Going backward is a good thing

I was given a book to read by Dr Pahlavan, of whom I work with in the OR. It was a book he thought might be of interest to me, and turns out, it is fast becoming one of my favorite books. On The Edge, by Alison Levine is coined as a leadership manual that provides insights from her various extreme environment experiences of Mt Everest and the South Pole. One of the reasons I love it so, is it's written with much candor. Her style of writing, and her ability to relate those experiences with leadership, and life in general, are relatable. Okay, you'd think I was selling this book! But no, just gushing about it.
I'm still reading it, but came upon the chapter titled Go Back Jack, Do It Again. This chapter screamed my name.....Cyndi! All those times you started over, re-did things, went back instead of forward or other various forms of backtracking in your life? It's okay. At the time, I didn't recognize that it was making me stronger, or better, or actually moving me forward. It sure didn't seem like it. Society and our own selves, are hard on us when progress does not appear to be forward-moving.
I have little - to no knowledge - of what it takes to climb mountains. This book details the procedures and requirements that are essential (and necessary) to reach the summit of Mt Everest. Specifically, I'll zone-in on the topic regarding the physical acclimation aspect on the body. After reaching Base Camp, climbers may move on to Camp I. They may stay there a day (or two), and possibly move on up to Camp II. Then, climb back down to Camp I, and sometimes even back to Base Camp to let the body recover, hydrate/eat and rest. This continual movement of upwards, back down, upward again, and back down again seems tedious. But completely necessary, as the body is adjusting to the air pressure differences, with the intention of becoming stronger - and better equipped - for each upward movement. Her point being: Going backward is necessary to go forward. On Mt Everest - and in life. Each time we start over, or backtrack, we are preparing ourselves for our next forward movement. It's making us stronger and better equipped for what's to come.
In my own life, I have been hard on myself for not always moving forward. This single chapter in this book has given me a new realization of something I may already have known. Yet, it has provided me  a healthy dose of self-compassion. When I have retreated in life to a "lower elevation", I was in fact,  setting myself up for my next move forward. Why does it have to take me so long to realize this? For whatever reason, I have tended to think that progress has to move in one particular direction, but that's simply not the case. This book has been my gentle reminder to understand when I think I'm losing ground, it could very well be that I'm strengthening my foundation. And an even greater reminder that I need to reward and encourage progress in all forms, not just the obvious ones.
I was discussing this with my daughter, and I liked how she phrased it as well, "moving in a new direction". There are times where I think I have learned more from her in my life, than I have taught her. What a wonderful gift of give-and-take we have with each other.
Speaking of the topic of progress.....there's one thing ultra-runners are proud of that I found interesting and intriguing when I first begin participating in long distance running. Whenever I was running in a ultra race (typically classified as any distance race longer than a marathon) and began conversing with fellow ultra runners, they always knew how many Ultra's they've completed, AND equally knew how many DNF's they have had. DNF = Did Not Finish. This means, for whatever reason, they did not finish a particular race. A DNF is then placed by the competitors name in the "results" portion of the Race Results for that particular race. Oh! That's new! In my previous marathon world, that would have "frowned" upon. But in the ultra world, it is a badge of honor. A DNF is not bad thing, matter-of-fact, it's there to teach you, and assist you with what to do different next time in order to be successful. A learning experience to put in your back pocket. Endurance sports of any type require regrouping, reenergizing, and repositioning yourself so you can then be stronger (and smarter) about ascending to the next level - and finishing that next race. Backtracking provides valuable experience to contribute to your next forward movement. This phenomenon in the Ultra World is one of my favorite things. I think that's why the chapter in the book (On The Edge) of "Go Back Jack, Do It Again" speaks to me. I am proud of my DNF's. There's always many lessons learned in them. They are the reason for many of my successes. And I'm most grateful for each and every one of them. I know them like the back of my hand. And it feels good to be proud of them.
Here's to ebbing and flowing,
Cyndi