I took a blog-cation. Not a glamorous, passport-stamped, umbrella drink bacation. More like the "mentally wandering around in my life in sweatpants" variety. But I'm back! And apparently, I spent my time off reflecting - which is what happens when you're alone with goats and your thoughts for too long.
For reasons unknown, I've been thinking about the people around me, the animals around me and the life around me....and how I'm still so stinkin surprised at my good fortune. So I'm jotting it down before I forget and start complaining about goat feed prices.
Let's begin.
1. My Health
It might seem odd that this is #1, but my current health lets me build fences, go for runs, wrangle grandkiddos, shop and walk the entire store, and approximately one billion other things I absolutely refuse to take for granted.
Being a nurse means I see, daily, how quickly life can pivot. One minute you're power-walking Target, the next minute you're the one with a broken hip, heart attack or amputation - or worse, you're the cautionary tale on Dateline. We always think it only happens to "other people". Spoiler alert: everyone thinks they're other people.
Which brings me to Exhibit A:
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| Goat Pen North Expansion, Phase 2.0 |
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| South Side - because turns out, I am a Fencerwomen and Farm Project Manager |
Sadly, these photos do not depict the true blood, sweat and fears that has been poured into the multi-phase Goat Pen expansion I've coined as Janky Town.
Phase 1.0 Completed a few months back - yep, built my first fence ever
Phase 1.5 Bush clearing, bush craft (that ones for you, Lauren) and clean up
Phase 2.0 More fencing placed because I can.
Listen. I know it looks like a hot mess. But pounding in T-posts? That does something to a women's soul. It's primal. It's empowering. It's "I will build this fortress myself and also probably need ibuprofen."
Add in the fact my very own body allows me to do this. ** ring the gratitude bell here please.
I enjoyed clearing out brush, bushes, and those weird thorn plants that seem to be made of heavy-duty rubber - all to clear an additional area for Coco and Pearl to enjoy bark from trees, leaves off the ground, tasty forbs and critique my landscape choices. I'm basically a goat real estate developer.
Also though, I'm doing this with selfish reasons knowing full well those goats will clear the ground of weeds, leaves and other plant material that other animals would not eat. This is in addition to the area I had fenced for them a few months back to enjoy fresh yummy green grass. It's almost like I'm creating a habitat for them that I would want if I was a goat. I mean, why not.
Phase 2.5 was completed yesterday, which included the setup of the official bedroom suite for my girlies.
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| Coco said no visitors in her bedroom |
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| Making sure you understood her |
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| That's better |
In the words of Snoop Dog, I'd like to thank myself. Specifically, my body - which keeps showing up for the assignments I give. That is not something I take lightly.
Because I am able-bodied, my two sweet goats are enjoying and exploring new taste and space. And yes, I'm fully aware that agricultural experts would say they don't need this much space. But those experts have not met Coco and Pearl. They deserve all the tree branches to nibble on, all the limbs and tree trunks to taste, and to crunch leaves. Don't you worry, I goat this.
Please hold while I stretch. Phase 3.0 of expansion coming soon.
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| Me: Contemplating ideas |
2. Connection
This makes me smile: Friends and family.
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| My favorite super hero |
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| My favorite donkey groomer |
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| The bestest boy |
Olive and Brooks are pure magic. Lauren and her husband, Ryan are almost as fun as their kids. Almost. Let's be honest, parents are professional fun-suckers. Look it up. It's in the job description.
I am deeply grateful for the secure, close relationships in my life - my daughter, my sister, their families, my gracious, beautiful friends, and my parents, who I appreciate more with every passing year. Aging has given me the gift of understanding them in ways I couldn't before.
The real miracle? We don't just love each other because we're related. We actually like each other. That feels rare. And sacred.
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| Even my doggos remind me what community looks like. They squabble. They side-eye. But at the end of the day? Furever family. |
So much of who I am is due to staying grounded with my amazing family and friends. They are key in my life - as I'm sure yours are as well. The connections we have are so important. I recently had a sweet friend over to the farm and our conversation(s) reminded me just how much connection strengthens us with one another. Esp when we allow ourselves to lean into hard topics, be vulnerable with one another and allow others to see us as we truly are - and not a narrative we create. No pretending, no superficial being - instead, taking our masks off to reveal our true selves to those who love and support us the most. To see and hear others - and be seen and heard. That's where the magic lives. Whether it's at work, at home, my C3-ers, or with family - connection fills my soul cup up. To the brim.
3. Feathers and Fur
Oh, my heart.
Never a dull moment.
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| It's the one blue eye that makes my heart sing |
I did recently take my 4 rottie foster pups back to HSNT so they could be 'altered' (neutered and spayed) so that they would be eligible for adoption. It's hard - every time - to let them go. Some more than others, but overall, it's either tears for me - or glassy eyes. I was to receive my next foster this past weekend, Colton, a 3 year old, 70 lb black lab who is heart worm positive. I was to take him and care for him during his heart worm treatment, but the day prior to getting him, I received an email. Turns out Colton got into an "altercation" with another dog during play group time and HSNT reached out to me to let me know he may be too reactive for a placement with me due to my dogs.
Translation: Not a fit for your zoo. Fair enough.
As I've worked on personal growth and healing these last couple of years, I've noticed that this also pours into being a more-informed foster pawent. These animals may come to me with past trauma, past homelessness, or an untrusting nature due to their own backgrounds and experiences. And to be blessed with a foster animal(s) that may cultivate mutual growth opportunity, has provided me the ability to self-reflect on how best to care for them. What do they need in this moment? Safety? Food and shelter? Are they open to love and touch? Are their walls up - and how high? And then my own self-reflection brings a lump to my throat and eyes that well up. Is my heart open? And the realization that this foster experience is helping my own heart learn to open and trust again can feel overwhelming. And in these moments, there is a mutual feeling of 'I got you". We do, we got each other.
And since I'm on some kind of self-reflection train, I tilt my head a little, and realize just how much I've gotten in a groove with all my animals.
The barn runs like a well-rehearsed musical. Everyone knows when it's time to eat, where to go, where not to go. Everyone puts themselves to bed in the barn and they all have shelter from the outside elements. We all work together to try and stay in sync, with minimal diversion from the routine, i.e food supply. Otherwise, the donkeys hee-haw like we're under attack and the goats file a formal complaint.
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| Chicken bedroom |
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| Places everyone |
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| Attitude when routine is interrupted |
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| Freedom in the back pasture is always welcome |
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| Cat Land and feed time l to r, June Bug, Cricket and Kitty |
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| Paul is my rock at the barn. He loves me in a way no other fowl has ever loved me - enthusiastically and slightly judgmentally. Always happy to see me and not because I'm the Treat Lady. |
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| 15 next month! Maybe, you look fabulous! |
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| Lil Pixie Pie is fully recovered and although has no eyes, she sees me better than most humans. |
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| Me: IYKYK |
My life?
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| Susie Q here will not be home for dinner with the fam tonight |
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