Everything is Good

As John travels back via bus, I flew home last evening. The morning yesterday started with contentment, along with a sliver of wonderment of "is this really happening"? It was not, and is not, a feeling of something bad, rather, just the opposite. It was a feeling of how doing-the-right-thing-for-me feels good. Yes, it takes time to change my mind-set from moving down the road each day, to packing up to head back home. Just as it took time for it to evolve in the reverse, as well. In order to endure events such as these, it's primarily mental. Your body will follow your mind. Self talk and having the proper mindset is key to success. Once this process begins, it's a train that keeps moving. So for me, after processing this new situation, I wasn't sad about what was happening, as much as I needed to take time to readjust my mind, and change gears back to what was the right thing to do. I feel at peace with my decision, and know that what's important is for John to get better, and for me to rejoin my family.
With that decision made, I can then look forward to what that brings me in life. There may have been a time in my life when I would have made a different decision. When I would have been a little more selfish, reckless and vain in making this kind of decision. Luckily, life has shown me a different path, one which allows courage and vulnerability to reign over the incessant need to complete a task for my own personal satisfaction, and not consider the feelings of those who love me. I've learned there's more to this life of mine. I'm not willing to risk what I have so freely. I'm welcoming logic into the equation, and it feels good.
You know the truth by the way it feels. And that's what I was feeling yesterday morning as David flew into the LaGuardia airport, rented a car, and zoomed about 65 miles to come find me. I was feeling settled, relaxed and happy that I am now mature enough (finally) to make a decision that I know is right for me. My bags are packed, and around noon, John texts me that he's in the area (as he had not been able to make it to our destination the night before), but he's been walking and is now coming into the town of Milford, and we will meet and say "See you later".  He will continue to head to the bus station on foot. This is who John is. One more day, he says, and he too, be sleeping in his own bed. We talk, laugh, and know this is all okay. John is strong, and he's hard to crack. I'm so proud of him to be able to step away from this journey, and care for himself. It's impressive.
I hug him, knowing we will text and watch to make sure each other makes it to our final destination. There's a bond of trust we have. Unlike any other. Get better, John!
I head back over to the Super 8 motel, who has been most kind to me by allowing me a late checkout while David makes his way to Milford. I take my bags down to the Front Office and check out, and within minutes, David comes in the front door, smiling, eluding happiness that I have missed SO much! We hug, and hug, and hug some more! The Front Desk guy watches with amazement. As if he's watching a movie. He has no idea what this moment brings, but yet knows there's something unusual and special about it. I see him smiling as he watches David and I greet each other in bliss. It was pure joy to see David walk through those doors. He has come to take me home. I still find this amazing. I could get to the airport, on my own as it's not too far. Yet, David and I are a team in life, and the love we have lends to going above and beyond. He's there to ensure my safety, and take the journey home WITH me. It's only been 24 days since I have seen him, but it feels like a lifetime.
At this point, we both are ready to grab something to eat, and will need to head back to the airport. I already knew I wanted to go down the street to Chipotle. And we did, and it was magical. It was as if it were only him and I in the restaurant. Laughing, catching up, and ready to get back to the farm. He's been so very busy these last 3 weeks. It's time for us to share this life again, and make our life whole. So, off we go back to the airport, in the NY traffic. I'll just say that once we got the car rental returned, inside the terminal, and to our gate, we knew we had done it. Success! Now, we wait. The flight is delayed, and will not leave until 8:45. We did eventually leave NY on that plane (Thank you, Southwest!! We LOVE you!), and land at Lovefield just before midnight. The drive to Gunter was fast with zero traffic. I was so ready to be home, and so was David. It's now 1:30 am. First?! To the barn!!! My heart is filled with joy, love and relief to see all my babies there. It was like a show, where everyone is there, listening to each others voices, with love bouncing off the barn walls. Belle, awwhhhhh Sweet Belle, my little bottle-baby lamb. She was literally jumping for joy. Bouncing around, and calling out Maaaaaaa, Maaaaaaaa! The chickens who were roosting for the night all came out of their coops to say hello. The donkeys peered in over the barn gate, waiting for the touch of my hand on their faces. Every barn cat was walking about, as they are one big cohesive group of kitty-love. This is where I belong. I'm home.
Now it's time to get to bed. Our own bed. A shower at home, and to bed we go. It was lights out. And I mean, lights out.
There's no place like home. Dorothy got that right. The memories of my trip play like a movie in my head. And it's such a happy movie. How grateful I am for everything. Thank you for being there for me, through the ups and downs, of this trip. There were very few "downs" and 99% "ups". I'll never forget all the wonderful people I met along the way. I remember your faces out on the road, and the generosity of your spirit. God is Good. My heart is bursting with joy.
All my love, all my light,
Cyndi