Right-sizing

There seems to be an unintentional theme going on lately. I almost titled this writing as Part II of Love and Loss, yet I felt it would be unfair to Sugar, as this particular loss I'll describe, was intentional - for the good of our farm animal. I'll narrate this in story form:

The Life and Times of Pickles

There once was a Mama and Papa donkey, who were both rescued from different places, to be brought together on a farm in Gunter. They quickly bonded, and got along very well, as if they had been together for many years. As their love for each other grew, they decided to have a baby donkey. To the surprise of the owners, a baby donkey was born in the pasture. Congrats Mama and Papa Donkey, you now have a baby boy. We shall name him Rocco, with a nickname of Baby.
Baby grew up in the pasture with his parents, Mama and Papa who are very tame, loving and kind. Yet, as Baby grew, his Mama and Papa began to see him differently. He matured into a grown donkey, and the dynamics of the herd changed. What was once two donkeys, now became three donkeys with family issues. There was jealousy and challenges along with playfulness and love.
Then, those owners decided to move away from Gunter, and sell their house to two unknowing people who readily agreed to let the donkeys stay, as the original owners could not take them with them. This new couple became fast friends with the donkeys, and fell in love with these sweet, gentle, full-size donkeys. Mama, Papa and Baby came to trust them impeccably, as well. Rocco was renamed to Pickles, but again was commonly called Baby. Time went forward, and the new owners built the threesome herd a large, new shelter, just for them. The herd is very smart, as when it's raining, they head under their shelter. They also use it for protection from the north wind. When the grass doesn't grow during the winter, round bales of hay are their food of choice. Life was good and easy, except for the continuation of isolation for Baby. As Baby got older, Mama and Papa became more dominant. Baby was readily nudged away at Treat Time. He would be chased off by Papa on random and inconsistent occasions. What appeared to be intermittent isolation was becoming a way of life for Baby. He was the third wheel, the outcast, the one who was never first. This behavior by Mama and Papa began to create uncertainty in Baby, and he began to be more stand-offish. At times, Papa could even be physically harming to Baby. Is this how it's supposed to be, the owners wondered? This behavior concerned the new couple over time. Is this normal donkey hierarchy? Is Baby needing to find a place of his own - to be able to be himself?
Baby turned three years old recently. Granted this is still young in donkey years, as they live to 35 years old. A decision was made by the owners to give Baby a chance at life without being bossed around by his Mama and Papa. This was a long and thought out decision, that took many months to finalize. Baby was ready to be on his own, and become an independent donkey. He's ready to be a guard donkey for someone, ready to live his best life making his own decisions without intimidation and domination.
A search brought the owners to a farm that was needing one donkey to protect a foal, as well as an older horse. This was a perfect opportunity for Baby to step up to the plate. He could be himself. He knows how to protect, and this farm wanted him as a pet as well, which is how he's used to being treated. Baby would have the best of both worlds, as he could still do his "job" - and be loved.
A day and time was agreed upon, and a transfer from one pasture to another (not too far away) would take place. Now, Baby has never been harnessed, he's never been in a trailer, nor has he ever left his home of 3 years. How would this transfer actually happen, as he would need to be coxed into a horse trailer and driven to his new home. But it did happen, just last Saturday here on the Graves Farm. Baby walked (rather willingly) into the horse trailer, and went along with the process wonderfully. He was so gentle and good, and everyone was so proud of him.
Baby left the Graves Farm in a luxury horse trailer and headed out to his new chapter in life. This new chapter for him includes freedom, and the ability to become his own self. Where his potential was once stifled at one farm by his own donkey parents, changed in the blink of an eye to his own self-awareness, his needs and wants, as well as the ability to make his own decisions.
And Baby will live happily ever after. The End. It's not really the end. But that's how stories usually end, with The End.

There was one person who cried a few tears in this particular "loss" (surprise, that was me). Between Sugar and Baby leaving me this weekend, it was rough. With that said, how's Mama and Papa Donkey doing, you ask? Well, they are snuggling and side-by-side as they always have been. But I know it can't be easy. (Am I just placing my own feelings on them?). I feel for them. Do they look around for him? Do they miss him? It's rare that donkey families stay together, so what are the emotions they have? I wish I knew. As I go about my day, I pet Mama and Papa, I love on them as I always do, and they love me back as usual - without the uncomfortable "keeping Baby away" thing going on. But I can't help but wonder......was that just what happens in donkey families? I may never know. I can only do what I think is best for our sweet Baby. That's what we do in life. The best we can in any situation.

David sums this experience up as right-sizing. We are keeping the balance on the farm, doing what we think is best, and cultivating harmony and happiness for all who live here. It sounds easy, but sometimes it's hard. Since we have gone so long without loss or change, this seemed like a weekend of uncertainty. It will take a little time to settle into these changes with these farm-animal-world happenings here on The Graves Farm, but I have a feeling there's more unpredictable things in the future. Some good and some not-so-good, but nevertheless we will take things as they come and enjoy all the blessings we have. We are most grateful. Faith keeps us strong in times of trials. We also have to trust our own intuition, have self-compassion, and keep learning. And just do what we think is best.

It's going to be okay,
Cyndi