Be like a sunflower

One of the first gifts I received for my new home was made by my niece, Kristin. 

Thank you, Kristin! 🌻

She gifted me a beautiful piece of art, that she handmade, to hang in my new home. Her, and her two sweet children, Declan and Savannah are all very special people in my life. I appreciate them more than they know and absolutely love this special gift from them. What made it even more special is what she wrote on the back:

💛

These words could not be more true for me, esp in this process of selling and buying of a new home. Because as Katy Perry says, I'm hot and I'm cold, I'm yes and I'm no, I'm up and I'm down. That's me! It's been a rollercoaster ride where I'm actually on a broken rollercoaster that never stops at the station and just keeps going and going. 

Yet, I did it. And as odd as this is going to sound.....I'm so proud of me. I really did it. And with the help of many people! My people. I'm so very grateful to all those who love me so much, that they showed up and helped me realize a dream I've dreamed of for some time. A place of my own. My heart is beyond happy. It's pure joy.

I remember.....

Not that long ago, I remember thinking 'I wonder if I could sell my house and find one for myself to make my very own'. I called it an exploration at the time, because I was unsure if I could pull it off. It started with a call to my realtor, Allison, because if anybody could make it happen, it's her.

She and I talked about my goals and dreams, then she said we could do this, so I fixed my old house up and got it ready for pictures, videos, and then showings and BOOM, the contracts showed up. I was blessed to have a great (final) buyer who gave me a free 3 week lease back to get from my old house to my new house. And I ended up only needing the old house for 2 weeks and gave him (my old house) officially to him 1 week earlier than anticipated. So good news! I'm officially done - and moved out of my old home and moved into my new home. It feels warm, cozy and safe. Best feeling ever.

So how did I do this? I'm still shaking my head about it too. So this was my tentative plan:

I'm almost embarrassed to show you my plan but I wanted to share with you what it all looked like in my head. This 'plan' I wrote sat on my kitchen table staring me down for days and days. I would look back at it, sometimes side eye it, and mull it over some more all while knowing that it would not all pan out exactly like that, but it could be a template for what kinda sorta might happen. And even though the most popular question I received was 'How are you going to move all your chickens?' -  I never knew for sure until Move-Day-Sunday when Morghan actually made the final decision to place them ALL in the tack room of her horse trailer. Until then, I had 5 different ways/ideas bouncing around in my head of how I was going to 'try to try to move the chickens'. Even my written plan had no set way of me doing it. The chickens were my wildcard. 

Let's just say that everything ended up actually moving on Sunday (side note: Morghan needed to change her farm animal move day from Saturday to Sunday) and therefore Sunday started early with Morghan (and her fam) moving the farm animals, first thing (see blog post prior). Then shortly after that, spilled over to the actual house movers, and then onto the movers who would move the barn contents. It was a day! A Sunday to remember. 

On the Saturday before the Move-Day-Sunday, I was blessed to have my brother in law, Gene put in a storm door with a doggie door at my new house. Thank you, Gene! This was key, and a necessity in my life to have my Littles (Maybe, Sugar, Charlotte and Theo along with Mia) in the house, to be able to go out and potty on their own. That same day, Sheryl, I and Kristin made a make-shift back yard with my portable fencing (which I had actually moved on Friday because my work surprised me with that day off so I could prep for my move!). So many loving people around me during a stressful time. I couldn't have done it without them. 

I can tell you that Sheryl was my eyes and ears on Move-Day-Sunday. She picked up all the "pieces" I dropped or left behind. She did all the things when I couldn't do everything. She stayed with me from Saturday to Monday and wowza - that was amazing and I loved every minute of it. We were so tired every night, and when she left Monday I can imagine she was glad to get home and leave the chaos of moving behind. It's alot y'all. Moving is a lot. 

Thank you Sheryl, Kristin, Gene, Declan and Savannah. Thank you Morghan and her family. Thank you to all the amazing movers who did so much to bring all my belongings from Gunter to Wolfe City. And a BIG thank you to my realtor, Allison who made this house sell/purchase magic truly happen. She was there for me thru the thick and thin of it all. When I say I wouldn't and couldn't have done it with anyone else, there are no truer words spoken. Allsion is the bomb.com.

So I did this to myself

Yeppers, the painters showed up Tuesday morning bright and early, so there would be no unpacking until they left.....the following Saturday. They took over my house and covered everything. I did this to myself y'all. I asked for this madness. I figured I'd do this while I had the week off work. 

Here we go....

This was okay Day 1 and 2, but Day 3, 4 and 5 were
not really that okay 😐

I take full responsibility for making this decision. Good news? I could uncover my bed at night and sleep. That's it. I even had to shower at my old house in Gunter. I kept telling myself:  Its worth it. It's worth it. It'll be worth it.....and it was! 

Everything in the house is freshly painted and beautiful and it made my heart so happy. This is something I really wanted. The painters were awesome, and even the horse wallpaper in the master bathroom was removed and it looks like the master bathroom I had imagined it to be. 

Before

After

All the lower kitchen cabinets (and bathroom cabinets) were painted Evergreen Fog by Sherwin Williams, along with all walls, doors, ceilings and trim painted Alabaster - and wow, it sure made the house smell yummy and look brand new with fresh paint. It delayed the unpacking, yes, but I'll get there eventually. 

Brooks and Olive's room is a work in progress

Like the 2 small fridges I have?
I'll need to get a real fridge and stove/oven soon....

This is going to take some time to settle in.
But the dogs seem to be liking it so far.

I love having a guest room, too

It's going to take a bit to settle in and hang pictures and such. I've been focusing on the outside (barn, animals and land) so the inside has been neglected in regards to unpacking and settlement. I just want to be outside all the time, so I have to force myself inside to unpack. 

21 acres, really?

Really. And you know what the odd thing is? It feels like less work. There's several reasons for this: 1) the livestock guard dogs, Levi, Dutch and Penny all stay close by the house and barn, so there's no marching all over kingdom come to try and feed them. They are right around and close by usually and I love that. And: 2) the barn does not need to be "open and shut" nor do any windows need to be open or closed. The barn has such a lengthy outreach of an awning, there's no opening or shutting of anything. I mean, right now I have it all tarped up real good for this cold freeze that's about to happen, but other than that, it'll remain open and 'as is' on a day to day basis. I actually go down and feed everyone then boom, I'm done. Easy peasy.

It's not looking it's best with all the tarps for the bad 
freezing weather to come, but ordinarily, it'll be open.
The overhangs are long and far reaching to keep out
rain and wind - for the most part.

The back side of the barn houses the horses, donkeys and goats and has the same far reaching awning over there, too. It's a great barn! Who knew!? I can't wait to get out there when the weather is a little nicer and really make it 'my own'. There's much to get done out there, and my insides tingle when I think about getting to fix it all up. Cause you know I'm gonna move a bunch of this fencing around. It's my happy place. 

The horses and donkeys are loving the back pasture
and their room in the barn

The goats have their own area, and are doing great 💟

Luckily, all the animals have the ability to take shelter in the barn, stay dry, and have fresh water available. Matter of fact, the barn did not have water access in it, and I did hire a plumber to come trench a line to place out in the barn. I was surprised when I realized the barn did not have a water spikette. But then again, they had sooooo much junk in the barn that I couldn't even tell how big it really was either. 

Best day ever when I got water access in the barn!

Odd, but true

So there's some new-to-me things going on around here.

A gas heater was in the house, even though the house
has central air and heat. And man, this baby
will put some heat out!

So apparently, in the country country, things like this
are here. I'm going to close this in and make it my garage.

I'm charging my Tesla from a regular outlet. 
Now that's odd. I'll likely have my real-deal Tesla
charger installed eventually. 

I do love having the dog beds on my front porch. 

Welcome Home

Another beautiful gift I received for my 
new home, from Allison.

To be real about it all, this has been hard no doubt. There's so many moving parts, logistics, changing of utilities, address changes, moving of physical things and animals  - and the emotional side of it all. I have felt every feeling known to mankind this past few months during this whole process. Good, bad and ugly feelings. All the feelings - and I felt them all. Sometimes I smiled and laughed and other times I cried. Therapy has taught me to feel my feelings and I'm blessed to say that doing so has changed my life.  Moving gave me a prime opportunity to practice doing just that - and I practiced maybe more than I would have wanted. Yet, I'm fortunate to be able to physically and mentally go through a move such as this. I give it all to God who placed me in this current and sent me down this river and kept me afloat the entire time. 

With the gift Allison so kindly gave me, it's a reminder that I am the author of my story, and as I write my next chapter, I'm scited (scared and excited all at the same time) and I'm loving it. It's exciting, it's fun, it's challenging, and it's the unknown of it all that lights a fire in me to keep moving forward and take it all in. The big things, the small things and all the things. This new adventure ignites a part of me that is so ready to jump in. The land and house are in need of fluffing and nurturing, and this fills my cup up like nothing else. Let'f fluff! 

Just for the record, this is me now
driving an hour to get to work.
Netflix helps.

And I'm doing new things all around. (Wait, yes, I'm still line dancing with my girlfriends.) New things include driving longer to work (I signed up for Netflix and it's changed my driving life greatly), meeting lots of new people, learning new things about the area I live in now, and also, that I'm living a life of my very own for the first time in my life. I'm free to be me. New to me is also that I've learned to embrace every version of myself from over the years that lead me to me. I'm the only one that got me this far and as selfish as that sounds, I've also had to forgive myself for accepting things I should not have in my prior experiences. I've needed to forgive myself and work on self-trust, so that I can trust myself to make different and better decisions next time, when and if needed. And this I have. It feels so special to be able to practice new skills in new relationships - and in my 'old' relationships, too. It's like I once was looking out a window that was murky and blurred, and it has now been windex'd and I'm looking out that same window and I see more clearly all the beauty around me - more than ever. And here in Wolfe City, I'm really enjoying being this version of myself that I've moved into - both physically and mentally. I'm in a new place on both fronts. And I love that I've moved physically and mentally as I can actually feel the change and I just want to sit in it and relish it. 

And with that, I'm keeping room in my heart for the unimaginable. I'm walking through the doors that are opening for me. I have a different presence about myself now that I'm truly taking care of me. Jennie Garth said it well: Choosing yourself is choosing the people that you love, too. 

Thanks for coming along this wild and crazy ride with me. Love you all,

Cyndi

New also? I've always dreamed of living in a home that's tv-free. And I currently am. Yet, when Brooks came over to see me/my new house, he couldn't comprehend how there wasn't a tv here. So I may have to get a small one for his room. Monster truck videos are important. 

Settlement 2.0

I'm feeling like myself again, and it has taken a couple of weeks. Settlement 2.0 fits nicely with Cyndi 2.0 and I'm loving Wolfe City. I'll write all about it tomorrow (my day off) as I spent the weekend with Brooks and Olive - and unpacking and settling in around the house.

Excuse the messy janky barn as after the cold freezing weather passes, I’m looking forward to changing things up in it. 

I had a blast with the kiddos on Saturday, and then really enjoyed unpacking (inside) the house and had fun with it! It's an awesome feeling to look around at the things I have in my home: only the items that I want and that I love are in my new house, as I have widdled down my belongings more than ever. What do I love and what do I need is a way of life I've desired for a long time. 

I also started the process in the barn for the freezing weather-to-come (heated water buckets, etc). The animals are all doing great! Yet, I have not been able to locate Whisper and have cried many a tear, searched many a mile, while many a people have assisted with her search. I appreciate them all, and still hold out hope for my sweet girl to return. It's been heartbreaking and gut-wrenching not having her here. 

I hold out hope for Whisper. 😢 Other than her, all the animals have adjusted well and are happy and healthy. I have a lot of work to do in the new barn, and can’t wait for nicer weather to come to go get in it and get after it! 

More tomorrow,

Cyndi

I actually did it

Yeppers, Yes sir, You betcha, Dang right, Yes ma'am and Hell yeah - I got moved! 

It's true, like a dream come true that I am now completely moved in to my new-to-me house in Wolfe City with 21 acres, all my farm animals, dogs and cats (actually minus 2 cats I'm still trying to catch in Gunter to bring here). Overall, it was a success!

It was a team effort. I in no way did this alone. I'll start with the fact my sister, Sheryl came over and experienced the whole shebang with me and more importantly, alongside me. Every.Step.Of.The.Way. I could not have done this without her. She was my wingman, my emotional support sister, my do-anything-that-needs-to-be-done sis. She did it all with love, curiosity, strength and smarts. She's a master anticipator, and I don't know that she knows that. But that's my new name for her. She knew when to help and assist at every turn. She maneuvered the house movers and barn movers and farm animal movers like she was conducting an orchestra. She was all in. And believe me, it was a circus with more than 3 rings happening at any given time. 

And, props to my sweet, sweet friend, Morghan and her family (hubby Jay, son Decklyn and his friend Mason) for bringing a huge horse trailer to my place in Gunter and getting EVERY last one of my farm animals in it! Yes, it's true. If anybody can make farm animal moving magic happen, it's Morghan.

How does one move that many chickens? 

This was the most common question I got prior to moving. How are you going to move all those chickens? Up to the day of the move, I still did not know for sure. I had a few ideas, but little did I know it would happen in a way that it did. What I did know for sure is that I would go out to the barn in the wee morning hours of move day (Sunday a week ago to be exact) and close up the barn completely so that no chicken could get out once they woke up. And just for the record, that was Morghan's idea in the first place.

It goes like this. Once upon a time, a brilliant and bright young lady, Morghan offered up her horse trailer to move my donkeys and horses. Great, I said. Let's do that. Fast forward to her driving up with the horse trailer to my Gunter house and she jumps out of the truck and says, "I have an idea!" She wants to put all my chickens in the tack room (front compartment) of the horse trailer. As she opens the door to it, I look in and wonder if they all would fit. But heck, if I could get all the animals over to Wolfe City in one trip, let's try it! Morghan gives me her mischievous smile and we make a plan. The barn is completely closed. One person would man a door at the barn and another person would man the door to the tack room of the trailer. The rest of us would take the chickens from the barn and hand carry them (1 by 1 or 2 by 2 or even 3 by 3) and place them in her trailer. After all, all the chickens are in the barn and can't escape. And I have a net.

And do you know that trip by trip by trip and after all of us taking turns grabbing chickens and netting chickens and chasing chickens, by gaud if we didn't get them all in that tack room of her trailer. Without ANY escaping. God is good. 

It was a literal shit show. We all had chicken poo on us and we didn't care. We just kept grabbing and carrying chickens until the last chicken was caught. I was astounded. It actually happened. All the chickens were ready for transport. Deckyln and his friend Mason who are 12 years old, were having the time of their lives chasing and netting my chickens and carrying them to the trailer and hustling back for more. They might need therapy in their life for that one day. 

But the chickens had no choice. They were going to be caught. The folks manning the doors of the barn and trailer (we all traded off occasionally) were not about to let any of the chickens out - not a chance. Everyone worked together to make this happen and it was truly a chicken miracle. 

What about the others, you ask?

Well, when I had gotten up at the crack of 2:30 am to shut the barn up that fateful morning, was also when I haltered all my horses and donkeys so they would be ready for transport via the horse trailer.

Poppy is ready!

I didn't have to halter her baby Emerald, 
as where Pippa goes, her baby Emmie goes.

Hope could feel the tension. Luckily,
Morghan is a horse whisper and got
her loaded and settled just fine. Dora was
with her too, her BFF. 👯 

By the way, an important nugget I left out was that Morghan had thought about how to shut up the barn (on her own, by the way) and brought me pallets prior to my move, so that I would use them to block the small entrances in the barn that were open (with no door on them). And it worked like a charm! Great idea, Morghan!

Morghan and I work together at the surgery center and she also let me borrow her 13 foot open trailer to load up my portable fencing and corral panels. And when she brought me the trailer, she had already loaded the pallets on the trailer. I was like, what are the pallets for, and of course she informed me of the plan for them. Did I mention Morghan is a problem solver? That's probably apparent by now. This girl. She solves things before we even talk about the things. And she's 100% responsible for the ideas and movement of my farm animals. And after we spent a fair amount of time chasing down the goats who weigh far more than they look, we loaded them up in the back of the trailer with the horses and donkeys like a pinball machine. All I could do was cross my fingers for the hour drive from Gunter to Wolfe City for all the animals. All in the horse trailer. It took all of us to make that happen. Myself, Sheryl, Morghan, Jay, Decklyn and Mason. But we did it! 

I'd love to tell you I have more pictures of all these shenanigans during the farm animal move, but quite frankly, I was so busy trying to keep up - that I didn't even think about my phone or pictures during all the moving of the animals. So unfortunately, I’ll rely on you to visualize it. And when you do, play circus music in your head, too because it was a full on 5 ring circus with all the chaos, (good) yelling at one another, and all of us running around like a chicken with our head cut off. No pun intended but it illustrates it well. 

The unloading of the animals was much less eventful. Mainly because Sheryl and I had spent a fair amount of time on Saturday setting up the areas where each of the animals would be housed and set free on Sunday. So we were ready for where the chickens would be placed. And when the time would come on Sunday, that's where they would be going.

And sure enough, we all once again, unloaded them in their new barn - exactly the same as we had loaded them up - 1 by 1 or 2 by 2, depending on how many chickens you could hold at one time. Sometimes 3 or 4 at a time. Total chicken count was just over 125 chickens. Mason counted them as we all placed them in their new barn area and then shut them in for their own safety. 

This was the makeshift area whereby the 
chickens would be in lockdown for the 
first 24 hours after arrival.

It was necessary that the chickens be "locked up" for about 24 hours after they were placed in their new barn so they would understand that this is where they live now. And I can happily tell you that the chickens took to their new barn so quickly. I was such a proud chicken mama. Granted, they did have all their same coops and feeders, so it was familiar to them. 

As for the donkeys and horses, they would be released in the back pasture with access to the barn as well. 

The best part was there was hay there waiting for them.
The prior owners had horses, too and still had alot
of hay around. 

The horses and donkeys settled in well.
And they love their new pasture with more
room to roam. And run and roam they did.

I goat this

No I didn't. My great idea about putting the goats with the horses and donkeys in the back pasture didn't go well. The donkeys chased the goats. The goats got out of the pasture and begin living with the livestock guard dogs and spent most of their time around the house area.

They happily greeted the plumbers 
and painters, and anyone else who 
showed up at my house in Wolfe City

Coco and Pearl were like dogs.
Just hanging around the house, wanting pets.

This was all good and fine for awhile. But then it wasn't. It became hard to feed the big white dogs because the goats wanted their food. Then the goats kept trying to come in the house. And the workers who were at the house did not understand why there was a goat in their painter's van, knocking things over. I had to do something different.

So I made them their own temporary area, until I can figure something else out.

It's a little janky, but they have their goat houses, water and food, and shelter. This will do until I can get them a more secure (larger) area made. Goats are curious creatures - and since Coco and Pearl are not sure if they are goats or dogs - I'm going to need to get this situation squared away. But this temp area will be fine for now. Rain is coming and I need them safe and warm. 

Speaking of dogs....

So how did the big white dogs make their way to the farm in Wolfe City?

Somehow and someway, while I was at the house in Wolfe City getting house movers corralled, Sheryl was in Gunter directing the barn mover who was moving the barn contents (think coops, roosts, tack room things, etc). And while all that was happening, Sheryl got Penny and Dutch loaded up in the back of her van and brought them with her on her next trip to the farm in Wolfe City. Now Penny and Dutch are not easy to manuever, mind you, but Sheryl made that magic happen. Did I mention she's a master anticipator and a do-er of all things. 

Levi and Whisper would not be that easy. They would have to come another day. 

I'm happy to report that Penny and Dutch acclimated extremely well to the new farm and new location. After all, all their farm animals were there. They instinctively knew what to do and begin watching and guarding them immediately. I really had no issues with either of them, and they seem to be enjoying their new space and their new place. 

They have their same dog beds, this time placed on
my front porch. With all their chew bones that they love
around so it will all be familiar to them.

Mia and Penny are playing as usual at 
their new home. 

I would love to tell you that Levi and Whisper were an easy catch. But it actually took days after I moved to get them. And when I did, the vet had given me anxiety medication to give them so I could get them in the truck. (I felt like I needed it as much as them, but I did end up giving it to them 😉) And the anxiety meds worked, but Levi had to be force-pulled into the truck. He and I almost went 10 rounds with it, but we got it done. Whisper hopped in the truck pretty good. And off we went!

Levi on the left and Whisper on the right. 
Over all, it was a success to get them to the new farm.

And they too, did well at the new farm, esp because Penny and Dutch were there, and had acclimated already. So everyone settled in well.

Except.....

Let's talk about Kitty. Kitty is about 10 years old and is not a fan of the move.

She did well on the way there, and then settled 
nicely into the barn with her bed, food
and water. 

Until she went up a tree. And then higher up the tree. 

I tried to get her down.
I tried and I tried, but she was
too high.

I finally gave up. 
I called the fire dept.

After all, for 3 days she was in that tree. Her meows were weak. She's old. I needed to help her.

The Wolfe City Volunteer Fire Dept
were all very nice about it.

The firemen came and went in a flash. They got her down and told me next time, to leave her there and she'll come down on her own because they have never seen a cat skeleton in a tree. I was a little taken aback with that comment, but at the same time, you can't argue with that. I haven't seen a cat skeleton in a tree either. 

Kitty is fine now. She's not been back up that tree again. 

Unfortunately, another dilemma as occurred. Whisper went missing the other night. She did not show up for breakfast, which is not unusual. But it's been a few days now and I'm very worried - and I've asked neighbors, I've driven around, and I've looked for her in neighboring pastures. She does have a collar with her name on it and my phone number and I'm hoping someone will call me soon to say they found her. I'm beyond heartbroken. I keep looking and looking for her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. 

I knew that this move would be hard on the animals as that was my greatest concern about moving. And I was able to get everyone moved, here and settled. Yet, I knew things could go sideways and wasn't sure who that would impact the most. And I'm surprised it was Whisper, but then again, I didn't know who would be impacted the most because all my animals have only every know my farm for so long now. But I keep replaying why her? Where is she? Why is someone not calling to say they found her. I'm holding out hope she's okay and I'll get her back soon. It's just been hard to not have her here, while Levi, Penny and Dutch are. 

And it makes me extra cautious for all the dogs now. The Littles are all doing well. Mia is adjusting, and staying close too, but then again, she's inside with The Littles - and outside too as she enjoys playing with Penny. Sheryl's husband, Gene put in a screen door (thank you, Gene!) that has a doggie door in it and Sheryl and I made a makeshift backyard for them to be safe in when I'm gone. 

I think you can see the fenced backyard that
Sheryl and I put up from here.
Also, the ducks are loving their new place.
They have 2 ponds now to swim in,
but still come to the barn for chicken food.

As I close out this blog post for now, I'll continue to cover more moving things next time - like the actual house move. I’m extremely happy that the farm animal move was successful overall. And I did put my own move of my own things on dim, as I was hyper-focused on getting all my animals moved, safe and happy. But there was a whole nother universe of moving my own things into my house, and projects I had going on at the same time that were spinning and happening in contrast to the animal move. That's for next time.....

I'm blessed that we all made the move to the new farm, except for my other 2 cats, June Bug and July who I'm trying to fanagle getting here. But I'm working on that. I have until Feb 23rd before I have to be completely out of my house in Gunter. I'll get them, it's going to take some special planning, but I'll get them.

I want to give a huge shout out to my sis, Sheryl for spending days with me, helping me with my move and for always being there. I could not have done it without you and would not have wanted to do it without you. Your the bestest 🥰 your sacrifice of time away from your own family was appreciated more than words can speak. 

And to Morghan, and her tribe, I’ll never be able to repay you for the gift you gave me of moving all my farm animals. Only you could do that - and you sure did! 

It’s been something, this moving thing. I have been so supported and loved through it all. And I’m proud to say I didn't let the hard days win, and grateful for it 😊 

Blessed beyond words, 

Cyndi

Me when things would get hard to handle 

Don't let the hard days win

I've moved to Wolfe City! But not yet unpacked. It's a story, but for now, I'm trying to figure my life out and will settle down and blog SOON! 

So embarrassing, yes, I'm that person 🙄

Kitty was up in the tree for days
and was only going higher each day

Yep, met the Wolfe City Firefighters on Day 4 of moving here. Kitty is fine now, thanks to them. I was informed to give her more time (if she does it again) up in the tree next time because apparently 3 days wasn't enough. "No one has ever seen a cat skeleton up in a tree" according to the Wolfe City Fireman. 

Okay then. Seems they know a things or two about cats in trees. 

I'll get over my embarrassment. Kitty is okay. Did I mention that I moved Sunday? Yet I'm living out of my truck while I'm not allowed in my home due to painters taking over my house. It'll be great when they finish, but for now, I'm doing all the outside things first. Lots of barn time!

Every room is like this and I've not unpacked 1 box yet.

They say Saturday I'll get my house back.

Luckily, I've had experience living outside.
It's not nearly as bad as it might sound.

I do get to go in at evening time/night and sleep there though. Then back out in the morning. I'm off work this week, so it's manageable. 

Can't wait to get to unpack and settle in!

More soon,

Cyndi

Ahhh, this beautiful life

I would have never seen this coming. After all, life isn't exactly neat and tidy. This past year has genuinely shown me the importance of taking as much care of my mental health as I (try to) do for my physical health. This, in turn, has truly enabled me to write my own story, straight from my heart and soul. For me, it all begins and ends with personal work within myself, and I've taken that very seriously. The changes I've made within myself this last year have been profound, esp when it comes to the decisions I make regarding my life and the connections that I nurture with those I love and those who love me. I certainly don't know how much time I have left to continue my particular journey in this world, but this life long work of attempting to grow will include turning many corners, all while gathering nuggets of wisdom to use along the way. One of my primary catalyst for learning and growth has been the pain I carry within. Pain wants to teach us. It's taught me there's often times a need to adapt and change even when I resist it. It's taught me resilience. And most importantly, pain has taught me to take action and to protect myself, and grow from challenging situations. I have spent so much time feeling my feelings. Acknowledging and validating that my own feelings are real and important. This has been imperative to a path forward. And boy howdy have I ever honed this skill. I'm a girl who can feel a feeling. 

First up

As I move forward in my life (figuratively and literally) I am proud of me. I'm thinking about what I am going to do (and want to do) based on my own needs and desires, which sounds logical, but I've not really done that in my life as I should have (because of, well you know those silly things like codependency and other unhealthy traits always seemed to have stepped in my own way of myself). And taking responsibility for this has been life changing for me. Luckily, as I learn to get out of my own way, I now know what feels warm to me. What feels right to me. Sometimes I feel guilty about thinking about what is best for me, but that comes with the territory of learning that it's okay to look after myself. Self love, baby. And self love for me comes in many shapes and forms.....one of which is making sound financial decisions to protect what my future with cancer looks like. I feel a great need to set myself up properly, so when the time comes to be away from work for awhile, I can take care of myself financially - on my own. MD Anderson really opened my eyes up a little more on my last visit to what my future might hold. A stem cell transplant could possibly be in my future (they will offer it to me when my progression to PV/MF 2 happens, as I am currently at PV/MF 1) and I appreciate MDA for helping me understand what today looks like - and what the future will likely bring. MDA is awesome at this whereby they kindly and gently tell you what's next up. and while they can't necessarily predict future time lines for it all, they can tell me what's on the horizon with a blood cancer that is progressive. This they know for sure. And they steer folks like me in a direction of understanding. Love them.

So I'm making changes for me, myself and I that feels warm and right.

And with that said, it's official, I'm moving! I've mentioned before about all the steps and actions and things that have been swirling about the selling of my farm and the idea of buying a new farm. I've prayed about it so very much, and asked God to show me the way. Apparently, the way is to Wolfe City to my rock house on 21 acres and yes, all of my (farm) animals are coming with me. There's a barn and run-in shed for them there.  

I did end up selling my farm to this mystery man who has now revealed himself to actually be a business. I just signed a modification to the purchase agreement that the buyer is no longer (insert) his name, but instead, the name of a company. It's a company that does business in heavy equipment and machinery both commercial and farm related. Oddly, the land behind me is filled with big, heavy farm equipment and machinery, so the irony that my land could be the same thing is an interesting turn of events. Is my home to really be an office? Or will they just knock my house down? Who knows, but this cash pay experience translates into a cash pay experience of my own new-to-me home. Which is a long-time goal of mine. I've worked hard to get to this place in my life, esp in this last year, and the fact that this is really happening brings me peace and joy. 2024 has taught me more than most all years combined in my life. 

In hindsight, the hardest part hasn't been the house showings, or the negotiations or the craziness of trying to sell and buy a home within a short period of time together. Instead, the hardest part for me is the uncertainty of the settlement of my animals at their new home in Wolfe City. All the animals I have, have only called this farm their home. They have known of no other land, of no other barn(s) and my concern for their safety and understanding of taking them to their "new home" has been my primary concern through this process. 

I do hope that they all settle into our new place well and happy. I pray that they stay around (talking to you, my livestock guard dogs who love to wander). It's a chance I'm taking by doing this, as my animals well-being and safety are my biggest concern. 

When's the big day/timeframe? Beginning of February! I close on my Gunter farm on Jan 30th and then turn around and close on my new Wolfe City farm on Jan 31st. The new owner of my Gunter farm is providing me a lease back until Feb 23rd and I greatly appreciate the time he's giving me to move and get settled elsewhere. 

It's happening and there's no going back now. Everything is signed, sealed and delivered except the final close date, of course. And it's coming up soon.....

How do you move 130 chickens? 

That's certainly a good question. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. It's a work in progress. My horses, donkeys and goats are going to travel in a horse trailer there, and that in itself may be challenging considering I'm not sure whose going to want to get into the horse trailer and who will refuse. Ahhhh, so many fun times on the horizon. Hard times. Fun times. Or should I say 'funny' times are coming my way! 

Me: pondering the move of 
so many chickens

Me: concerned about what bad
or hard things that 'could' happen
trying to move chickens
and 4 livestock guard dogs

I feel like Brooks and Olive's school photos this year best represent my feelings about moving my farm animals, in particular chickens and livestock guard dogs who do not typically like getting in a moving vehicle.

Wait, one more as Olive hits a home run with this one.....

Me: right about now

Let me say this please

I'm taking a huge risk in life. I'm moving an hour away from work, and yes I'm planning on staying there for my job. I'll drive the drive, as I can't imagine working anywhere else right now. 

I'll be further away from my grandkiddos. I don't know what to expect living in this small town, like whose around me, or where is the closest grocery store and shopping places. Is it Commerce, Bonham or Greenville? 

My doctors will all be further away. But I will say this about all the unknowns. I will be figuring them all out with time. I'm going to feel the uncertainty and trust the process. And trust what God has in store for me. 

How about this snow?! 

So this recent snow thing was a big deal here. It's amazing how I can get 6-8 inches of snow and my sister, who lives in Midlothian got very little. It was a particular snow path that this snow weather took and I hit the jackpot with it. I will say that freezing temps and snow create so much more work, for many reasons which include providing water that's not frozen, keeping food available that's edible, and trying to make sure everyone is as comfortable and warm as they can possibly be in freezing temps. My secret is lots of straw in the barn(s) from the start to the finish when it comes to warmth for all the animals.

It really was beautiful 

It became harder to look for my big white 
dogs to feed them when everything
was so white

I'm happy the snow is subsiding and although it's not all gone here, it's getting there. I think we all struggle in our own ways when it comes to such unusual weather for this milder climate we live in. Luckily, winter is only one season and I'm never sad to see it go. Cheers to Spring coming!

This was when it hadn't even finished snowing yet

As the snow subsides, it did force me to stay inside and pack up my house for the upcoming move, I will say that I've been able to get so much done inside, which is not usually where I spend the majority of my personal time. But there I was inside, like those two children in the Cat In The Hat book, sadly looking out the window. 

Also inside were my pups who were going stir crazy as well - and not much help at all when it came to packing.

Theo tried hard to be a big helper with the packing. Beside him, my biggest dog-obstacle was most all of the pups not wanting to go outside to potty, and who could blame them. 

There was alot of this. Stepping 2 steps 
out the doggie door, potty and come
right back in. The dogs, not me.

I imagine we all felt our own types of struggle, but if I bright-side it, I did have water, electricity and food. And learned to take a larger step out my door when heading outside. Mia tried hard to show them what to do, because she's an amazing dog who happens to love snow. But The Littles weren't having it. I think one of my favorite things about Mia is that she tries hard to show the other dogs how to be a good dog.

This girl. Not sure what I did to be blessed with
her as my very own. My very own goofball. 
And I'm here for it! She's a dog who loves all dogs.

Mia really wants to please - and be her best all the time. She's truly an amazing dog, and is a wonderful example of a dog who can show other dogs how to dog. If only they would take note. I could sure take a page out of her book as well, come to think about it. She’s that dog that would have a dog sweater on that says Be Kind 🫶🏼

Ahhh, the joy of packing. 
Maybe was a wonderful observer of it all.

I'm fortunate to get boxes from my workplace.
I had more boxes than I had stuff to put in them. 
I've learned to store things at the store - 
and not at the house.
That's been life changing for me.

These next few weeks are the calm before the 'moving' storm. It feels like an unbecoming moment, that is teaching me how to become more me-ish. Turns out, I'm not too old to start over. One of (the many) most beautiful moments in my life is when I realized I can do whatever I want. I'm just living it, without an explanation. Just fricking living it. It may turn out great or it may not. Either way, I'm in the messy middle of it all now and trusting the process. And trusting myself. I'll be here to catch myself if I fall. Maya Angelou once said, "I got my own back." She's one of the fiercest women that's walked this earth. I definitely take a page out of her book on the regular. 

You are your best thing,

Cyndi

My favorite cold weather activity?