Good News

It's been over 2 weeks since Whisper's surgery. It's also been a couple of weeks now that we have been bottle feeding little lamb, Grace. "We" being the key term. David and/or I bottle feed her in the morning and evening, and our knight-in-shining-armor, Paul dutifully comes by every day at lunch, to make sure Grace gets her milk. He heats the water, mixes the formula and puts it into the bottle and faithfully delivers that bottle to Little Grace in the barn or pasture. She is the oldest of the lambs born recently, yet the smallest, although she is likely to catch up in size, with time. She got behind the curve when her mama, Eve decided not to let her nurse within a week of being born.
What is unique about Grace is her dedication to Eve, although she's not being nursed by her. Grace has to watch her twin (Clara) nurse from Eve, and when Grace attempts to do the same, Eve disallows it by either pushing her away, or merely walking off - over and over. Grace has no choice but to give up. This phenomenon of rejection is fascinating. Graces' attachment to Eve is strong, despite not being nursed by her. It took time to orient Grace to a bottle of milk vs her mama. Hunger took over - and Grace became so hungry, the bottle was readily accepted, with time and continual trying. Now, she wants a bottle all day every day. She cries and cries for it. Luckily, she is eating alfalfa and some grain, but even the fight for that is hard because she's the smallest. Sheep can be cruel, as they are greedy eaters. They enjoy eating so much, that there's a vaccine for sheep called CDT. It's for the treatment of enterotoxemia: the overeating disease. It's a combination vaccine for clostridial disease and tetanus, which is typically given by the age of 10 weeks. Basically, it's so they won't kill themselves by overeating. I don't know the details of "how" it all works, but know that we vaccinate our sheep yearly for it, and plan on vaccinating our lambs in a few weeks. If we choose to give Grace a bottle every time she cried and asked for it, we could essentially cause her death. So many times a day now, she's asking for milk, and since she's at an appropriate size and on a feeding schedule, we don't typically deviate from that. But yet, she cries her sweet cry. Hurts my heart, but we have to do what's in her best interest. Grace is thriving wonderfully, and follows me around the pasture asking for a bottle. I love having another lamb imprinted to me. Belle is such a kind soul, and I imagine once we wean Grace off of Eve, she will begin to be more independent.
As Grace grows, so do the other lambs. They are all so sweet, cute and playful. The three little girl lambs play and chase each other. They jump and run, chasing each other like children do. I can certainly see how people just have more and more lambs. I don't know if I'm going to be okay saying these will be my only lambs. Yeah, I know I've already said that. I enjoy them so much, that I may have to have more. Sam The Ram, I continue to thank you for these gifts of sweet babies.
As time goes on, Eve, Grace and Clara remain a tight unit - as does Belle and LuLu. The 5 are a true flock. They roam together and all get along very well. It's magical watching them in the pasture, as they are such kind and innocent farm animals. They are not mischievous like (cute!) goats, or messy like (cute!) pigs, and I mean those things in the nicest way. But sheep are docile and quaint. They are unable to protect themselves from predators, and rely on others for their safety. Their Baa's are soft and delicate. I never knew sheep were so gentle. I am fortunate to witness it every day.
** Side Note: I must interject that the donkeys are empirically and surprising gentle and kind, too. And when I type that, it leads me to say: so are the chickens, the dogs, the barn cats........Our Farm Community is kind.
Sometimes when life gives you this equilibrium, it feels so good to live it, and be in that moment of really feeling it. What the animals give me, makes me want to give back even more. I know the animals can feel the love, as I can certainly feel theirs. This weekend, we had the opportunity to share some of the animals with family and friends. My sister and her fabulous family came by, and friends as well. My sister's grandchildren are all so wonderfully loving and sweet. I would love to have them over every weekend! We love having people drop by. David and I are the first to say that Hosting is a talent, and we are still learning and figuring out the secret(s) to it. Each of us always wishes the other was Fabulous Host/Hostess Extraordinaire. We bop along when it comes to entertaining, and really enjoy the experience of family and friends. It's such a odd feeling to say we feel so insecure at hosting, because aren't we old enough to be good at it yet? Other people make it look so easy. Despite our insecurities, we are always happy when people come over.
Speaking of happy, I was so happy to meet Kaitlyn, her husband and sweet young son. Her son was so brave. He was all-in! Donkeys, no problem. No fear. He was engaged, and embraced each moment. My favorite think about him? His patience, that's what I really noticed. What a attribute to have in life. Patience - its's key to everything we do. And he has that, at such a young age. He was taking it all in, in stride.
I love watching all the children, and the choices they make. It's almost as if I can see the neurons firing in their brain, as the young ones process what's happening around them. There's so much to learn. Where do the chickens live? What do they eat? You mean it's okay to hold one? The donkeys are so big. Why does the barn smell like this? And it just doesn't stop. I derive such affectionate amusement from it all. Their words, their faces, and their smiles. Precious. Thanks, Kaitlyn for bringing your family by the farm.
Whisper, Whisper, Whisper. I must tell you that we got the most fabulous news this past week. The surgeon took X-rays, and found that Whisper's leg looked very good. Her plate and screws are still in proper alignment on her leg, and she's on track in regards to her recovery. She got her stitches out, and her incision looks great and has healed without a glitch. Considering her escape on Day 1, this is unbelievable. What I have found in life is this: Good news! Yay, and oh-so-wonderful! We moved past fill-in-the-blank, now onto the next good and positive step. Right? Good news means more good news, or at least that's how I was feeling and exactly how I felt. How could anything go wrong now?  Whisper's going to be just fine! 'The worst thing that could happen' is behind us now. Insert record scratch. 2 days after receiving this good news, things took a turn.
It all started (this past) Friday night. Whisper was in her secured fenced area, all was well. As a review, she's not allowed to be off leash (or free to roam) for 4 months during this recovery. Keeping her contained has been one of the most difficult things we've encountered on the farm. Her instinct to guard, and be in the pasture is greater than any pain she feels. So what happened was, David and I get everyone in the barn settled, as we do each night. Then, we do something unusual, we head back out for my work Holiday Party. Yep, we are going out on a Friday night. Who are we? I digress. What did not pass the forefront of my mind was that a storm was coming. Whisper hates storms. She's "that dog" that freaks out with thunder and lightening. Not rain, but the loud bangs and lightening. That's all good and fine, if she can go to her usual hiding spot, but in her pen, she's stuck. I'll make this quick and painless: Storm comes, Whisper is mortified, flustered, and so agitated and stressed by it that she pushed with her body (and I mean pushes) her pen a couple of feet over, that allows her access to sneak under an area about the size of 1 foot by 1 foot. And that she did.
I still don't know how she moved that pen. Desperation? Probably. Fight of flight response? Yeah, that too. Whisper not only moved a heavy a$$ welded pen, but she moved a portion of the pen over an area that had a drop down, so she could crawl underneath and escape. While this was going on, I was completely oblivious, and had not even considered this could even happen in my wildest dreams.
When the party's over, we drive home, and while coming down the gravel drive we notice there are two guard dogs in the pasture. Not just Levi. Who is that other dog, I thought?! I thought I was dreaming, or maybe a neighbor dog decided to drop by? And then, it hit me: How did Whisper get out!? Did I leave the gate unlocked? No, Whisper used her super powers to move something I can hardly move. And she's a dog. With a hurt leg.
I quickly run out to the pasture and get her back in the barn on a leash. But it's too late. I can already see her leg seems different. I knew then, that this event tonight might have been that final hurrah for her leg. If I ever thought it was Escape # 1 to mess her leg up, how wrong I was. It was actually Escape #2 that might have done the most damage. There was not supposed to be a Escape #2. It never crossed my mind whatsoever. Remember, I had the Good News, that everything was fine. The vet said so. I had her in luxury accommodations, with everything she needed. Not everything, obviously.
Back to square one. I'm mad at myself for underestimating her desire, her passion and her need to escape. This is not a regular dog. There's no compliance, no cooperation. It's like she fakes it, till she makes it out. As if Whisper says, "I'll be right here". Not.
I can't be sure all is not well with her leg. It's a feeling I have. I watch her try to walk on it, and it's different now. Time will be the teller of it all. Only time will tell me the answer this time. If I asked to take her back up to the Vet for X-rays again, they will send doggie CPS out for me. Lady, why can't you keep your dog contained during a 4 month recovery period? But sir, you don't understand. I don't even understand how she's doing these things. I'm telling you - super powers. If Whisper was a super hero, she'd be Captain Houdini.
Back to my point from above. The good news I received was short lived, but I was convinced that once I got that good news, it would be smooth sailing, as I had everything under control and would make it a few more months now, protecting her from herself. No, that was all a delusion. Reality gave me a wake up call. Wish I hadn't answered that call.
I guess if your a dog, it's not considered self-sabotage. In a human, yes. Dog, no. Whisper knows not that she needs to be kenneled for her protection and recovery. She is back in her appointed safe place, forcibly and reluctantly. Just waiting for that right moment again to escape. Until the next storm, upon which I may have to put her beside my bed. I have a feeling she'll be under the bed. And that's okay. At least in the house she only drools and pants with anxiety.
And things were looking so good. This time, I'll have to "wait it out" to figure out what's next. Poo. Just when the good news came. It's crushing to see her so willing to hurt herself further, that it's hard to wrap my mind around this dilemma. And if she gets even a remote chance, I know she'll take it.
I'm going to keep at this,
Cyndi