From cocoon to butterfly

What a life! Sometimes I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I say girl because my 12 year old inner child continues to thrive, heal and show up with gratitude each and every day. I've learned more in this last year than I have in many, many years. And it just feels so good. 

Enough about me.......

GUESS WHAT!? 

It's a GIRL! 💕
Welcome, Emerald to this big 
beautiful world. 

It's hard to believe a baby donkey this big was in her.
This is the very morning after she was born in the night!

It's hard to believe I went to bed on Monday night with a pregnant Pippa and woke up with a new foal beside her early that next morning. Emerald was dry, walking, nursing and receptive to my love and pets from the first moment we met. And funny thing, she looks just like Poppy! 

I was so excited that she finally arrived. Pippa appeared tired Tuesday morning, but is the most wonderful mama. Also, Pippa trusts me, which is a wonderful thing as I've had her long enough now to gain her understanding that I won't hurt her baby. She's extremely protective of Emerald and I feel so privileged to be able to love on her new foal and even pick her up. 

So that Tuesday morning when I saw her, I was soooo excited and couldn't wait to get to her. Then, after much love and pets given, I prepared the stall where Pippa and Emerald will stay for a few days. Their own Donkey B&B. I placed lots of straw down, plenty of food and water and planned on keeping them away from Poppy (her bestie) and from Dora and Hope for a couple of days. Not that any of them would hurt Emerald, but I'd been advised to allow them time to bond as well as provide safety for them both as they adjust to their new lives. A new mama and a new foal figuring out the world around them.

Yet, Poppy was upset that she was not in the same stall as Pippa and her new foal. So, with some trialing of them together with Emerald, I realized Poppy and Pippa would do best together along with Emerald - and that worked out wonderfully. Everyone was happy.

All together and loving it

Since the new foal looks like Poppy, at first glance that early Tuesday morning, I didn't realize it was Pippa's baby when I went out to the barn. But once I did, I was surprised that I was so surprised because I knew this day was coming soon. And at 6 am, whereby Emerald was born in the night, Pippa was wasting no time nudging her and trying to get to the barn for breakfast. Busy night, right Pippa?

Pippa's like: your born now, let's get to moving lil girl and go inside the barn. 

Whereby they would stay for a few days. 

It's been a blessing to watch this all unfold. Pippa is approx 20-25 years old and Poppy is approx 30 years old. The average life span for a mini donkey is said to be 33 years old (although some can live longer and even up to 45 years). So these two girls are not young, and I'm most grateful Pippa's pregnancy and birth went so well. And an odd thought I have is: since my own lifetime does not include another 33 years, Emerald will likely be having Lauren and Ryan as her caretakers in the long run. And maybe even sooner than later, once they get their home built and may want Emerald on their property. We'll see what that brings, as donkey's are herd animals and have a need to bond with another donkey(s). So Emerald would eventually need a friend. That's for much later to manage. For now, Poppy, Pippa and Emerald are all doing well and were released with Dora and Hope this weekend. Everyone is happy, healthy and cohesive. This is what life is all about. Watching this kind of love and the raising of a foal is a gift. It makes me smile every time I see that sweet baby. She's beginning to jump and play and it's the most adorable thing besides Olive and Brooks.

Cancer is the cure for life

As my MD Anderson appt approaches, I've been thinking a lot about having cancer and what it means to me. Truly, my blood cancer, polycythemia vera has been a cure, of sorts, for me. It reminds me to live my life exceptionally. And although my particular cancer itself has no cure, the cure it does bring me is a daily teaching of :

healing

self-love

self-worth despite disease

acceptance of what is

and an abundance of gratitude for life itself

Which all takes me to a place of:

protecting my peace and the desire for calmness in life

focusing on communicating better with those who are most important in my life

knowing I'm never too old to do what I want to do in life

and seeing the world from a lens whereby everything is shiny, sparkly and glittery

I would have never quite realized how impactful this particular journey was going to be. These are daily revelations that my cancer brings which I have found to be curative in many aspects of my life. Knowing every day is a gift and to live it with zest, love and peace. And to try and be better in my own life. And I can only be better to others when I'm better to myself first. Taking care of my physical and mental health is first and foremost. 

The month of September is Blood Cancer Awareness month. Each September I think about how my cancerversary just passed another year in August. I'm going on 5 years strong now, and although that means the clock is ticking, it also means every day matters most. I'm continuing my Besremi cancer treatment and will have my follow up appt at MD Anderson later this week. I always look forward to hearing and seeing the health care workers there. They are the ones with the resources and guidance to assist my community oncologist (at Texas Oncology) with my status and treatment. I appreciate all they do and their dedication to their patients. It really is a privilege to be seen at MD Anderson. 

And to all those with cancer, I stand with you. Cancer is a gift that provides an opportunity to show yourself how life is to be lived. And also an opportunity to show those around you how cancer is done. I'm often asked how I'm feeling and for some reason always seem to pause at this question when it's asked of me. I don't often think about how I feel in regards to cancer and my treatment (regarding the side effects of both). I think about 'what can I do today'. So I'm never really sure how to answer that question and end up stumbling and stammering over it. The one thing I know for sure is I'm feeling as good as I can with what I've got. And I'll take that. 

With age comes loss, as does with love comes loss

This chicken-year has been a rough one. I've had more chicken's who passed this year than any other. There's several reasons for this. One, the heat really affected them more than usual. Two, I've had a respiratory disease blow in and affect at least 10% of my flock (if not more). Three, so many of my girlz have been with me for 5, 6 years or more and their end of life is all hitting around the same time. I have many hens who are indeed - old. I've had the farm for over 8 years now with many chickens during this time. It's hard to watch my long-time flock residents getting old. I see when they start to 'go down'. Heartbreaking, yet reflects the circle of life. Ugh.

I have met a new chicken-lady friend, Anna, whom I purchased a few layers from. She then informed me she could get laying hens for a good price and I ended up purchasing 25 cinnamon queens from her. These girlz are great egg layers, and although they are in molt right now, they'll be beautiful and wonderful layers for me soon. They are laying, but will lay more with time. 

I know, they look shabby chic while in molt

But they’ll feather up soon ❤️
and be beautiful butterflies 

My egg sales profit now pays for all my feed on the farm. So keeping over 100-150 hens is very helpful in regards to egg sales and placing those funds back into the farm. It's a lot of work, don't get me wrong. But it's a labor of love that brings me joy and also brings me an additional income. 

Now that's a big change

Yep, big changes are coming for Ryan and Lauren. No, their house has no progress to report on. It's still the lot, with the marking posts and the gravel road leading to it. Nothing else as of yet. Maybe in October there may be dirt work or better yet, even a foundation. But nothing is guaranteed and Lauren and Ryan are making a new change while they await their home to be built. 

Long story short, since Lauren's dad is no longer living in his home, they have agreed that Lauren's family can move in and stay there while things shake out with their home-to-be-built. 

That's new, right? So Lauren and Ryan are packing up some things (not everything) as some furniture and other items will remain in my house until they move back to Gunter into their own home. But they are taking alot of their things as a family of 4 needs many things. They will be moving within the next week or two. 

I will then have a home of just me, myself and I. No furniture of my own in it, except for a kitchen table/chairs and the furniture in my master bedroom. Wait, there's a desk, too. This all means my home will need stuff. Wall things, furniture, etc. So my mind is swirling with that, as my home is an open slate. An opportunity to reveal what a home of my own might look like and have inside. Oh goodness, I'm not sure. Time will reveal this to me and it's something I'm proud to have made happen. Me. Making decisions. Doing things. It's the best feeling - and the scariest - all in one. Scited, that's it, I'm scared and excited all at the same time.

So as my farm animals (talking to you Pippa and Emerald) and Lauren and Ryan - and me as well - all make our way from our cocoons and relish in the process of turning into beautiful butterflies - we continue to grow, change and become. It is and has been a long process and we are still in it. Stay tuned.

Gonna keep tuning out the noise,

Cyndi