During this time of adjustment to the care and upkeep of many farm animals, I've discovered many new things about myself. The last couple of years have been growing years for me. I've learned how to handle new situations more confidently, how to stay calm and make more appropriate decisions, and esp the ability to be compassionate regarding what other people are going through in life. So that's a big leap. From learning to care for a farm to a heightened self-awareness of other's feelings. I cannot take the credit for it. The only credit I can take is the ability I've been granted to be open to these experiences. It's God who has placed these experiences in front of me, for me to then pick up, observe and contribute positively to. What am I talking about? It's complex, and has taken even myself time to figure out it's happening.
In the last few years, there's many people in my life who have situations happening to them (as we all do, really). But some of these have made a greater impact on me, than others. Why? Because I have been able to closely relate to their feelings and have a greater understanding of the big picture. I have large, and small examples. But the few examples I'll illustrate, are the bigger events that help me understand there's many more I may be missing.
It starts like this. Like many, many families in this world, a member of my extended family had become addicted to alcohol, years ago. An Alcoholic, if you will. This is a cruel disease with little understanding for those who do not have it. I was the usual family member who desired to help and assist where I could. But in time, our family realized this disease must be managed by the affected person, with support from their loved ones. Everyone in the family had their own thoughts about how best to help. Jump in, stay away, watch from afar, give money, give emotional support, etc. But none of us could ever truly feel her pain of the addiction. What's it like to be addicted to anything? To be called in life by only one thing: Alcohol. It makes all your decisions for you. What's it like to not have enough willpower strong enough to beat it? Is there enough willpower to even overcome it? The myriad of complexity of finding success in beating any addiction cannot be put into words, as willpower cannot solve it alone.
Years later, unknowingly related, I was granted a compulsion to eat sweets. I don't just mean, "I want a cupcake", as I've always had a sweet tooth. Always. I mean MUST EAT SWEET, SUGAR THINGS NOW. AND EAT MORE AND MORE. I can't say how it began, but it did. My 'take-away' from that period of time that this was happening was: 1) Something is wrong with me because I can't say NO, and my impulse is too strong to stop myself. Who am I? 2) Is this a phase? I thought I was on-track of controlling my behavior with sweets. What's happening? and, 3) I was able to recognize that there was a problem, and this was different. My inability to control myself was gone. Numbing and comforting turned into obsessive, uncontrollable and shameful behavior.
And it was in that moment, I could FINALLY relate to the addiction my family member suffered. I understood in that moment, the inability to say No. There is no stopping yourself. There is only regret after it's done. Now, I do realize this is nothing like addiction to drugs and alcohol. Yet, this on-going experience was able to help me understand the "force" of addiction and how saying No is impossible. It was only cupcake (that always led to another, and another), but I know there's others who will say, "it's only one drink". Which leads to another. And another. The compulsion is there, with regret and shame coming to visit soon after.
Thank you, God, for putting this experience in front of me to give me a better understanding of how it must feel. I may never know exactly how it feels, but I now have a vivid understanding and feeling of how it might feel. And just that window into that particular feeling helps me find greater compassion and empathy for others with addiction. For a moment in time, I felt it. I really did. I get it now.
Then, another life-event happened in my life. A few years back, I was chosen to be blessed with a close encounter of a particular cancer, in which testing and oncology visits were required. Waiting time to hear results, discussions of what-could-be-next for me, prognosis, and life-changing words from the oncologist brought to life the feelings that millions of people also hear every day. Without going into too much detail, I will summarize it by saying it brought life to my life. How valuable our lives are. How quickly it can be taken away. The cloud that follows you, until you know a "yes or no" that things are okay. I remember sitting next to others in the oncologist office waiting room, looking at those struggling around me. Feeling their feelings. I remember sitting in the Infusion Room, knowing those around me were truly fighting cancer the best they could. I was merely getting a Iron infusion to assist with my situation. They were fighting for their lives. It brings a lump to my throat even now, and a tear in my eye. Yet, God put me there so I could feel their feelings, and understand others and what they are going through. And test me, to give me the opportunity for a test-run on what to do when tragedy strikes. I thought all the thoughts, I went through all the motions, and my "take-way" at the time was: Having a set amount of time left to live is a blessing. It is. It allows you to set your path. I would have never learned this without this experience. Thankfully, my diagnosis did not end with a expiration date. But I learned not be afraid of death. I learned what others felt, and how different we all look at life when given a time frame. And I enjoy talking to others with cancer and sharing our stories. When we survive any degree of cancer - or cancer scares - we are then able to help others know it's going to be okay, when it happens to them. We can tell each other, "It's going to be okay", even when we're not sure it is. Those words are priceless.
And my last example that I've been blessed with, is the ability to relate to my running-across-the-US partner, John. We had to cut our last trip short due to a health issue with his inability to swallow well. He had been struggling with this, and it got worse on our last attempt to run across the US (north to south, this time). We did not know what the etiology was, yet only knew it was impeding his ability to eat and drink. He went home to get some rest and see about getting better. I did the same, as I was not going to be staying out on the road alone, per a promise I had made to my family - and myself. I never delved into this throat swallowing issue much further, until it happened to me. Last Saturday, matter-of-fact. God works in ways I cannot explain. I was eating at a restaurant, and choked on something. Long story short, whatever it was, scratched my esophagus, and boom, misery began. It became extremely difficult to swallow, and to make things worse, I developed strep throat days later, as a coincidence. Double whammy! After antibiotics, an EGD, and other misc medications to help my irritated and inflamed esophagus, I'm struggling to swallow as these combinations of events begin to heal. Yet, now I know how John felt! I've once again been blessed to know what it's like. Otherwise, I was bouncing along in life without a clear understanding. Now I know. It's as if someone hit me with a stick, and said, "This is how it feels, silly girl".
Over and over, I have so many examples where I've been better able to understand the feelings of others, what they are going through, and how they may be feeling at a deeper level than ever before. My husband mentioned to me, "Maybe you are just open to it now". And he's right. I'm open to acknowledging that these events are happening, and how they relate to life and others. I have been so caught up in my own world, that I've been blessed with events that snap me out of it, so that I can relate to others on a deeper level. It's not about me, it's about me relating to others in a wholehearted way. It's about others, their feelings, their needs and their inter-most thoughts, fears and dreams. I'm so grateful to have experiences that move me in that direction, to living a life filled with more compassion and empathy. I must move through it so that I am able to see others moving through theirs. It's almost like living outside of yourself. Outside of your own body, and looking objectively at what's happening around us. It's as if I'm on a different plane of energy in life now. That, or I'm just aging, getting older, and maybe a little wiser. And, open to what's happening around me. To be able to acknowledge events, and find deeper meaning in them, has been a gift I'm happy to open.
Here's to unfortunate incidents that make us better people,
Cyndi
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Cock-a-doodle-doo
It's true. One of the aforementioned white, beautiful cornish hens (who David has Big Green Egg plans for) is cock-a-doodle-dooing. Those two sweet hens were already on their way to the smoker because they are meat-chickens, and I mean they are meaty. But to make things worse, one (Daisy) is singing a song a rooster would sing. You know the Sheriff's rule......No Roosters.
What's interesting is that this "hen" - who may be a rooster - is non-aggressive. It's not rooster material, and it does not have protective tendencies that roosters have. It acts like a hen. David and I have both heard of hens who make the cock-a-doodle-do type of sound, or at least it says so in my Chicken Book. So since this particular chicken is not aggressive and seems to get along with everyone, "it" has privileges to stay, for now. It's already bad enough that Daisy is destined for the smoker, but to be even considered a rooster is "life-changing" - if you know what I mean. I do not have the heart to say "yes" to sending these two meat chickens to the smoker. We have never done that, and that's not the kind of farm we are. I'm not saying it will never happen, but if my vote counts, it's to 'live and let live'. Daisy and Lily are allowed into the barn/coop quarters at night, and have a routine to free range (because we make them do so) during the day. They are not natural forgers, and just prefer to hang out instead. All our other egg laying chickens free range willingly. They love it! It's natural to them. But Daisy and Lily are not that - and this is new to us. Which is why we have contemplated what to do. The answer? We keep them as they are. They follow me around the yard, and are curious creatures. My gentle giants have a place on the farm.
How is the positive dog training coming along? Tula, Lauren's visiting puppy, is doing well with it. She'd do even better if I was more of a master at the positive training. Tula and I go every Sunday at 1:30 pm to the dog training center to be further educated on it. I learn SO much every time I go. It's like overload in my brain, and I find it hard to remember all their tips, words and examples. There's so much to it. Right now, we are in the class Manners I. If we have to repeat it, it will be my responsibility. I think I'm okay with repeating it, and I really don't know what we have to do to "prove" our worthiness to go onto Manner II? I know what I want. I want to press the Easy button and have it all done. But nope, there's more to it than that. And let me tell you how easy it is to mess it all up.
Example:
Problem: Your puppy dog jumps up on you (or other people).
Solution: Ignore them. Turn the other way. Since "you" are the reward, they do not get the reward when they behave poorly (jumping up on you). Even saying "no" to them is attention/reward from you, and your dog is fine with that. So, stay quiet/ignore the jumping, and wait until they have all four paws on the ground, then you can pet/talk to them. And, you should ask them for a positive behavior from them, such as "sit" at this time.
How have I messed this up, you ask? It seemed so simple. But I was not considering the psychological thought process of a puppy/dog. I was asking for a "sit" when Tula was still in motion. Which leads her to think: I jump up, I sit, then I get my reward (attention from my person). WRONG. The jumping up part is now in their thought process. Jump, sit, reward. Boy, did I mess that up. So, I will change, ever-so-slightly, what I do. I will ignore her jumping up on me - until she has all four paws on the ground. Then ask for her "sit", then love on her. This one tiny thing makes a huge difference in how your dog 'sees' things. This is only one of the many things I need to consider when training with the positive reinforcement theory. Timing is everything! Giving a treat at just that right moment. Making the proper action at just the proper time. It just seems like the word No would solve all of this, doesn't it? Not to mention faster response and "learning". I kinda like the idea of using a combination of the two methods. I wonder what results that would produce? I try not to be too self-critical of my abilities regarding this situation, yet being responsible for another person's dog has been enlightening to me.
Speaking of, while listening to an audiobook today on my run, I realized how easy it is to be so self-critical - to the point where I sometimes have this need to explain and justify my decisions and actions. That's what I love about blogging. I can "put it all out there". My thoughts, my feelings, my decisions, my words. It's an outlet to share my inner self. In my day-to-day world, I find myself using my filter, choosing my words, and sometimes limiting who I am, to the world. I made a breakthrough at work the other day regarding who I am - and why I do (or don't) - do things. I was asked if I was attending the work holiday party. Granted, this question was asked in the Operating Room where a grouping of people are all being asked. I replied, "No, thank you". When I was asked Why? I paused and replied, "There is no Why", and fell silent. As if I had put a silent Period on the end of my statement. It was not sarcastic, negative or insulting. Just plain and straight, innocent and unassuming. I did not feel as if I owed anyone, including myself, an explanation. I have always felt the need to give a reason, an excuse or an answer. But all of a sudden, I walked through a new place, a new door, one which took me somewhere new, where I didn't owe a justification for my action. Why haven't I gotten here earlier in life? (there's that self-critical behavior). Some people have already arrived there, but not necessarily me, and that's okay. I'm here now, and I'll be staying here long-term, in the land of: I Am Enough. I've been working on getting there, thanks to Brene Brown. After all, she's my favorite author who inspired me (years ago) of what it's like to live a wholehearted life.
I'm on a journey of Me. I'll be making different choices when it comes to justifications. Wow, that feels good.
Be your bee-ewe-tiful self. After all, if your not you, who will be you.
Still finding me,
Cyndi
What's interesting is that this "hen" - who may be a rooster - is non-aggressive. It's not rooster material, and it does not have protective tendencies that roosters have. It acts like a hen. David and I have both heard of hens who make the cock-a-doodle-do type of sound, or at least it says so in my Chicken Book. So since this particular chicken is not aggressive and seems to get along with everyone, "it" has privileges to stay, for now. It's already bad enough that Daisy is destined for the smoker, but to be even considered a rooster is "life-changing" - if you know what I mean. I do not have the heart to say "yes" to sending these two meat chickens to the smoker. We have never done that, and that's not the kind of farm we are. I'm not saying it will never happen, but if my vote counts, it's to 'live and let live'. Daisy and Lily are allowed into the barn/coop quarters at night, and have a routine to free range (because we make them do so) during the day. They are not natural forgers, and just prefer to hang out instead. All our other egg laying chickens free range willingly. They love it! It's natural to them. But Daisy and Lily are not that - and this is new to us. Which is why we have contemplated what to do. The answer? We keep them as they are. They follow me around the yard, and are curious creatures. My gentle giants have a place on the farm.
How is the positive dog training coming along? Tula, Lauren's visiting puppy, is doing well with it. She'd do even better if I was more of a master at the positive training. Tula and I go every Sunday at 1:30 pm to the dog training center to be further educated on it. I learn SO much every time I go. It's like overload in my brain, and I find it hard to remember all their tips, words and examples. There's so much to it. Right now, we are in the class Manners I. If we have to repeat it, it will be my responsibility. I think I'm okay with repeating it, and I really don't know what we have to do to "prove" our worthiness to go onto Manner II? I know what I want. I want to press the Easy button and have it all done. But nope, there's more to it than that. And let me tell you how easy it is to mess it all up.
Example:
Problem: Your puppy dog jumps up on you (or other people).
Solution: Ignore them. Turn the other way. Since "you" are the reward, they do not get the reward when they behave poorly (jumping up on you). Even saying "no" to them is attention/reward from you, and your dog is fine with that. So, stay quiet/ignore the jumping, and wait until they have all four paws on the ground, then you can pet/talk to them. And, you should ask them for a positive behavior from them, such as "sit" at this time.
How have I messed this up, you ask? It seemed so simple. But I was not considering the psychological thought process of a puppy/dog. I was asking for a "sit" when Tula was still in motion. Which leads her to think: I jump up, I sit, then I get my reward (attention from my person). WRONG. The jumping up part is now in their thought process. Jump, sit, reward. Boy, did I mess that up. So, I will change, ever-so-slightly, what I do. I will ignore her jumping up on me - until she has all four paws on the ground. Then ask for her "sit", then love on her. This one tiny thing makes a huge difference in how your dog 'sees' things. This is only one of the many things I need to consider when training with the positive reinforcement theory. Timing is everything! Giving a treat at just that right moment. Making the proper action at just the proper time. It just seems like the word No would solve all of this, doesn't it? Not to mention faster response and "learning". I kinda like the idea of using a combination of the two methods. I wonder what results that would produce? I try not to be too self-critical of my abilities regarding this situation, yet being responsible for another person's dog has been enlightening to me.
Speaking of, while listening to an audiobook today on my run, I realized how easy it is to be so self-critical - to the point where I sometimes have this need to explain and justify my decisions and actions. That's what I love about blogging. I can "put it all out there". My thoughts, my feelings, my decisions, my words. It's an outlet to share my inner self. In my day-to-day world, I find myself using my filter, choosing my words, and sometimes limiting who I am, to the world. I made a breakthrough at work the other day regarding who I am - and why I do (or don't) - do things. I was asked if I was attending the work holiday party. Granted, this question was asked in the Operating Room where a grouping of people are all being asked. I replied, "No, thank you". When I was asked Why? I paused and replied, "There is no Why", and fell silent. As if I had put a silent Period on the end of my statement. It was not sarcastic, negative or insulting. Just plain and straight, innocent and unassuming. I did not feel as if I owed anyone, including myself, an explanation. I have always felt the need to give a reason, an excuse or an answer. But all of a sudden, I walked through a new place, a new door, one which took me somewhere new, where I didn't owe a justification for my action. Why haven't I gotten here earlier in life? (there's that self-critical behavior). Some people have already arrived there, but not necessarily me, and that's okay. I'm here now, and I'll be staying here long-term, in the land of: I Am Enough. I've been working on getting there, thanks to Brene Brown. After all, she's my favorite author who inspired me (years ago) of what it's like to live a wholehearted life.
I'm on a journey of Me. I'll be making different choices when it comes to justifications. Wow, that feels good.
Be your bee-ewe-tiful self. After all, if your not you, who will be you.
Still finding me,
Cyndi
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Let's Do Some Updating
Happy Post Thanksgiving! If having way too much food around at all times AND being off work isn't enough, we had our sweet daughter, Lauren, in town for 4 days. We were thrilled to have her here for the holiday, but her puppy (Tula) was even more excited to have her Dog Mama here. They are bonded beyond belief, and only have eyes for each other. So with that, here's the scoopie poop:
Lauren is moving back to the Dallas area at the end of December, as she has taken a job here, instead of the original plan of going to Houston. Either way, it's a win-win. Houston has a fabulous library system, and Lauren was to be a Youth Librarian there. But after much thought, she has decided to take a Children's Librarian position in the Dallas area instead. She's super excited to 1) move back to Texas, and 2) have her puppy back - and be near family again. We are looking forward to her being close again, and I will have my yoga partner back, as well as a fellow running partner. Colorado has been good to her, and I know it will be a experience she'll always remember.
As Tula awaits her Dog Mama to come back, David and I are doing the best we can to be surrogate dog parents. Tula and I are still going to Manners Class at What A Great Dog training facility in Frisco. It's a completely positive reinforcement discipline used to train your puppy/dog. I have blogged about this new-to-me training method previously, and am happy to report I've come a long way in my own progress. Tula can only be as good as I am, as she relies on me to train her. And I'm not that good. So she rides the struggle bus, along with me, as we go through this journey of learning good dog manners together. It's a team effort, and since there's no "I" in team (there is a "me" though) it's either we're both succeeding - or we're both screwing it all up. I'll leave it as: we are a work-in-progress. I definitely have more work to do, but I will tell you, I can regurgitate the proper actions verbally, but actually doing them is another story. I do know one thing, that when it rains dog treats from my fingers, Tula is a perfect puppy pupil. Attentive and willing to do most anything. Unfortunately, I can't live my life with my dog-treat bag hanging from my waist band. That's a real thing, by the way, and I'm "that lady" with her bag of treats hanging from the waist band of my sweat pants. It's not a good look. But I do what I have to do - when I'm at dog school.
Now what about those new baby chicks I got awhile back, you ask? We had purchased 6 mystery chicks a couple of months ago, because the people who sold them to us said, "Well, we think they are (make up any name) breed, or (make up another name) breed. Yeah, we're pretty sure they will be one of those breeds". WRONG. It only took a matter of (short) time to realize they did not know what they were talking about. And it's not like we are experts on baby chickens either, so between all of us involved, no one knew what-the-heck breed these chicks really were. Fast forward 2-3 months, and waa-laa, we learned several things. 1) 4 of them were roosters. Now, you know the Sheriff (my husband, David) does not have many rules in life, but one of his rules is: No Roosters. Period. Away those 4 go, to a new home that allows roosters. 2) The 2 remaining chicks began to divide their cells at such a fast pace, they were hot to the touch. This is true, I promise. If you were to pick up one of these sweet chickens, you would think they were running a fever. They feel like they are literally on fire. Their cells are dividing and growing at a incredible pace. Why? Because they are cornish hens. Beautiful, huge, white cornish hens. Huge, short, wide legs. Ginormous bodies, waddling around on these short, fat legs. They are meat chickens. Just like the majority of chickens that people eat every day. The problem is, I have named them. Daisy and Lily. How could I possibly eat them?! They don't forage for food, they enjoy the food provided for them, and they will lay very few eggs. They are the kindest and sweetest chickens you can imagine. Gentle giants. The smaller (yet older) chickens boss them around! To add a twist of irony to this dilemma, is David got a new Big Green Egg and he'd love nothing more than to cook these tasty delights on it. I am sick about this. It's a predicament that's weighing heavy on me. Do we really eat them? Do I let them just continue to grow and grow until they burst? Because they get bigger all the time. This "update" will go unsolved. It's like watching a Dateline that doesn't find the perpetrator. This will continue to be a mystery of what we'll do. David is off work Friday to cook a brisket, and I have a hunch that there will be more than red meat on his new smoker. I feel nauseous.
I'll turn to a happier bit of news. David and I have the opportunity to travel to Honduras in February for a mission trip. One World Surgery Center is able to provide surgeries to the people (in need) in Honduras based on volunteers and donations. It is located on a 24/7 well-guarded ranch, along with an orphanage. I will volunteer as a Operating Room Registered Nurse, while David will volunteer for what they call "General" duties such as cooking, assisting in the surgery center, assisting in the orphanage, or many other general duties such as mowing, painting (or such) that is needed at the time we are there. I'll definitely blog each day I'm there so you can come along with me!
As we all fall back into our usual routines after this wonderful holiday, I realize how much I love routine in my life. I'm one of those people who can eat the same things each day, go to bed at the same time each day, and become way too set in my ways. So in my effort(s) to be more mindful, I stay turned for opportunities to grow. This helps me not be so stuck in my ways. I do enjoy thinking outside of my 9 dots. It's good for my brain, my mind, my soul and my spirit. Whether it's asking my daughter the specific reasons I should change my internet browser to Google Chrome (because she thinks it's the bomb), or not using the sentence "well it's not broken, so my iPhone 5 is just fine", or recognizing when I'm saying something "old people" say - or resisting change, esp when it comes to technology. I have many opportunities for self-improvement. As each year passes, I have to remind myself to be more objective. It's easy to start closing my world down a little at a time as each year passes. I want to be better, and open myself up, instead. This definitely requires extra effort on my part. Did I mention I'm a work-in-progress?
Stuck on my Safari internet browser,
Cyndi
Lauren is moving back to the Dallas area at the end of December, as she has taken a job here, instead of the original plan of going to Houston. Either way, it's a win-win. Houston has a fabulous library system, and Lauren was to be a Youth Librarian there. But after much thought, she has decided to take a Children's Librarian position in the Dallas area instead. She's super excited to 1) move back to Texas, and 2) have her puppy back - and be near family again. We are looking forward to her being close again, and I will have my yoga partner back, as well as a fellow running partner. Colorado has been good to her, and I know it will be a experience she'll always remember.
As Tula awaits her Dog Mama to come back, David and I are doing the best we can to be surrogate dog parents. Tula and I are still going to Manners Class at What A Great Dog training facility in Frisco. It's a completely positive reinforcement discipline used to train your puppy/dog. I have blogged about this new-to-me training method previously, and am happy to report I've come a long way in my own progress. Tula can only be as good as I am, as she relies on me to train her. And I'm not that good. So she rides the struggle bus, along with me, as we go through this journey of learning good dog manners together. It's a team effort, and since there's no "I" in team (there is a "me" though) it's either we're both succeeding - or we're both screwing it all up. I'll leave it as: we are a work-in-progress. I definitely have more work to do, but I will tell you, I can regurgitate the proper actions verbally, but actually doing them is another story. I do know one thing, that when it rains dog treats from my fingers, Tula is a perfect puppy pupil. Attentive and willing to do most anything. Unfortunately, I can't live my life with my dog-treat bag hanging from my waist band. That's a real thing, by the way, and I'm "that lady" with her bag of treats hanging from the waist band of my sweat pants. It's not a good look. But I do what I have to do - when I'm at dog school.
Now what about those new baby chicks I got awhile back, you ask? We had purchased 6 mystery chicks a couple of months ago, because the people who sold them to us said, "Well, we think they are (make up any name) breed, or (make up another name) breed. Yeah, we're pretty sure they will be one of those breeds". WRONG. It only took a matter of (short) time to realize they did not know what they were talking about. And it's not like we are experts on baby chickens either, so between all of us involved, no one knew what-the-heck breed these chicks really were. Fast forward 2-3 months, and waa-laa, we learned several things. 1) 4 of them were roosters. Now, you know the Sheriff (my husband, David) does not have many rules in life, but one of his rules is: No Roosters. Period. Away those 4 go, to a new home that allows roosters. 2) The 2 remaining chicks began to divide their cells at such a fast pace, they were hot to the touch. This is true, I promise. If you were to pick up one of these sweet chickens, you would think they were running a fever. They feel like they are literally on fire. Their cells are dividing and growing at a incredible pace. Why? Because they are cornish hens. Beautiful, huge, white cornish hens. Huge, short, wide legs. Ginormous bodies, waddling around on these short, fat legs. They are meat chickens. Just like the majority of chickens that people eat every day. The problem is, I have named them. Daisy and Lily. How could I possibly eat them?! They don't forage for food, they enjoy the food provided for them, and they will lay very few eggs. They are the kindest and sweetest chickens you can imagine. Gentle giants. The smaller (yet older) chickens boss them around! To add a twist of irony to this dilemma, is David got a new Big Green Egg and he'd love nothing more than to cook these tasty delights on it. I am sick about this. It's a predicament that's weighing heavy on me. Do we really eat them? Do I let them just continue to grow and grow until they burst? Because they get bigger all the time. This "update" will go unsolved. It's like watching a Dateline that doesn't find the perpetrator. This will continue to be a mystery of what we'll do. David is off work Friday to cook a brisket, and I have a hunch that there will be more than red meat on his new smoker. I feel nauseous.
I'll turn to a happier bit of news. David and I have the opportunity to travel to Honduras in February for a mission trip. One World Surgery Center is able to provide surgeries to the people (in need) in Honduras based on volunteers and donations. It is located on a 24/7 well-guarded ranch, along with an orphanage. I will volunteer as a Operating Room Registered Nurse, while David will volunteer for what they call "General" duties such as cooking, assisting in the surgery center, assisting in the orphanage, or many other general duties such as mowing, painting (or such) that is needed at the time we are there. I'll definitely blog each day I'm there so you can come along with me!
As we all fall back into our usual routines after this wonderful holiday, I realize how much I love routine in my life. I'm one of those people who can eat the same things each day, go to bed at the same time each day, and become way too set in my ways. So in my effort(s) to be more mindful, I stay turned for opportunities to grow. This helps me not be so stuck in my ways. I do enjoy thinking outside of my 9 dots. It's good for my brain, my mind, my soul and my spirit. Whether it's asking my daughter the specific reasons I should change my internet browser to Google Chrome (because she thinks it's the bomb), or not using the sentence "well it's not broken, so my iPhone 5 is just fine", or recognizing when I'm saying something "old people" say - or resisting change, esp when it comes to technology. I have many opportunities for self-improvement. As each year passes, I have to remind myself to be more objective. It's easy to start closing my world down a little at a time as each year passes. I want to be better, and open myself up, instead. This definitely requires extra effort on my part. Did I mention I'm a work-in-progress?
Stuck on my Safari internet browser,
Cyndi
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Tula
Tula is an (almost) 7 month old Australian Shepherd puppy who has come to the farm to live with us. She is Lauren's (our daughter) little puppy who will live with us until she moves from Colorado back to Texas. Lauren has taken a new Children's Librarian position in the Dallas area, and will be making her way back to Texas around Christmas time. Until then, Tula is on vacation here at the farm.
This actually occurred a few weeks ago, but David and I have been finding our 'new' normal and figuring out how a (herding) puppy will acclimate at the farm. Or should that be, how we'll acclimate with her here at the farm. I'll start with telling you about Tula. She's sweet, smart, playful and has a great desire to please. She has bright eyes, soft fur, and a heart of gold. She's had prior training at the age of 4 months and knows commands such as Sit and Heel, with a sprinkle of Tula, Come and/or Stay that needs some further undertaking. Granted, this prior training was done in a older fashion of what I've come to understand as "negative" dog training. Wait, what? Telling a dog No is a bad thing? What if we never told our children No? I may be old-school, but I was under the impression that that's how you help a dog understand expectations. No, don't do this, Yes, do this. And then the dog figures it out......right and wrong behaviors. Insert record scratch noise here. Nope, sorry Cyndi, that's not how it's done these days.
After hearing about some 'crazy' positive reinforcement dog training concept from not only my daughter, as well as co-workers, I poo-poo'd it (nice pun, huh?) and deleted that idea from my brain. I was convinced that since I've had plenty of dogs that have all turned out okay, that this "new" training idea was not for me. Then, I realized what I was doing. I was not receptive to this idea, and turned it away before even trying it - or considering it. I find as I get older that I can somehow justify this behavior. I can say, "No, thanks, I don't want to do fill-in-the-blank". It's as if I feel entitled to NOT have to try new things anymore because somehow my "old" way is still just as good. Kind of like the old adage: If it aint broke don't fix it. Time to reevaluate this, Cyndi. I can't start the old-person-hard-headed thing yet. I want to, but then I'm just setting my own self back in time. I've tried to tell myself I'll stay current, open-minded, objective and aware of new things as I age. How quickly this example shed a light on my need to improve, and stay true to being mindful of my thoughts and decisions. I was in auto-pilot mode when I shot down the positive dog training idea. That sounds like I would need to learn something new, that I don't care to learn. So, no thanks.
This situation of conflict brought about swirling in my soul, and chaos in my spirit. Should I try out this positive dog-training program? Should I revert to my old dog training ways? Why am I making this such a big deal? I know why. I have a puppy who is relying on me to help her be the best dog she can be.
Confession: I've been working on my mindfulness vs my mindlessness. It's so complicated, yet so simple. Mindfulness: A deliberate way of paying attention to what is occurring within oneself as it is happening. It is the process of attentively observing your experience as it unfolds, without judgement or evaluation". If I am to be mindful regarding this, I need to continue to develop deep attention to the present moment. Hence, I am utilizing this concept to have the awareness to see my own behavior regarding this dog training topic. I saw it! Right before my very eyes, when I am mindful, I am able to see what I'm doing. Dang it. It's easier to push it all away, and just say I'm not going to do this positive dog training thing. I'm going to do what - and how - I know in regards to training this puppy. And I did that. I said that. I put my foot down and said it out loud. "Not going to learn a new dog training technique". Period.
Yet, I didn't like the way it felt saying that. It's as if it tasted bad. Yeah, it felt good for a second after I said it, but then I knew better. If I am to be mindful of what I'm doing, I must be aware of all elements of it. Shutting down and rejecting this new opportunity of dog training was my example of mindlessness. Oh no! Just what I was trying not to do. I want to be less mindless and more mindful in my life.
I sat on my obstinance for a day. I let it brew inside me, and made every excuse why I made this decision. Then, I made my break-through. I paid attention to my thoughts, and the chatter in my head about it all. I observed my behavior as it all was occurring, and decided to be present in the moment. The old me would have plowed through with "not gonna do it". The new me wants to go somewhere new in life. Okay family, I'm boarding the train of Positive Reinforcement Dog Training. Okay then, I can't say the word 'No' to this puppy?! That's just crazy. Ooopppps, I didn't mean that. Or did I.
I proceeded to find a Doggie Day Care for Tula because David and I are both gone too long during the day to leave her crated. If we leave her out to roam the farm, she consistently herds the chickens, sheep and barn cats. Not a good thing. So we find a wonderful doggie daycare that specializes in positive reinforcement. That's a real thing, and apparently not hard to find, esp if I can find it.
Tula starts going to school each day. She plays hard all day, and there's even nap time from 12 - 2:30. By the way, you can't pick up your dog while they are napping (what universe do I live in?). The people there teach your dog a few chosen commands - with treats. They never say the word No. It rains treats at this Pet Resort.
Next? I signed up for a positive dog training class for me - and Tula, of course. But more for me. The name of this training center is called "What A Great Dog". For real. I've gone there twice now, for two group sessions with Tula. I'm in the moment while I'm there. I'm like a sponge, who is mesmerized by every word the Professional Positive Dog Trainer says. My mindfulness seems so natural there, as if I'm in a trance. Absorbing every action, word and movement around me. Like it's all happening in slow motion. I can't quit staring at the instructor, as if I can't believe what I'm hearing. Does this really work? I know one thing for sure.....I'm going to find out.
I better go buy more dog treats,
Cyndi
This actually occurred a few weeks ago, but David and I have been finding our 'new' normal and figuring out how a (herding) puppy will acclimate at the farm. Or should that be, how we'll acclimate with her here at the farm. I'll start with telling you about Tula. She's sweet, smart, playful and has a great desire to please. She has bright eyes, soft fur, and a heart of gold. She's had prior training at the age of 4 months and knows commands such as Sit and Heel, with a sprinkle of Tula, Come and/or Stay that needs some further undertaking. Granted, this prior training was done in a older fashion of what I've come to understand as "negative" dog training. Wait, what? Telling a dog No is a bad thing? What if we never told our children No? I may be old-school, but I was under the impression that that's how you help a dog understand expectations. No, don't do this, Yes, do this. And then the dog figures it out......right and wrong behaviors. Insert record scratch noise here. Nope, sorry Cyndi, that's not how it's done these days.
After hearing about some 'crazy' positive reinforcement dog training concept from not only my daughter, as well as co-workers, I poo-poo'd it (nice pun, huh?) and deleted that idea from my brain. I was convinced that since I've had plenty of dogs that have all turned out okay, that this "new" training idea was not for me. Then, I realized what I was doing. I was not receptive to this idea, and turned it away before even trying it - or considering it. I find as I get older that I can somehow justify this behavior. I can say, "No, thanks, I don't want to do fill-in-the-blank". It's as if I feel entitled to NOT have to try new things anymore because somehow my "old" way is still just as good. Kind of like the old adage: If it aint broke don't fix it. Time to reevaluate this, Cyndi. I can't start the old-person-hard-headed thing yet. I want to, but then I'm just setting my own self back in time. I've tried to tell myself I'll stay current, open-minded, objective and aware of new things as I age. How quickly this example shed a light on my need to improve, and stay true to being mindful of my thoughts and decisions. I was in auto-pilot mode when I shot down the positive dog training idea. That sounds like I would need to learn something new, that I don't care to learn. So, no thanks.
This situation of conflict brought about swirling in my soul, and chaos in my spirit. Should I try out this positive dog-training program? Should I revert to my old dog training ways? Why am I making this such a big deal? I know why. I have a puppy who is relying on me to help her be the best dog she can be.
Confession: I've been working on my mindfulness vs my mindlessness. It's so complicated, yet so simple. Mindfulness: A deliberate way of paying attention to what is occurring within oneself as it is happening. It is the process of attentively observing your experience as it unfolds, without judgement or evaluation". If I am to be mindful regarding this, I need to continue to develop deep attention to the present moment. Hence, I am utilizing this concept to have the awareness to see my own behavior regarding this dog training topic. I saw it! Right before my very eyes, when I am mindful, I am able to see what I'm doing. Dang it. It's easier to push it all away, and just say I'm not going to do this positive dog training thing. I'm going to do what - and how - I know in regards to training this puppy. And I did that. I said that. I put my foot down and said it out loud. "Not going to learn a new dog training technique". Period.
Yet, I didn't like the way it felt saying that. It's as if it tasted bad. Yeah, it felt good for a second after I said it, but then I knew better. If I am to be mindful of what I'm doing, I must be aware of all elements of it. Shutting down and rejecting this new opportunity of dog training was my example of mindlessness. Oh no! Just what I was trying not to do. I want to be less mindless and more mindful in my life.
I sat on my obstinance for a day. I let it brew inside me, and made every excuse why I made this decision. Then, I made my break-through. I paid attention to my thoughts, and the chatter in my head about it all. I observed my behavior as it all was occurring, and decided to be present in the moment. The old me would have plowed through with "not gonna do it". The new me wants to go somewhere new in life. Okay family, I'm boarding the train of Positive Reinforcement Dog Training. Okay then, I can't say the word 'No' to this puppy?! That's just crazy. Ooopppps, I didn't mean that. Or did I.
I proceeded to find a Doggie Day Care for Tula because David and I are both gone too long during the day to leave her crated. If we leave her out to roam the farm, she consistently herds the chickens, sheep and barn cats. Not a good thing. So we find a wonderful doggie daycare that specializes in positive reinforcement. That's a real thing, and apparently not hard to find, esp if I can find it.
Tula starts going to school each day. She plays hard all day, and there's even nap time from 12 - 2:30. By the way, you can't pick up your dog while they are napping (what universe do I live in?). The people there teach your dog a few chosen commands - with treats. They never say the word No. It rains treats at this Pet Resort.
Next? I signed up for a positive dog training class for me - and Tula, of course. But more for me. The name of this training center is called "What A Great Dog". For real. I've gone there twice now, for two group sessions with Tula. I'm in the moment while I'm there. I'm like a sponge, who is mesmerized by every word the Professional Positive Dog Trainer says. My mindfulness seems so natural there, as if I'm in a trance. Absorbing every action, word and movement around me. Like it's all happening in slow motion. I can't quit staring at the instructor, as if I can't believe what I'm hearing. Does this really work? I know one thing for sure.....I'm going to find out.
I better go buy more dog treats,
Cyndi
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Feeding Time
As I take refuge in the barn each day, normally in the mornings for feedings, and after work, I have come to realize that this is not just a chore I do, but a place of peace. I have established a ritual of feeding, so that all the animals know "their turn will come". Most wait patiently, having faith I will get to them soon. I love this about them. I try to take a page out of their book, knowing that if I also wait in life, I will be the recipient of just what I need.
I give my sweet barn cats fresh kitty food, with one cat in particular that gets "wet" cat food due to his difficulty with chewing hard food. The vet told us he also has colitis, and his gut may never be okay. We have tried everything to help him heal his tummy and colon issues including probiotics, antibiotics (to kill off the bad bacteria in his little gut), dewormer, amid varying his diet. He's of small statue and came to the farm not well. Thanks to the local vet, we have helped him feel somewhat better. I see him everyday as he allows me to pet and love him. But as a traditional barn kitty, he does not want to be picked up. No, thanks. He's my example of plugging along, even when your body is sabotaging you. An adult cat in a kitten-size body. He lives his best life, despite his tough beginnings in life, whereby his colon now wrecks havoc on him. But we are blessed to him now, and his calm spirit and sweet demeanor, despite his colon troubles, make him a wonderful addition to the barn. He literally gets along with everyone. Everyone. Sometimes, I just want to be him in life. Easy to get along with, well liked by all, and hang out all day. To have a cat that gets along with all the others is rare. We don't typically have any fighting, mind you, but some cats prefer other cat friends more than others. And he's my example of unity. He has no ill-will towards anyone. He's my pint-sized inspiration.
After I love on the cats, I move to feed my great pyrenees. My great protectors. If I could only tell them how much I appreciate them. Thank you Levi and Whisper for all you do. You constantly stand guard and protect the others. How can I ever repay you? My best attempt is to feed you well. I give all yummy leftovers (heated up) to them, mixed in their dog food. I talk sweetly to them, pet them, and provide them rewards from our own table. They are the reason everyone in the barn, and front pasture is safe from predators. They expend a lot of energy during the day and night, so eating well is a necessity.
Next up, my sweet sheep, who have been patiently waiting for their turn. They graze the pasture mostly, but they also get a certain amount of grain while in their pen. I pour the grain into their feeding pans, and you would think it was Christmas. Every time. It reminds me of when I get the yummiest food - at just that right time. Just digging in, not being able to eat it fast enough. They adore their grain time. And as a bonus, I'll add some alfalfa. Jackpot! Their little baaaaaa sounds warm my heart, and I realize how lucky I am to have them. God has put his trust in me, to provide for them all. And it's with great pleasure that I do.
Let's see. Whose next? Oh yes, the chickens! I make sure all their feeders are full, but also put down scratch for them on the barn floor. They can access it as they like. A chicken's best friend is fresh water. My two newest girlz to the flock have gotten so big. It takes time to incorporate other pullets/hens into a existing flock. Hierarchy is apparent. But so far so good, as it just takes time. What we found out is our two newest chicks, who have grown physically into "big chickens" are of the Cornish breed. Does that sound familiar? They are a meat chicken. Meaning they will not lay many eggs, and are better suited to be eaten. I mean, they are meaty! If you pick them up, you will know what I mean. And even though at only 4 months old, they are bigger than all my other chickens, they are gentle giants. They are literally pets. They follow you around, and are super friendly. They are not good forgers, and prefer to hang out in the barn - eat the food provided. That's fine with me. They are an accident, as the feed store we bought them from did not know their breed. Almost like they were mystery chickens. But now that they have developed and grown, we can see what kind they are. Chickens people eat. Daisy and Lily will live a luxury life on our farm. We will not be eating them. Love my chickens!
Now, onto my 3 beautiful donkeys who have been watching my every move. They know they will get something. But what? Well, first off, they basically will eat anything. But I try to give them fruit, carrots, alfalfa, old bread/tortillas, sweets of any kind or any leftovers I think they might like. They are not meat eaters, and prefer sweets if possible. Mints are a favorite of theirs. They have a sweet tooth....just like me. I take time to feed them whatever I have brought to them that day, and they readily trust me, knowing it's going to be good. They rarely reject my offerings. I pet them, love them, and tell them what good donkeys they are. Their personalities keep me entertained. I never in my life knew I would have donkeys. I absolutely adore them. They are kind to everyone who comes over, and are a fan-favorite for sure. We had a new barn/run-in shed built for them a few weeks ago in the back pasture, and knowing they have their own place allows me to sleep better at night. It's like a Donkey B&B. A place to call their own, stay warm and dry. Just knowing they have their own place calms any chaos in my spirit. I know they are okay, like all the rest of the farm animals. That's the only way I can truly lay my head and rest at night. Knowing all my sweet-peas (in the barn and pastures) are comfortable too. My heart is so tender when it comes to every one of them.
We have installed a Barn Cam (in the barn) and I have the privilege of watching them throughout the day on it, from my phone. I can check on them, see how their doing - or better yet - what they are doing, throughout the day. It allows me to be there, when I'm not there. After all.....there's really no where else in my day that brings the serenity and peace that my barn does.
Let your light shine,
Cyndi
Happy Birthday, Brooke!!! I hope you had lots of sweet treats as well.
I give my sweet barn cats fresh kitty food, with one cat in particular that gets "wet" cat food due to his difficulty with chewing hard food. The vet told us he also has colitis, and his gut may never be okay. We have tried everything to help him heal his tummy and colon issues including probiotics, antibiotics (to kill off the bad bacteria in his little gut), dewormer, amid varying his diet. He's of small statue and came to the farm not well. Thanks to the local vet, we have helped him feel somewhat better. I see him everyday as he allows me to pet and love him. But as a traditional barn kitty, he does not want to be picked up. No, thanks. He's my example of plugging along, even when your body is sabotaging you. An adult cat in a kitten-size body. He lives his best life, despite his tough beginnings in life, whereby his colon now wrecks havoc on him. But we are blessed to him now, and his calm spirit and sweet demeanor, despite his colon troubles, make him a wonderful addition to the barn. He literally gets along with everyone. Everyone. Sometimes, I just want to be him in life. Easy to get along with, well liked by all, and hang out all day. To have a cat that gets along with all the others is rare. We don't typically have any fighting, mind you, but some cats prefer other cat friends more than others. And he's my example of unity. He has no ill-will towards anyone. He's my pint-sized inspiration.
After I love on the cats, I move to feed my great pyrenees. My great protectors. If I could only tell them how much I appreciate them. Thank you Levi and Whisper for all you do. You constantly stand guard and protect the others. How can I ever repay you? My best attempt is to feed you well. I give all yummy leftovers (heated up) to them, mixed in their dog food. I talk sweetly to them, pet them, and provide them rewards from our own table. They are the reason everyone in the barn, and front pasture is safe from predators. They expend a lot of energy during the day and night, so eating well is a necessity.
Next up, my sweet sheep, who have been patiently waiting for their turn. They graze the pasture mostly, but they also get a certain amount of grain while in their pen. I pour the grain into their feeding pans, and you would think it was Christmas. Every time. It reminds me of when I get the yummiest food - at just that right time. Just digging in, not being able to eat it fast enough. They adore their grain time. And as a bonus, I'll add some alfalfa. Jackpot! Their little baaaaaa sounds warm my heart, and I realize how lucky I am to have them. God has put his trust in me, to provide for them all. And it's with great pleasure that I do.
Let's see. Whose next? Oh yes, the chickens! I make sure all their feeders are full, but also put down scratch for them on the barn floor. They can access it as they like. A chicken's best friend is fresh water. My two newest girlz to the flock have gotten so big. It takes time to incorporate other pullets/hens into a existing flock. Hierarchy is apparent. But so far so good, as it just takes time. What we found out is our two newest chicks, who have grown physically into "big chickens" are of the Cornish breed. Does that sound familiar? They are a meat chicken. Meaning they will not lay many eggs, and are better suited to be eaten. I mean, they are meaty! If you pick them up, you will know what I mean. And even though at only 4 months old, they are bigger than all my other chickens, they are gentle giants. They are literally pets. They follow you around, and are super friendly. They are not good forgers, and prefer to hang out in the barn - eat the food provided. That's fine with me. They are an accident, as the feed store we bought them from did not know their breed. Almost like they were mystery chickens. But now that they have developed and grown, we can see what kind they are. Chickens people eat. Daisy and Lily will live a luxury life on our farm. We will not be eating them. Love my chickens!
Now, onto my 3 beautiful donkeys who have been watching my every move. They know they will get something. But what? Well, first off, they basically will eat anything. But I try to give them fruit, carrots, alfalfa, old bread/tortillas, sweets of any kind or any leftovers I think they might like. They are not meat eaters, and prefer sweets if possible. Mints are a favorite of theirs. They have a sweet tooth....just like me. I take time to feed them whatever I have brought to them that day, and they readily trust me, knowing it's going to be good. They rarely reject my offerings. I pet them, love them, and tell them what good donkeys they are. Their personalities keep me entertained. I never in my life knew I would have donkeys. I absolutely adore them. They are kind to everyone who comes over, and are a fan-favorite for sure. We had a new barn/run-in shed built for them a few weeks ago in the back pasture, and knowing they have their own place allows me to sleep better at night. It's like a Donkey B&B. A place to call their own, stay warm and dry. Just knowing they have their own place calms any chaos in my spirit. I know they are okay, like all the rest of the farm animals. That's the only way I can truly lay my head and rest at night. Knowing all my sweet-peas (in the barn and pastures) are comfortable too. My heart is so tender when it comes to every one of them.
We have installed a Barn Cam (in the barn) and I have the privilege of watching them throughout the day on it, from my phone. I can check on them, see how their doing - or better yet - what they are doing, throughout the day. It allows me to be there, when I'm not there. After all.....there's really no where else in my day that brings the serenity and peace that my barn does.
Let your light shine,
Cyndi
Happy Birthday, Brooke!!! I hope you had lots of sweet treats as well.
Monday, October 30, 2017
Loving Farm Life
Is what we have technically a farm? We have three ewes/sheep: Belle, Cotton and Eve (she was born New Years Eve). We have three donkeys (full size): Mama (Pumpkin), Papa and their 3 year old son, Baby (Pickles). We have eight chickens (hens): Ginger, Butterscotch, Pebbles, Pepper, Sunshine, Butter, Daisy and Lily. Six of them are laying eggs, while two are not yet of age. No roosters are allowed, per the Sheriff (that's David, my husband). We have few rules around here. But that's one of them. No roosters. We have 8 barn/garage cats: June Bug, July, Kitty, Smokey, Finn, Fi, Preston and Fern. Three of those are boys. They chase mice, and all get along surprisingly well. We have four dogs: 2 LGD (Livestock Guard Dogs) Great Pyrenees Levi (brother), and Whisper (sister). Then, we have our two indoor/outdoor wanna-be farm dogs Bridgette (Weimaraner) and Maybe (King Charles Spaniel). We do have a "visiting"puppy, Tula, who is a beautiful Australian Shepherd that is 6 months old. She is with us until December, when our sweet daughter, Lauren, will be taking her back to live with her. We are enjoying her immensely while we have her with us. And Tula loves ALL the farm animals. And herding them back to their appropriate places.
That brings me back to: Do we technically have a farm? I'm going to say yes. Some call it a Hobby Farm, or a Smallholding. Our production of farm products is primarily eggs, well, it's only eggs. We do not plan on eating the chickens or sheep. They have names, and we don't eat pets. We have a barn that houses the chickens, sheep and LGD's. We recently had a loafing shed built in the back pasture for our 3 donkeys to protect them from the sun, wind, rain or cold - or a combination of those things. They love it. It's a place of their own. They are in charge of guarding the back pasture. And boy, can donkeys guard their territory! They can tear up a coyote in a minute. Donkeys do this by creating a circle around the predator, then start stomping them and biting them. Now granted, our donkeys are kind and sweet to humans, and those animals "they know". So they are perfect pets - and guard animals. We adore them. They love being loved, petted, brushed and even hugged.
So is it a farm? Or a petting zoo? We have had a multitude of visitors (family, friends, co-workers) and have even had a public library "story time" held at our farm. So far, everyone has left with all their fingers in tact. All our animals enjoy visitors. Some more than others, and even a few of our chickens willingly allow others to hold them and carry them around. Belle, one of our sheep, is a fan favorite. She's all about being petted, and you would think she was a dog, rather than a ewe. We bottle fed her starting at Day 1, so she is extremely tolerant of people. We had to buy the other two sheep so that they could teach her how to be a sheep. She thought she was a dog for quite a while.
If you read a previous blog posting, you will know we built a structure for the sheep/LGD. I won't go into all the details that I've covered previously, but it was meant to solve the problem of the sheep eating the dog's food. Just so you know, that didn't solve that problem, and now we have this structure (a modified children's playhouse/2-story) area that the sheep and dogs both love. They love being under it, where there's plenty of room and shade. It's like their own little house with a basement. No one - except Belle - goes up the ramp to go upstairs. But I've come to expect the unexpected. I thought they would ALL go up the ramp to the upstairs portion. Nope. They like it down below. It's become their favorite hangout place in the pasture. It's known as The Belle Tower, and has a sign on it as such.
Have I always lived with so many animals? No, but I've always wanted to. Just ask my mom and dad. It does require a large time commitment, vet visits, hay/feed/food for each animal, cleaning, mowing, lots of petting and providing love to them all, but this "work" is truly a labor of love. The contentment in my life is indescribable. When I'm in the barn, I am in the moment. I'm enjoying what I'm doing at that very minute. My mind is not somewhere else. And trust me, I have a monkey-mind, which, by the way, yoga and moving meditation (running) helps keep "under control". Being in the barn, on the mower, in the pasture, brushing the donkeys, loving on the sheep, gathering eggs, all bring me to one place. And that's in the very moment I'm in. Very few things in life have provided this to me. This contentment is something I get no where else, at least not at this level. It's a place where I don't need to practice mindfulness - it just happens. I'm in the moment, absorbed, with the chatter in my head gone. And completely aware of my surroundings. I let go of my day, my week, my worries - right here on my farm.
So it is a farm. Come see! After all, one of our greatest rewards is sharing it with others.
I've missed blogging, it's been way too long since I have. I promise not to wait so long next time. I appreciate you listening to all my written words, and would write all night if I could. Because where do all these kitty cats sleep and live? Can any of the animals come inside the house? Will our sheep have baby lambs? How will I finish my run across the US? So many questions.
More soon.....Cyndi
That brings me back to: Do we technically have a farm? I'm going to say yes. Some call it a Hobby Farm, or a Smallholding. Our production of farm products is primarily eggs, well, it's only eggs. We do not plan on eating the chickens or sheep. They have names, and we don't eat pets. We have a barn that houses the chickens, sheep and LGD's. We recently had a loafing shed built in the back pasture for our 3 donkeys to protect them from the sun, wind, rain or cold - or a combination of those things. They love it. It's a place of their own. They are in charge of guarding the back pasture. And boy, can donkeys guard their territory! They can tear up a coyote in a minute. Donkeys do this by creating a circle around the predator, then start stomping them and biting them. Now granted, our donkeys are kind and sweet to humans, and those animals "they know". So they are perfect pets - and guard animals. We adore them. They love being loved, petted, brushed and even hugged.
So is it a farm? Or a petting zoo? We have had a multitude of visitors (family, friends, co-workers) and have even had a public library "story time" held at our farm. So far, everyone has left with all their fingers in tact. All our animals enjoy visitors. Some more than others, and even a few of our chickens willingly allow others to hold them and carry them around. Belle, one of our sheep, is a fan favorite. She's all about being petted, and you would think she was a dog, rather than a ewe. We bottle fed her starting at Day 1, so she is extremely tolerant of people. We had to buy the other two sheep so that they could teach her how to be a sheep. She thought she was a dog for quite a while.
If you read a previous blog posting, you will know we built a structure for the sheep/LGD. I won't go into all the details that I've covered previously, but it was meant to solve the problem of the sheep eating the dog's food. Just so you know, that didn't solve that problem, and now we have this structure (a modified children's playhouse/2-story) area that the sheep and dogs both love. They love being under it, where there's plenty of room and shade. It's like their own little house with a basement. No one - except Belle - goes up the ramp to go upstairs. But I've come to expect the unexpected. I thought they would ALL go up the ramp to the upstairs portion. Nope. They like it down below. It's become their favorite hangout place in the pasture. It's known as The Belle Tower, and has a sign on it as such.
Have I always lived with so many animals? No, but I've always wanted to. Just ask my mom and dad. It does require a large time commitment, vet visits, hay/feed/food for each animal, cleaning, mowing, lots of petting and providing love to them all, but this "work" is truly a labor of love. The contentment in my life is indescribable. When I'm in the barn, I am in the moment. I'm enjoying what I'm doing at that very minute. My mind is not somewhere else. And trust me, I have a monkey-mind, which, by the way, yoga and moving meditation (running) helps keep "under control". Being in the barn, on the mower, in the pasture, brushing the donkeys, loving on the sheep, gathering eggs, all bring me to one place. And that's in the very moment I'm in. Very few things in life have provided this to me. This contentment is something I get no where else, at least not at this level. It's a place where I don't need to practice mindfulness - it just happens. I'm in the moment, absorbed, with the chatter in my head gone. And completely aware of my surroundings. I let go of my day, my week, my worries - right here on my farm.
So it is a farm. Come see! After all, one of our greatest rewards is sharing it with others.
I've missed blogging, it's been way too long since I have. I promise not to wait so long next time. I appreciate you listening to all my written words, and would write all night if I could. Because where do all these kitty cats sleep and live? Can any of the animals come inside the house? Will our sheep have baby lambs? How will I finish my run across the US? So many questions.
More soon.....Cyndi
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Embracing The Unexpected
Just when I think I know, I don't. I've lived my life thinking that things were going to "go a certain way" or that I'm planning on a particular event, thing or action happening. And then......no.
I've been taught this lesson over and over in life, but yet I still try to force My Will on things around me. That's exactly what I did with the 2-story playhouse we built. I was sure I could get it to do what I intended and wanted it to do. But time has shown me that as hard as I try, it's going to be what it is without my permission. Turns out, it would be the dogs and lambs deciding who gets in the house-structure we built. Dogs below, and Belle upstairs. The great pyrenees love laying in the shade underneath it - and Belle is the only one going upstairs to mill around and nibble treats. So it's not SheepLand or a Guard Dog Tower after all. That's just what it "appeared" to be, or better yet, what I was trying to make it be - without knowing what would really happen in the natural progression of life in the pasture. Matter-of-fact, Belle loves it. She enjoys looking around, climbing upstairs via the ramp, milling around up there, and then the finale?! A big jump off the ramp, playfully, to come back down. She's like a kid out playing and enjoying herself. As if she's going somewhere new, and is ready to explore and play. Her lamb sisters are not quite as adventurous. They watch her, most likely baaaaaa-ing to tell her to 'Be Careful'! So now it's hard to know what to do. Fence it? And then the dogs cannot have their new favorite place, in the middle of the pasture in the shade? Or leave it as it is and let everyone enjoy it? It is a new place that provides shade, and they all love that. Sometimes I come home, and they are all laying underneath it enjoying the shade and breeze. It's a nice option between the front trees by our house, and the pond area down by the road. It's in that in-between area. "Just right", as Goldilocks would say.
I'm a bit perplexed, as I had expected this situation to solve my lambs-eating-dog-food problem. I thought it actually had. But the dogs and lambs have decided otherwise, and to use it for another purpose. To be together and enjoy it together. While I was thinking of a separation of sorts, they are thinking it's one more place they will relax and be together. How can I take that away from them? And now it will have yet, another new name. Since Belle is the only one who goes up in it.......I have deemed it The Belle Tower.
This may very well be (one of) my major themes in life. Embracing the unexpected. The secret I've found for myself is to not fight the old, but embrace the new. The only thing constant in my life is change. Every day. Sometimes I think "Can I just have a day to press the Easy Button?" Can I have this day be bland and uneventful? Or is that what I really want? Sometimes I think I want that, but yet I manage to stay busy instead. My family uses the term 'Go Man Go' when referring to me. Go Man Go does just that. I guess even when I have time to sit down and unwind, the activities I use to decompress consists of long walks, being in the barn piddling around, or working on my To-Do list (which I keep in my head). My reason for walking the dogs is for 'their' mental health. But is it? Or is it for my own?
To answer your question, I still have not figured out how to keep the sheep from eating the dog food. Bright side? I have lots of new shade that the dogs and sheep love to hang out in, in the middle of the pasture!
Ever since I've moved to the country, I learned quickly (and reluctantly) that embracing the unexpected is a daily fixture. I can come home from work and find new and different things have occurred that I never would have imagined. Swarms of bees on the side of my house, moving the queen inside our attic. Families of mice moving into our laundry room. Any one of our livestock animals NOT in it's proper pasture. Wasp nest the size of a football atop our house. Our master bedroom filled with wasps. Random dogs trying to take up residence in the pasture. Chicken attacks. Having a 1 day old lamb with no lamb knowledge. Scorpions in the house. Mice chewed up into sections, with their heads, middle or back end/tails left sprawled across the yard. Possums hissing at me in the barn. None of which are terribly horrible. I think it's the unexpected, time after time, that adds up to embracing the fact that "I never know what I'll experience" on The Graves Farm. So now, I expect the unexpected. What's going to happen today? And I've learned that whatever it is, I will handle it. It's part of my life now, and leaning into that just feels good.
I'm heading out for a run. And guess where my destination will be? I'll run up to next town, and arrive at Tractor Supply (Don't we all love that place?! Get'r Done!). Why? Because they have all their baby chicks for .50 cents each, and David has requested 4 more chickens (via chicks) to add to our flock. I'll meet him there, and we will welcome our new additions to the farm. I guess that means we'll need to come up with 4 new girlz names!
Fall is coming,
Cyndi
I've been taught this lesson over and over in life, but yet I still try to force My Will on things around me. That's exactly what I did with the 2-story playhouse we built. I was sure I could get it to do what I intended and wanted it to do. But time has shown me that as hard as I try, it's going to be what it is without my permission. Turns out, it would be the dogs and lambs deciding who gets in the house-structure we built. Dogs below, and Belle upstairs. The great pyrenees love laying in the shade underneath it - and Belle is the only one going upstairs to mill around and nibble treats. So it's not SheepLand or a Guard Dog Tower after all. That's just what it "appeared" to be, or better yet, what I was trying to make it be - without knowing what would really happen in the natural progression of life in the pasture. Matter-of-fact, Belle loves it. She enjoys looking around, climbing upstairs via the ramp, milling around up there, and then the finale?! A big jump off the ramp, playfully, to come back down. She's like a kid out playing and enjoying herself. As if she's going somewhere new, and is ready to explore and play. Her lamb sisters are not quite as adventurous. They watch her, most likely baaaaaa-ing to tell her to 'Be Careful'! So now it's hard to know what to do. Fence it? And then the dogs cannot have their new favorite place, in the middle of the pasture in the shade? Or leave it as it is and let everyone enjoy it? It is a new place that provides shade, and they all love that. Sometimes I come home, and they are all laying underneath it enjoying the shade and breeze. It's a nice option between the front trees by our house, and the pond area down by the road. It's in that in-between area. "Just right", as Goldilocks would say.
I'm a bit perplexed, as I had expected this situation to solve my lambs-eating-dog-food problem. I thought it actually had. But the dogs and lambs have decided otherwise, and to use it for another purpose. To be together and enjoy it together. While I was thinking of a separation of sorts, they are thinking it's one more place they will relax and be together. How can I take that away from them? And now it will have yet, another new name. Since Belle is the only one who goes up in it.......I have deemed it The Belle Tower.
This may very well be (one of) my major themes in life. Embracing the unexpected. The secret I've found for myself is to not fight the old, but embrace the new. The only thing constant in my life is change. Every day. Sometimes I think "Can I just have a day to press the Easy Button?" Can I have this day be bland and uneventful? Or is that what I really want? Sometimes I think I want that, but yet I manage to stay busy instead. My family uses the term 'Go Man Go' when referring to me. Go Man Go does just that. I guess even when I have time to sit down and unwind, the activities I use to decompress consists of long walks, being in the barn piddling around, or working on my To-Do list (which I keep in my head). My reason for walking the dogs is for 'their' mental health. But is it? Or is it for my own?
To answer your question, I still have not figured out how to keep the sheep from eating the dog food. Bright side? I have lots of new shade that the dogs and sheep love to hang out in, in the middle of the pasture!
Ever since I've moved to the country, I learned quickly (and reluctantly) that embracing the unexpected is a daily fixture. I can come home from work and find new and different things have occurred that I never would have imagined. Swarms of bees on the side of my house, moving the queen inside our attic. Families of mice moving into our laundry room. Any one of our livestock animals NOT in it's proper pasture. Wasp nest the size of a football atop our house. Our master bedroom filled with wasps. Random dogs trying to take up residence in the pasture. Chicken attacks. Having a 1 day old lamb with no lamb knowledge. Scorpions in the house. Mice chewed up into sections, with their heads, middle or back end/tails left sprawled across the yard. Possums hissing at me in the barn. None of which are terribly horrible. I think it's the unexpected, time after time, that adds up to embracing the fact that "I never know what I'll experience" on The Graves Farm. So now, I expect the unexpected. What's going to happen today? And I've learned that whatever it is, I will handle it. It's part of my life now, and leaning into that just feels good.
I'm heading out for a run. And guess where my destination will be? I'll run up to next town, and arrive at Tractor Supply (Don't we all love that place?! Get'r Done!). Why? Because they have all their baby chicks for .50 cents each, and David has requested 4 more chickens (via chicks) to add to our flock. I'll meet him there, and we will welcome our new additions to the farm. I guess that means we'll need to come up with 4 new girlz names!
Fall is coming,
Cyndi
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