Come as you are

We have had the most wonderful visitors come as they are to the farm recently. This is probably one of my most favorite things, is when we are able to share the love of the farm animals with others. 

Brooks

First up, we were fortunate enough to care for Brooks for a whole weekend while his Mama and Papa went on a mini weekend vacay. I'll start by saying that if we could have just stayed outside the entire time, he would have. One of my favorite things is also one of Brooks favorite things: outside. Brooks will come grab my hand and lead me to the nearest door all while saying "outside". He knows what he wants and I'm here for it.

Pure joy

He played in the sprinkler which was extra exciting as it was his first time to do this type of old fashioned water play. It seemed to rank right up there with his bomb pop eating experience he had recently. I suppose it's like getting in a time machine and heading back to the 1970's when we all played in the sprinklers in our yard and got bomb pops from the ice cream truck that would come singing down the street. Nana Poppins is going to teach him games like Red light/Green light, Tag and Mother May I, too. Well, as he gets a little older. We can get in that time machine any time we want, right, Brooks?

A boy and his dog (at least for the weekend)

Brooks loved all the animals. Well, not all the animals. There's something about the sheep the scare the tarnation out of him. It's their loud Baaaa's I think. He loves the chickens esp, all the dogs, esp Buddy. He loved the horses and pig. Yet, by the end of the weekend, his two newest favorite words were Buddy and Maybe. Both of which would allow pets (under supervision of course, as Brooks is 1 1/2 years old and does not yet have the understanding that what he does may not be well received by a dog). 

Must touch fish

Best fishing day ever

And then there was the fishing. Brooks' mama was not keen on this idea nor the thought of hooks flying through the air around her baby. Not to worry. This was a well controlled situation, and Brooks was all in. Luckily, since the pond was stocked last year, the fish are biting. And I mean biting as in even if your hook smells like bait, they bite. As soon as the hook and bait go in, a fish hits it, and boom, you got a fish and another and another. 

He really wanted to touch the fish and had not one ounce of scared-ness in him. He's definitely going to be a fisher-guy. We are starting young around here. 

Another highlight of this weekend was all the sounds Brooks would mimic. Every bird noise, chicken noise, turkey noise, horse and pig noise - Brooks did it. He would cock-a-doodle doo, oink oink and neigh neigh relentlessly. My only question is why does this child not live on a farm. 

Sadly, Sunday came and Brooks had to go back home. No need to worry though, Mothers Day was coming up and we got another opportunity to spend a day with him again. We thank both Lauren and Ryan for so readily sharing their most precious and greatest gift they have. We cherish every minute. And news flash, Brooks has changed our names from Nana and Pops to Nay Nay and Pop. I should have had grandchildren first. 

Brooke

C3-er's get ready. We had the most delightful visit from our ever-famous C3-er, Brooke. I know, I was just as surprised as you are. We have been waiting for this moment and Brooke did not disappoint. Brooke never disappoints, as you know. We had the best time! We went out for a yummy Mexican food lunch at our favorite hole-in-the-wall place. Then we went and laid hands on and gave pets to all the animals. Brooke of course knew every animal's name and history.

I think she's a secret chicken lady

 It's like she's been there all along. And she has, virtually, and now here she was in person: Brooke 2.0

She got all 5 sheep in this shot, nice job

Besides the lunch and visit to the farm, I must tell you one of my favorite parts. You see, we had a family friend who happens to be a mother (Jessica) of 4 children who was coming over so that her children could fish in our pond that afternoon. As you can see it in your own head......4 children, 4 cane poles with hooks, and catching fish back-to-back is a recipe for organized chaos. No need to fear, Brooke is here. 

Tessa caught the biggest, a catfish

Safety is not an accident

Jacob caught so many of these blue gills

Thank you, Brooke for helping us set up and manage a tricky operation of fishing with 4 children all under the age of 9. Let's just say that when the day was done, and the fishing was complete, and everyone was home, we were MORE than grateful for the magnificent day of wonderful visitors and that no one got hooked with a hook - except many, many fish. 

Come back again soon, and we'll fish some more, take more selfies with farm animals and eat more yummy food. 

Best Friend Buddy

I'm happy to report that 5 month old Buddy (aka David's Dog) is now taking on the livestock guard pups, as I guess the sheep and pig seemed to not be as interactive as he'd like. ** Excuse the janky video

Buddy's favorite playmates are officially Dutch and Penny. Mainly Penny. They used to harass Buddy, but things around here are a-changing. Buddy is pretty much terror on 4 paws.

Even Smoky, the barn cat who can be a meanie to the other cats at times, is now having Buddy force-play with him. Smoky probably thinks the world has turned upside down, because nobody messes with him. Surprise. You have a new friend.

Happy Mother's Day

Here's wishing you all a belated mother's day, and I hope it was wonderful!

Still surreal, my baby with her baby 💕

Cancer Update

As David's PET scans are looking good, I'm happy that he's retiring and going to live life a little more. We are able to do many things in life, and are most grateful for that. After spending quality time at MD Anderson, we never go a day without appreciating just how precious time is, and that every day we wake up and brush our teeth is a gift. I go to Texas Oncology every month (sometimes every 2 months) and have my labs drawn. When I went this past Wednesday, my hematocrit was creeping up again because my blood cancer is one of which causes my bone marrow to make blood, more blood, and even more blood. It just never stops. This increases a chance of a vascular event such as a stroke, heart attack or blood clot hence why I take 2 different blood thinners each day. And the treatment to lower the amount of blood in my body, for the meantime, is phlebotomies. It's a lifestyle for me. They take about 500 ml's of blood each visit that it's indicated. Yeah, having fairly large amounts of blood taken from me on a regular basis has a number of side effects. Everything from increase in platelets, decrease in iron, other lab values out of range, and a myriad of other things (think fatigue, and swollen spleen due to blood volume) that happens when your body has not-normal things happening to it. It's just part of my life. If I didn't do it, the life span with this cancer is 1-3 years. To prolong life, it's either regular phlebotomies or the consideration of a chemo agent. That is likely the next step in treatment as there is no cure for polycythemia vera at this time. It's a progressive disease, so it's hard to know what the future holds. And since it's considered a rare cancer, there is not funds going to research for it like there is breast or colon cancer. But then again, millions of people have those cancers, so I get it. I know how lucky I am that I have amazing health care available to me, and am able to seek treatment(s) for my PV. David and I both understand the gravity of it all. Some days it's heavy, other days it's light. It's part of our lives - not all of our life. And for that, we keep going and doing things and thankful that we are able to. With so many wonderful things in our lives, we find that we don't focus on this too much. It's kind of like a gift we got that has taught us so much. And there's no returns or regifting. 

AFGO

As things change around here yet stay exactly the same, I'd like to tell you that when I recently told David that I was going to take a blog-break for the summer, he was a bit surprised. Rightfully so, as I had been thinking about doing more reading, running and biking as this hot weather is my kind of weather, and David had no idea I had been bouncing that thought around in my mind. I told him I wanted to take some time to listen to more books and grow my knowledge in the field of writing and blogging. 

What I didn't realize was what David would do. He announced to me that he would like to be the guest blogger for my blog-break. I looked over at him (we were driving in the car at the time we were having this discussion) and I realized this was a afgo moment. You know, another f*cking growth opportunity. Look at him grow. He even informed me that he had ideas of what he'd like to cover in his first blog post. 

So, my dearest of friends and family, I'm happy to tell you that you are about to start hearing a whole nother side of our life from a different viewpoint and perspective. Retirement Day, June 30th is coming up quickly, and David will likely deliver his opinions and feelings on retirement, plus who knows what else. 

Oh goodie! I can't wait for this. I hope he blogs soon......

Much love,

Cyndi

Happiness comes from chickens

You know the old saying, 'If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy taken. Happiness comes from chickens, not relationships.' Yes, this could have very well have been made up by a chicken lady somewhere, but I'm pretty sure it's valid, says all chicken ladies of the world. 

So many new things on the farm recently have made me happy - and is also hopefully helping make a farm animal happy as well. Spring always brings the desire to spring clean and that's what has happened over the last couple of weeks. As we move from winter to spring on the farm, it's time to put up the heated water buckets, change all the straw out of the barns/shelters and re-think how things are working and what's best for the animals. Changes, cleaning, sorting, moving things (esp fencing, Lauren) and an all-around desire to get all the animals set up for springtime and create a front door view upgrade is in full swing. 

Dirt Work

What I've learned is when I try to improve something on the property, that often times, damage happens to another part of the property in that process. This theory rarely fails. Improvement in one area causes damage to another area in that process.

For example, when we were having the back pasture barn floor concreted (is that a word?) the huge dump truck and cement truck caused much damage to the ground in this process. That in turn causes erosion of the dirt and ground, and then that area needs fixing. Hence, we attempted to try and fix that.

Hard to tell by a photo how much work it takes to spread dirt

And in this process, the dump truck that came to deliver this particular dirt, actually backed into and hit the electricity pole which then caused problems with our electricity flow to the house. The dump truck hit the pole so hard it knocked it loose from the ground and all the wires were swinging and swaying high in the air much like a tsunami does in the ocean. It was a wild trickle effect.

You probably remember David and I attempting to fix this area already by bringing in dirt and rock and renting the skid steer. Well, that was great, but then an unusually big rain came (almost 7 inches) and washed away much of our hard work. That particular storm's timing was bad (or should I say our timing was bad). That particular amount of rain also did something we've never seen before and greatly damaged our gravel driveway as well. 

Stay focused, Cyndi. So, we found a guy here in Gunter (Jimmy) who delivered more dirt and had it spread in such a way that it would irrigate and drain more efficiently. Wonderful, yes please. And he did just that, and in the process, the huge dump truck put a big wammy on the electricity pole and I watched this $hit$how as I thought he had knocked the electricity pole out of the ground and I expected it to fall over on the barn. I watched in horror.

This gash in the pole is a hard thing to explain to Oncor.

The first order of business was for Jimmy to complete this work, as more rain was coming. And sure enough, we had an unusual amount of rain again (close to 5 inches at once) and boom, different irrigation and draining situations going on, yet nothing as bad as it was before. 

All this moaning and groaning is to say that we have these good intentions to fix things, and then inadvertently unfix something else. Let's just say that the dirt work was greatly appreciated, but that we have a little more work to do.....again. Thank you, rain, we love you and need you, yet so much at a time is hard to handle sometimes. 

And I did call Oncor about the incessant light flickering in the house due to the pole hit. 

The cherry picker thingie took him up high to
the top and fix something up there that got
all shook up by the pole hit.

Oncor kindly came out and fixed the issue with their BIG A$$ truck making huge indentions in the ground so I'll be needing to get that fixed soon. It never stops. The fixing never stops. Except the light flickering stopped. That did stop, thank goodness.

New door, new view

It's funny how life is. When I had a front door that I could not see out of, the view of all the things in front of the front door mattered not. All the portable fencing and crap out front of the house never bothered me. I actually placed it there myself, and it conveniently housed many of my animals. And since I could not see out the front door, it never bothered me one bit.

Lots of natural light is wonderful 🌞

The new door actually 1) shuts properly and
2) is insulated. 

And while we feel a little more human by having a normal front door, I can now take a good look out front at a view that I've obstructed with all my own things. Funny, it's never bothered me before, but then again, I couldn't really see it from the view inside the house. Now I really can. Therefore, I feel the need to move all the unsightly things to a different place. No big deal, right? It's just portable fencing and animals. We can do this.

Leave it to me to create an eyesore of 
portable fencing in plain view.

So here we go. Get your gloves, boots, and muscles ready because it's moving time.

First up, the turkey and rooster pen. After all, Paul and John do need some overhead protection from the sun and rain, so we decided to house them under the awning on the west side of the barn. 

Paul and John have become good friends.

They love it there, and we were actually able to increase their square footage. John, the rooster was pleased as Paul is kind of a big guy and loves to showboat around all day for the girlz. Yes, we did move their mirrors over to their new enclosure as well. 

Plenty of mirrors to go around. 

John and Paul each have their own mirror for which to admire their handsome selves in. That has not changed, and they each enjoy strutting and staring at themselves daily. Whatever makes you happy, guys. 

The ultimate goal was to move all the 6 ft fencing out of the front door view. So that means the Little Girl Area (my silkies and frizzles) would need to have their area revamped with only the 4 ft portable fencing because it's harder to see from the house. So yes, we re-made their area with the shorter 4 ft fencing that is not such an eyesore when glancing out the front door. 

I just love this little coop for my little girls. And the shorter fence too.

But as things started to change and evolve, an issue became apparent as the piggies area was part tall fencing and part shorter fencing. Therefore, the piggies area would be best moved to a different location using the taller portable fencing. And so that's what we did. The piggies are not inside their pen much during the day because we allow them to free range, and then go back into their pen for beddie-bye. And then back out in the morning. Plus, something new, is that Prissy is over at Amy and Cody's for a stay there, likely long term. Prissy lost her free ranging privileges because she's too busy chasing the sheep and biting their back legs. She already had been given 1 warning (she had a red card sent home in her school folder) because awhile back she was doing that to the guard pups. Prissy is a biter at heart. Maggie is the opposite. Maggie is a sweet and laid back pig while Prissy would try to bite at your boots when you weren't looking. It's not safe, quite frankly, as her teeth are razor sharp. Thankfully, Amy and Cody have pigs as well, and had just the place for her. 

Prissy is the black piggie underneath 
her new friend.

Yes, this blog is R-rated sometimes, and Prissy is being breed. Which means Maggie is on her own here on the farm. Luckily, Maggie enjoys hanging out with the sheep, and spends much of her daytime hours annoying them, 'can I be your friend, huh? huh? can I?'

But who else annoys Maggie, you ask?

Maggie is very patient with Buddy. Very. Buddy is full-on holy terror on 4 paws around here. He thinks the chickens, sheep and pig are there for his own personal entertainment. 

The fun never stops, until you get head butted by a sheep. Most of the farm animals put Buddy in his place, and everyone is finding their way with this rambunctious puppy. 

So, back to the pigs area, Cyndi. After moving Paul and John's pen, then revamping the Little Girls Area, we moved Maggie's pen to a different location (neighboring Paul and John) and made sure she has her piggie house and piggie pool.

Evening view when she's inside.

Daytime view when everyone wants to 
see what a room with a pool is like.

Maggie has less square footage and that's okay considering the amount of time she spends in her pen. The chickens are clean up duty and make sure there's no bugs crawling around the area. 

We The Sheeple

Belle, Lulu, Willow, Grace and Brooklyn are all doing wonderfully. Currently, we do not plan on breeding them, and Belle may be a little old for that anyway. Their little 5-some herd is very comfortable. Grace is the herd leader, Brooklyn is next in line for the throne, Belle is aging, Lulu is still the shyest, and Willow is the tiny-est and sweetest of them all. 

What is new about the ewe is that our yearly sheep sheering won't happen this year. The folks that have come out each year to sheer them will not be doing that any longer. So I had a talk with the ewes and reminded them that they are actually self-shedding sheep (they really are) and that they'll be responsible for themselves this year. I think they understand their job, and will expect them to shed appropriately. In the past, we have made it easy on them, but this year they will need to step up their game. Let the shedding begin, please ma'ams. 

I love that the sheep have this improved
barn flooring. They may not even care.
I care though.

Coopin' It Real

I forgot to mention that the chicken's feeding station would need to be repositioned, as a side of it was adjoining to Paul and John's pen. The solution was to take a piece of the corral panels, and create the side that would be missing.

Luckily this setup allows the chickens easy
access to their chicken food and no one else.

The purpose of this area is to allow the chickens to get inside and eat, without any other animal (sheep, piggie or horse) getting to the chicken feed. So once we replaced the missing side, we were able to secure the chicken feed once again. Seems every animal we have loves them some chicken feed.

The ducks had started visiting the chicken feed 
area up by the barn (notice this is just before I
took down the tall fences)

Even the ducks have started coming up from the pond and dining on the chicken feed even though we feed them down at the pond. Dutch and Penny found them very tempting though, so it was a little precarious. Dutch and Penny, the now 8 month old guard pups, do best with everyone IN their place. And when the ducks are out of their usual place (i.e. the pond area), Penny and Dutch feel the need to get them back to their place.

Pond King

Have you heard of Pond King? It's in Gainesville and they have everything you need for a pond, or lake or any body of water. We found this business when we were trying to stock our pond with fish. They are also the place where we bought our turtle trap (which we love). Thanks to Pond King, we have an abundance of fish in the pond now. This was our first winter with a stocked pond, and spring is showing us that the fish survived. We are feeding the fish as we were instructed to do, and have found that the pond is so full of fish, that you can simply throw a fishing line in and in a matter of minutes (sometimes seconds) you have a fish on the line. 

And so it begins. We are catch and release, 
unless you want popcorn fish.

My favorite way to fish is on the bank, using a cane (bamboo) fishing pole that you buy at Walmart for $3.68 that already has the line, bobber and hook on it for you. There's no easier fishing than that. Then, you get crappie bait and stick it on the hook, sling your line in the water, and wal-lah, you get a fish. That's my kind of fishing. Don't forget the 5 gallon bucket to take with you to turn upside down and sit on. David has many fancy fishing poles and tackle boxes, as does my dad, but this is my preferred way to fish. It's what makes me happy. It's also kid-friendly, less cumbersome, and if you lose your line, it's no big deal. Just tie on some new line to the end of your pole and start again.

Yep, that took less than a minute to catch.

The best way to fish is with non-matching clothing, no makeup and your cane pole. Trust me on this one.

When new is hard

While we have many new changes happening around the farm, spring has also brought some new things to little Brooks. Since he turned 18 months old, he has now moved up to the next class at his school. He was the big fish in a little pond in his old classroom (and big man on campus), and now in his new class, he's the little fish in the big pond. And the youngest in the class. Kind of like being the 6th grader in middle school mixed in with all the 7th and 8th graders who seem decades older. Brooks is finding his way.

That smock 💙

There's now a little more structure, and seemingly new activities that come with age. So there's the good with the scary newness, and as we all know, it takes time to adjust.

That face 💟

Good news is, seems the older kiddos get bomb pops for a treat and the look on Brooks face says it all. He's never had one before, and I'm not sure whose deprived him of this in his life, but I'm thinking he needs one everyday. I mean, look at that face. 

The adventure continues

As Sugar has healed, and Buddy has arrived, portable fencing is seemingly always being moved, animals are settling in, dirt is washing away, the view from the front door is improving, and spring is upon us, we are swept up in the current of this life. Lots of fun and new things around here, and even Washington moved outside to enjoy the nice spring weather.

Washington loves all the happenings outside, 
and is entertained by all the activity around him.

Also, David set a date of June 30 (this year) to retire. I'm loving my job at Cook Children's. Brooks is adjusting to his new class and you are likely having 1,001 things happening in your world as well. We are all doing this together. And even though I never knew I'd have a dog hitting buttons with his paw to "talk" to me, it seems to be happening.

I also never thought I'd have a livestock guard dog laying in the fire pit with chickens dust bathing all around him while a pig watches. 

The chickens look all crazy when they are
dust bathing and get dirt in every pore of 
their being.

You'd think there'd be very little that surprises me around here. But no. I'm still amazed at what can happen in a single day. And as I walk each day to the barn with countless chickens following me like a pied piper, I look at them all and wonder if they know just how happy they make me. 

Happy SpringTime,

Cyndi

Dear Diary

When I was in 8th grade, one of my favorite things to do was write in my diary in the quiet of my room, writing down many made-up ideas of what I thought was happening in my world. I remember vividly how I'd written about Rex, a tweenager in the Youth Group at church. He and I would 'eye' each other. And while Rex was probably just glancing my way at the door behind me or something like that, I was thinking in my head that it must be that he likes me. I mean, he's looking at me. So in my diary, I would write about this like-affair I was having with Rex, although probably just a one-sided like-affair that I now realize. But I remember writing about Rex on a regular basis because I would see him several times a week in the youth group on the 4the floor of the church. 

Then, my sister got a hold of my diary and in a random act of sisterly meanness, she recited a line from my diary that I had written about Rex, while we were all in the family room which was the former 1 car garage area that had been enclosed to make us this 'big' family room. It felt like a big area at the time, whether it was or not. I remember standing on the stairs that went down into the garage/family room, onto the indoor/outdoor carpet into the room with everyone present including my mom, dad and other sister. I froze in my steps, realizing that she had gotten a hold of my diary and not only read it, but would recite my words back to me at the most inopportune times which happens to be all the time when you're in 8th grade. 

So the next time I was at a store, I would spend my saved money on a locked diary. You know that hardback diary with the teeny tiny key of which to lock/unlock it. Somehow it kept my sisters out of my diary from then on. But it was too late. The damage was done. I felt exposed. Granted, Rex never knew anything about this, and to this day, has no idea I had a crush on him. We were just 2 young tweens passing each other in the hallways at church with occasional random conversation, if even that.

Somehow, the memories of 7th and 8th grade creep up on me even now. At work, whenever I'm taking a 7th or 8th grader (somewhere in that age range) back to the operating room, I make conversation with them and it's usually about school. None of them seem to like school. They feel odd and awkward, and it's a tough age to be in an environment where there's hundreds of other odd and awkward people around you of the same age. Why is it that we can't do something about this? I feel their pain and tell them how awesome they are. I can try to encourage them, and let them know they are special - and that this can all feel hard but it won't last forever. Or will it. We often look each other in the eye just connecting on the hardness of middle school. I still feel it. When I see their middle school pain, I still feel my own along with them. I often want to ask them if they, too, write in a diary, but silly me, it's called a journal now. They journal. And here I am, still writing in my diary. For me though, it's now called a blog. Some things never change.

A New Little Spoon In Town    

Sugar has been my little spoon since Dec of 2018. I brought home this most scared and broken little girl who was an adult of just over a year old. M-156 was ever her only name, and apparently she'd lived her life in a crate for breeding and once they got tired of trying to breed her unsuccessfully, they sold her. To me of all people, unknowing of her sad life. 

David named her Sugar and I thought it was perfect. Sugar was scared of everything, and esp people. The rest is history, and her bonding to me was relentless and undying. She rarely allows anyone to touch her except for David, as she runs away from most everyone. The cutest dog on the property and she's untouchable. But she and I spoon as we lay sleeping, and it's her safe place. I've never been so bonded with an animal in my life. 

I love her little crooked smile 💖

So the hawk attack on sweet Sugar was bittersweet. Mostly all bitter, because she was in such pain and she was so sad and therefore I was sad. It was hard to watch her go through the recovery. Sweet, only because she got away from a predator who wanted her. She's a strong girl with a will to live and she has proven herself a champ in this recovery. I'm happy to report that Sugar is close to being completely healed, and her spirits are high once again. It's dangerous out here, and that was a reminder of how predators are constantly wanting what we have for lunch or dinner. We are so fortunate to have 4 livestock guard dogs to protect all the animals on the farm, as I am sure that if we did not have them, I'd have no livestock left.

The privilege of caring and having these amazing beings is 
beyond words. 

Penny and Dutch are rocking the guarding of the livestock, and we even let the chicks out of their nursery coop to now free range and after a few friendly reminders that they are not a treat, the guard dog pups (now 7 months old) left them alone. It's a miracle, I'm telling you. 

Wow, I fell down a rabbit hole on that one, but I'm back. Where was I, oh yeah, the new little spoon in town was where I was going with all this originally. I have absolutely no way to tell you how it all happened. It just happened. Okay, you know how I look at the Farm and Garden section of Craigslist every morning while drinking my coffee. I'm just looking.....most of the time. I like to see what people are selling and what their pictures look like (I gather tips from other people's farm pics while they are actually just showing what they are selling). I'm that person looking in the background of the photo. What does their animal shelter(s) look like? What's their fencing like? I'm such a farm nerd. 

And one day, I saw someone in Oklahoma post for a couple of French Bulldogs for sale. There were 2 male puppies left. Let me back up a minute to tell if you that for the past 6-8 months, after David saw a Frenchie at the vet, he's talked about it randomly, and I bet if he had a diary, he would have wrote about it.

And I thought about it and decided how much David would love a pup of his VERY own. David had no idea I decided this for him, but once I mentioned it, he was all in. And to Oklahoma we went. 

Those eyes, he was scared and away from his mama.

David fell in love with the smaller of the two males left, and we left with a brand spanking-new 12 week old puppy in his lap. David's smile was wide and his heart seems to have exploded. We decided that he would primarily bond with fill-in-the-blank name. What would be his name be? David decided that since he calls everyone buddy, that he would name him Buddy and that way it would just roll off his tongue. Buddy. There's no chance of calling him the wrong name, Buddy always flies out of David's mouth. It was the perfect name. 

Not to worry, he's made himself at home.

David's face says it all.

I'm here to tell you a few things about Buddy. He's very bright.

Buddy rings the bell to come in and out of the house. He now also knows how to sit and also, shake. He looks up at us and is asking for more information, please. I just ordered from the website fluentpet.com the buttons that dogs press with their paws that say words. Like for example: outside or potty or dad or today or now or whatever words you want your dog to learn. David is going to try and teach Buddy to talk, using the buttons. We all see those IG reels on Insta with dogs (and cats!) communicating to their humans through the buttons, and thought Buddy would be a good candidate for this. We'll start with 6 buttons. Potty will likely be the top priority on a button. He rings the bell to go outside, but really, he just loves being outside. I get that, Buddy. No better place than outside. 

If Maybe and Sugar do it, so does Buddy.
They are unsure of this new delivery.

As I was mulling this puppy thing over, I realized the last time we had an actual indoor puppy was when Maybe was a puppy. That was 11 years ago. Let's just say that we are adapting to what it's like to have a puppy in the house who loves to chew things, potty where ever, and needs lots of attention. Luckily, Buddy knows how to go in and out of the back doggie door, and also knows how to ring the bell to ask to go out the laundry room door to another doggie door we have there. He's still putting it all together with the potty outside concept. He loves to go outside, and will hopefully understand that he should only be potty-ing outside. It's a process. We are not there yet. Maybe and Sugar are here to help with that concept, so that's nice. Sugar likes Buddy best, as Maybe is an old lady who really only likes you if you have treats. And Buddy is all about the treats, so the competition is great for who gets what around here. Sugar does not do treats, as her teeth only allow for soft foods. So she could care less about treats. 

So far so okay. Buddy's main danger on the farm right now is a big swat of the front paw from Dutch or Penny who merely just want to play with a fellow puppy. Their paw swat is hard and heavy, and even though Buddy is sturdy and strong at 8 lbs, he's no match for a 86 lb puppy whose super excited to play. Yes, I said 86 lbs at 7 months old. We took Dutch and Penny to the vet recently for heartworm test and meds, and they were 86 lbs (Dutch) and 77 lbs (Penny). They are going to be ginormous dogs, as both their parents were around 120 lbs. 

Most amazing 7 month olds #huge

Penny is already taller than Whisper. We adore them all, and want to keep everyone as healthy as possible. We have to be diligent with the heartworm meds for all the dogs because Winston is heartworm positive. It only takes one mosquito bite from an infected dog to carry that to another dog in the form of a mosquito bite. Seems the vet thinks he's been positive for some time due to the nature of his symptoms, and maybe even why a family might have let him go into the world on his own. The vet does not recommend treating him, as his timeline is shorter than they feel is worth heartworm treatment. I've not come to terms with that just yet, but I do understand Winston is old and why a vet might think it's not recommended to treat him. He was given antibiotics to destroy the baby heartworms to keep it all at bay. He'll be on that for awhile. Sweet Winston. He has such a good heart (the vet even said it's nice and strong sounding) yet has such a hard time getting up and down off the ground. Once he gets up and moving, he does pretty good. There is no run left in his life, just a walk and I'm happy he's still walking. Senior dogs are great. They appreciate the basics in life. Just like Maybe and Winston do. Yes, they can both be semi-grumpy but senior dogs are granted that privilege around here. Food, sleep, food, a nap, treats and more rest. The smiles I get from them is simply amazing and they can never get enough pets and cuddles. They are simply happy to be alive. 

And while Buddy is on the other end of the life cycle, he's in his most formative months. We, being older pawrents, are able to focus a little more on what we might be able to teach him. And David may be having more time in the future to do just that.

Buddy with the bling

A different kind of excellence

I'm not here to give any certain spoiler alerts, but I can tell you one thing for sure: cancer has brought us closer to the retirement process sooner rather than later. We hear over and over how you should wait until the maximum age to retire so that you can get all the money from social security. And often told what a travesty it would be to retire early and miss getting all that money. I also realize that many of these people say this because they think they will live forever. I used to be one of those people. Ahhh, I remember those days. Most people have no idea that we may indeed have something that makes it clear to us that we won't live forever, and that likely our expiration date is sooner than we would have originally thought. But you know our story well. We are a couple with cancer who has their eyes wide open to understanding that we will likely need to be a caregiver to one another, just not sure at this point what those details look like. And many couples are caregivers to one another at different parts of their life for various reasons. It's just that our wedding vows include full-time caregiving til death due us part. We've made a pack. We will care for the other one. No one knows us better than we do, and we can only hope that we are given the opportunity for one of us to care for the other. 

This is nothing new in the world, that couples care for each other. It's just we happen to know we are going to need that from one another, so we are able to openly talk about it. Death is something we discuss in the most healthy way we are able. We take time to ponder death. And with that said, we talk about retiring before we step off the curb. Why wait when someone has told you the possibilities of what's to come? David's PET scans are showing good results at this time, and we are most grateful. But yet that does not give the future a shoe-in. And David wants some time to be a different kind of excellence. 

He wants to excel in fishing, doing nothing if he wants, golfing and not caring about his score, and doing whatever he wants to do day in and day out. It's a new kind of philosophy that takes him from innovator at work to instructor at home. Like teaching Brooks how to fish, or teaching the awesome kiddos that come over to the farm how to pick up a chicken (it's not as easy as it seems to pick up a little dinosaur). He wants to spend the back half of his life sharing in a different way. He's likely to become the most relevant he's ever been while sharing his wisdom and knowledge on everything from wood working to stain glass. If something needs to be done around the farm, he's got something in the garage to help make it happen. But before he finds what he needs in the garage, he's already imagined it in his head. His innovation will now be solely placed in areas of his life that he desires it to be placed. 

And while there's no doubt that aging brings about challenges and some things become harder, we will acknowledge this and showcase it. Some things take more time, others take more thought and creativity. He's embracing what comes with time and is not an anti-ager. We are instead, agers. Bring on the age. The skin that shows the age. The mind that shows the age. It's like wrapping your arms around a long lost relative and noticing the changes in them and how good that change looks on them. We notice the changes in the mirror and in all we do and understand that we will make modifications as needed.

David's retirement plan has one main goal: Happiness. He's still finalizing the details of the timing of retirement and knows that time is not promised in life. It's hard to give up the money you make, the self-worth that work brings, and the people you've know for years and years. It actually takes time to process this idea of going from working to not working. It's harder than we thought. But once you round that curve, you are never able to look back. I guess that's where the swerve comes in. We often try not to take the curve, and swerve instead. David is taking this new curve with the gas pedal down, rounding all the tiny corners of that curve, and feeling all the feels from it. 

Hip Hip Hooray!

David and I traveled recently to the San Benito area (down in the valley close to South Padre Island) to visit my mom and dad. When mom and dad were younger and I was a child, we did not speak of age. Now, they are open to age discussions and they can because they are rocking the 80's, and I don't mean like the Flock of Seagulls '80's. It was an absolute lovely visit and we just talked and talked and felt no need to do anything but talk and connect. It was my favorite kind of visit where the expectations to go do things are low, and we get to sit around and talk. Oh, and eat at mom and dad's favorite places. It was a very magical visit and I can't wait to do it again. 

They are showing us how it's done.

Prior to planning this particular trip, I had thought "if I was in my 80's, what would I want for a visit from relatives?" and my answer was: an easy visit with minimal work and planning. After I told David (and Lauren) I prefer a day trip to fly down in the morning and fly back that night, you'd thought I had told them I would be flying the plane myself. It just didn't sound like what a trip should sound like, esp visiting parents. 

I held strong and booked the flights and off we went. Lauren, Ryan and little Brooks came over to man the farm for the day and wrestle the new puppy, Buddy. Thank you guys so much!! All while David and I flew to Harlingen and were picked up by mom and dad who drove us to an awesome Mexican food restaurant. Yum! Then, back to their house to talk and odd how the time literally flew by, as there's so much to talk about and I just loved being with them and catching up. All while siping on iced tea and lounging on a comfy couch. Before I knew it, it was time for dinner and back to the airport. Mom and dad picked bbq for dinner and it too was yummy. I hated saying good bye, but will be back sooner next time. After all, Dad is having his hip replaced on June 30th and I look forward to checking on him after he settles in with it. Mom is a wonderful chauffeur, and our visit was full of wonderful memories that are still fresh in my mind. Just a lovely lovely relaxing time. Thanks, mom and dad for having us! And thanks to Lauren, Ryan and Brooks for helping keep things under control at the farm. Best day trip ever.

Dear Diary, 

As my parent brain transforms into a grandparent brain, I've noticed a few things:

He's not sure why they keep saying cheeeeese

It still amazes me that my own child has a child. For some reason my brain is on 'skip' and processing this fact may take a lifetime.

Ahhhh, these days are the best

My new grandparent brain does not miss the day-in and day-out of having children around full-time, but instead loves every minute with grandchildren and then returning them (safe and unharmed) to their parents.  

You're hired. When can you start?

My new grandparent brain sees everything grandchildren do as absolutely adorable. 

I just can't even. That face.

What I've learned with this new grandparent part of my brain is that this kind of love is exactly what grandchildren need and at the same time, exactly what grandparents need. A type of love unlike any other. The best kind of love. Grand love.

Til next time,

Cyndi

Monday, Monday

Sometimes on update on expectations is a good thing. I expected to write this week, but instead have worked a little more than expected. 

So it seems work is getting in the way of time this week (boo! it's my "late week" at work in the OR this week). You know how much I enjoy taking time to put my thoughts into words, so it will be Saturday before I can make this happen. I'll see you then!!!

C

Hawk Talk

So this is me, according to my family. Constantly pouring words from my fingers. I feel like this whole post today could be updates of many things circling the universe around here. So let's do that.

One does not simply stop buying chicks. Seemingly a repetitive theme in my life.

The 10 chicks we purchased a few weeks ago have now moved out of the house and into the barn. They are currently confined to a chicken coop there, with a heat lamp area available, should they chose to use it. They are all mostly feathered now, and are eating and drinking like a boss. 

The chicks watch the Chicken Show on the daily

The Guest House, until they grow big enough to look like real chickens

It appears by the chicks frantic (and also sweet) peep-peep noises that the guard pups - and Sugar - all think the chicks are calling them for dinner. Therefore, these chicks will need to be mostly grown before they are allowed to free range.

Penny and Dutch. Is this not reminiscent of 
Levi and Whisper?!

Another wonderful update is that the guard pups, Penny and Dutch are 1) starting the process of patrolling the parameter of the property and barking appropriately at possible predators. Esp in the back pasture where the sheep are kept and a creek runs behind that area, which many predators use as a means of water source, and 2) They are not eating or pursuing chickens in or out of the barn (except for a fascination of the chicks) which basically means they will be able to remain as backups and eventually our replacements for when Levi and Whisper retire and decide they don't want to work so hard every night. We'd love for Levi and Whisper to be able to relax and grow old not working too hard. I've always felt like 5 acres was a lot for them to constantly protect. They do it so well, and we cannot imagine life without them. We just want them to have time in life to not work so hard. Maybe I'm projecting my own desires upon them as they age, and that as livestock guard dogs, they will always work hard. So maybe what I'm hoping for is that Penny and Dutch can manage some of the load of protecting each night. Watching these 4 majestic dogs perform using their natural instincts of protecting their livestock is one of the greatest liberties that I have in life. I try to tell them how much I appreciate them. My touch on their face, wiping a sleepy from their eye, is all from a place of love and I try hard to send my love to them through ways that they would feel it. 

Duck's Up

This pup-talk leads me into ducks up with the ducks. We've had 7 ducks for a long time now. Yes, the new pups had been bothersome to them, but not harmful to them and we resolved that situation with  further training so that they understand that the ducks are not for them to play with. Luckily, no one ever got hurt. 

And now there's 4

The 4 biggest ones are left

And then, I noticed one day that we had only 6 ducks. I walked the whole property and found no evidence of a duck situation. Yes, some of these ducks can fly, and have actually flown over to the neighboring pasture, but have flown back. So I'm thinking it flew, and never was able to fly back - whatever that means. Or it found a better pond. I don't know.

Fast forward to another day the following week, and now there's 5 ducks. What the duck. Again, I walked the property for evidence of fowl play and there's nothing. No feathers, no body, nothing. I look at the pups and they just stare back blankly at me. 

Then, after a day spent in Fort Worth with Brooks, I arrive back home to the 5 ducks, I then fed everyone and headed off to bed. In the morning, I notice we are now down to 4 ducks. Again, no evidence of any duck-gone-wrong around the property. They are just gone. Vanished. And now I have 4 ducks. Frick. 

There's options of what's going on here, and I'm happy to say none of the options include guard pups involvement. I'm thinking a hawk maybe, coming back again and again for dinner. There are a million hawks around here and they are always trying to get my chickens. Or maybe these ducks have flown up and away either to another pond (there are several close by) or they flew away and got lost. Each time, I listen and listen to hear their quacks. Nothing. They are just gone. 

So here I am, with 4 ducks. And what does David say? "4 ducks is the just-right amount of ducks we wanted in the first place, right?" So I guess the universe is giving him the exact amount of ducks he always wanted anyway. I may not understand this logic, but I'll go with it for now. Stupid hawks. I blame them.

My Little Spoon

She enjoys being the little spoon,
curling up close every night

My little spoon, Sugar, who David claims came directly from my own womb is going to be 5 years old later this year. I adopted her as an adult at 1 1/2 years old with no name and likely living in a crate most all, if not all, her life. I was told they had tried to breed her for awhile, and since that was not working out, they were going to sell her. Her number/name was M-156 when I took her home, shaking and scared out of her mind. She was scared of everything for a very long time, and will still not allow touch or pets from humans (with only rare exceptions) despite Maybe's best efforts to show her that dogs do love pets and treats. She weighs about 6-ish pounds and is white as snow. Some say she's broken. I say she's pawfect. The one thing Sugar has no clue about is the hawks above her, in the sky. The chickens know when hawks are there and circling above and they run to the barn. It's in their DNA. Sugar does not have those same chicken instincts. 

One day recently, I came home from work, and as usual, Sugar and Maybe came running out to the car to greet me as they do every day after work. But something was different today. Sugar was lethargic and not her usual excited self. She just wanted me to pick her up. I grab my stuff from the car, and with Sugar in hand, we go inside. For a little more clarity, The Littles (Maybe and Sugar) stay outside in the afternoons if it's nice weather while David works upstairs in the house. And when I come home from work in the afternoon (because I go to work at 6 am) then The Littles come back inside the house with me. Typically, Sugar acts each day as though she's not seen me in weeks, even though it's only been hours. But on this particular day, things were different. She just seemed so sad.

Maybe, Sugar and I go inside the house and I set Sugar in front of me on the counter to take a look at her. She's bleeding. From multiple areas. As David comes downstairs from a break from work, he finds me inspecting Sugar. We are both shocked. At first, we thought she had been shot by a gun. That's what the holes on her looked like. They were perfectly round holes puncturing her, with one particular area that was more torn apart and a deep puncture wound, perfectly round, going inside her. I immediately called the vet and they said to bring her up to the clinic. 

David and I get in the car and take Sugar up to our local vet and find out she's not been shot, but likely a hawk attack. And Sugar had gotten away from it. The vet says we'll need to leave Sugar and he's going to do surgery on her, as he'd need to put her to sleep to inspect the damage, sew her up and get it all managed and sorted out. 

As David and I leave Sugar, we go home perplexed that a predator had in fact tried to get Sugar. I'm not sure why we are so surprised by this, as she's small and white like a bunny, but it's just not happened before and we didn't see this coming. As David and I wait for the call from the vet to go back up and get Sugar, we review the happenings of the afternoon, look at the Ring app for activity out the front door, and review the Barn Cam. Nothing unusual there. Therefore, it must have happened in an area such as the side of the house or in front of the garage. We were still trying to figure it all out, and confused and shocked by what might have happened to her. Then, we got the call that Sugar was waking up from anesthesia and we could come get her. 

Sleeping off the sleepy medicine

We are so grateful to Dr Shelton for quickly taking such great care of Sugar. He said the wounds look to be from a hawk or owl, and one talon in particular went so deep in her, it pushed all the hair up inside her and he cleaned it all out, but that he would need to leave a drain in her for 10 days. She had stitches in several of the areas indicative of a hawk's claws/talons, and the one laceration might be where Sugar was trying to get away and the talon tore her skin open. 

Three areas on this side

Bruising and smaller puncture wounds 
on her undercarriage

We are fortunate her bowel was not punctured

Sugar came home with a cone on, but we were told she could have a sweater or shirt on instead to keep her from licking and chewing at the stitches and drain. I ended up purchasing a couple of onsie infant outfits, cutting the bottom snaps off and the soft material would cover her wounds. She did well with the onesies, as she was not having the cone and would be frozen in place whenever it was on. 

Not feeling well, just stiff and sore

For 10 days, Sugar's drain drained lots of ick and gunk. Technically, as a nurse I'd call it serosanguineous fluid. She was on antibiotics and pain meds. Then at our follow up appt, it was noted that the 'worst' wound had not adhered together due to the necrosis of the skin edges, therefore the stitches could not hold it together and heal. So Sugar was left with an open wound in one area. (I'll leave that photo out because it could be a bit shocking). In addition, after the drain was removed by the vet, she had a hematoma of fluid collection in an area of close proximity, whereby the fluid had not made it out of the drain, and instead collected in a pocket nearby. The vet took a syringe and aspirated several syringes of the fluid, and then poked another hole nearby to pinch and get the rest to drain out. The vet then offered us: 1) surgery again to attempt to close the wound, or 2) to give the open wound time to heal and close on its own (will take time) while continuing to stay on antibiotics.

10 days out and feeling better

For the meantime, we picked option 2, as the vet recommended it and we'll give that a go first. So here we are, changing her clothes each day, washing her wound and trying to keep it from getting infected. It's still draining, even with the drain out. But we are hoping it will dry out soon. Sugar is doing well overall now. She's beginning to feel better, but is still a bit clingy which is expected after the trauma and treatment. She will need more time to heal from this. Even though we can never be sure of the source of her injuries, all signs point to a hawk. Sugar is not afraid of any of the animals on the farm, which leads us to believe that it was a predator. Her first time out to potty after the event, Sugar made sure to look all around (and up) before stepping too far out the door. 

After talking about this at work (in the OR) I learned that several doctor and nurse friends had people they knew that had small dogs taken up and away by hawks. Literally off the ground and up in the air, taken right in front of their eyes. After listening to other people's experiences with hawks and dogs, it's hard to believe that Sugar actually got away and survived. If I were to come home from work and Sugar was gone, I would be devastated yet not have considered a hawk, but rather someone picking her up or her getting lost. Now, I understand. You hear about these things happening. It's like us with cancer. It happens to other people, but never really realizing that it's about to happen to you. We, too, had a small dog almost taken by a hawk. I shudder at the thought of losing Sugar. She's my dog soulmate, and it's a special relationship that I'm not able to put into words. And I know a lot of words.

 

Yes, hello, I was supposed to get a delivery of love and affection (Hope and Dora every day)

The irony of my last post being about my so-called conundrums brought about escalating dilemmas. Maybe God thought he'd show me what conundrums really are, because what I was speaking of were rather small issues. So here, here's some bigger issues for you, Cyndi. Nothing you can't handle. But try these out. 

And sure enough, what I thought was an issue with Hope (in my last post) has escalated to her skin condition doubling in size within a matter of days. I cannot for the life of me figure this out, and have been unsuccessful with a regular vet's help. So, I called an equine vet this time. And Dr Nancy from Mid-South Equine came over and took 3 punch biopsies from the area in question. A punch biopsy is a device that is like a small, circular sharp cutting tool that is poked into the affected area, and the skin and tissue underneath it is then brought out and sent to a pathologist for review. Dr Nancy did not know what is happening with Hope's skin/wound/hair loss on her right shoulder, so maybe the biopsy will tell us what it is so that we can treat it accordingly. Dr Nancy gave Hope a sedative to calm her so that the procedure could be accomplished. What I learned is that most vets, and even farriers, feel like mini horses are difficult, mean and ornery. Yes, mini horses are super cute, but they have a reputation for being badly behaved. Hear me out, I do make excuses for Hope. She came from a Kill Pen after being abused most of her life. Hope is not going to be that sweet, trusting soul right now. She's just not. She's come a LONG way with us, and only time and continued loving care will propel her forward. Dora, on the other hand is just a sweet nugget. No, she did not come to us that way, as she came to us as a biter and a kicker. But over time, she too has sweetened up to the point of being a lovey-dovey. I trust her impeccably, and feel like she trust me that way as well. Mini's take time. Sometimes I think Dora would love to come live in the house with us. She's like a big dog, following me around. Hope is right there, too, but keeps more distance. She halters easily, so I know she trust me. Her memories haunt her at times, and I have to understand that. These two horses teach me patience, require me to calm my energy before asking them to do anything, and always bring me in the moment when interacting with them. And Hope's favorite thing is to do when I halter her is look square into my eyes and stare, looking straight into my soul. She's searching deep inside me, finding the love and peace she needs so badly. I stare back and let her know she's safe, with no words spoken. We'll get you fixed up, my girl. We will. 

Season 3 of the pandemic continues

As we start to unmask a little bit more, and wait for the next variant, it feels good to take a breath for a minute. Spring has arrived and the weather warms our bodies and soul. It's time for those spring projects to come to life. One of ours is bringing in a dump truck of dirt (12 yards is the term they used) and spreading it. So as I watch youtube videos of How To Operate a Skid Steer, we will spend the upcoming weekend repairing a portion of the side/back pasture that the huge concrete truck tore up. Yes, the concrete truck had to get to the back pasture and we are glad it did (love the concrete floor in the back barn). But repairs are now needed due to the deep gouges in the dirt causing irrigation issues and further dirt erosion. So, on Saturday, the dirt will be delivered and we'll be the ones to spread it. After that, we'll get a delivery of rock that will be spread on top of the dirt. Wouldn't that be fun if we got good enough at this, we could make it a retirement job. We could buy a Bobcat skid steer and spread dirt for people. Some people charge $100 an hour to do this. I digress. For now, we'll see how this goes. I gotta get back to watching Skid Steer 101 and how not to accidentally flip it over. And check my insurance policy.

In other news, John (rooster) and Paul (turkey) are co-existing together very well. Can you believe I still have that rooster? The chickens are all glad it's getting warm and laying eggs like you wouldn't believe. I get so many eggs a day that even I'm amazed. I shouldn't be that surprised because I have so many chickens, but winter took the egg production down so low, that I'm just now seeing just how many of my chickens are actually laying eggs. And it's a lot. 

Besties who roam the land during the day

Maggie and Prissy are busy being pigs who squeal loudly to get what they want. I now now what a real pig squeal sounds like. The sheep are scheduled to be sheared this spring before summer. The guard pups survived the eating of the coban/gauze dressing and their dew claw removal sites have healed up nicely despite their attempt to sabotage it. They'll be 6 months old and are huge. And in doing something I thought he would like, Washington has had the privilege of going outside in a fenced area during the nice weather, and much to my surprise, he's not liking it.

Washington and Sugar are fond of each other

He prefers his inside home over the opportunity to visit the outside grass and sun. I guess not every rabbit loves the outdoors. He's more of a home bunny. 

All the barn cats are enjoying time outside with the warm sun. The Cat Room (our laundry room) is more vacant than ever as I watch the cats have the freedom to roam. And Little Brooks is enjoying more time outside in this warmer weather. He says 'outside' and is a lover of all things outdoors. Recently, he and I walked to the Fort Worth Stockyards to a Quarter Horse Show - and it was amazing. 

He's always up to trying new things and going new places. He turned 17 months here in March, and it's hard to believe that in October, we will start with years and no longer go by months. I love it that he says Nana, and that he brings me to a simple place in life of appreciating the articulation of a new word. Any new word. It feels like a blooming flower every time a new word flies out of his mouth. I imagine you have your own loved ones in your family that are young, and watching them flourish is amazing, despite that humans have been doing this forever. It never gets old. 

Monkey see, Monkey do

Time to go rest my body so that I can seize the opportunity of working in the OR with pediatric patients during the week. It's the sunshine in my day when it's raining outside. Their little faces. Their sweet smiles, their trust, their innocence, and just knowing that we are helping them in life brings such a sense of satisfaction and purpose. I'm forever honored with the trust these parents have to hand their child to a nurse to head into surgery. It's also a constant reminder of how fragile life really is. 

May you have all kinds of happy today,

Cyndi

Happy 60th Anniversary, Mom and Dad! 

I'm heading out to visit these two cuties
in a couple of weeks 💕