Choosing myself

It’s interesting—this thing of living alone. Over the last few months, I’ve found only a small handful of people who fully understand or embrace the idea of me choosing a quiet life in the middle of nowhere. A life where I intentionally lean into independence, do things on my own, and trust that if I ever need support, my people are there.

What I’ve come to realize is that I’m choosing me. And while that may sound simple, it’s not always common—especially for women. It took a lot of unhealthy patterns and difficult years for me to finally understand that the most important relationship I’ll ever have is the one I have with myself. And if I don’t honor that, no one else can do it for me.

I’ve noticed a shift within: I’ve stopped waiting for approval, for permission, or to be chosen. I’m navigating by my own compass now. And there’s something deeply empowering about that. Of course, there can still be space for love, for a man, or even for men in my life. The difference is that I’m choosing, not simply waiting to be chosen.

Growing up, I was taught to stay small, to please others, and to wait my turn—to be chosen, especially by a man. That lesson was taught with enthusiasm, and I attended that class for far too long. Thankfully, that course is no longer in session, at least not in my world. We’re in a new era—one where women are reclaiming their voices, their power, their space. And I’m here for it. 

So let’s bring it back. Living intentionally, choosing myself, walking a path that may look unconventional—that’s not something I’ve seen modeled often. And I’ve noticed that those closest to me—my family, my dear friends—sometimes express worry about this path I’ve chosen. I get it. It’s unfamiliar to them. It feels different. Maybe even a little uncomfortable.

But here’s the beautiful part: these conversations have brought us closer. The honesty, the concern, the willingness to speak from the heart—it’s created deeper connection and trust. And in those moments of sharing, I’ve come to better understand their perspective, and they’ve come to better understand mine.

What strikes me most is this: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and yet there’s still some quiet apprehension from those I love. And that’s okay. That, too, is part of the journey.

Maybe the takeaway here is that living an unconventional life isn’t for everyone. Or maybe it's that when a woman fully steps into her power, it can feel unfamiliar—maybe even a little risky—to those who’ve never seen it done that way. But times are changing. We’re learning the difference between settling for potential vs choosing secure, conscious love. We’re learning to trust ourselves.

Sure, some might say the moral is to be more careful. And yes, there’s wisdom in caution—in the right moments like work and grandkids. But for me, it’s about living fully. Unapologetically. Gratefully.

I’m just out here in Wolfe City, living my life the way I’ve chosen. And I’m thankful for it—every single day. I’m glad to be here. And I’m glad you’re here, too.

Stay salty y'all,

Cyndi

Oh, and I promise, a farm blog is in the works.....but these thoughts and feelings were on my mind, as I've had multiple conversations with loved ones about my new life in Wolfe City. Thank you for listening to my more serious side - and a farm update will be up next. Love to you all  💟