My friends,
If you’ve been following my blog, then you know my sweet farmhand—and truly amazing young woman—Alexis. She’s the kind of girl who can do ALL the things, and, more importantly, she’s always willing to step up and do them. She is, in every sense of the word, a rare gem.
Alexis is now a freshman in college and an aspiring nurse. You go, girl. 💪❤️
Today, it’s with a tender and somewhat heavy heart that I share her words with you. They reflect the pain and grief she’s experiencing as she walks through the agonizing end of a long-term relationship.
We all know there is nothing easy about this kind of heartbreak. And yet, there is something incredibly beautiful about the way Alexis has chosen to put words to her pain. Her willingness to articulate her thoughts and feelings in the middle of such a storm is both courageous and healing. I imagine many of us will recognize pieces of our own stories in hers, because if we’ve lived long enough, most of us have known some version of this kind of loss.
Alexis, please know that we are standing with you—in our thoughts, in our prayers, and in our hearts.
It’s fascinating how the human experience allows us to take our deepest suffering and, somehow, turn it into connection. Even in the darkest seasons, our stories can reach out and remind someone else that they aren’t alone. For that, I am deeply grateful.
Thank you, Alexis, for your vulnerability. Thank you for trusting us with your words and for reminding us that it is safe to be vulnerable—that there is no perfect or prescribed way to move through something hard. Sometimes we simply have to sit in the darkness for a while, grieve what we’ve lost, and allow the people who love us to sit there with us.
And Alexis, please know how much I love you. I’m hurting for you, and I wish I could take some of this pain from you. But I also know this: you are a gift to this world.
Long before you become the nurse you’re dreaming of becoming, and long before life brings whatever other beautiful chapters await you, you have already begun another journey—as a writer.
And what a gift that is.
At such a young age, you have found the courage to turn your heart into words. I cherish those words, and I am so grateful you’ve chosen to share them—not only with me, but with the world.
Keep writing. Keep feeling. Keep healing. And above all, keep becoming the incredible woman you were created to be.
Thank you for gifting us this poignant piece, Alexis. ❤️
It’s been almost a month, and I still think about you every day.
I wonder how much this is affecting you. I wonder if you think about me, if you ever think about texting me, and if you do, what stops you from reaching out.
I can’t help but think about how much of this feels like my fault. I keep replaying everything, wondering if I didn’t love you the way you needed to be loved, if I pushed you too hard, or if I didn’t appreciate you or show my appreciation in the ways I should have.
I still pray almost every day that you’ll come back. Not because I want us to go back to who we were, but because I hope we both become better, individually and together. I hope this time apart teaches us that we can survive without each other, but still choose each other every day.
I just wish you didn’t feel like you had to grow alone or that you couldn’t give me what I needed, because the truth is, you are exactly what I need.
To the boy who became a man for me. I know I used to tease you about not being a man yet, but you stepped up in more ways than I can count.
To the man who made me feel more comfortable than anyone ever has. The man who waited for me. The man who got a Disney+ subscription just so we could watch the movies and shows I loved. The man who would leave flowers on my car with a note just because he was thinking about me or because I’d had a bad day. The man who would pick me up and never let me see the receipt. The man who spent hours in the gym because he wanted to be strong enough to protect me. The man who worked long hours so he could buy me said flowers and take us on dates. The man who was gentle, genuine, patient, and so full of love.
I wish I had told you more often just how much I appreciated all of it. I wish I had made you feel as loved as you made me feel. I’m so sorry that it took losing you for me to fully realize just how much you meant to me.
I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t open up to me about how you were really feeling. I’m sorry if I made you feel unheard. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough for me or like you weren’t the person I wanted.
Because you are.
You have always been the person I wanted.
I don’t know what the future holds. Maybe our story isn’t over, and maybe it is. But I hope you know that loving you changed me. It taught me what it means to be cared for, protected, and loved with patience. Those are things I’ll always carry with me.
If our paths ever find each other again, I hope we’re both stronger, healthier, and ready to love each other the way we always deserved.
And if not, I hope you never doubt that you were deeply loved, even if I didn’t always know how to show it. You left because you thought you weren’t what I needed. Did you ever consider you were all I ever wanted?
- Alexis 💔
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