Ain’t no place I'd rather be than Wolfe City, Texas - population me, my chickens, two feral grandkids, a honky tonk full of line dancers, and apparently, enough snakes to film Snakes On A Farm. All my life’s twisty roads led me right here.
Country Music Please
A new line dancing (and country dancing) honky tonk has been added to the play list......Southern Junction in Royce City.
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Thursday night is 2 step and line dance night |
I still hit up Calhouns with my gals Carla, Anne, and Jolene - and the rest of the gang. But I have found a place where boots scoot and line dancing is alive and well in Royse City. Y’all, a slew of people show up for this, anywhere from ages 9 - 90 shaking what their mama gave’em. 2 step is taught first then line dancing ensues with 2 dances taught before the music swells and the crowd starts circling the floor. Best part? It's $Free.99 - cheaper than a gas station hot dog.
Speaking of country music, I’ve been deep diving into Kacey Musgraves new album and my fav is Deeper Well. She sings like she’s been reading my blog, my mind, and drinking my coffee.
That line:
The things I was taught only took me so far
Had to figure the rest out myself
And then I found a deeper well
It's natural when things lose their shine. So other things can glow.
I've gotten older now, I know how to take care of myself. I found a deeper well.
Yes, ma’am, hits harder than a shot of whiskey. Or tequila. Not really sure as I don't drink. But it sounds right.
Granted these are only a few of the lyrics in Deeper Well, but this most recent album of hers explores the themes of self-discover, navigating life transitions and finding inspiration. I still find myself amazed at the world we live in where empowered women of all ages have learned to speak their truth, stay in their power and live their life as they desire unapologetically. The peace that comes with staying true to yourself is remarkable, and apparently a hidden gem that when we find it, we can't ever unsee it - thank goodness. And it's also Free.99 and freeing.
Country Living in the Barn
The chicks are growing up and out of their small enclosure, so I made them an extension whereby Betty could finally be together with her chicks.
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Betty, BeyoncΓ© of the Barnyard |
After I settled the smaller chicks (who are growing!) into the duplex next to the older chicks, I did let Betty in to nurture her babies as she has maternal instincts so strong she’d probably adopt a possum if it walked in.
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Betty was like “say less” and open the door |
Nurture is Betty's middle name. She has been busy teaching her 8 chicks life skills (4 easter-eggers and 4 silkies all who I bought at Atwoods and are not Betty's actual children). Don't shhh, don’t tell her she birthed none of them. She tirelessly teaches bug-hunting, food scratching , and how to give the stink eye to barn cats and snakes. She's in it to win it and raise well-adjusted children in this crazy world we live in. 14/10.
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Betty with her feathered Brady Bunch |
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They spend a lot of the time naked out here |
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Olive is a good helper, sorta |
Olives job? Dump all the chicken feed out, then try to scoop it back up. Sometimes with her hands. She's adorable chaos.
Brooks, on the other hand, is already acting like Assistant Barn Manager. If I step off the curb, he'll be the one to take over the barn responsibilities and provide an inservice to all others for proper feeding, watering and caretaking. Maybe even issue ID badges and unionize the chickens. I think he was born in a tractor.
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The feral children do have clothes |
Country Horror
Sometimes bad creatures creep into the barn and I don't even realize it. Until they show themselves to me.
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This guy |
Back story? Because you can't have too many chickens, I recently went to Howe to take a flock of 12 chickens from a lady much like me, but who no longer wanted her chickens. Wait, so I guess she's not really like me. Anyway, I brought all 12 of her Rhode Island Red girlz back home and set them free in the barn to start making new friends.
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You go girlz |
So here’s the real thriller: I go to the barn letting my new girlz out, minding my business, collecting eggs when a snake pops up like “Hey, girl.”
Wait, I thought. Did I just see a snake peek its head out at me, from behind that piece of wood? As I walk closer to take a look, I could see it looked like multiple snakes behind the piece of wood leaning against the barn wall. Long story short – it was not multiple snakes, like my eyes told me. It was one big slithery son-of-a-hiss, living its best life off my unpaid egg supply.
Let me tell you, there is no plan when you’re suddenly in a boss battle with a reptile. I would ultimately MacGyver that fight with a floor scraper, shovel, tree trimmers, and a wrench. Oh, add in the metal cutters and it was a DIY horror show meets CrossFit. That snake was strong. I’m pretty sure it could bench press me. Little did I know what was ahead of me.
But really, it all made sense. It had been eating my eggs for a few weeks now, because I had noticed I was picking up less eggs than usual. Odd, I would think. Picking them up right next to the snake's casa and who knew. Not me.
And to think it was the snake that showed itself to me. Just saying hi. This is where things took a turn. I was attempting to push the heavy snake with the scrapper from behind its living quarters and then attempted to pin it with the scrapper. But no. It slithered away so fast I did not see where it went. In one blink of my eye, it was gone. I'm in the barn looking around for it as I'm not going to let it win. If your not first, your last.
I knew it was still in there, it had to be. It had gone around the corner and was in the other side of the barn now. I'm looking and looking for it, and then I walk by a coop that was almost up against the wall and there, the snake caught my eye. It had slithered up the wall pushing itself between the wall and the coop - up off the ground hiding from me. I had looked under that coop, but it was behind the coop off the floor. Tricky snake.
I begin to gather tools for this job not realizing it would not be enough. My scrapper and my shovel. Yep, that should do it, I'm thinking. I'll pry it out from behind the coop with the scrapper and jab its head off with the shovel. Yeah, that's my plan. I don't know how long I fought with that snake behind the coop and wall but it finally fell to the ground and acted like it wanted to get me. It opened its mouth so wide and showed its teeth and tongue like it was at the dentist. It could open its mouth wider than I could open mine. Where was I? Oh yeah, trying to hold it down with the scrapper and cut its head off somehow. But you know what? Once I was able to sorta pin its head down, I realized how strong it was. And now I understand (after trying and trying) that neither my scrapper or shovel was sharp enough to cut its head off. And it was taking all my energy just to hold the snake down with my scrapper, which is sharp and has a long handle but not ever gonna kill a snake. Not nearly sharp enough for the large rubber tire of a body this snake has.
What to do. Think, Cyndi, think. OK, within stretching arms reach, I could see a wrench on a shelf that I could then use to pull my tree trimmers close enough to grab. All while holding that snake down with my scraper. So using my third arm, I grabbed those tree trimmers and was grateful I had laid that wrench where I had. It had come in handy. These tree trimmers are about 2 feet long and I use them to trim branches hanging low on trees. Certainly, I could get this finagled around the snakes neck and trim it like I would a tree branch. And after much to-do, twisting and turning and fighting the snake to keep it from running away from me, I finally get to the point where I could ooch my tree trimmers over and under its neck. I then use my knee to push down and close the tree trimmers enough to secure the snake within my grasp so it could no longer get away. And I was finally able to let that scrapper drop to the ground. I then picked that snake up off the ground, about 2 feet away from me in the grip of the tree trimmer.
The unfortunate part about this was that the tree trimmer, although could cut a branch of a tree it was not sharp enough for the thickness and texture of the snake. By now, the rest of the snakes body is trying to wrap itself around the tree trimming handles and get to me so that it could somehow release itself from my grip. I didn’t even scream (on the outside). So I’m holding this snake up off the ground above my head and as far away from my body as I can all while trying to figure out what to do next.
It was in that moment that I realize the only sharp enough instrument that I had in the barn to cut off this snakes head was my metal cutters. They too are about a foot and a half to 2 feet long, and the mouth of them do not open up as big as the tree trimmer. So that means I’ll have to hold the tree trimmer tight with my body and legs while I use my wire cutters to slowly make nips around its neck to cut its head off. Ugh. Yes, it was a slow death, and it was a terrible and awful thing to do. But it was either the snake winning or me winning. And I wasn't gonna be last.
In this moment, it was hard for me to realize that I was holding a huge snake with my tree trimmers and slowly nipping away at its neck with my metal cutters until finally, the head was separate from its body. I watched its body thrash about and I knew that there had to be a better way.
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Just to think some people enjoy this |
It’s also in this moment of a thousand thoughts that I realize I need to clean my barn out of all possible snake hiding places. And that I would do with time, actually the next day. But in this moment, I would also need to figure out how to get rid of the snake that is now in two pieces. Like a good southern lady, I put it in the trash and prayed it wouldn’t come back to haunt me.
First though, one needs to take a pic.
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And to think it wasn’t even stretched out all the way |
And that night, I dreamed that the snake came back to life and out of that trash receptacle and back to haunt me.
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Let’s see, am I doing this right? |
Wait, I better draw my victim.
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And then set this about 5 feet away from me, before I fire at it. |
I was told a few profound nuggets from the gun guy: It would be loud. Have a kick. And don't shut my eyes when pulling the trigger. I'm not sure how one prepares themself for their first firing of a shotgun, but likely the most important step is just having the guts to pull the trigger.
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And they sell guns to people like me |
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Who have no aim or knowledge of correct gun holding π€ͺ |
I practiced. Missed 4 times. Hit the pretend snake on shot #5. Just enough accuracy to scare a squirrel. Barely.
Yet, I’ve learned many unfortunate things recently. What it takes too buy a gun. What it takes to shoot a gun. How loud a gun is and how it will kick you. And how I need to figure out if I can shoot my gun in the barn and kill a snake and not kill any other living being. People make it seem easy to kill a snake with a gun. But is it that easy?
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5th try ☑️ |
Cluckingham
Chicken math has been a part of my life for almost 10 years now, starting with my 2 Rhode Island Reds, Ginger and Butterscotch back in 2016-ish. I think about them and look forward to seeing them again one day. They were the ones who taught me what chicken love was all about. And just to think I thought 30 chickens was alot and anybody who had 30 or more chickens must certainly be not-right. I already know I'm not-right and don't need way too many chickens to tell me that.
Okay, started with two chicks. Now I got….I dunno. A lot. Somewhere between “enough for a dozen eggs” and “might need my own ZIP Code.” I just don't have a real number at this point.
But I can try......Let’s see, include my 12 new chicks and my new 12 Rhode Island Red girlz who joined the flock this past weekend, plus these and those.... insert calculator clicking. Well actually…..it's too hard to say. I don't know how many chickens I have except to say it's in the triple digits. You see, I've lost a few since I've moved here, primarily from old age. I have many old girlz, and one recent passing was a tough one, Veronica, my diva bantam.
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Beauty Queen of the Flock |
Veronica was my heart in chicken form. I cried a good cry, and I was extra wonky for days. I am always wonky when I lose a chicken, but this was way worse. I knew she was old, and I knew she wasn't going to make it once she 'went down' inside a coop to take her last breathes.
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Back in the day, she would sit on the dog bed, I mean, her throne |
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Always an excellent photo bomber |
Girl, I'm gonna miss you. Still scanning the yard for you.
Rest easy, my sweets.
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We will all miss you π |
I've found my deeper well,
Cyndi, Queen of Cluckingham
Late addition to the blog, just as it was to be posted.......
Okay, I went to the barn to check for eggs tonight, turn their night lights on, and make sure everyone was tucked in tight just before dark as I always do. While checking for eggs, guess what I saw: a π
Yas! A big one, too. Just sitting in a roosting box having dinner like he pays rent.
So what do I do? I RAN! Like Forrest Gump back to the house, grabbed my shotgun, my shells and ear protection and locked the dogs up in the house then literally RAN back to the barn putting my ear protection on all at the same time.
I got back to the barn and the snake was still there. I hurriedly put a shell in and dang it if the chickens were curious about the snake. I kept trying to shoo them away with my end of my gun and finally could take a shot. I took the safety off, aimed and fired. BOOM! I hit it! I loaded my gun again and BOOM! I hit it again. It blew 2 big holes in the snake but it was a big enough snake and still moving. So you guessed it, while it was bleeding and I knew it would eventually die, I loaded up a 3rd shell and hit it again. I blew that sucker up. Then, for good measure, I took my new tree trimmers (I had gotten after the last snake incident) and I tree-trimmed its head off.
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You just try to get away, go ahead while I load another shell |
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Yeppers, I blew a hole in my roosting area too |
My new tree trimmers are snake-sharp.
I have no patience for any snake in my barn. Stay out. I’ve got aim now and vengeance in my soul. I will blow you up. And lastly, there will be golf balls placed all around for you to swallow and I hope you enjoy those too while I go grab my gun.
I still can't believe that the same day I practice shooting my shotgun for the first time is the same day I actually use it for the purpose intended. Just so you know, I did not hesitate. I did it. I'll do it again. You’ve been warned, reptile demons.
Stay county y’all.