It was the last weekend in May.....
Yes, the big move from Fort Worth to Gunter happened. The little happy family of Lauren, Ryan and Brooks made their way to the Graves Farm and moved into the little house on the prairie with Nana and Pops. It was the weekend after the wedding on the farm, and we were ready for our next big event. The move went well, and everyone settled in to what we all thought was going to 'work out' for rooms and living spaces. Little did we know that would change greatly over the course of a few weeks. Time would tell us more of what we did not know.
So how's it going?
Well, let's talk about that. As I take time to settle into my thoughts about all this and attempt to express them, I find myself listening to the storm blowing in from the northwest just outside my window. I watch the sky go dark and observed the light show that is bestowed upon us all. It reminds me how life is reflected back to me. First the quiet and calm, then the dark clouds slowly blow in, then the wind picks up. And as the wind picks up speed, it brings with it its best friend, driving rain. Have I buttoned down the barn enough? Is everyone outside safe and dry? While I listen, observe and think about my invisible check list, I find Sugar beginning to tremble in my lap. And while I know this will all pass, I'm not sure she knows this as I do. Maybe sits at my feet, Buddy and Sophie snuggle into and onto each other as if they have become one. We all wait. We all listen. I think about how grateful I am for this rain. Then it hits me....
This is my reminder of my own life. There's been stormy days in our little home which now houses 6 human beings, 2 of which are small or tiny. We have developed make-shift rooms, and also switched several rooms around (multiple times) since the beginning of June to continue to search for the best use of space for each of us. We are figuring out what works best for each individual and situation. The storm outside moving about the trees and changing nature in its path, reminds me of the movement inside our home. Then the storm passes and we settle in. New rooms, new organization, and new changes in our relationships. We are now two families blended into one, trying to communicate our needs, wants and desires. We are trying to figure out who does what around the house. We are trying to figure out meals, manage a crowded refrigerator, and navigate a newborn with a toddler (well, Ryan and Lauren are anyway). I'm simply support crew. Their well-established family unit operates wonderfully without me injecting my 'will' into it. I've learned many things over this past month and my best advice to myself is always: paddle my own canoe. Stay in my lane. Let them raise their children. Stay out of the way. Only give advice when asked (this is a goal which I've not yet met). What I love most is being of support, assistance and help when asked, when needed, and mindfully watching myself to not overstep mine - or their boundaries. This new era in my life has shown a light on many things I need to work on personally. Ooofff. It's hard trying to be better. But all I can do is keep at it.
I'm happy to report that despite many life changes happening at once in our little house (new jobs for them, new baby, new residence, new everything) we are working together to cultivate open communication so that when storms come, we can navigate through them as well as we know how. With the hope of leaving us with joy, growth and peace. Fortunately, most of the time we have beautiful 'weather' here inside the house. We are all finding our way with each other, around each other, and continue to work on patience and understanding.
These things take time and I have no intention of telling you, "I'm fine!". I'm here to speak my truth of what it's like to be a support crew for my daughter, her husband and their children. I won't try to sugar coat it, and instead tell you it comes with many challenges and obstacles. Learning how to stay out of the way of established routines. Learning when help is needed and wanted. Learning how different we really are from one another and respecting that. This is a fluid and ever changing environment inside our little home. Sometimes, it's every man for themselves. Sometimes, we are a beautiful team. But what happens every day (which also happens everyday for me at work, too) is that I'm learning. Always learning new things, new ways, and new thought processes from those around me. I really try to try to stay open to it all. Yes, trying is a little too strong of a word for me right now. Instead, I will simply try to try. I'm far from mastering this, but at least I find myself attempting to stay on the listening road and allow my mind to take in what's happening around me. Only then can I be aware of what's circling my universe at any moment and think about how best to react. I'm trying to try people.
What you really want to know though
It all started with a sprinkle. Not a shower, because Lauren does not enjoy a full-on rain but rather a light drizzle. So a sprinkle it was for her soon-to-be new little Olive Elizabeth.
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| Lots of yummy food |
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| And someone who wanted cake, lots of cake please |
We had our sweet friends and family over to celebrate and immensely enjoyed this opportunity to share the love and excitement of her new baby.
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| So fortunate to celebrate little Olive |
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| David made this, but you probably already knew that |
The sprinkle was very nice, and gave us all a wonderful 'reason' to get together and be with one another in communion and in community on that gorgeous day of June 3rd. Little did we know at that time that one month later, July 3rd, would be the big day.
In the meantime
As our new-found family unit began to blend and take shape, I found myself doing new things.
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| Like having a naked toddler playing in the living room |
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| Eating smores in the hot tub |
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| This is new. Esp the "I peed in the hot tub" |
But not to worry, there's plenty of (sorta) usual things happening.
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| Buddy and Sophie playing with their ball in Brooks wagon |
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| Barn life |
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| Maggie enjoying her swimming pool in this heat |
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| Sugar looks a little worn for the wear, but finds Brooks chair comfy cozy. This change has been challenging for her. |
The month of June was a time of settling, changing, adjusting and learning to be with one another on a daily basis. We all felt the tension of a new baby coming, as well as the 'not-knowing' of how it would change things even more. Ah, the unknown. We were all seemingly drifting in a raft at sea. Trying to make our way into the unknown and paddling in a direction we think is best. Then it happened. We spotted land.
Okay, what you really want to know this time
It was July 3rd, induction day for Lauren. Lauren and Ryan were up early to head to the hospital. I had to head into work for 1/2 day, and David was on Brooks Duty. Team Us was in action.
When I got off work around noon, I headed to the hospital with treats, ready to welcome a baby into this world.
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| I like to call this: The Apprehensive Family look. Like you know a train is coming but can't get out of the way. |
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| It happened to be the best cookie cake I've eaten in a long time. I think Lauren would agree since she and I ate it all. |
Everyone has a birth story. We all do and we all love to tell it. I'll give you the shortened version of hers. Induction first and it was slow going. I happen to arrive around noon-ish. They break her water around 2 pm? These are estimated times by the way. Her contractions intensify and an epidural is placed around 2:30 pm. Things progressed quickly and I'll save you from those details and say that the baby was coming and there was no stopping her - and there was no doctor close by. A mid wife was on the floor, and they called her in and Lauren pushed 1 and 1/2 times - and in that short of time, she had her little Olive, all to the surprise and maybe even horror of the staff around her. There was no waiting. Olive was coming, ready or not. 3:55 pm and boom, she's here.
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| Whoop there it is....skin to skin time |
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| Now that's Big Foot |
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| It all happened so fast |
So now we have a healthy little baby Olive in the world. I've never seen Lauren this happy. With covid, I was not allowed in the hospital for the birth of Brooks. But this time, I was here for it all. I loved watching it all happen around me. The joy!
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| The happy family 💗 |
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| Don't you love the look of a hours-old newborn? |
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| She was so content |
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| Until she's wasn't |
It was still up for discussion if Brooks would meet Olive at home or in the hospital, but it was decided that the following day, we would bring Brooks up to meet her.
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| The fascination and wonder of a new sister |
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| He could not take his eyes off her 💕 |
There's a happy ending to this baby story, and we are most grateful. We are well aware that that's not always the case, and we thank God for his blessings and this most beautiful gift He's given us of Olive Elizabeth.
Fast forward
Everyone is home and settling in, yet this time, a little differently. There's a new tiny human in the little farm house on the Graves Farm. Sometimes when Olive cries, Brooks is startled and unsure. But he's settling in that his baby sister Olive will cry, sometimes even scream and also sleep alot. He's adjusting as children do with new siblings......these things also take time.
So we are all back to living our lives in this new adjustment period and it's going quite well.
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| Happy Family for sure |
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| Lauren is loving all the girl clothing options just saying |
There are so many blessings here. One of my favorites is quality Brooks-time. We spend many an evening in the barn, or out front playing, maybe some sandbox time or hot tub time. Maybe just putting rocks in the chicken water bucket or walking around the pasture. We spend alot of time just doing outside-things that are simple and it makes everyone happy.
As you know, this story will continue and has many more twist and turns ahead. I just can't see them from here. But there will be signs. Maybe something like: Watch for Dip in Road, or Bump Ahead, or even the ever famous Dead End.
Just know this, we will continue to look for the detour when necessary. Or go around. Or just plow through. Or turn back around and go back. One way or another we will continue to find our way in this blessed journey.
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| Maybe my favorite sign ever |
