Happy New Year!

Much needed gifts to self

It is an amazing thing to learn about self love. Then to practice self love. This last year has taught me I was missing self love and self worth to an extent that I had lost “me” in my prior marriage. Thanks to therapy and practicing new skills, I've learned that I have days where I might not like myself or some choices I make or things I do. Yet, I will always love myself. This has taken a year of practice for me, and I still practice self love daily. Lucille Ball said it so well, "Love yourself first and everything else falls in line." Wow, yes it sure does. 

I try to practice self talk as if I were talking to someone I love. I was talking to a co-worker the other day and this flew out of my mouth, "I figured out something recently, that the greatest love of my life is (and I paused as I reflected on this) and then said, "me". It was me all along. 

And with all that said, I adore hearing people speak with self love for themselves. No apologies. Just love for who they are and how they are. The good and the bad. The silliness and the awkwardness. And when I see and hear it, it fills my soul cup up. Everytime. And people who own their self love (truly own it) typically do so unapologetically, and I'm drawn to it like a proton to an electron. For I know these people have found the secret to life. As I really believe it's self love that is truly the secret to a most beautiful life (that rides along with self respect, self worth and self exploration in life). After all, I have found there is no external remedies for internal problems. Inward is the path to freedom. 

What now you ask

I mentioned to Lauren the other day that I think about what Reese Witherspoon once said, "The only approval you need is your own". That about sums up my life. Doing me, making my own decisions and owning them. 

And once I gave myself approval to explore the idea of moving to a new home, I've not looked back. It just felt right. It felt warm. Nothing about it felt not right. It felt like God's plan for me, that's how right it felt. 

Yes, it's been hard. Things worth doing can be hard. I'm okay with that. It hones in my coping skills a bit. It has helped me practice not sacrificing my own happiness to please anyone else. I've tried hard to stay strong through some hard situations with it along the way. At last blog post, I think I was in my first contract/offer that fell through. Then enter in my 2nd contract to sell my home to a couple - whom I had actually met at the house inspection. They showed up and I'm going to sum it up by saying this: they were completely and utterly unreasonable. I tried hard to compromise, but I've learned that you can never satisfy some people and these were some of those people. I'm going to cut to the end of this particular contract situation and say this: I will not be treated inappropriately any longer in my life and these people had to go. I said NO to any and everything they wanted (because they wanted anything and everything beyond reason) and luckily they did indeed cancel their contract just before their option period ended. One day I'll might write a whole blog post on their inappropriate behavior because it was so crazy, including attacking my character when they don't even know me all because I was not doing what they wanted me to do. You must have me confused with the old me, people. The new me doesn't accept this poor behavior(s) any longer. But I finally was able to put an end to it. So I thought. 

The first 2 offers and therefore contracts were a bust. And I’m okay with that. 

Then I moved on to another awaiting offer who had actually showed up at my house unexpectedly for a showing (another long story but in fact was meant to be) and not only offered full price but added 10K to it. At the time I was still under contract (with the above couple) but this man wrote up his offer as a "back up offer" so that when and if the contract I was in cancelled, his would go into effect. And sure enough, it did. I'm now under contract with a normal person who says normal things and makes normal requests. Whew, what a journey to get there though. 3rd times the charm. 

The (his) house inspection has been completed. He requested no repairs. He even had me cancel the foundation repair I was going to do. Is this man single? I digress. We are closing on my house on Jan 30 and the house will be his. Did I mention he's paying cash? No, I don't know if he's single.

So I better find me a place to live, people! And I found 2 places. One in Trenton and one in Wolfe City. After negotiating with both, I finalized an offer for a property and home in Wolfe City and they accepted. My home inspection is tomorrow, and if all goes well, I'll move forward and we'll close on my new-to-me home in Wolfe City with a super cute rock house (built by the family's rock business of the couple that lives there) on 21 acres (think ag exemption) with a closing on Jan 31st. God is good. 

2 ponds, a barn, a run-in shed, and an awning (with rv under)
The rv is not staying, nor is all the "stuff".
They will be removing all the things scattered about.

I love a rock house!

It's just the right size for me 💗

The man who is buying my home has agreed to lease it back to me for free for 3 weeks to allow me to find a place and get moved. Who is this mystery man, you ask. I don't have a lot of details on him, but I know he has people. His contract is signed with his name AND ASSIGNS. Meaning he can assign someone to do things for him like buy my house for him. Whoever he assigns to do so. I love a man with people. 

Wait, I do know he owns land in Celina and is now going to gobble up land in Gunter. Me first, so he says. And I'm fine with that. I'll move to where land and houses are cheaper and will be making my last mortgage payment tomorrow. His purchase price he's providing allows me to cash pay on my new-to-me home and be financially free which has been my goal all along. My realtor has been there for me all along to make this magic happen. She has known what my goal is and has worked hard to see it through. We are not at the finish line yet. But soon. And did you know that almost everyday since the crazy couple from the 2nd contract (see above) cancelled, they have asked to buy the house after all, and are "ready to move forward". 

These people 😲
I said....go away please

They bother my realtor regularly even though they know I'm under contract and am out of the option period and that this current sale is really happening. They just won't go away. Hahahaha, uh no. How many times do I have to tell them no. 

What next?

I'm currently making a plan for how to move all my animals. How to move all my coops, portable fencing and mowers. How to move all my things. After all, everybody is coming with me. It's going to be something, that's what I know for sure. And as hard as it all can feel at times, I know everything is going to be okay. Even when it's not okay, it's okay. I have many friends along with my sweet sister, Sheryl and her amazing family who are going to assist me with this difficult process. Yes, I’ve decided to use movers for all my material things, but I'm utilizing "my people" for the farm animal(s) move. Moving this many chickens is going to a whole thing. Yep, it's my monkey and my circus and I'm moving it all with me. 

Did you add to the circus?

Actually, I added and subtracted from the circus.

I made the decision to relocate my sheep and pigs to a friend who lives down the way. They are now settled, and I'm left with my 2 little goats to take with me, along with my 2 mini horses, Dora and Hope and my 3 mini donkeys, Poppy, Pippa and Baby Emerald. Plus a million chickens.

And my dogs and cats, too!

And then I received this text from my sister, Sheryl on Friday:

Turns out, while they were looking for a new pup - I ended up getting a new pup, too! A registered, 6 month old, boy yorkie. He's very light colored, which I love love.

Theo 💙

He was in the mix of all the dogs
on the car ride home

Sometimes here, too.
Unsure, but not unsure - all at the same time.

And now, Theo has joined the pack here on the farm. He's 4 lbs of pure boss power. He knows no rules.

I had stopped at Tractor Supply on my way home after getting him from Sheryl and Kristen (thanks for picking him up for me!!! 💛) as he needed a collar and lease. Neither of which has been in his life prior. 

I don't think he's been handled much. His 6 months of life has not been filled with any guidelines or assistance in socializing but instead in a crate or in a run. Yet, he does love all dogs and fits in well with my pack. So that's a win. Other than that, he's a wild card. A wild thing. And is convinced he's the pack leader of us all. We have some work to do.

A side note about how I choose this little pups name. It all started with thinking about one of my favorite quotes in Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly which is based around the quote (it was actually a speech he gave in 1910) by Theodore Roosevelt:

Dang, Theodore R, thank you, as it’s the man IN the arena who in the end, may know the high achievement, not the nay-sayers. Love this, as even after years and years it rings true in life and is a great reminder. If your going to be brave, your going to fall. 'Be brave when you’re afraid' is something I think about often. Daring Greatly remains one of my favorite books of all time. 

And therefore, Theo it is, for this most boss pup I now have. 

So add 4 lbs of doggo to the upcoming move, and little Theo is going to be here for it. It's only Day 1 and he's still figuring it all out, that's for sure. He'll get there, they all do.

Char has become an amazing girl, who once was on the euthanasia list at a shelter, and my stray (now home!) Mia fits like a glove around here and loves everyone, and Sugar is....well she's forever my Sugar Bear and I love her just as she is. She, too came from rough beginnings. Lauren mentioned that I love a needy dog, and that's basically what my indoor pack is. High need doggos. And I'm all about it.  

Christmas Love 

I saved the best for last! This was, without a doubt, the best Christmas that I can ever remember having. I loved every minute of each and every celebration I had during this Christmas season. Best. Christmas. Ever.

Olive - and her baby

Monster Truck everything, please.
Love this sweet thing!

I know more about monster trucks than one could ever know about monster trucks. And Brooks is the one that makes all the monster truck magic happen. "It's Monster Mutt, Nana, not Monster Muck." Got it, not to self has been made. Mutt.

Loves her little tea pot 💟

I am beyond blessed with these 2 amazing sweetie pies. And my family. And my friends. Thanks to all who blessed me their time and presence during this 2024 holiday season. It's one for the books and my favorite-est one ever! These two were and are a big part of the reason for the season.  

Their love for one another is fire

I do love buying girlie girl things now.....

2024 has been a year of healing, growing and learning to love me. Which in turns allows me to love more deeply to those I love. 2025 is going to be a year of more love, surprises, new beginnings and leaving the year before better than I found it. 

Happy New Year!

Here's to all the things God has in store for us in this coming year. I can't wait to see what happens! 

Next up though? Another visit to my mom and dad - hopefully in January. It's mom's birthday and I'll need to hug her neck for that. 

Hugs to you ALL,

Cyndi

Calling the universe

How's the selling of the house going?

How about we start with that, right? Let me sum up what it's been like having my house on the market:

House cleaned up, many things tossed out. Lots of death cleaning going on. Getting rid of things that no longer need to be in my particular universe. Made the house "show ready" per my realtor. That means minimal things in and around my house, and a clean house please. Then, showings happened and animal corralling ensued during those said showing times, esp with Crazy Charlotte and Marvelous Mia who together create a stick of dynamite. 

I digress. And then, offers came. An offer was picked and negotiated. That offer went bad and things did not go well during the option period as they were folks that were not best to do business with. Bright side? The general inspection went well, and no big things to fix from it as far as general house things go. Just mostly small things. More showings, another offer. Negotiations still ongoing, but at a halt while I (me, personally) had a foundation inspection done because I've had foundation work done previously on this house and it's ALWAYS a question I get - and is not extensively looked at in a general inspection. Soooo my foundation company came out and sure enough, I need more foundation work. Offer on hold. I'll need to get the foundation repaired before proceeding. Awaiting the estimate for this dog and pony show that's about to drop not only into my pocketbook, but into the dirt around the parameter of my house on 3 sides, which from my experience, makes a biggo mess of the place and requires cleanup expense as well. I can do hard things. Hold, please.

There's no getting around the putting off of the foundation work. It needs to be done no doubt. And I'm okay with that. But it's about this time that I made a call to the universe making sure I'm signed up for the health and wealth package for 2025. I would not like to pursue the life lessons package again this year please.

Rule your kingdom well

This experience of placing my home on the market has enabled me to utilize many of my newfangled skills I've nurtured this past year. Afraid? Do it anyway. Reminder: do not abandon ones self. And don't quit before even beginning, esp when the house selling things get hard. Move outta da way, beep. Move outta da way. Sometimes you gotta get outta your OWN way. I've made a note to self when my frustrations are actually doorways, whereby I need to step next. Oh yeah, and Cyndi, don't forget to step aside from misaligned folks. This has been a key piece of the puzzle for me. Stay true to ones self. 

It's in this season (esp with this home selling situation) of my life that I've really begun to understand what it means to look deep inside myself for the answers of my own life. I've caught myself listening to my knowing - and acting on my own knowing. Go me! I had lost my ability to recognize my own intuition or if I did happen to feel it, I was not likely to act on it, in my past life. To now recognize AND feel my own intuition again has been life-changing. Decisions look very different now. I had been conditioned to ignore my own knowing for far too long and to be able to actually feel it again is something I can hardly put into words - and the self awareness of it shakes me to the core. To think I ignored myself for so long is heartbreaking for me. It’s been something I’ve been working on - listening to my own knowing. And then acting on it. Sounds simple, right? It is truly an amazing gift we as humans have, and something I won’t ever take for granted. It’s helped me to understand my own self, my needs and desires, and tune out what others desire for me or try to steer me to. It's me for me and I can't remember a time where I've felt this to be so true. I'm fortunate that I've given myself this time and opportunity to grow and heal, and move forward in a new way in life. I feel it - and it feels absolutely freeing and wonderful. So as I pivot, move forward, then pivot again in this house selling adventure, I keep my eye on the prize. Stay tuned, folks. This ain't over til it's over. 

Dutch Boy

I'm so very happy to report that Dutch's leg is healing.

It's trying so hard to get better.
Trying to try.

It's been a slow, very slow process but he's getting there. It was an odd scenerio playing out around here as Levi was on antibiotics, too, for a wound at the tip of his tail. I'll never know how these doggos have these things happen, but Levi came home with the tip of his tail missing. This was after Penny had just recovered from her abdominal mass and antibiotics were finished for her. That's about the time Dutch had his leg wound and medications given, of which included antibiotics. It was like an infirmary around here. Then, at Sugar's recent teeth cleaning, they extracted 17 more teeth and she was put on antibiotics. I know that sounds unreal and I did not even believe it myself. Sugar looked like she had been hit by a train when I picked her up. Poor thing.

Turns out dogs have about 42 teeth in their mouth. Who knew. From the very moment I took in Sugar (she was about 1 1/2 year old) she could not eat hard food/hard kibble. She's been on a soft diet her whole life with me, and has slowly been losing all her teeth with each dental cleaning she has. The vet reassures me it's nothing I'm doing, but that her teeth are not able to thrive in her mouth for whatever reason. Her whole upper right side of teeth had to be removed this time. The vet warned me......sometimes a dog's tongue will stick out and hang out of their mouths when that many teeth are missing. Great. Just great. 

Sugar has recovered and is off antibiotics now, too. Her tongue is not hanging out of her mouth. But I think the vet is preparing me for the inevitable of the day that it will come to that. And dare I say that all dogs have finished their medications and antibiotics. I'm pretty sure I paid the vet's mortgage payment for a couple of months while all this was going on. But everyone is fine now. For now. 

Marvelous Mia

Mia has settled in nicely here at the farm. 

Silly girl stole my spoon I was stirring dinner with 
when I wasn't looking.

She's gained weight, grown her hair out and has made a best friend in Char. With her second bestie being Penny. All is well in the world of dogs. 

It's like they were meant to be together
right here 

All the farm animals are doing wonderful! The fur-sweeties like my horses, donkeys and goats have grown out their winter coat and are furry-furry so to keep warm for the winter. I've placed straw in all their shelters and sleeping quarters, and I'm happy to report the ease of which we have transitioned to winter time. Even Lil Emerald is super furry - and happy! She's eating feed now, along with hay, and no longer just nursing. She'll wean from her mama at around 6 months, if not sooner. She's the best little donkey girl you could ask for. 

Sweet Emmie eating her hay like a big girl

Eating beside her mama 🤗
All with Sugar, Char and Mia 
cruising the barn

As I went to the barn tonight to wish everyone a good sleep tonight, I’ll share with you what it looks like in the barn at bedtime. 

Suzie Q claims this window spot
early on each evening 

The ducks now sleep in the barn 
and spend much of their time with the chickens

Full house every night

Paul loves sleeping right beside 
his best friend in the mirror 

Nite nite. Love you all to the barn and back,

Cyndi