The Loves Of My Life: Day 31 and 32 Seasons changing

Seasons are changing both in our life here in Houston and in regards to the weather in the Dallas area. As this cold weather moves into the Dallas area, David and I are learning what it feels like to practice "not worrying" about things on the farm. Concerned? Yes. trying not to worry? Yes, trying. Since it's going to be down to 1 degree and other single digits early next week, and then not above freezing on multiple days, we are concerned.

What does this mean?

I feel like this means, with an older home, that water pipes bursting and the inability to turn on a water hose to fill the animals water buckets presents a problem. If we were home, what we would have done in the past is cover all outside faucets and take pails of water from inside the house, to the outside for the animals - amongst other things, as well. But we are not there. Our trusty friends and caretaker will be alerting us to issues there, and I know they will get it all ironed out. So we try to not worry and simply stay concerned instead.

The animal’s well-being during this harsh weather is certainly a concern though. We have turned ourselves and this situation over to God, and I know that no matter what, everything will be okay. The barn is shut (as much as it'a able to be shut and still allow the animals to come and go), but I'm planning on driving back home tomorrow (Friday) and will cover the remaining outdoor faucets that need covering. I do have heat lamps and such, but with David and I not being there to watch the dangers of having these types of heating elements on 24/7, it's just not safe. The chickens should be okay, actually, as they normally do well in cold weather.

And Whisper and Levi are livestock guard dogs, that have layers and layers of fur, as they are an outside breed (Great Pyrenees) meant to withstand harsh weather.

Stay warm, Mama and Papa!

The donkeys have their long winter coat on and protection from the north wind and rain with their shelter, and a pond that rarely freezes for their water source.

Smokey and Junie B living large in the laundry room

The barn cats all have heated pads (safe to be on 24/7) in their little plastic crate sleeping areas meant just for them. The other barn cats have access to the laundry room (with the use of the doggie door) that happens to be shut off from the rest of the house. CatLand as I like to call it, which happens to be where my washer and dryer are located. So, the barn cats should all have safe and somewhat warm places to go in these dire temperatures.

Sir Winston

It's Winston that's my main concern. He's our old stray, who we've nursed back to health. His arthritis causes his back legs to be wonky, even on daily pain meds. He's gained quite a bit of weight, but is still not a breed meant to live outdoors although I feel sure he's only ever lived outdoors. With that said, we have a dog house that is well insulated with a dog bed just for him, with the door to the dog house blocked from the cold, north winds. Tomorrow, I'll throw an extra blanket in his dog house (on his dog bed) for added warmth. Winston's main issue is age and inability to move around easily due to physical limitations. I imaging I'll be shopping at a pet store tonight for a sweater for him, as well. I think that would help, too.

That's Gunter, how's Houston

Houston is great, my friends. Yesterday it was 67 degrees (while it was 27 degrees in Gunter). Cold here is defined by being in the 30's, and that's not bad esp in February. And since it's usually so humid, it doesn't seem all that cold.

Houston also is serving us well from the MD Anderson point of view. MDA is David's daily destination and his whole world right now. He goes from the apartment to MDA to apartment and so on. We do happen to go to Kroger together, as that's usually his "big outing".

As of today, he is now down to 1 more radiation tomorrow, and then next week, Week 6 begins. As of now, his schedule shows next week to be his last week, although we are aware they could add on another week. They had it on his schedule, took it off, and we will abide by whatever the doctors suggest. We are all in. MDA knows best, and while we are here, we will do as they say. They are the experts, they do this every day, and we are here for it. David and I have made an unspoken pack this entire time to not utter the words, "I cant wait to go back home". We just don't say that no matter how we feel. I don't think either one of us really and truly feels like that, because we can't be in a hurry to get back home right now. We have to stay focused on treating his cancer, and once that's complete, we can acknowledge that we are ready to go home. I always love traveling home on the weekends, for sure. It feels good to be home. Yet, for both David and I, we are 110% committed to this adventure and know that when it's over is when we get to be excited that we are heading back home. Being in each moment has helped us stay the course. We spend alot of our time together being in the day and moment we are in. We project our thoughts out, of course, but then bring ourselves back to the here and now. It's our best coping skill we have in our Skills Toolbox. Home Sweet Home will come again. With time.

Gravel Road

David uses the term gravel road often, and not in terms of what takes us back to our home.

Radiation burns, not a trip to the beach 😉

He says thats how his face feels, his mouth, and his throat. His salivary glands are on strike. He has hot spots in his mouth. His face is redder than red, and his skin feels nothing like skin on his face and neck. He comments that his morning medications make him feel full, because there's so many to take. Smoothies are his friend. His taste is what he misses the most, and he's hoping above all other hope, that it will return one day. He has about 5% of his smell left, and gets a wiff of maybe fruit (bananas, esp), smokey things, radon things like cottage cheese - of all things. Sometimes it's the things with the least smell/taste that he thinks he can smell. The mind is a tricky place.

He spends most of his time in bed, on the couch/chair, at MDA or on his self-care. Self-care for him never stops. At one point, he was going to list it all out, but let's just say that a good hour is needed in the morning and night, and then throughout the day - all in an effort to keep his nose, skin, mouth and throat as moist as possible. Then add in nausea on top of it all, and it's a recipe for Busy All The Time.

ZZZTown

Ah, yes, sleep. The study questions ask about sleep. It used to come easy, now it's harder for David to calm his monkey mind. Did he do all his self care? Did he forget something? Did we get all his meds in the morning and that night? Did he use the steroid cream or the regular lotion? When is the last time he had his nausea medication? He lays in bed and reviews all these things over and over so not to forget something. You see, MDA has pounded the rules in your head. You must poop everyday despite how dry your body is, because a bowel obstruction is only an hour away from happening. You must maintain a certain weight or we will put a feeding tube in you. Your blood sugar needs to be keep in a particular range, and your lab values need to be in check even though you certainly can't control all that. His chemo oncologist and radiation oncologist are his drill sergeants that make sure he knows ALL the things ALL the time. I'm back-up over here creating smoothies, placing medications in his Monday-Sunday plastic old-people medication pill holder, pouring distilled water in his NeilMed rinse, making new baking soda and water rinse (fresh daily per dr's orders) and asking over and over "what sounds good to eat?". What I do is nothing in a day compared to what he's doing. But he's still doing it, and I'm over here with my jaw on the ground watching him ROCK this whole process. How is he doing this? He's making something hard look easy. He's setting the bar high on how to make it through chemo and radiation all while still shining his bright light. He prides himself on laughing and playing around with the employees at MDA. He keeps things from being the dullness that cancer treatment can be. He dispenses gifts to these awesome employees as his way of saying Thank You throughout this process, and has a genuine care and love for them - and what they do. He's that guy staying in tune to everything they say and what's going on around him - what they like, how their families are, and how they are on any given day. He's so modest about this, as he'll act like that's what everybody does, right?

Friday, y'all

It's taken everything I have to know that going home this weekend to check on the farm is okay, and help Lauren/Ryan with their move. I mean, I have the easy job of watching Brooks and Tula. I'm thrilled at this time I will have with Brooks, and also know it'a hard thing to leave David in Houston. I've got him all set up with food and drink, medications and all needed necessities. In addition, I've rented a car for him to have in case it's needed. Since we only brought one vehicle with us, I felt it important to leave him a car while I'm gone Fri, Sat and Sunday. I told him, it has unlimited milage but that doesn't mean joy-riding is okay. It makes me feel better knowing he can get out and about if he needs - or wants to.

We also decided to get new tires on the truck, esp after seeing the upcoming bad weather. It was time for new tires, but this really prompted us to get that completed yesterday. So I'm all ready for my road trip tomorrow! I'm feeling a strong urge to get home and cover all remaining outside faucets (that are still uncovered) and set up a plan for getting water to the animals. I can't remember that last time I saw the temps falling down to 1 degree and high of teens during the day. Once I get the farm set and ready for Round 2 of really cold temps (next week), I'll feel good about stepping back away - and back to Houston for the remainder of our time.

I'm happy to report that David is moving through all of this like he was built for it. Like it's in his DNA to have chemo and radiation. Bad days and good days - we are grateful for them all.

I'l looking forward to settling my soul with settling the farm for the coming colder days. And having the wonderful opportunity to be with these two, while their mom and dad move.