With love, comes loss

It's a bit ironic that my last blog post was titled Goodbye, Things. It was in no way associated with what was "to come", but I felt a pang of "oh dear" when I saw that I had titled that as my last post. With that said, my heart is heavy. At this point, one might think I'm speaking of a relative or friend. Actually, I'm speaking of a recent happening on our farm.
Sugar is one of our newest additions to our chicken flock. We purchased two Polish (Silkie) chickens that are adorable, sweet natured, tame and bantam-sized (small breed). One was white, the other tan. We named them Sugar and Spice. We raised them in our shower inside the house, until they were ready to go outside to the Little Girl Coop. There is a transition process for adding chickens to an existing flock. Everyone does it a little different, and David and I have developed our own way of transitioning new chickens in with the others. This time was no different. Sugar and Spice moved from the shower to the Little Girl Coop, which is a closed, smaller coop in the barn, with a heat lamp to allow them time to adjust to the colder temperatures. The other chickens can get to know them, smell them, and adjust to them, before we let the newer chickens out to free range with the existing flock. It was during this time in the Little Girl Coop that we noticed Sugar was not her normal self. It was as if she lost control of her legs and feet. We did what all chicken people are told to do, and isolated her from the flock so that whatever she might have, is not given to the other chickens. A virus or disease can spread through a flock quickly and kill your entire chicken population. And it happens fast. We brought her back inside to the comfort and controlled environment of the shower. She was still eating and trying to drink, but her condition was progressively worsening day by day. Eventually, she could not eat or drink on her own, and her legs seemed paralyzed. We searched the internet for what might be the problem, all the while looking for a solution. A friend called her vet for advice, and we sought help from another chicken person. It appeared to be Marek's disease. This is horrible, as it's a fatal virus (very few chickens survive it, apparently) and now we run the risk of our other chickens being exposed to it, unless we got her out of the barn quick enough. Only time would tell. For now, our sweet little girl chicken, Sugar, is losing the battle. David and I begin feeding her (with a syringe) of our famous concoction consisting of wheat germ, peanut butter, electrolytes, and water. She readily opens her beak for us to feed her. She loves it actually, but is unable to control any of her body movements except her head. The virus is winning. We continue this for days. We sustain her life with this mixture of food and water, but her body has given out, and she cannot do anything but lay completely down. Head, wings, legs - everything is heavy on the floor of the shower on the pine shavings that are her bed. The suffering is hard to see, hard to watch, and is heart breaking. Now what? In all our time of having chickens, this is our first sick chicken. We once again go to the internet to search what other people have done, what is best, and what should we do next? It's not good news. Either we stop the food and water, and she slowly passes away. Or we "humanely" euthanize her to stop her suffering. Since I had began feeding her myself, I was guilty of continuing her situation, that was not going to get better. Only sustaining her misery.
After much education from chicken forums, thinking about it for some time, and talking with David, we knew what we had to do. We could not let her suffer any more. There were many helpful sources to help us process our situation. We had to accept this dilemma of a sick chicken who is dying. We don't let go easily. Many reputable chicken websites explain that with the responsibility of a flock, comes the responsibility of losses, and what to do in those situations. It won't always be rainbows and butterflies.
Fast forward to the ending of the story. Sugar passed away. Our hearts broke when she left us. It will take time to heal, but we must understand this is life on a farm. Her sister chicken, Spice is left alone without her best friend. It's a tragic loss for us, as it is our first loss. We have gone a very long time here on our "hobby" farm with healthy, strong and hearty animals. We haven't taken that for granted, mind you. We have always known that a time will come when something might happen. And that day came yesterday.
Rest In Peace, Sugar. We will march on with our flock, knowing that you are with us in spirit. The Circle of Life seems so logical and normal to me. Until I lost a chicken, and realize how delicate they really are. In the blink of an eye, she's gone. The blessing is that our flock is okay, and no one is showing those same symptoms. Truly a blessing.
Love and Loss. David said those words yesterday. With love, there is loss. It was a reminder I needed to hear. But, it's still hard.

Stay strong,
Cyndi