling me there's a Dorper ram in our back pasture with our Dorper (ewes) sheep. I laugh to myself thinking he's bought a ram, had it delivered, and wants lambs. After all, he is a wonderful Lamb Dad.

It's written on his face 💜

Proof

He then tells me that the ram has just appeared on its own. I'm thinking that it must be part of the neighbor's flock whose somehow gotten over/under the fence to our ewes. Maybe our ewes are in heat? I come home from work and sure enough, there's a ram in our back pasture. He's a beautiful one, too.

David names him Trey

I don't think he's young.
I think he's experienced though.

This was on a Friday, and by evening time, I'd seen him visiting with each of my ewes, wooing them one by one. 

When Saturday morning arrived, David was off to the Texas OU game while I went out for a run. Trey was there in our pasture when I left for my run, but once I returned, he was gone. Vanished.

My three ewes 💕

What is going on around here? Then he was back Saturday evening, and gone again Sunday morning. I found a small area he could have gotten under the fence, but wow, he'd have to really want to get under that fence. Apparently, he really wants to. Sunday afternoon rolls around, and he's back. But this time, he's got 5 little tiny lambs whose followed him around and accidentally away from their mamas. Trey has gotten under the fence while those 5 little lambs lay by the fence, patiently awaiting their dad to come back across the fence line. While Ram Dad was supposed to be babysitting, he was actually visiting multiple girlfriends. 

All while Willow (our youngest ewe but of age to birth a lamb) strolled around with Trey, the little lambs waited. And as David and I watched this conundrum play out, we were troubleshooting what to do about the lambs being away from their mamas too long. Just then, we could hear a mama sheep crying out for her baby lamb and one of the baby lambs heard her and jumped up calling back to the mama. After a few callings back and forth, all 5 lambs jumped up and started running toward the crying mama sheep. We could see off in the neighbors pasture that all were reunited with the main flock, while daddy ram stayed behind visiting the neighbors. Seems Belle, Lulu and Willow all like Trey. They seem to think he's cool. And they also seem to think he's nice. He'll make his way back home again, I feel sure. Hopefully next time, he won't bring the kids with him. Rude.

Does this mean we will have lambs? I won't be able to tell you for quite some time. A sheep's gestation period is 5 months, so mark your calendar for March 2023. Then we'll know for sure. Until then, looks like we need to do some fence patching. But we'll give that a few more days for Trey to visit. All of a sudden, baby lambs are sounding good to us. Who doesn't love little lambs jumping and playing around the yard? It's been awhile since we have done this sort of thing, and we are well aware that bottle babies are always a possibility. We'll give Trey a few more days before we patch that fence. Free99 for stud service seems like a nice price to pay. And all the sheep don't seem to mind. I mean, why not?

Our last lambing......so much joy!

So just before I am to post this blog.....there's an update to this saga:

Willow, left, Trey, right
Seems they think they are a couple.

Willow and Trey have eloped. Into the pasture next door. Ugh. What to do?? We tried corralling them back, but they are determined to venture out into a world that is dangerous and unprotected. Teenagers, geeez. 

As night fell, I confess to going out there, with the wire cutters, and calling Willow back over to me. She came, as she wanted to be back home. Willow is a sweet, sweet sheep and allows pets and love from me. I opened up a place in the fence with my wire cutters, just enough for her to come back through to her home, and she did as soon as I made the last cut. She was more-than-ready to get back to her own flock. But right behind her? Trey, who also zoomed through right behind her. Fine, I'm thinking. Willow is home and that's what matters. I then covered all the areas that they could escape back through and was able to sleep that night. As did they, protected and safe inside our property. I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring for Trey, but my sheep are where they need to be. With us. Seems the owner of Trey might notice he's missing. But a number of his flock fall victim to coyotes and bobcats, so maybe he thought that was Trey's fate. We will need to let him know that his ram is with us. 

Halloweenie

Even though we do not get trick or treaters here at the farm, we do enjoy putting out a few Halloween and Fall decorations. Last year, we enjoyed the Fall Tree and I'm thinking we'll be putting it up again soon. But this year, I've noticed we've fallen into the Halloween decorations that are a bit odd.

Buddy and Halloween Friend

Sugar?

And while we are decorating around here, did I mention that Savannah's (my grand-niece) 8th birthday party along with Brooks' 2nd birthday party is on Sunday? Savannah's theme is chickens, while Brooks is cars. You guessed it, more decorating is to come. 

I can't wait to show you the cake that David will make for Savannah. She's requested a chicken cake and therefore she will get a chicken cake by gawd. But that will be for the next blog. David is not making it until this next Saturday before the Sunday party.

Until then, we prep for another farm party with the gathering of decorations, gifts and food. We enjoy this very much, and so do the animals on the farm. All the animals love the pets, love, attention and treats from our party-goers. As we prepare for the next party, then Halloween, then Fall Time, and then Christmas, we think about what's ahead, a little at a time, all while enjoying the here and now as well as the opportunities that are to come.

I never would have guessed

In all my days, I did not see this coming. Before I say it, I want to also say that this is in-progress and not everything planned actually happens. But, with that said, Lauren and Ryan have talked to us about moving to the what-we-call the 355 property. We call it 355 because it's 1.4 acres with the address of 355 Little Elm Creek Rd that we purchased separately back in 2016 when we bought 391 Little Elm Creek Rd. At the time, we did not desire neighbors and purchased that property to ensure that. 

So the plan is for Lauren and Ryan to build a house on 355 Little Elm Creek Rd. That's the property that has the Egg Fridge in front of it whereby I sell my eggs. 

Yep, people actually stop and buy eggs here.

The property has electricity and water already serviced there. When we purchased it, it had a mobile home on it, that we gifted to a nurse-friend years ago. His family still has that mobile home, and I think they have since built a house themselves and moved into it. We are very excited about this prospect of Lauren, Ryan and Brooks living just down the gravel road from us, in a home of their own choosing, on land that's ready and available. David and I never knew what we would do with that "extra" land, but we always kept it. And now we know. 

I love this whole idea. They get to build a house they desire, they have land for which to do as they desire, and they will live close by so that I get to be involved in Brooks life close up and personal. I'm bubbly inside when I think about it, even though I know things aren't in ink yet. We are all in the talking-about-it-all phase, the gifting of the land phase, the pre-approval phase - and then they will decide when things will actually take off and placed into motion. 

Front view of 355

Yes, there's a boat on 355 at this time. This boat is owned by a doctor-friend of ours who keeps his boat out here. I mean why not, there's nothing else going on on the land. But soon......there will be. While Dr Brown will find a new home for his boat, Lauren and Ryan will be placing all the wheels in motion for a house to be built. They did get their pre-approval for the mortgage, and are in process of having a survey completed and we will change the deed from our names to their names. This in itself takes time. 

But the excitement is there. It's like a dream for them to have a house and raise Brooks out here, and a dream for us to be so close by. I've met family after family who does this when one lives in the country, but to have this happen with my own family is a gift. I can't wait to see how this all transpires. There's many moving parts, logistics and obstacles in this day and time of building a house. But wow - I really am excited about it all! I never imagined they would want to live out here and I'm so happy that they want to. 

We are on the left, and they will be on the property on the right

And certainly one of my favorite parts of having my daughter and her family living close, is the time that Lauren and I will get to have spending time together again. Talking, running, biking, walking, hanging out and doing all the things that we want to do…..as my bestie will be back! 

What's shaking on 391?

Paul The Turkey is completing his molting, and regrowing his beautiful feathers just in time for fall.

You handsome thing

Smokie continues to have very little stress in his country/barn cat life.

He gets very little blog time, so here you go.
This is his usual laying position.

Buddy got a new hat!

Gotta keep the sun outta your eyes, Bud

We bought chicks for Savannah for her 8th birthday party this weekend, and they await her naming of them all while they are growing feathers.

We have 3 white and 2 grey for Savannah.
They do have a heat lamp on them still, as they feather-out.

Maggie has become the Life of the Party around here. She's a peach of a pig and friendly as they come. Visitors love her, and she in turn loves being petted, loves people and treats. (Her pig sis, Prissy, is raising her piglets and doing wonderful herself.) Maggie will remain an only-pig for the meantime.

Her morning face. Instead of Clearisel,
she has straw on her night face.

A few weeks ago we were gifted Rusty, a silkie rooster who is hoping to be a dad soon.

He's a sweet and quiet rooster, that Rusty

2 of the silkies and 1 frizzle are now sitting on eggs that could hatch as soon as by the end of the month. Get ready, Rusty, you might be a dad soon. Anyone need any silkie/frizzle chicks? 

Really? 3 in 1?

There are 2 other nesting boxes for which
to lay on your eggs, silly girls.

Hope's skin condition has improved greatly, and she's growing in her winter coat. She's so shiny and black and beautiful. She's happy, halters easily, loves lunging with me, and has shown so much improvement since starting her new supplements from the equine vet. 

Looking GOOOOOOD!

Dora has become a farm favorite as well, as she's decided with time that she really wants to be a dog. She loves to be loved, and will follow you around if you let her. She's a pocket horse for sure. A sweet pea of a mini horse. Old, blind in one eye, and a petite senior that wants to be involved with all who visit.

Just love this Sweet Pea

And saving the best for last, Brooks turns 2 years old next week. He's a smart, sweet, intelligent toddler who loves everything about the farm. Well, maybe not the loud Baaa's of the sheep, but other than that, everything.

He's the best! So curious 😮

As we head towards cooler weather, fall-time and an abundance of holidays ahead, I wish for you minimal confrontations and plentiful carefriendtations. I hope you don't spill your coffee or your nonproductive feelings. I wish for you love, family, friends, health and plenty of walks in the cool weather. 

Sending lots of love (which my father-in-law used to write as LOL before he knew what LOL was),

Cyndi 

This was not a halloween purchase....

I think it was a gift from the livestock guard dogs